 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, Why Men Run Back When You Ignore Them, The Truth. That's my cute way of saying the truth. Really quickly, if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell. I shoot about three videos for a week for your enjoyment and your knowledge. All right, we're gonna talk about why men run back. Why they run, run, run, run, run back when you ignore them. So ladies, let's think about this for a second. Why have you, when I'm, okay, so one of the number one search terms for women is for women in the dating and relationship realm is understanding why men pull away. Why do men go? Why do men disappear? How do I get my guy back? So let me ask you, when someone pulls away from you, when someone ignores you, when someone is silent, when someone disappears, what happens to you? Do you get anxious? Do you get nervous? Do you start getting agitated? Do you get start getting antsy? Well, that's what happens when you've been connected with someone and now there's a disconnection. There's a disconnection and oftentimes the only way to heal from that is to run back, run back, run back. And to fill this void, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they genuinely care about you. Now, you might be thinking, well, Jonathan, when a man pulls away and I'm trying to get him back, I genuinely care about him. Can I be honest with you? That's not always the case. Ladies, I've shown this graph before, but now I've actually created a little bit more. So I want you to see these three circles. Circle number one, child. Circle number two, adult. Circle number three, parent. What's often happening when someone runs back, when someone has been ignored or pulls away, is because their little kid is antsy for connection. Their little kid wants to be loved. They're feeling inadequate in the relationship. They're feeling this sense of fear going on and they go into what's called fight mode, especially if you're known as an anxious love attacher. And if you're not familiar with the book Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Hiller, I always mess it up. I was thinking of another author. It goes into love attachment style. So one of the main reasons why people run back when someone is pulled away or ignored them is because they're trying to fill that gap. Now, why does this happen in the first place? Let's do a deeper dive into what's causing this. Now, if you're not familiar with the work of Harvelle Hendricks, I highly recommend you getting the book called Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt. That's what I was going to say, Rachel, before. Helen Hunt, Harvelle Hendricks. Okay, this is to understand what's known as the Amago. And the Amago goes back to, remember this child parent here? Oftentimes what we're trying to do is we're trying to get that love that we didn't get in our childhood back from our parents. So we choose people who are emotionally very similar to our parents. This is one of the reasons why women oftentimes choose men who are emotionally unavailable because their fathers, most likely, or maybe their mothers, were emotionally unavailable. And they're trying to relive that on a sub-conscious level. Nobody is doing this consciously. Nobody is going, I really want to have a lot of drama and uneval in my life. Nobody's actually operating that way intentionally. It's all happening in the sub-conscious level. This is why when you read these books, when you, and by the way, if you've been following my channel for a while, by the way, if you've been following my channel for a while, have you noticed the background is different? I'm switching it up. I'm going to move it up a little bit. I will still change the picture. I'm going to put a new book each time, so you're going to notice some differences. But now I lost my train of thought. Where the heck was I going? Okay, switching it up, right? All right. So I'm switching it up, but I want, I'm sharing with you the importance of reading these books, reading these books, because ladies, if you want to get into that adult area of relationship, then you're going to have to learn the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship if you want a relationship with an adult. Most of us are out there. There's so many children out in the dating realm, and I'm talking about emotional children. I'm not talking about, they don't, you know, you could have someone who's very responsible, very successful, very what seems on the outside very mature, but the inside might be emotionally mature because the vast majority of the population has done little, little or no work in the area of personal development, especially in the area of healing childhood wounds and traumas. Let me repeat that. The vast majority of the population has done little work to heal childhood wounds and traumas. By the way, when you saw me do this, never do that in front of a guy. Never, ever, ever always say this to a guy. Okay. All right. So healing childhood wounds and traumas. This is why I wrote my book, What the heck is Self-Love Anyway. You can see by Jonathan Asley. There's a link below called selflovethebook.com. Check out my book. It's a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. It was inspired by the loss of my 19-year-old son because one of the things I've noticed within humanity is a sad lack of not, I mean, a sad preponderance of feeling not good enough, not lovable, not likeable. And I hear I want to shift this for everybody. So please get this book. I know many of you have gotten it for friends. You've given it to your boyfriends. I think that's great. If you're single and looking for love, I'm here to support you on that as well. This is a great book even if you're not in relationship. So I highly recommend it. So why do guys keep running back? This isn't, there's this belief that men are running back because they miss you. Oh my god, this whole thing that love happens during missing. No, love doesn't effin happen when you miss someone. Love happens when you appreciate someone. That's when love happens. Now, sometimes during an absence, you can feel like you can appreciate the person, but what you have to really be looking at is their actions afterwards. Because if their actions are still going back into child mode, then yeah, it may feel good in the moment, but it's going to be a calamity later on down the road. And I'm assuming that's not what you want in your life. Am I right? If I am right, please post a comment below. If you have a question, please post a comment below. Because ultimately, what you want to choose is a juicy, delicious relationship where you don't have to ignore a guy for him to like you. And let me tell you something. If you have to do it to get him to motivate him, chances are it's not the right relationship. Do you agree? Disagree? Post a comment below. All right, I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic shot at the bear hug of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a pillow or even my teddy bear and give it a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. I want to thank you a bunch and saying bye-bye now, wishing you a fab day.