 Today we're going to talk about mixed signals men say or do that feels like you've been used and if you can relate to any of these, do me a favor and hit that like button. So we're going to dive right into this and I'm going to start with the TV show, The Golden Bachelor. The Golden Bachelor, this is for those living in the United States. This is on ABC, although you can watch it on Hulu as well. And quickly the premise is it's a 72 year old man who's the bachelor. There are 22 women buying for his attention and he keeps each week narrowing it down to a few and last week he narrowed it down to three people. And during each episode I thought something was rather interesting that he said and they also did a preview of the next episode and included this that relates to mixed signals men give. Now with two of the women, he said, I love you. I love you. Okay. I love you to two of the women, Leslie and Faith. And with respects to Teresa after the Ferris wheel, he said, I'm in love with Teresa. So I want to unpack the idea. I love you. I'm in love with you. I'm falling in love with you because in many cases, this feels like a mixed signal and what I mean to say is, let's think about the words, I love you. I mean, that means I genuinely care about you. I see you in my life. I see you in my life forever. In some instances, I love you feels like a promise for the future. Promise for the future. So because of this, it can feel like a mixed signal and if this future doesn't manifest or doesn't come to fruition, it can feel like you're being used because he said something in the trailers for the following week that I thought was really fascinating. And he said, I love you in the moment. I love you in the moment. See, when you think about the early stage of dating, how often do men come on and say, oh my God, you're the most amazing woman on the planet. I could see us going on trips together. I could see myself marrying you. In that moment, he is amped up on a variety of different chemicals. The word where chemistry comes from is chemicals. And these chemicals include dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, estrogen for women and oxytocin, which actually can be released for both men and women, although women tend to bond with men through oxytocin. Men bond with women as well through oxytocin, but there's a kind of a different dynamic I believe. And this is just me hypothesizing from material I've read before. The minute a woman has sex with a man, she releases oxytocin, whereas I believe with men it comes later. Okay, but let's not go off on that tangent for a moment. Let's come back to this. I love you in the moment. See what he's really saying is I have deep care for you. I really feel an affinity for you, but he didn't say it to just one woman. He said it to two women. And with respects to the third woman, he said to the camera, to the audience, I'm in love with Teresa. We have to examine that as well. So how do we know this is a mixed signal? Well later in the episode, he feels an incredible amount of remorse for sending one of the women home out of the three. He feels incredible remorse. He's tipping. He's hunched over. He feels like he's going to throw up, excuse me for slurping my coffee mug as hot and it says, don't make me go all psycho roommate on you. Most of you know, I have that capacity to go unhinged on a video. He feels remorse. Why does he feel remorse? Because he feels internally, he might have either misrepresented himself or it's possible he feels the pressure of this process of dating multiple people at the same time can have one person create feelings for you greater than the other person. And you don't want that person to feel like they're used. So this is an interesting dynamic that happens in relationships is regarding our feelings. Feelings. See, feelings aren't facts. Feelings are in the moment just like thoughts are in the moment. So the words I love you, we've established, most humans established that feels like a promise for the future or anything we say in the early stage of dating, even when we say we like someone. But isn't it fascinating how many people in the early stage of dating, they take off like a rocket and they crash and burn later. That's because something changed within that person. What changed? Well, they didn't really build a deep foundation in the early stages of the relationship. They didn't build a deep friendship that creates the deep roots of trust. So I want to go on a little different spin for a moment, and I'm going to come back to the idea of I love you. I'm falling in love with you and I'm in love with you. But I want to read to you a post that I did yesterday on my Facebook page. And it's, by the way, it's right here. Could chemistry or attraction merely be our soul's recognition of unhealed trauma coming to, it says coming to the surface, okay, coming to the surface? Could it be our unhealed wounds and trauma coming to the surface? If you're not familiar with the work of Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt, I highly recommend checking out the book, Getting the Love You Want, a couple's guide, there's no subtitle there. I thought there was a subtitle. So what this talks about is something known as the amago, I-M-A-G-O. Can someone put that in the chat box for me or write it in the comments? I highly recommend you do some research on this. We oftentimes choose partners because we have a healing going on needed in our lives with respects to a childhood wound or trauma. And by the way, trauma doesn't have to be, you know, being molested by a priest in the Catholic Church. Oh my God, I'm going to offend so many people that I said that. Although that is a significant trauma. Let me not be clear. Let me be clear. That's a horrific trauma. And I'm not laughing. I'm just laughing at myself. But I'm talking micro traumas that happen, mini traumas. Just being bullied in school is a trauma. Having our parents slap us because they didn't want us to touch fire. That's a trauma. Okay? So there's a variety of different traumas that happen in our childhood. And it could be that we choose people based on a need for healing. I've actually now reflected upon my most recent relationship. And I think we both came together to heal. We came together to heal. And I do believe that these can be karmic relationships, that can be transactional relationships, that there's a need for healing from our past and we choose partners based on this healing and we feel a tremendous amount of chemistry or attraction for them. Now, why do I say this? So I want to be candid with everyone. Actually a couple of days ago, I didn't have a date. I'll call it a friendship date. I met a woman who happens to live just a couple of miles from me. We had met on a dating app, I want to say five, six, seven, eight years ago. And we've developed a little bit of a friendship over the years. We're on Facebook together, on Instagram. We comment on each other's stuff and we just maintain the friendship. And she happens to be on a dating app that I just recently signed back up. And I saw her there. She saw me there. We talked on each other. We got together for a drink a couple nights ago. And because of this, there's a lot of familiarity. There's some connection there. And she said something interesting to me. She said, you know, Jonathan, we look good on paper. In other words, we are into the same spirituality. We're into the same personal development. We live near each other. We have flexible lifestyles. We're entrepreneurs. I mean, the list goes on and on how we look good on paper. And she's an attractive woman. This isn't an issue of physical attractiveness. She's an attractive woman. She's expressed that she believes I'm an attractive man. And yet there's something missing. And I've come to observe that, you know, there's this intangible that comes with love. There's an intangible that comes with connection. While we call it chemistry, while we call it attraction, it's an intangible. How you might feel about someone. And this is the critic. This is kind of the tough part about dating today because we have this almost grand expectation of immediate attraction for someone. But at the same time, I know this person and I feel a resistance. Could that be that I still have unhealed child and wounds and traumas? So I need another, you know, I don't want to say it was my last relationship was not chaotic, but many of you in your karmic relationships have a lot of chaotic relationships. In other words, you have a lot of friction and stuff like that. And we believe that that's love. Like the more friction and anxiety, the more that is represented by many people as believing that they're loved. And I'll be candid with you. I'm scratching my head at the same time. I do believe that there's a difference between a soul connection and a transactional connection. See, I think a soul connection is when your soul recognizes your soul in another. I don't want to call this twin flames or soulmates. I'm just saying that a soul partnership, if you will, a soul relationship is meant for growth and partnership. And this is so elusive because most of us are dancing in the transactional realm, mostly based on healing wounds and traumas in my estimation. Now, this is just something I invite you to ponder. Read many of the books I talk about. By the way, there's a link below to get all the books I recommend. Now, I want to share something with you, and I'm going to bring it back today. I love you in a moment. But this piggybacks on what I just said. A woman wrote me, I do believe you can see people differently after getting to know them. To such occurrences of mine, I met a woman through an organization. This is a woman wrote me. I met a woman through an organization I was involved with who was in my estimation, homely. But I'll tell you what I got to know once I got to know her. And to this day, I have to say, she is the loveliest person I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. And as if by magic, I never saw her as homely again. In fact, although she radiated beauty, similar thing with male that I always thought was hard on the eyes. But through circumstances, he helped me see. He helped me through a difficult time. And one day, he was wearing a white shirt. And I recall thinking he looked attractive. I couldn't believe it. My love language is acts of service. So I'm guessing by him helping me, it spurred a sense of being cared for. My point being, it's surprising how physical appearance can be secondary. See, OK, why did I bring this up? See, the challenge with dating today is oftentimes we make snap a judgment, snap expectations of person based on physical attractiveness. And as we get to know a person, we can actually maybe fall in love with them, maybe fall in love with them. But the same time, if it happens like that, could we easily fall out of love with them? Think about that. Is it possible that if you fell in love, you can fall out of love? See, I wonder if this is more complicated than we make it out to be. And everybody goes, why is it so complicated? It's because humans have very little understanding of their own selves. Is that right, their own selves? Themselves, excuse me, they have very little understanding of themselves. See, in many cases, most humans, and I've observed this in my coaching practice because women come to me all the time. Jonathan, I know what I want. I know what I want. I know what I want in a relationship. And they go through this proprietary coaching program I created. By the way, there's a link right here to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. There's a link below as well. Through a conversation, multiple conversations, I help women get clarity on who is aligned for them from a sole partnership perspective, who is aligned with them. And then what I invite everyone to do is learn radical honesty so you can ferret out those people that are stuck in a karmic need for healing versus those of you that are in a space of seeking growth and true partnership through what I call radical honesty, laying your cards on the table and pre-qualifying your prospect. Because I do believe we can love people just like Gary in The Bachelor. He says, I love you to Leslie and I love you, Faith. We can feel love, OK? We can feel genuine care. But I don't believe that's the same as in love because I say I love you to my children, but I don't want to have physical intimacy with them. See, I think when we're in love with someone, it means I'm here. You matter. We are important. I've got your back. I'm not going anywhere and I only want you. See, I think that's what in love is. And in love is an elusive thing. And what's interesting is we can begin to like someone early on in the dating process. We can like someone. We can be very fascinated and interested in them. But what's interesting that can happen is, like I had a woman write me. He goes, why is it after four months this guy who professed all this care for me changes my mind is because as I saw in the early stages of this conversation, feelings aren't facts. And we human have multiple thoughts throughout the day. Do you know humans have somewhere between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts a day? Thoughts aren't facts. They're just thoughts. Much of what I'm sharing with you is just merely my perspective in this particular arena, whether it's fact or not, whether it's truth or not. You have to assess that for yourself. If it resonates with you, then there's probably some truth to it for you. You know, if someone said the sky is blue, you know, that's the truth. The sky is blue. Well, on a cloudy day, is the sky blue? No, well, that just changed the circumstances. If you start traveling up into space, is the sky still blue? No, it's not. It turns black from what I understand in the absence of color. So it's all a matter of perspective. If I gave you a prism, OK, right now, and you looked at it, you would see multiple colors, even though you're looking into the same thing. Life is all about our perceptions. And in many cases, our projections. And what happens is when someone says, I love you, it could merely be a projection, not necessarily a promise for the future. And in the case of Gary and the Golden Bachelor, when he says, I love you in the moment, he's being he's trying to say, look, I'm not going to promise you the future. I just think in this moment, I care for you. And this is where it gets tricky. A lot of men will say, look, I've been honest with my feelings and you ladies will make projections based on that. You know, we can be very upfront. I don't want a relationship with you, but I have no problem having sex with you and you'll go, well, but I could change his mind in the future. So are you being used? Or are you going to take ownership in your life and say, hey, in this dating process, I am going to be a bit more pragmatic. I'm going to focus on alignment. I'm going to get to know who I am and connect with like-minded people. And if yes, we do have that electricity or chemistry, because that is an important component of a successful relationship along with shared values, shared vision, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. That's the recipe for what I believe is a sole partnership. And I invite you all to do the inner work, just like what I talk about in my book, what the heck is self love anyway, a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. Check out the link below. And once you've done the inner work, maybe, maybe you can attract that juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship in your life. And I'm going to invite a prayer for you all. God, universe, spirit, I invite those who are watching today to experience and to attract and experience a juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship where you have amazing chemistry with one another and it's mutual and you have equal passion for one another. And the communication between the two of you is off the charts in the banter and laughter can go on for hours and hours at a time. And you have both that inquisitive side of you to explore the nooks and crannies of a healthy, happy relationship through your communication. And you are compatible with one another because you have the capacity to blend your lives together in partnership with one another. And you share the same values and the same vision through your mutual understanding of trust, respect and honesty. And lastly, you build the deep roots of trust, the deep roots of trust through social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both in your personal and your professional life, intimacy. Both physical and emotional intimacy that leads to either moving in together or getting married, God, universe and spirit. I invite everyone who is watching this at this very moment to experience it. And so shall it be. Ah, hey, I'd like to hear your thoughts on all this. Post a comment below if this resonated with you. I'm going to do my best to read them all. And if it did resonate with you, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell so you can be notified of new videos as well. All right, it's time for Q&A, or if you want to join the hot seat, you can join the hot as well. It's time for Q&A. If you have a question, write the word question and post the question there after, or you can purchase a super sticker super chat. There's a little dollar sign in the chat box. And if you're watching the replay, you can hit the super. Thanks. All of the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right next to his brother, Colin. And in his honor, I donate to causes like the Hoffman process and Insight Institute, just to name a few. So again, you can if you have a question, write the word question. Our goal today is to get $50 for the Connor Asley scholarship fund. So make sure you make a donation today. And I'm going to hit the. OK, Sharon wants to say great prayer. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. OK, magic entertainers in the house, and she says, what do you think of a woman dating a man that is 23 years younger? Well, I guess it depends. Is she 100 years old and he's 77? Is she 70 years old and he's fifty fifty seven? No, wait, forty seven. Yeah. So let's take 70 years old and forty seven. Let's take 60 year old and dating thirty seven. OK, that's a twenty three year age gap. By the way, I want to thank Beach Lover for the five dollar super sticker. Thank you so much. We're forty five dollars away. So let's take 60 and forty seven. OK, is that right? No. Thirty seven. The challenge with dating a man that much younger is sometimes there's a lot of cultural reference differences. There's emotional. Well, no, emotional maturity, but I know thirty seven years old that can be very emotionally mature. I think Demi Moore's Ashton Kutcher was quite a bit younger. He seemed like no, I can't suppose what he was like. I think the challenge with dating someone if you're sixty and he's twenty thirty seven is he has a built in escape clause. See, you could be sixty looking like you're forty five or fifty. So the advantage to him is you probably are in the prime of your sex life. You want to have great sex. He doesn't have to worry about getting you pregnant versus dating women his own age and and you could be a lot more mature and a lot more fun. The challenges he has a built in escape clause, he'll say to you, most likely I've decided I want to have children and I'm going to meet someone else. So that's the dilemma you face with that substantial age difference. Now, unless you're a sugar mama in this particular case and there's a financial need, see in reverse, when a 60 year old man is with a younger woman, oftentimes it's a fine. There's a exchange going on. Remember, I said earlier about transactional relationships. So. Well, she says it's forty seven and twenty four. That's not a twenty. I thought you said a twenty three year age difference. Well, if I'm doing my math math, oh, I guess that would be twenty four. Oh, my God, that is right. My math is off. OK. Yeah, even that guy has I mean, in that particular case, he's OK. Here's what I want you to know about this age difference. He's a three year old adult. OK, let's just assume even though legally a person becomes an adult at 18, they've been raised by their parents for 18 years, OK, and raised by their parents. So by the time they're 19, they're really a one year old adult. But I think men mature much slower. So I'm going to take twenty one year old as a twenty two year old is the first year of adulthood at twenty two years old. So twenty two or twenty three, twenty four. He's a three year old adult. OK. He hasn't he probably has just started to take care of himself. He doesn't understand the complexities of life. He's had very little life experience. I don't care if he's an old soul or not, he doesn't know who he is yet. You need a good. I think men aren't ready for a serious marriage or a relationship until they turn about thirty five years old. They've had at least from 18 years old to at 18 will say 36 years old. They've had at least, you know, 15 to 18 years of adulthood in their lives. That's who I think is worth investing in. That's just my projection. OK, that's purely my projection. You can take from what he want. But let me tell you something. He has a built in exit clause with you. I decide I want to go find someone. So if you're OK with the short lived transactional relationship, have fun, enjoy it immensely. OK. Hey, I want to thank Sharon for the ten dollar super sticker way to go. So we are only thirty five dollars away from our goal today. Laura, Laura, Miss White is in the house. Personal question. Have you found anyone on dating sites that have a good connection with you that you want to go the distance? Oh, yeah, with my previous relationship, we met on a dating. Actually, my last two relationships, we both met on a dating site. The most significant one or the one that I had eleven years ago, I was in such a I was in such a train wreck place in my life. She helped repair it. Me, so that wasn't going to go the distance, but we're still dear friends to each other this day. In fact, I'll just share with everyone. She wrote a book. Where is her book? That's one of chatting or cheating. There's a picture of Dr. Sherry Meyers right there. It's an older picture. OK. But she wrote a book called Chatting or Cheating. In fact, she acknowledges me in her book. I was literally with her from the beginning that she wrote it. She said, Jonathan, this is her acknowledgement to me. Jonathan Asley, who lovingly encouraged, pushed and unconditionally supported me through every step of the process writing this book. Thank you for shining your beautiful heartlight, holding down the emotional for it and continually believing me. You showed me firsthand what it means to live the words. I'm here, you matter, we are important. OK, so I met her online while we weren't meant to go the distance. I met her online, but I certainly was. I was not in the best emotional state of being. So by the time I met Marie a couple years ago, I was in a place to go all to go all in to go the distance. The same time I recognize now in retrospect, we were a karmic relationship that needed to I had more healing that needed to be done. So I want to reference many of you know that I kind of have a woo woo belief system. I believe in a variety of different what we call woo woo things. Spiritual things. So I believe time is an illusion. I also believe that life is much like the movie Groundhog Day. And in the movie Groundhog Day, he experiences the same day over and over and over and over and over again. In fact, some people speculate it was 30 years he experienced. There's other people that speculate it was 30,000 years he experienced. But what if life is like Groundhog Day? What if we go back and do this again? The exact same way with more knowledge, with more downloads from our higher self, from our spiritual self? What if that's what this is all about? So I suspect that all of these experiences, particularly with Marie and I was another healing I need to have for my next lifetime. OK, now I know a lot of the Christian and biblical people will get up frown upon what I'm just saying. This is just merely a speculation. It's a fun thought to have. It's a thought experiment. OK, that why I'm sharing this with you is that I do believe that whether I meet someone in the future, you know, through a dating app, Internet connection like Facebook or Instagram. A lot of people meet through Facebook and Instagram, whether I meet them in real life at a workshop, at a meetup group, at some art festival, at a at a farmer's market and whatever it is, I am very clear. OK, this is what I want to bring to the table here. There are three people actively dating, three types of people actively dating. By the way, this is not a fact. It's merely an opinion. I call them users, spenders and grower builders. Now users, this is roughly 20 percent of the population. They are in it for themselves. It's they're seeking their own self gratification. These are love bombers, players, gold diggers and entitled women, selfish people only caring about their own needs. That's roughly about 20 percent of the population. Well, I do believe 20 percent of the population are grower and builders. Grower builders seek long term commitment. They're emotionally grown up with good relationship skills. They have their act together. Most everybody is what I call a spender. They want companionship, connection and sex. But they have a dysfunctional life. They're fearful of commitment. They have a dysfunctional life. They're fearful of commitment. That's roughly 60 percent of the population. So 80 percent are either users or spenders. This is what makes, by the way, this is true for women as well. I know you all think you're the exception. But you women are just as dysfunctional as men. So anyway, I went off on a tangent. But I do believe that there is a sole partnership out there for me. OK, so I'm coming back and answering that question. By the way, what does anybody think about my Groundhog Day perception? I think time is an illusion, so it all happens in the day type of thing. Let's keep going. Jonathan, this is undoubtedly the best ever summation of relationships that I've ever heard. Thank you so much. Well, I appreciate that. OK, Sebastian says, I believe women never mature. I believe most humans are dysfunctional, so I can relate to where you might think that's true of women. But let me just tell you something. You men are no effing picnic either. A lot of you guys are just as equally as dysfunctional as women. It is a no one holds the candle to that. Worker, do you offer advice on how to unstuck? I think awareness is 80 percent of it. Being aware of what is causing you to be stuck. Now, here's the thing. A lot of times people get stuck and they do this. They point the finger at the other person. They're not point. They're not looking at these three fingers going. How am I contributing to this space of being stuck? So I do believe that to get unstuck is to first have the awareness of how is this me? 80 percent of it is recognizing how is this me? OK. Let's keep going. Why do people ghost? I think it is so rude and disrespectful. I know someone said it's always been a thing. But why do people take this approach? It would be interesting. No reason. And it used to be back in the day, you'd meet a girl at a bar and you'd ask for a number and she'd give you a false number. You know, that's rude and disrespectful. You know, but in that moment, she's like, look, I just want to get this person off my back and we don't fault the woman for that. OK, so what is ghosting? First, let me tell you what ghosting is. You've gone on a first date with a woman. You said you like the person you call them again and you don't call them again. That's not ghosting. That's called changing your mind. OK, that's not ghosting. Ghosting is if you're in a relationship where you're physically intimate with one another, the penis has gone inside the vagina, at least more than once. OK, well, technically it goes in and out, but there's been over a course of more than one day. OK, and then you never call that person. That's ghosting. When you change your mind about asking someone on a date, I always invite you ladies to go, did you ask him out on a date? Did you ask him out on a date? See, in many cases, you're always See, in many cases, you're all like, but Jonathan, I'm just supposed to sit my feminine energy and the man is supposed to do all the work and the work and the work and the work and he's supposed to do everything. Well, you know, when you give your power to a man, when you make the relationship, you know, path all at his beck and call, then you have to accept the consequences. You have you can ask a guy, hey, haven't heard from him a couple of days. Hey, I've just been thinking about you. I'd like to take you out for a drink. You know, tomorrow night, are you free? You know, it would five or seven work for you. And then it creates an opportunity for him to come back and say, hey, I've reflected upon the relationship. I think you're a wonderful woman, but I'm not interested anymore. Okay, boom, closure. But did you make the effort to ask him out? So why do people do it? Why do people avoid, because avoiding conflict, you know, there's this saying, health have no fury like a woman's scorn. We fear your, you know, irrational, you know, outbursts that could come out when we say, I'm just not that into you anymore. I'm gonna tell you a quick story that happened to me. This was about maybe eight, 10 years ago. A woman wrote me on match.com. She wrote me a nice message, hey, we're local. I think you have a great profile. I'd really like to meet you. I read her profile and went for a jog that morning. Okay, and I read it and I'm like, I'm not gonna be interested. And I have a very cut and paste, thank you, no thank you kind of email I send because I think it takes a lot of courage for a woman to reach out. But I looked at her profile. When I came back home an hour and a half later, there was this scathing message. I can't believe you've rejected me. You are such a disingenuous, jerk and asshole of a person. Well, she had saw that I read her message and I didn't respond. And she went from saying, you have the most amazing profile on the planet. I think we're a soul connection yadda yadda yadda yadda to you are a despicable human being, okay? Now, most likely she has borderline personality disorder. I didn't acknowledge her because I went for a jog. She had no patience. She's very self-centric in this moment. But we don't know who you are. So men fear the wrath of women. And by the way, you ladies have had the same experience from men who have turned on a dime with you. So this isn't singular to one gender. I'm just telling you, this is some of the reasons why. Rather than judging it, I just want you to draw attention to that these things can happen. Okay. Laurie says, what are your thoughts on e-harmony? E-harmony is a spoke on the wheel. Actually, my ex-girlfriend's Marie's son met his wife on e-harmony and they've been together for I think 13 years now. No, longer than that. And they have two children. So to spoke in the wheel, is it the best? I think match.com is the biggest. So match, I would say definitely be on match.com. You know, try the dating apps, the swipe apps, but certainly match.com is the best. I also like millionaire match. I've just met some really nice women on millionaire match. I know the name of the site suggests financial resources, but hey, why not date someone who has the ability to pay their bills? That's the way I look at it versus plenty of fish where you have every broke person on the planet on plenty of fish. That's a judgment on my part. No disrespect, but I think millionaire match because of the cost too, it's $70 a month. Oh my God, Jonathan, that's way too much money. $70 a month to invest in your love life is a pittance for anyone that has issues with that. Anna says, I believe what you said about reincarnation are soul's connection and soul contract, exactly. Power of chi wants to say ghosting is a gift. Rejection is God's protection. We don't need protecting, but I get the point. Worker girl says, if you meet someone several times, they don't contact you, you don't contact them. What is that called? You don't need to name it. Why do we need to name it? They lost interest. That's all it is. I meet a barista at a coffee shop. We exchange a brief conversation. Does that mean anything? It's just a nice, you had a nice experience. You have to come back and say, what is it I seek? And find people who are aligned to me in my values. Stormy will say, I will never understand dating websites. Yeah, when you understand them, you can have better experiences. That's what I teach. Lori wants to tell everyone, she didn't even give you a chance. Oh my God. But my point is, do you see how women, we men fear you women, you can go unhinged tonight. You didn't even give me a chance. Lori wants to come on and say, what do you think about silver single dating site for people over 50? Again, a spoke in the wheel. Try every spoke in the wheel. Just because, you know, the thing is, because of all these sites, you might have to invest a couple hundred dollars a month in your search for love, but that's nothing. Gosh, you ladies will spend upwards of hundreds of dollars a pair of shoes. You know, Manola Blanco's started a couple thousand dollars, so sell something in your closet and pay for dating sites. It has more, you know, potential for relationship success for you. Let's keep going. My computer's freezing up a little bit. Okay. I'm so sorry about this. Must be an internet connection issue. Looks like I have an internet connection issue. Folks, I'm sorry. I have an internet connection issue. Stormy says, I feel in modern advanced society we feel sometimes we have to result to drastic measures like dating website. John, there is just not my style. Sorry, I understand. Okay, again, I merely see them as a spoke in the wheel to look at. You can't listen. To be asked on a date, you have to be seen. You have to be seen to be asked out. You have to either you're actively mingling with people on a regular basis or dating sites allow for kind of a virtual way to do that. It's just a virtual way to mingle with people. But I mean, you don't have to do it, but just recognize if you want to be asked out on a date, you have to be seen by somebody. I work from home. Nobody sees me other than through this portal. Thankfully, I have millions of views each month so it might create an opportunity. Oh, by the way, I do want to thank many of you who have reached out to me personally and have dropped the hanky. I genuinely appreciate it. And to the extent that I've had to return the hanky back, meaning I just don't feel an alignment, there is no ill will when someone says I'm not interested. It just means that there wasn't affinity. I started this conversation. Think about how challenging it is when you do meet someone where you have an affinity for them to really, you know, my son said something to me a couple of years ago. He dated a woman briefly for five or six months. And the third month, and he liked this person, he was physically attracted to her. And they were building a friendship. They started to do social activities, hobbies, mutual interests. And the third month in, he said, Dad, I'm not feeling it with her. I said, you know, give it a little more time. And two months later, he ended the relationship. You know, I said this in the beginning of this broadcast. Love is an intangible. It is such an intangible. Now, I get, you know, we need to give people a chance, right? To get to know them. Well, I think at first starts by that you feel some level of affinity for a person. And keep in mind when you're meeting total strangers it can be overwhelming with the dating sites. I get it with this mass amount of people out there. It is very confusing on the human psyche. So ultimately you just have to go with your gut in many cases. What does your gut say? My coach, Sabrina and I were just talking about this yesterday when I said, hey, I've met this woman. We look great on paper. But sometimes there's this knowing inside of you that spiritual side of you that says that's not the one. And you kind of, at least I believe if you are on track from a spiritual emotional perspective to seek people that are like-minded where you have an affinity for them, okay? And again, it's not like in this particular case I shared before, you know, there's been multiple meetings it just hasn't happened. This wasn't the first meeting and that didn't happen. This has been multiple meetings. And sometimes we can sometimes our feelings change as we get to know someone, we can like them more. And sometimes we can like them less when we, that's the thing folks, do you realize that after you get to know someone, you can find how misaligned you are with a person and you're honoring your truth by saying, I'm releasing you to go find somebody who is more aligned with you for those that are seeking soul partnerships anyway, okay, versus those seeking transactional relationships. Okay, let's keep going. Oh, by the way, Magic Entertainer says if I put all my shoes together, maybe if I put all my, if I, maybe all of my shoes put together are $1,000, but not just one pair, I guess I could go sell them all. Do you need all those pairs of shoes? By the way, I know lots of women that have $1,000 pair of shoes. That's where I was just going with that. Sierra says, any relationship advice if one person has close knit wealthy family and the other has a dysfunctional, not wealthy family. Well, I'm not really sure what the problem is. So I guess what is the concern? I mean, I understand, you know, like what advice? So when it comes to advice, giving blanket advice is one thing. I mean, certainly I could give some blanket advice, but this deserves maybe going down some more nooks and crannies. Now throughout olden times, you know, marriages were a combination of two families put together and they chose families with one family that had wealth and the other had family and wealth so they can build greater wealth. This is an olden times. And to some degree that exists today as well. When you think of maybe, I don't know, the Rockefellers or the Vanderbilt or whatever. I'm just speculating here. So from that perspective, you know, ultimately I want to look at the couple and what is their vision for their relationship and how does finances play within that vision? I'd want to go deeper. See really, folks, I invite everyone to go deeper than the surface when assessing something. Ask those deeper question. That's where, you know, dating today is how's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. It's such surface level conversations. Why not go a bit deeper? I just want to really go deeper if I was going to answer that question. Attraction, feelings, love, relationship, didn't meant 20 some years younger or 20 some years older, anything else in between. Again, attraction, feelings, relationships. Do they happen naturally? Do they happen naturally? I guess everything happens naturally to some degree. Everything is about nature. I don't know if something, well, I guess things can be manipulated and curated. Okay, feeling, like so think of neuro-linguistic programming. That is a technique to manipulate people into do. Oh, no, let me reframe that. That's not a technique. Using techniques from neuro-linguistic programming can manipulate people into certain feelings. So I do believe that there is, for example, negging, negging if you've heard the term negging. And if anyone wants to look it up, go on Google type in negging, N-E-G-G-I-N-G. This is where you intentionally criticize someone that causes them to devalue themselves. And then they want to, and I'm just giving you the Cliff node version of this. And then they try to prove themselves to the other person. Is that naturally? Well, yes, that is naturally, but maybe it is manipulated. I'm just speculating here to come back to your question that feelings happen naturally. But then everything is nature, right? Let's see, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Does anyone have a question? Write the word question or post the question thereafter. Or please purchase the Super Sticker Super Chat and a little dollar sign. All the monies from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right there in his honor. We donate to various different causes. Let's see, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Deborah Locke wants to say, I wonder if there's too much focus on feelings if you're like-minded spiritually in love attachment styles physically. Lifestyles, values, mutual interests are not offended by bad habits. To some degree, we are all ruled by our feelings. Does it feel good? It's really about does it feel good? Does it not feel good to some degree? Why do people go buy an expensive car? Because it makes them feel like a sports car. It makes them feel good. The challenge though is it only makes them feel good temporarily, but now they have this asset sitting in their garage, okay? Where I have learned, okay, so happiness. I learned this at the University of Santa Monica while I was considering getting a master's in spiritual psychology. And he drew a line, so here, let me just do it. It's an upside down T, okay? So does everyone see this upside down T? Now here on this side, please forgive it, is where you're at. And this is where you'd like to be at. So I drive a Hyundai, but I'd like to drive a Ferrari, okay? Well, here you are at Hyundai, but you get your Ferrari. See, these lines are called the happiness lines, okay? So just because we get something, we might temporarily might feel happy, but we go back to here, okay? This line of happiness usually occurs, this is what was explained to me in spiritual psychology, is happiness occurs on a vertical line when we are in a state of loving, when we're in a state of loving or we're in a state of learning. Do you know what? We humans, when we learn something new and we go, ah, we feel like we learn something new, we actually feel happy. So for those that are sapiosexuals like myself, people that have an inquisitive mind, I get off on learning new things every day. And very few people spend time growing. So remember I talked about soul relationships, soul partnerships are about growing together. It's not about healing, it's about growing. Now, within the growth, you can heal, you know, to some degree, you're always healing to some degree, but you're growing as an individual. What does growth mean? Growth looks like where you take negative patterns, limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, and you grow past it. You start to feel the core root, and then you grow beyond that. That's just my interpretation. You're sorry that the internet connection, spiritual partnership by Gary Zukoff, okay? Let's keep going. Debra wants to say, I hear you, Esther Hicks says only do what feels good. You know, to the extent that I have to be careful, because if you're feel, if what feels good is you wanna, you know, you want to have sex with someone and you have an STD, are you doing it for your own selfish need? So I also believe, you know, do things that are in alignment with your desires and your needs and your wants, but at not never at the expense of somebody else, okay? I just wanna add that to that equation. So, you know, folks, it looks like we have an internet problem that's causing it to freeze up. So I think this would be a great place to wrap up today. Today was fun. Thank you so much for allowing me to jump in. Talking about mixed signals men do that make you feel like you're used. I think the reality is, is we can all feel like we're used when the relationship doesn't go our way, unmet expectations. And sometimes humans unintentionally say things, not to hurt someone or make them feel used. It's just this thing called life is complex. This thing called life is, is, you know, is, well, I've come back to complex. It's riddled with all these nooks and crannies of learning. And so when we learn about ourselves and we really honor ourselves first and foremost, that's why I'm a big proponent of doing personal development, self-help and spiritual work, we are less likely going to be disingenuous to other people. And this is why, sadly, hurt people hurt people. In other words, those that are have been hurt and unhealed, they tend to hurt people because they're not in integrity with themselves. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know if it is. Post a comment below. I'd like to hear all your thoughts. Okay. If you found value in this video, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell as well. And we're gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love. Please excuse the bit stains. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow, and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And I wanna thank Roller Girl for the $1.99 super sticker. And we can all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Stormy and Roller Girl and Sharon and Beach Lover and Debra and Hillary and Lori and Sweet Chick and Caprance and the magic entertainer and the power of Chi and Wanda and Hillary. Let's see who else is in the house. All right, folks, have a fab evening. Their day, take care, bye now.