 Today's episode is sponsored by Squarespace. I didn't sleep much last night. Nightmares of high-large format film prices, light leaks, Newton rings, and slightly out-of-focus compositions tear through my subconscious like a cult leader handing out Kool-Aid. I wake up sweaty and trembling. My Guatemalan river cat Baxter comforts me, but it's only temporary and he's only doing it because he wants to go on a walk in the park so he can take a massive horse dump and then watch me pick it up. Things echo throughout my head of a comment section where faceless souls scream at me from some dark distant void begging for another offering of 8x10. They demand I be sent back in, back into the jungles of large format. Am I ready? It doesn't matter. There's a job to do and I have to believe I won't f*** at my pants this time. I head up river to the first stop. A fishing vessel ran aground, sinking. The perfect analogy for the sinking feeling I'm getting in my lower abdomen. Aw damn it, think I need to take a s*** again. Why does this keep happening while I'm filming? I set up the 8x10. The wind is calm and I'm basking in a bout of post-dump clarity with this beast of a format. But that surely won't stop me from f***ing up the composition. This is what sets 8x10 apart, why the photos are so different. I have to pre-visualize my compositions. 8x10 is too damn expensive to not have a plan of attack. Black and white is the obvious choice. There's no color. There's no joy here. But the 8x10 demands a sacrifice, hitting the brakes to find painstaking perfection when shooting. But if you do everything right and with a little bit of mercy from her analog overlords, your bounty will be worth it. You'll get a massive negative with more detail than you could ever need. You know, if you scan it right. But an ancient enemy lurks in the depths of the jungle, waiting to f*** your s*** it up. The camera hums to me like a machine. Wait, there aren't any electronics in this thing, why is it doing that? I forgot my light meter. I usually sleep with it under my pillow, one hand gripping it at all times. It's the only way I can fall asleep. Perhaps I'm not ready for this journey after all. It's too late though. I line up my composition as the sun sets, casting golden light onto the subject at the perfect angle. I decide to shoot Ilford HP5. The grain calls my name like the wind calls the wolves. I'm becoming more comfortable composing on 8x10, but I still have a long road ahead of me. I want to do a long exposure with a 10 stop ND, but the filter size on this goddamn lens is 130mm, whose bright idea was that? Scan is pure A1 steak sauce, but the shot just looks okay. Boy, howdy did I f*** it up by not panning the camera slightly screen right to capture more of the shore. The jungle is getting to me already, I can't be making these mistakes. I must head further upriver, music by the door starts ringing through my head. I know I must face what's at the end, but I don't know if I'm ready. The transformation is happening already. Like an ugly caterpillar who cocoons up so that it can sh**t out all of its innards and morph into a gorgeous butterfly, I should narrate for National Geographic. Another subject, another fishing boat ran aground. I need to make my move now, I set up the 8x10 as the light shines elegantly upon the subject and my rat mullet. I can't handle the pressure, it's getting to me. It's not a real cigarette by the way, smoking is bad for you, unless you're smoking meats. In which case, invite me over, that sounds like a good time. A lot of people ask me why 8x10, and by a lot of people I mean no one. Because I'm limited to one or two sheets, I take my time and use my last six brain cells to perfect the composition. Isn't that format kinda hard to shoot? I've been through a lot of hardships in my life. 8x10 is not the hardest thing I've done. I once ate so much bread I didn't sh** for two and a half weeks, so maybe next time you'll save your judgement for when you've walked a mile in my size 6 helis. All I have is the 360mm, equivalent to a 47mm lens. It's not ideal for me, but I'll make it work. Nothing is ideal in the jungle. HP5 is the perfect stock to use. The contrast is beaming, the grain is everything. At the end of this road I fear that I'm becoming the very thing I set out to make fun of. I think I'm becoming a large format photographer through and through. When you get it wrong, it's a hulk punch to the d**k. But when you get it right, it's better than the rush you'd get from being so high on PCP you slam your fist through a cop car window and escape naked out the back seat. Am I still the same person I was when I left? I'm scared Monica won't recognize me. I'm scared Baxter will kick my a** out of the apartment for good. I need to prove to him that I'm not the laughing stock of the film community, with an impressive online portfolio of my work. And the best way for me to do that is through today's sponsor, Squarespace. Squarespace is the easiest and most intuitive way to craft an online photography portfolio if you're like me and in a pinch because you need to impress your dog. They offer hundreds of template options, with my personal favorite being the Welles template. Squarespace features the ability to swap templates before going live, so you can play around with different looks, styles, and layouts before you ultimately decide on your favorite. Laying out a clean and professional looking portfolio of any kind has never been easier. I recently renovated my photography website and as someone who has no website building experience, the process in its entirety was very intuitive and straightforward because the interface requires no plugins, patches, or downloads to get cruising. Plus, Squarespace offers 24-7 live customer support, so what are you waiting for? If you're ready to build a website, you can start a free trial today at squarespace.com slash grainydays. And if you use the code grainydays at checkout, you can get 10% off your first purchase. I think you get as much out of large format as you put into it. With this shot, I took my time and tried my best to imitate a good, well-respected photographer. And voila, I think this is one of my best compositions to date. The exposure and lighting is nice, and the quarter angle is perfect. And best of all, Newton and his gang of rings are nowhere to be seen in the scan. Cowards. It's time to go home and show Monica what I've been working on. So what'd you think of the video? Definitely your worst one yet.