 Hey everyone! This is Victoria English, top coach with Project 90. I am hijacking James's podcast again. I've had a lot on my mind lately and a big topic that's coming up so often in my coaching is socializing while being alcohol-free. It's such a big one and especially now in 2021, the summer of 2021. I love the sound of that and I also love that we are finally, finally getting to see our friends, our family, getting to have those summer cookouts and barbecues and beach time, mountain time, all the stuff that we love about summer. The kids are out of school, things just feel a little more laid back, feels good, right? Especially after what we all went through collectively worldwide. It was a lot. And boy, our members are feeling so great whether they're on day 7, 27, 67, or 87. They are enjoying life in such a new and exciting way. But one question keeps coming up. I've got a wedding to go to. I'm going to a barbecue, we're having a block party, going on a hiking trip, a rafting trip. All these things that we love to do, how in the world do I do it without alcohol, Victoria? Oh my gosh. Before COVID, I was drinking, I was doing all these things and alcohol was involved. Well, the truth is when we go alcohol free, the world doesn't. And it can be a little intimidating. I totally get it. I have been right there. Boy, I remember going into some situations, especially with my old drinking buddies and thinking, how are we going to do this? What are they going to say? Are they going to try to push alcohol on me? What do I do if they do? Oh my gosh. Are they going to think I'm boring? Am I boring? Maybe I'm boring. Maybe I'm just not fun anymore. So many thoughts, so much chatter in my head. These are normal thoughts to have. I totally remember. But let's go back to when we were drinking alcohol in all these social situations. How did it work out? Did it work out great? Well, if you're listening to this, chances are it didn't work out as great as we would have hoped. I know it didn't for me. You know, if you're anything like me, the beginning was fun, right? You walk in, you see everyone, everyone's clink, clink, pour in a drink, then another drink. Fun. Everyone's having a great time. Sometimes as the night went on, it wasn't quite as fun. Not for me. Not for the people I was with. Because what happens after that first 30 minutes to an hour of feeling great? Well, people get a little loud. Maybe they get moody. Maybe they get sloppy. Maybe they repeat themselves. How many times have you met someone when you're drinking that you've met before and you reintroduce yourself? I've done that. Or you repeat a story that people have probably heard, or maybe those high heels get so uncomfortable that you just take them off and you're walking around in your nice dress without shoes. Not a cute look. I did all those things. In fact, there's probably nothing that you guys listening could say or do when drinking that I haven't either done myself or observed. So we're just getting real here, right? Now, it's kind of funny to look back on those stories and laughs, but it's also kind of sad. Because what are we really looking for when we are socializing? What is the hope? What intentions do we have? Is it to get drunk and sloppy and loud and moody and argumentative or obnoxious? No. Is it to wake up the next day with a throbbing headache in a dry mouth and a sick stomach with possibly all sorts of junk food wrappers around or remembering that you ate those nachos when you were trying to watch your carbs? No. Is that what they show us in the advertising? No. They don't want to talk about that side of it. They want to make it look wonderful and beautiful. But what are we really looking for? We're looking for connection. We're looking for humor. We're looking for laughter. How about some good music, maybe dancing, some good jokes, some good stories, making memories, making things that we can look back in the future and go, man, that was a good time. Remember that cookout after COVID when we hadn't seen each other in over a year? Remember how much fun that was going out on the lake in the boat? Remember that beautiful hike we took? That's what we're looking for. Remember that concert? All that band was amazing. We're looking for good times. The message we are sold throughout our lifetime is that alcohol is necessary to have a good time. I've realized that's not true. What's necessary, again, is friendship, connection, laughter, humor, all those good things. So how do we get to the other side? Well, here's something I do with our members. We just did this on a call the other day. I had them visualize getting ready for an event. I had them pick out their outfit. What perfume or cologne are you going to use? What kind of lotion? How are you doing your hair? What kind of accessories are you wearing? How do your clothes feel? By the way, they were all visualizing that their clothes feel a lot better because their waist's are shrinking and their clothes look better also because their wallets are growing because they're not spending money on alcohol. So they could afford that great outfit. Anyway, I digress. I then had them approach the party and they walk in and they show up with a great attitude about being alcohol free. When I'm coaching members, I say, look, a lot of it is how you show up. If you show up and say, I can't drink. Yeah, I wish I could drink. I can't. What are your friends going to do? Well, if they're your friends, they're going to try to make you feel better and say, well, geez, man, just have a couple of drinks. And then maybe you do. Except is it a couple? Instead, what if you show up feeling like, hey, I am doing something really positive for myself? This is better for my health. This is better for my finances. This is better for my relationships. This is better for my self-esteem. Now you don't have to share all that. But what if you show up feeling amazing about getting a soda water? What if you're like, you know what? Now I'm good today. I'm just going to have seltzer. But thanks. You don't have to convert anyone. You don't even have to tell them why. You can just say, I'm not drinking today, but thank you. Can I get an extra lemon for my seltzer? And then observe what you're looking for at that social event. And it takes me back to what I said. Connection, friendship, laughter, humor, stories, making memories, memories that you remember. That is a whole mindset shift that completely transforms the way that these members show up at these events. I then go a step further and I say, and now you're going home from the social event. How do you feel? What do you do when you get home? And they go through and they think, wow, I drive myself home because I can. I'm fully conscious of what I'm doing is I go in and brush my teeth, put on my pajamas, and climb into my comfortable, safe, cozy bed. If you're anything like me, the evenings didn't always end that way. They weren't that neatly tied up. Maybe a little sloppy, falling asleep with makeup on, my contact lenses in. And then I say, and how, tell me about the next morning when you wake up. Now think about waking up after a night of drinking at a social event. We all know what that looks like. We all know what that feels like. We know it all too well. Alcohol dims us down and it's predictable. We know how we're going to feel the next day. Again, I talk a lot about curiosity. Imagine if you can, maybe you can't, but this is where the coaching comes in. Imagine being able to visualize that morning after when you wake up remembering everything, knowing exactly with whom you spoke, knowing exactly what you talked about. You wake up in your pajamas, your face is clean, your teeth are brushed, your head doesn't throb, your stomach isn't sour. You know exactly what happened because you made the choices, not alcohol. That is a priceless feeling. And you know what it translates into? Optimism, hope, possibility. So as part of Project 90, you get to come at me with all of these questions. How do I socialize without alcohol? And I'm not going to say, just do it. Alcohol is terrible for you. You shouldn't even be drinking it. Why would you even want to? No way because it's a valid question. I was there. I was right where you are. And that's why I'm so passionate about what I do because I get it. I have been there and I wouldn't do what I do if it wasn't worth it. I can guarantee that. So if you're curious and you want to learn more about what we do over here in Project 90, please email me victoria at alcoholfreelifestyle.com. If you'd like to download James's free guide to quitting alcohol, you can do that at alcoholfreelifestyle.com. And if you want to learn more about Project 90, look it up at alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash project 90. Thanks for tuning in. And until next time, have a wonderful day. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. I want to load you up with some free stuff. If you look in the show description, there's a link there to get my guide, which is the Alcohol Freedom Formula Guide. And in that guide, I will walk you through the process and system for successfully reducing or quitting alcohol. It's the same system and process that I give to my clients inside of Project 90. And if you would like to get your hands on that guide, you can click the link in the description part of this episode, or you can go to alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash guide. Likewise, if you would like to be considered for Project 90 to join our community and get some accountability, coaching and have fun, achieve some goals over at least 90 days with our help and support, then you're invited to schedule a complimentary coaching call with one of my coaches. You can do that by clicking the link in the show description or going to alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash schedule. Now Project 90 is for over 30s only. And it's really for people who are ready to get long term power over alcohol. You don't have to quit forever, but you will have to quit for at least 90 days with our support. Just a reminder, 95% of my content is free and plastered all over the internet. If you just Google James Swannick and the word alcohol, you'll find that. For those of you who want additional support, if you want coaching, fun, accountability, if you realize that you can't do this on your own or you just plain don't want to, then I invite you to schedule that call and we can talk about if Project 90 is for you. If you would like to take some of my supplements, swanvitality.com is the website. I'll put a link in the show notes as well. I have a liver support product called Loving Liver, which I designed and specially formulated to help remove toxins from your liver after years of alcohol consumption. Again, there's a link in the show description. We've also got a green powder there, which turns into a green juice filled with amazing ingredients to support you and give you energy throughout the day. And there's also a magnesium product, which I take every night to help me prepare for sleep and to sleep through the night. So there's a few options there. Lastly, if this episode or the show in general has helped you or supported you in any way, I would so appreciate it if you would write a review. It really does help the show climb the rankings and expose the show to people who don't yet know about us. So if this show has benefited you in any way and you feel compelled to pay it forward, just writing a short little review, hopefully a nice one, will be so appreciated and I will thank you immensely. Lastly, if you'd like to talk to me about anything at all, feel free to send me an email at James at alcoholfreelaststyle.com. I do read and respond to every email. And you can also follow me on Instagram at at James Swannock, send me a message there. And I look forward to connecting with you soon. Catch you on the next one.