 Hello everyone, welcome to another Narc Survival Live video. In this one we're going to be discussing how the discard phase isn't real. Many of you who are watching this right now, you may have been discarded by the narcissist and I know it's a very painful experience to go through. You've been through a lot with them, all of the ups and downs, the lies, the manipulation, the betrayal. You've been through so much with them and I know it's hard. It's difficult. It's like the entire time you felt invalidated as though they could not share your experience. Everything that you had to go through with them, they were never really there for you. It's like you had to go through all of that on your own and no one was there for you. No one listened to you. No one was by your side. No one supported you and I know what that's like. It's a very difficult thing to go through and in the end it just feels like they discarded you like you're nothing, your garbage, your rubbish, you're no good for them anymore. After everything you did for them, after how much you tried, you gave them everything you had. You did everything in your power to make them happy but nothing you did was ever good enough. They weren't satisfied. They weren't happy with you despite everything you did. It still just wasn't enough because nothing can fill that void. It doesn't matter what you do for them, they're never going to be happy with you or anyone else and that's why I say the discard phase isn't real because it's not real. It's an illusion of a rage. It looks like they're done with you. It looks like they're not coming back. But they will be back and I know you may have seen the pictures on social media of them flaunting their new source. It looks like they're so much happier without you. They've just moved on, they've forgotten about you. They're living their best lives now and it's like you never even existed, you never meant anything to them but in actuality, yes they may be with someone else and they love bombing that new person, they're in the idealization phase but soon enough the narcissist will end up devaluing them. Something will happen, things will go wrong and they will turn against them and when that happens they're going to be seeking another new source and they may just come back to hoover you, they may re-idealize you, they may love bomb you again and that's why I say the discard phase isn't real. It's an illusion, it's a mirage, of course at some level they do realize they do know despite the arrogance, the sense of superiority and entitlement beneath all of that they know that they're not that special to where you cannot find anyone to replace them because how difficult is it to find someone who is manipulative, self-absorbed, someone who lacks empathy, there are so many people like that in this world and at some level they know or they will know how difficult it's going to be to replace you because empathic people they are very rare and being empathic you were a great source of supply for them, you were a good listener, you paid attention to them, when something went wrong you didn't blame them, you self-loathed, you blamed yourself, you took responsibility for everything, perfect supply for a narcissist because they need a doormat, a fool, someone who will just listen to them blindly and do whatever they want, that's what gives them their supply and what seems to happen a lot because I've had so many clients, I've spoken to so many people and I do notice a pattern, I notice that when narcissists leave empaths, people who follow my videos, my clients, people I talk to, when a narcissist leaves someone like that they typically want to go off and prove to you and to themselves that you were the one who was the problem so for that they need someone who they can create a false image with, to where it looks good, they've moved on, they're happy, they're living the best lives and for them to do that they're going to have to find someone who is also if not a narcissist then narcissistic typically someone who's overt, grandiose, someone who knows how to put on a show and of course these types of people, they're manipulative, they're liars, they're frauds, they're exploitative, so they're likely to just be deceiving the narcissist and yet the narcissist will sell this dream to you, they will flaunt the new source in your face without even being aware that they are being tricked themselves and it's only a matter of time until all falls apart and then they will come crawling back to you or if it's gone too far and all of their family and friends know about their new relationship then they're gonna have to just go on with it and pretend like nothing is wrong because now everyone has heard all of the lies about how you were the problem, how you caused everything to go wrong so now they should be fine if they've met someone new and of course in the beginning they tell everyone this time it's different, this time this person's great so if anything goes wrong in this next relationship of course the only common denominator is them so people are going to start to realize that they are the problem even if they are being manipulated, tricked and deceived they can only cry wolf so many times until people start to catch on so they may just play along with it, they may act like nothing is wrong and you will still see the illusion it looks like they're happy they've moved on but deep down they are miserable they're not happy they just don't want you to know about it so they will continue going along with it acting as though they're having such a great time without you even though yes deep down they may still be miserable just as they were with you things haven't changed at all but there is a chance that they will still come back to you I did when they come back to you they may act as though the relationship was fine but maybe they just had different priorities maybe it was something with the news sources job and they had to move somewhere else they'll make up some excuse and then they'll compare you to the news source they'll say the news source did this they did that they did things differently they did things better than you to hold you up to that same standard even though it's very different to how they portray it to you it's just to get you to jump through hoops to do things that you wouldn't normally do but you're willing to make an effort to please them to make them happy so they'll use that tactic because they know it's going to work on you if you're an empath especially if you're if you're a codependent or a people pleaser now that's why i'm bringing this information to you to make you aware of it so that you don't fall for it because after everything you've been through you deserve better treatment than that you deserve someone who loves and cares about you for real someone you matter to someone who has your best interest in mind not someone who's just trying to play you for a fool because you're not a fool yes you may have this sense of innocence and naivety if you just trust them blindly you give them so many chances you trust them at times even when you shouldn't but you still do because you want to believe that they're a good person you see the goodness in yourself so you see the goodness in them even if there isn't any that's what we often do we we project our own empathic traits on to other people even when that's not even who they are and we need to stop doing that because when we do that we're just entering a fantasy and they're not even reciprocating it back they don't even feel the way that you do it's just that we project our emotions onto them because maybe we want this ideal love we want to feel like so many times before maybe we did get it wrong people hurt us they tricked us we failed for it their lives their games but maybe this time it's different this time we didn't make a mistake maybe we got it all wrong all of those times for four but this time we got it right we must have got it right and it's like we enter this state of delusion to where we can't even see what's right in front of our eyes because it's like if this is reality and reality is this painful let me not be in reality anymore let me just pretend that this is what I want it to be even if it's not let me just be blind let me just not even see it just ignore the red flags just overlook it and that's typically what we do in the beginning if you look back I'm sure you'll remember you saw those red flags things that weren't right and you just ignored it you just kept it pushing and that's just as we are as empaths it's like we want that love that ideal relationship so bad after all of the pain and a heartbreak that we've been through we'd rather just be delusional just pretend like nothing is wrong even though deep down we know that it is very wrong we just go along with it and we pretend because it's like we just don't want to deal with the reality we don't want to accept it and that's perfect for the narcissist to come in and go along with it as though they're this hero the savior the Samaritan this person who's there for you because that's all that they're going to do they're not going to be there for you for real they're only ever going to manipulate and exploit you and they will happily share this delusion with you making you believe that it's real when they know fully well that they are not that person and they are never going to be that person for you but that doesn't mean that they won't come back they will keep coming back as long as they see an opportunity to do so as long as they think that you're still going to be susceptible to their manipulation you're still going to believe in their lives and you're still willing to be delusional about it because let's just keep it real we have been delusional about it we saw them as something they're not and that's not to say that they didn't play along with it but in the beginning it was what we wanted and they knew it they could see it that's why they may come back if they believe that they can put you through that again because that's all they're going to do they put you through the ringer once and they're going to do it again it's not going to change they're not going to change you can change as much as you want you can change everything about yourself it's not going to change them they're always going to be that way and the sooner you accept it the sooner you will be able to protect yourself by realising that this is who that they are this is their character and that is not going to change there's no incentive for them to change they're quite comfortable with being that way it gets them what they need and all they're really concerned about is short-term gratification as damaging as that may be to them they can't help themselves delayed gratification is the way to live a fulfilling life it's the way for us to get us the things we want over a long period of time but narcissists settle for short-term things and that is why they never experience long-term success because there's no discipline or self-control they're just all over the place they're impulsive or reckless they're just doing whatever they want whatever they want and however they want to do it there's nothing to keep them in check and that is why they're so out of control that is why they're so damaging and destructive but as for ourselves we are thinking more long-term we're thinking about what is going to be best for the future and that's why we move the way that we move because we're long-term focused because we know we have the ability to experience long-term success and that's why we're not so impulsive or reckless in the way that they are they are the ones who damage and destroy us not the other way around but they come in and everything that we have the tools and the resources everything that we've prepared for something long-term and future they take that and they destroy it because they're impulsive or reckless that only short-term focused they're not thinking about anything long-term they're not thinking about a future and that is why all they really get is short-term gratification and that's how you know the discard phase isn't real because wherever they go whoever they're with whatever they're doing it's only a matter of time until that falls apart and then they will come back it won't be long but when they do come back make sure that door is shut make sure you've turned the key and locked it so that they can't get back in because all they're going to do if you let them back in again they're just going to destroy everything again they're not going to build you well they're not going to make you better they don't even have the ability to do that if they could do that they would have done it before but all they're concerned about is short-term gratification they don't care about anything long-term and that is how you should know that they are no good for you all they're ever going to do is destroy you or anyone else that they may be with so while yes the discard phase may not be real that does not mean that you should see it as an opportunity to let them back into your life because you should know by now what they're going to do they've already done it before and they have no incentive to change just think about it what they did in the past they got them what they wanted so why wouldn't they do that again and if they don't do it to you they're going to do it to someone else so make sure you're out of harm's way and when you see them flowing to the news source on social media don't even bat an eyelid at that know that it isn't real remember what they did to you know that they're going to do that same thing to them as well and it will make it that much easier for you to forget about them and move on when you know that that's all they're going to do they manipulate cheat lie future fake and then to discard you and there is no other way around that that's how their disorder functions that's how they get what they want in the moment but it's only in the moment it's short term they can't produce long-term success the problem is it takes something long term for you to realize that when you're looking at things in the beginning of course it's going to look good because they're short term focused that focused on short term gratification so they're doing everything they can to go after that so of course it's going to look good in the beginning but what about over time where are they going to be in the future of course it's not going to go well for them and you may think yes but it didn't go well for us and that's the thing as well we were long-term focused they weren't when you're long-term focused and someone else isn't and they're just coming in to manipulate and exploit you then of course things aren't going to go well for you that's why I said it's important to keep that door shut turn the key and make sure it's locked do not let them back in all they're going to do is destroy because while you may be long-term focused they are not they're only thinking about what they can get from you in the moment and someone like that who comes in just thinking about what they can get and the shortest amount of time possible like I said it's like a mouse coming out the hole in the ball grabbing a bit of cheese and then it just goes back to the hole where it belongs that's exactly what our sisters do that's exactly what they're going to do to you they've done it before they're going to do it again and that's exactly what they're doing with someone else right now and it's because they know where they belong they know that they're no good for you they know that it's only a matter of time until they screw things up or until you get fed up of them or until they get bored and then they're going to go and find a new supply they know that they cannot last over time so keep them out don't let them back into your life on average a narcissist will discard a victim seven times before it's finally all over of course that may be changing now with all of this information and people are becoming more aware of it but that's why I have to promote this message in the hopes that it will prevent you from having to go through this seven times because if you think you lost a lot and you wasted a lot of time the first time just imagine how bad it's going to be the second time the third time and all of the times after that of course it's only going to get worse but then that also just reveals what type of people they target if they're able to go through their seven times before it's finally all over now that's how you know it's not going to be easy for them to find someone else like you that's why they typically go through their seven times before it's the final discard because they already know as well they're not going to find someone like you ever again the odds are that they won't as I've said in previous videos statistics show that only one to two percent of the world's population are empaths so that is how rare we are but just know that the discard phase isn't real it may look real it may feel real but it is an illusion it is a mirage and it is something that you should not believe in but something that you should be aware of knowing that they could come back at any moment and typically the moment when they will come back is when things start to get better for you when you begin to heal and move on because that is when they will sense your energy shifting away from them and they want to have that attachment they want you to attach to them they want you to be holding on longing and doing in for them but be aware that things are never going to get better they're always going to be that way that's always how they're going to be treating you it's never going to change the only thing that's going to change is you when you finally leave them in the past and you decide to move on when you do that yes things will get better for you and they won't like it they will try to come back they will try to sabotage it and destroy you again that's why you've just got to keep them out don't let them back in don't believe in their lies don't believe in the illusion recognize that what you saw with your own eyes that was real that was the real deal what you went through your feelings were real those negative emotions you felt when you were around them that was a real experience do not doubt it based on what they say to you or on how they try to come back and treat you better don't let that pull you into the delusion remember what you saw before because yes of course sometimes this can give you cognitive dissonance too conflicted beliefs of where you're unsure of what actually happened this is where you have to trust your own intuition believe what you're seeing recognize it as true and real do not doubt yourself you didn't doubt yourself before and you were fine before you met them all right so that's the message for today on how the discard phase isn't real and in many situations yes they will come back but you need to keep them out and recognize that they're not for you they don't deserve you and you deserve better you deserve the right treatment you deserve to be treated with love and respect rather than being manipulated fooled deceived lied to so i hope this message was helpful to you and if it was you can give it a thumbs up down below it will take you two seconds and it will help to get this message out there to other survivors you can also leave a donation by giving this video a super chat or a super thanks in the comment section or you can go to my paypal it is paypal.me slash narc survivor hit the subscribe button and click all notifications so that you will be notified when i upload a new video and if you'd like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me you can go to my website it is narcsurvivor.co.uk and you can also follow me on instagram it is narcsurvivor youtube thank you all for joining me on another narc survivor live video i do appreciate you all and i look forward to talking with you in another live video very soon