 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man, and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Well, little Miss Honey, how are you today? I'm still very anxious. Well, you were anxious last week. Well, I'm even more anxious today because last week Rusty was riding in the race to try to win the $1,000. But we stopped just before the day. And I'm anxious too. And then? Now I see. And I'm anxious too. Well, then will you please hurry and read me the funnies? Puck the Comic Weekly. I'll read that in just a moment. But first, before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly and on the first page, under bringing up father, Beatle Bailey. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Tweet me a toot and tweet me a tweedle. Squeeze out music for Bailey the Beatle. Beatle is at the amusement park getting a little relaxation from his problems with the army at a shooting gallery. He makes a bull's eye. The attendant says, congratulations, Mac, you won our best prize. And he hands Beatle a doll. I won that. As he walks through the crowd, Beatle exclaims, Dolly, I can't let any of the guys see me with this. Then he sees a little girl. He walks over to her, pulls out the doll. Would you like this nice dolly little girl? The little girl's mother yells, Becky! And warps Beatle over the head with an umbrella. Hey, hey! And she walks off with little Becky. How many times have I told you not to talk to strange men? Beatle struggles to his feet, clutching his aching head. Last picture top row, he sees a hole in a wall nearby. Yeah, chuck it in this hole while nobody's looking. He turns around to walk away. First picture bottom row, the doll shoots out of the hole. Hey! Hitting Beatle in the back of the head. Beatle picks up the doll. Oh, gosh. He goes over to the tunnel of love, which is a spot where people in a boat follow a little river that goes into a dark building. Beatle tosses the doll in the water. You caused me enough trouble. A woman standing nearby yells, Brooke, please! An officer rushes up. The woman points at Beatle. He threw it. There's the cop powers at him. Well? Beatle says, it was just a doll. I'll get it. Last picture, we're back at the army camp again. Beatle walks into the bunkhouse carrying his doll. As the guy stopped talking and stared at him. Hey, look! Beatle says, the first junker who opens his app gets one wet doll for dinner. Yes, no one wishes that more than Beatle. Who is it? Yes, and maybe Beatle will discover that and send it to her and make her happy. Oh, I hope so. Yes, so do I. Well, now let's turn over the page to Prince Valiant. Oh, yes. But Tillicombe, the Indian maid, who is Arn's nurse, has followed his trail through the forest and is trying to catch up to the men. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur. Hackett, Brackett, Gray Malkin, and Quince. Music romantic for a fair, fair prince. For two days, Tillicombe has trotted doggedly on the trail of Prince Arn's capturers. She comes to a brook and she sees that the horse's tracks lead him to the water and that the brook is still muddy. Tillicombe knows now they're just ahead. She glides onward. Silence is now more important than speed. For the day is ending and her enemies will surely stop in the next good camping place. And then she hears voices and the sound of an axe in the rattle of harness. She creeps closer, last picture top row, to a spot from which she can watch and wait. First picture second row, she sees their camp through the trees. As the kidnappers settle for the night, they talk and laugh, for they feel safe from pursuit and are boastful of their craftiness. And Tillicombe learns who's behind this foul deed and why. It's the middle of the night. The men are fast asleep. Suddenly little Prince Arn is awakened by a hand over his mouth. Then he feels the familiar braid of Tillicombe's hair against his cheek. In the velvety darkness, a dying ember reflects on a naked knife blade as Tillicombe cuts the raw hide thong that keeps little Arn tied to the hand of his capturer. And then Arn is in Tillicombe's arms and is quickly carried away from the camp. Short distance from the camp, Tillicombe finds soft earth where tracks will show very easily. She tells little Arn to walk through this soft earth, making sure his feet sink deep into the earth, leaving footprints. First picture bottom row, little Arn does the work assigned to him with great enthusiasm. Then morning comes. The kidnappers discover that little Arn is gone. Quickly they search for him around the camp. Not long before they find Arn's trail leading away from the camp. Swiftly they mount their horses and ride back up the trail to recover their captial. Not seeing Tillicombe and little Prince Arn who hide behind some fern leaves in the forest. Then last picture, Tillicombe and Arn hurry to the campfire where the men have left their supplies. Take what food they'll need for their long homework journey. And in a moment, they will be ready to begin the journey back. Yes, at last she found him and he's safe with her again. Isn't it, pal? Yes, you bet it was. I wonder if he will get him safe home. Well, don't forget, Boltar is trying to catch up with her and if he does then she'll have someone to help her. I hope they'll meet. Well, we'll find that out next week and we'll find out for sure if they do. Now, how would you like to see what Donald Duck is up to today? Oh, I'd like to agree much. Very well, turn over the page. And there on page five is Donald Duck. Say the magic words with me. Squee-jump, squee-jump, squee-jump, squee-jump. Let's have music to fit a clack-clack. Donald isn't feeling very well. So he's going to a doctor for a checkup. Third picture top row, the doctor listens to Donald's heart. Then the doctor listens to Donald's stomach. The doctor says, You eat too much, not enough exercise. And as Donald stands up, the doctor says, Mow your lawn, spade your garden. Work, work, work. Donald isn't happy with what the doctor has told him. So he goes to another doctor to see what he has to say. First picture bottom row, Doctor number two is looking down Donald's throat. Uh, say, ah. Well, it's simple. You're underworked. Not enough stimulus here, clans. Get busy or something. Donald gets up, walks out of the doctor's office angrily. You need a specialist. Third picture bottom row, Donald is at a specialist's office under the fluriscope. James, oh dear, dear, dear. Yes, this is bad. But there's hope, but we must act fast. When Donald is dressed, the doctor says, Uh, young man, relax. Fish, take it easy. Vacation and absolutely no work. You hear me now? No work. Last picture, Donald is sitting in a boat, fishing rod in his hand, sipping a cool drink. And he says, Nothing like a smart doctor. And the fish under the water, look at Donald's hook and give Donald a laugh. It's the lazy thing. All he was interested in was finding a doctor who didn't take things easy. Well, now let's turn over the page. Oh, look, Robin Hood. Yes, Robin Hood. And remember last week that the sheriff's men disguised as Robin Hood's outlaws that attacked the wagon train that was carrying the gold that was to buy King Richard's freedom. Yes, because of that. That's right. And the gold. Yes, but Robin Hood received a message just in time. And as the sheriff's men attacked the wagon train, Robin Hood and his men came out of the forest to defend the queen and the archbishop and to save the gold. Oh, I wonder if Robin Hood will win. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with a story of Robin Hood. It's Mary, Mary, England in days long ago. Time now for Robin Hood. Some music. Hi-ho. Robin and his men swarm over the sheriff's disguise boomin' just as they're about to seize the king's ransom. Robin Hood himself leaps onto the wagon where two men are trying to make away with the chest of gold. Stop you. Stop them. With a quick blow, he sends one of the men toppling backwards off the wagon. Another one comes at him with a sword. Robin catches his misfit and with a quick punch sends him flying through the air. Robin's men are making his good account of themselves. And the battle is over in the hurry. The sheriff's men flee into the forest. And last picture, top row, Robin hurries to Queen Eleanor. I pray you run home, my lady. Those names are no men of mine. At that moment, little John comes toward Robin, pushing before him a man he's captured. This fellow will tell us whose men they really were, Robin. First picture, bottom row, little John gives the man a twist of the arm. Speak, I say. Whom do you serve? The man answers, the sheriff of Nottingham. The Archbishop explains, who in turn serves Prince John, the brain behind the ambush. The Queen thanks Robin for what he's done for her. Robin asked where the maid Marion is. The Queen replies that someone had said Marion had slipped away last night to join him. Robin replies, to join me, my name, my lady. Last picture, the Archbishop says, ah, now it is clear. It was Prince John who said she slipped away. And then comes the dreadful realization. Maid Marion is held captive by the ruthless Prince John. So am I, and I'm glad the goal to ransom King Richard is saved. Yes, but John. Well, maybe we'll learn about that next week. Now let's pick up the very first page of the second section, because it's time for Dagwood and Blondie. Oh, and I do. Well, we'll see what funny thing happens to him today. And I'll read that in just a moment. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Putt the Comic Weekly. And on the first page of the second section, Dagwood and Blondie. Magic wits for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Ramaphoo, Ramapham, Zim, Zim, Zambi, conjume a music for Dagwood and Blondie. At the end of the week, after paying all the bills, Dagwood exclaims, $2.20 left over this week. I'll put it in a set of tin boxes. I'll hide it for a rainy day. Last picture top row, he's digging into the top shelf of his closet. This should be a safe hiding place up here behind these old hat boxes. Five minutes later, second picture, second row, the dogs walk into the living room with the tin box and Dagwood's money in their mouth. And one of them says, which means? We found it. Now it's our turn to hide it. And Dagwood cries, oh no, not as quickly as that. Last picture, second row, Dagwood is down in the basement, burying the tin box with the money under a lot of junk. He's saying, they're in the yard working together. Couldn't find it down here. Second picture, third row, his daughter, Cookie, who has been playing hide and seek with some of her friends, dashes into the living room. Look, Daddy, we found a buried treasure. $2.20. Oh no, no, no, no. Give it to me, it's mine. Last picture, third row, Dagwood is slamming his hat on, heading for the door with the money in his hands. There's no use trying to save money around this house. I'm going out and squandering on the most useless thing I can find. He opens the door and first picture, bottom row, delivery man steps in and says cheerfully, a COD package for Mrs. Bownstead, $2.20. Dagwood's hat pops off to the penny. A moment later, Dagwood brings the package to Blondie. Blondie, quick, tell me what's in this package. Oh, goodie, it's the new household budget book I sent for her. And she unwraps it, she says. It tells you how to make your salary and expenses come out even every week. And last picture, Dagwood drops to his knees, buries his face in his arms, and pounds the table in misery. Oh, it certainly worked good this week. No, poor Dagwood, no matter what he tries, it always goes wrong. Oh, I love him, because he makes me laugh. Yes, me too. Well, now let's turn over the page. Oh, look. Yes, King Stang has sent Flash out into the jungle with Queen Vicki, where the harvesters are at work. And he told you. And last week, as Flash came to the forest where the harvesting was to be done, the blue ones were hiding in the trees nearby. But the package. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Flash Gordon. Rigger, digger, doon, doon, saskum, attach. Let's have music for heroic Flash. Landing her jet car in a jungle clearing where her harvesters are at work, Queen Vicki thrusts a chemigun into Flash's hand and orders him to stand guard and watch for the blue ones, saying that they strike without warning. Taking no chances, Vicki commands one of the tree men to set up another guard post at the jungle's edge. The tree man is a veteran of earlier brushes with the blue menace. And he walks his post, tense and alert. But even his keen eyes fail to detect the rubbery tentacle which stretches down from a tree to ensnare him. Last picture, top row man and gun are suddenly clutched in a vice-like grip. The startled tree man barely manages to gasp out to cry for aid before he's crushed by the blue mass of protoplasm. First picture, bottom row, the guard's cry sends a wave of panic through the ranks of the harvesters. With a frantic beating of wings, they flee from the danger area, leaving Flash and Vicki at the mercy of the blue menace. Flash hurries to the side of the stricken sentry. But he is too late. The guard is beyond help. And a wing feather that floats down through the trees is a nominal sign of the fate that is overtaken at least one of the fleeing tree men. Help, Flash, help! Responding to Vicki's plea, Flash hurries toward her. But last picture as he emerges from the jungle and brushes past what appears to be an innocent-looking fern tree, a pair of tentacles lash out and seize him in a bone-cracking grip. Yes, those tentacles are powerful. And look, Flash. Well, we'll find that out next week. And now I'll bet you're anxious to know what's happening to Dick's adventure. Oh, yes, I am. Very well. Let's go past Buzz Sawyer, turn over the page, and go past the Lone Ranger. And on page five, turn over that page. And Paris. Yes, America's at war with the English. And Paris' job is to defeat the British Navy, which is on Lake Erie. And the battleships. And they tried to sail out of the harbor, Bunbar. And Paris' big problem is to get that ship off the sandbar before the British ship comes into sight. Because if he doesn't, the British can blow him to pieces, because he can't move to get away. Oh, I really want to have that. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Rikety-pack-a-zack-a-zick. Let's have music for adventure this dick. Harry, knowing that time is tremendously important, says, well, if man can move mountains, he can move my ship. He orders his men to unload all the fighting gear on board and put them on rafts. Then first picture, bottom row. Men are set to work to dig underwater trenches and attach camels to the ship below the water line. Camels are tanks filled with water. They are fastened to the ship a few feet under the water level. Then water is pumped out of the tanks. And as the water is forced out, the tanks are filled with air, which makes them lighter. And they slowly rise to the surface, lifting the ship up with them. And this is the trick that Perry hopes will save his ship. The hours pass. The Perry scheme work. Build the camels, which are slowly rising higher and higher out of the water. Lift the ship high enough to get across the sandbar. All night long, the men work. As the first gray of dawn appears on the horizon, here clutches their hearts. And the ship come clear in time. Then last picture, second row, the great ship Lawrence trembles and moves. The next second, it friendships itself free from the clutching sand. A big cheer goes up. For the wind catches the sails and moves the ship forward across the sandbar. In no time at all, the fighting gear, the cannon, the powder, and the supplies are loaded aboard the ship. And like a great white bird, the Lawrence glides out into the open lake, first picture bottom row, followed by the arm-brick Niagara, and a flotilla of schooners and gunboats. Perry's entire task force has safely crossed the sandbar. The wheels of fortune have turned. The pursuit become the pursuers. Perry sets out to hunt down his enemy. He warns, Dick, keep your weather eye peeled, Dick. Now we're ready to meet them and give them another kind of banquet. And then Dick, last picture, is shouting, hey, there they are, Captain Perry. I see them. I see them. I see them. And last picture, Dick looks around and sees he's in his own room in the world of today. And his father, standing beside his bed smiles, well, you've been dreaming again, son. You bet it was. Why do they call them camels? Because camels have a lot of water in them. Oh, fuck. Yes, because air is lighter than water. You bet it was. And next week, we'll see what else happens. Now look underneath Dick's adventures. There's Rusty Riley. Oh, and today we'll race. You bet we will. And if he wins that race, he's going to give the $1,000 to Mrs. Jones so she can pay that mean Mr. Marlowe. And then Marlowe can't take the farm away from Mrs. Jones. Well, please. All right, here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run until the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. We're at the county fair. Everyone in the stands is on his feet, cheering his heart out. Around the bend, into the last lap, come the thundering horses. And going neck and neck for the lead are space pilot and another horse. Closer and closer, they come to the finish line. Rusty shouts, come on, space pilot, please. You've just got to win this race. And then across the line, the two horses flash neck and neck. And in the stand, a terrific roar goes up. Meet Rusty's friend, sitting beside Stovepipe says, he did it, Mr. Stovepipe. Rusty's won. Stovepipe answers, my job he has. Practically a photo finished, but he won. First picture bottom row, Stovepipe and Pete have joined Rusty down by the judge's stand. Stovepipe is saying, ah, my boy, congratulations, congratulations. Allow me to escort you to the throne of triumph. Rusty replies, well, all I'm thinking about is getting that person making tracks for Mrs. Jones Farm. This is the day that Marlowe is going to foreclose. They work their way over to the judge's stand. And as the ceremonies begin, one of the judges turns to Rusty and says, and now I take pleasure in presenting to Rusty Riley, winner of the Blue Broke Handicap, this handsome trophy. Well, that's wonderful. Well, that's very nice. And now, wait a minute, folks, wait. And the purse, which is $1,000 in purchase certificates from the merchants of our fair city. A startled look comes over Rusty's face as he realizes he doesn't have the $1,000 in cash. And cash is what he needs. He takes the certificates, turns to Stovepipe and Pete, and slowly they walk away. Last picture in the tack room, Rusty is saying, Chiefers, Mr. Stovepipe, what are we going to do now? You can't pay off a mortgage with purchase certificates, can you? Stovepipe answers, where, my boy? It is a bit of a poser. It's certainly not customary. But I suggest we go to this stony-hearted vulture and try. Yes, I saw it to a great big sign, the words right on it. Yes, because he doesn't want Mrs. Jones to keep her farm because it's. Yes. Well, Rusty's really faced with the problem now. How to get the $1,000 for these certificates immediately before nightfall so he can legally pay Mr. Marlowe the cash and save the farm? Oh, I wonder what he will do. Well, next week we'll find out, I hope. Now, that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some interesting information. Well, honey, and all your boys and girls, I've got to go now. All right. OK, that's a date, and a date with all your boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend, Miss Honey, next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you, happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend, the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man.