 The following is a short video clip from my private group called Midlife Love Mastery. If you're interested in joining, check out the link below to my VIP group called Midlife Love Mastery and take it away, Jonathan. Well, hello, Midlife Love Mastery members. I'm your host, Jonathan Asley, and I'm so excited to be doing this short video for you today. It's a morning cup of Jonathan. There's some irony in this mug. Don't make me go all psycho roommate on you. Don't make me go all psycho roommate on you. On our topic, my reaction to the Will Smith Chris Rock slap that's heard around the world is this toxic masculinity. So I'll be candid with you. For those who don't know the backstory on this, and most of you do, I'm sure, is that during the Oscars, Chris Rock made a joke regarding Will Smith's wife, Jada Pinkett, and at first, Will Smith kind of laughed at it, and then about 10 seconds later, he gets up, smacks Chris Rock, and then there's some cursing that goes on afterwards as if that he was defending his wife's honor. And when I first saw this, my reaction was, this is staged. This was just all for the Oscars because the Oscars ratings are ridiculously low right now. Certainly I know I have a feeling why, but let's not get into that point. So and then as the days went on, and I believe it's been now a couple of days since, there's been a lot of conversation that this was not staged, this was real, and this could have direct harm on Will Smith and the repercussions and certainly Chris Rock's reaction. And so I wanted to share with you my thoughts and my perceptions, my opinions on this because I will say, let's first off, that during the speech, it turns out that Will Smith won the Oscar during the speech, he did acknowledge his behavior and apologized to those in the room. He didn't specifically apologize to Chris Rock. And then a day later, I believe it was, that he did a formal apology to Chris Rock and Chris Rock didn't press charges. So what really happened here? Why did this happen? And you know, I don't really, I can't really know the particulars behind from what I understand there's a beef that goes on between Chris Rock and Jada Pinkett and Will Smith that's for years and maybe this has been coming. There's also the speculation that Will Smith is rather intimidated by his wife and when her reaction was rather negative, he felt that he needed to stand up for her honor. And yet ultimately his actions were one of what is now being characterized as toxic masculinity. So I wanted to lean into this because I think about, you know, the hard part in all this is when we're in the moment, when we're heated in the moment, it's not uncommon to behave out of character for someone, for within oneself. And this is true for every human being. I have acted, I recently got very defensive with somebody over an issue because I felt like I was going to be shortchanged on someone. My actions were, my anger level was rather high and I didn't do anything violent like hit someone but my tone of voice, my frustration, my anger was rather high and I wasn't managing my emotions in that moment. And then literally within about two minutes I recognized what had happened and I calmed down and then I apologized for what I had done. So this is a very human thing, whether a man or woman, I mean, because women can get angry as well, women, this isn't singular to men, you know, and I don't like the narrative that this is toxic masculinity. To me, toxic masculinity is a continuation of regular abuse to either one person or a group of people. To me, that's true toxicity versus a momentary lapse of judgment, which I think is what happened in this particular case. Now, should he have some consequences over this? You know, do I think he deserves to lose his Oscar? Heck no, I don't believe that's, does he deserve some sort of punishment? I don't know. I think he's being punished plenty enough on social media and I suspect this will have emotional repercussions for him that actually is going to be worse than what actually happened. Now, and quite frankly, from a spiritual perspective, you know, the thing is there's so much blame and there's so much singling out a person for a lapse in judgment, a bad behavior. Was anyone seriously hurt? Not really. You know, Chris Rock, I'm sure he shrugged it off, but he could have filed a report with the police. There could have been some sort of legal repercussions for this and certainly Chris Rock could even sue Will Smith because the only person that was actually hurt in this particular case was Chris Rock himself. So, I mean, now was everyone else affected by this? Absolutely. But that's called being part of life. You know, this whole thing about, you know, when I was growing, I'm speaking rather fast right now. When I was growing up, it was sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt you. Now, it's, and I'm not to suggest that words can't cut and words can hurt. And certainly he did physically hit him. And was he provoked? Maybe a little bit. Certainly his wife certainly felt offended by it. And this is the tricky part because where are we going to draw the line on and certainly we could call it humor, but where are we going to draw the line of like, look at, we can get triggered by things. Yes, we may react based on triggered by things. Yes, but where is the compassion in all this? That's my real invitation for everyone. Where is the, let's listen, I'm not absolving Will Smith of his behavior by no means am I absolving him his behavior. But at the same time, if we want to make a change in the world, how about we shift the narrative of blaming, criticizing and even, you know, putting someone down rather than trying to lift them up. That's my invitation for everyone. You know, we have a choice. We can, and that, by the way, I am never absolving bad behavior. I'm also here to suggest that compassion and I love how a lot of religious people claim to be compassionate and yet that at the same time, they'll crucify someone and I'm sorry to point out religious people, but, you know, don't, I'm tired of hypocrisy because God forbid it happens to you. God forbid you make a mistake. Wouldn't you want a bit of compassion, tolerance and empathy if you make a mistake? Or should everybody be burned at the cross for making a mistake? I hope that's not the world we live in and that's not the world I'd like to live in. I'd like to, but at the same time, you know what? I think if we, I think there is a better narrative than judgment, comparisons, criticism, contempt and that's all surrounded by compassion, tolerance, empathy and love and that's just my invitation. You can do what you want from this perspective. You can have your opinions on this. This is just my opinion. This is my reaction to this and my hope is, despite what happened, I hope that Will Smith finds it in his heart to forgive himself. I hope he certainly does more to make restitution because that's, a true apology is not only recognizing what you did having remorse, but what can you do to change? Because real apology isn't words, it's changed behavior and that's my invitation for Will Smith. What behavior within yourself are you going to change? All right. Those are my two thoughts, my two cents on this. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Please post a comment below if this resonated with you or not. I'd certainly like to hear what you have to say. As always, if you find value in the group, please tell your friends about Midlife Love Mastery. Send them to my website, JonathanAsley.com. Have them click the group coaching button so they can join our fantastic group. And I'm going to sign off this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big, gigantic Jonathan Barrett of self-love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow, and give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it right now, we could all use a lot more love. Take care. Bye-bye now.