 Lux presents Hollywood. Lever Brothers Company, the makers of Lux Toilet Soap, bring you the Lux Radio Theatre, starring Loretta Young and Van Johnson in Mother is a Freshman. Ladies and gentlemen, you're a producer, Mr. William Keely. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Fifteen years ago this week, a denim radio entertainment was begun. It was a Lux Radio Theatre. Its purpose was to bring into American homes the finest in drama played by the most important stars. Since that day, a new generation has grown up and the Lux Radio Theatre with it. Now it's a part of the American scene, an institution in millions of American homes. To celebrate this 15th anniversary, we've selected a gay romantic comedy that brings together two of this theatre's top favorites, those very bright stars Loretta Young and Van Johnson. The play is Mother is a Freshman, a 20th century Fox success you've requested so often. You know, if Mother were to go back to college today, she'd find it quite different than it was 15 years ago. But some things would make her feel right at home. For one, that familiar cake of Lux Toilet Soap. Yes, even when Mother was a Freshman, Lux Soap was a favorite complexion care of the loveliest girls on the campus. And again tonight as it has for 15 years, Lux makes it possible for you to hear another hit play as the curtain rises on Mother is a Freshman starring Loretta Young as Abigail and Van Johnson as Richard. It happens sometimes to the best of us. A first memorandum from the bank informing us that our balance is not sufficient to cover our checks. It's happened this time to a young and beautiful widow residing on Park Avenue in New York. Oh, Susan, not all those packages. Oh, darling, I told you not to spend any more money, remember? You didn't spend a shackle, Mom. Charged everything. Oh, dear. Here, this is for you. A book. Oh, that's very thoughtful of you, dear. It's the new one by John St. John. The grave digger and the chambermaid. Oh, Susie, really. Guaranteed you turned your hair gray. Oh, that's just what I need. Honestly, dear, how you can waste good money on such trash? Well, that's okay, Mom. You're welcome. Mom, look at this dress. Isn't it a dream? Yes, dear, it's beautiful. But I'm sorry it'll have to go back. Mom! I just heard from the bank and we're overdrawn. Well, then why don't you call John Heaslett? Just tell him to put some more money in our account. Oh, you know how upset he gets whenever I'm watching. Personally, I think John likes our economic crisis. He hasn't a chance to weigh that torch he's been carrying. Don't be silly, dear. Now, about this dress. Oh, I just have to have it, Mom. For the sophomore catillion. Richard'll love it. Richard? Oh, yes, yes. He's the president of the student body, isn't he? Mom, no, that's Beaumont Jackson. Oh, oh, yes. He's a schmo. Oh, uh, what? What's that? Oh, you know, a dope. A drip. A drip. Oh, that reminds me. I must call John. Dear, who is Richard? Mother, don't you ever listen to me. Richard Michaels, Professor of English Literature. Oh, that's nice, dear, a professor. A professor? Uh-huh. Oh, but Susie, is he one of your both? Oh, Mom, you're so old-fashioned. Those berries have broken down. Oh, have they? Well, of course. Pointer is a modern college. Oh, I see. Well, uh, how old is this Professor Michaels? Oh, he's sort of, well, ageless. Maybe around 35. Oh, well, dear, I'm around 35. Oh, but it's different with you, Mom. Your life's over. Oh, is it? Oh, but he hasn't even begun to live. Oh. Oh, Susie, I don't like it. I don't like it a bit. It just isn't... Susie, no. Hello? Oh, hello, John. I was just going to call you. Well, yes, I know. But when you're trying to outfit a girl for college and redecorate an apartment, will it... What? Why, John, I couldn't be. But that's impossible. I'll be right down. Well, but it... it must be a mistake. Well, what is it? Well, he said you weren't going back to college. Mother, that's impossible. Well, now, don't worry, dear. I'll see to this right now. Well, I don't think you understand. I understand that your expenditures have been simply disgraceful. Oh, you've already said that. Now, as for Susan, how can you expect her to go back to point to college without... I don't expect Susan to go back to point her at all. Now, John, you're just trying to scare me again, aren't you? No, Abby, I'm not. You're broke. Dead broke. But the trust fund that Henry left for me, I couldn't have spent all that. But the trust fund is payable only every three years. Yes. Your next payment isn't available until February. But that's five months. Oh, John, Susan must go back to point her. And where am I going to get the money to pay for her tuition? Well, there's one way, my dear. Oh, no, no, thank you. Let's not go into that again. Abby, please. Why, we're perfectly mated. Anyone can see that and more... No, there must be another way. Uh, John is my maiden name legal. Well, yes, if you care to use it. Oh? And what makes you ask that? Nothing, nothing at all. And thank you, John. Thank you for everything. But Abby, what's your hurry? Abby? Isn't your fault. No money, huh? Portress, till next February. Well, couldn't you borrow the money from John? He's so crazy about you, he's... I'll explain something to you. John Heaslip has an obsession against lending or borrowing money. And though he may be crazy about me, he is crazier about his obsession. See? Oh. Uh-huh. Well, we just have to go to work then. I'll get a job on campus and you can get a job here. Department store maybe, or some sweatshop. Mm-hmm. Mom, you're not listening. Well, what's that you're reading? This booklet. It's all about the endowments to pointer college. Oh, here it is. It's right here. The Abigail Fortitude Scholarship. For any female of good character and refinement with the name of Abigail Fortitude, the sum of $3,000 per annum shall be made available. So what? Well, $3,000 is a lot of money. Yes, but don't you see the catch? You've got to have a name like Abigail Fortitude. Well, my maiden name happens to be that. Oh, I know, Mom, but you're the last. And I'll never stop thanking you for finding a different name for me. You know, dear, I've been thinking. My grandmother Abigail gave money to point her. Then she fixed it so only her own family could use it. Well, then why don't we use it? Because my name is Abigail F... You? Yeah. Oh, my gosh, golly, gee... No. It wouldn't work. Now why not? Well, what about college entrance exams? You've never passed them. Well, now, Susie, it's up to you to see that I do pass them. Look here, dear, you don't seem to understand. If I don't go to point her, you're not going back either. Now, this $3,000 endowment will see us both through to February, at which time we collect on our trust fund. Oh, if we could only do it. Of course we can. I'll use my maiden name, and nobody need to know that I'm your mother. And now, about those entrance exams. Oh, they're murderous. Oh, come on, dear, they couldn't be that difficult. Oh, no? No. Prove the two triangles are congruent if the hypotenuse inside of one are equal to ditto. I beg your pardon. Ha! Give a concise statement of Dalton's atomic theory. Describe the structure of the typical dichotlidinous stem. Oh, Susie, that doesn't even sound like English. See what I mean? Oh, well, well, in that case, I guess we'd better get to work right away. Susie, drag out those textbooks of yours and start educating me. Gotta hand it to you, Mom. That's the ol' Abigail Fortitude Fortitude. Beautiful, Mom. Aren't you thrilled? This is it. You're on the campus. Yes, I know, dear. And there's the dean's office. Oh, you now get in there. All right, but where will you be? Oh, I just may stop by and say hello to Professor Michael. Professor Michael? Oh, oh, yes. Oh, he probably won't be in. Classes don't start till tomorrow, you know. Well, I'll see you at the freshman door, Mom. Happy landing. Yes, dear, and thank you. Yes, come in. Hello, Professor Michael. Susan Abbott. Well, for heaven's sake. It's good to see you. Oh, it's wonderful to see you, too. Did you have a good summer? Oh, sensational. Only I couldn't wait to get back. I thought September would never come. I know just how you feel. You're going to let me help you again, aren't you? I mean, correcting papers and stuff. Oh, you bet I am. But this year, you've got to give the boys a break, too. Boys? Oh, a girl gets so bored, Professor Michael. But working with you is an intellectual experience. Now, don't tell me you'd rather have an intellectual experience and be the bell of the ball at the Sophomore Cotillion. If I were dancing with you, I'd have both. Me? I wouldn't be found dead at a student dance. Oh, well, I've got to run, Professor. See you in class tomorrow. Nice of you to drop in, Susan. Goodbye. Goodbye. And good night. Good night? Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be tomorrow. Oh, that's very good, Susan. Very good. Hello? This is Western Union. We have a telegram for Professor Richard Michaels. This is Professor Michaels. It's from New York City. Happy to inform you, your book, Grave Digger and the Chambermaid has just jumped on Best Seller List. It's signed Williams & Sons Publishers. Best Seller List, huh? Well, what do you know? Thank you. Thanks very much. That new book you wanted. Well, I finally got it. Oh, the Grave Digger and the Chambermaid. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I have a very good reason for being interested in that book. I may blackmail you someday reading stuff like that. Well, ready for the next patient? A freshman named Abigail Fortitude. Oh, yes. Send her in, Miss Harper. This way, Miss Fortitude. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Dean Gillingham. Sit down, Miss Fortitude. Thank you. Uh, not nervous, are you? Yes, a little. But why? Your entrance examinations, or I'll not exemplary, at least all in order. And I'm happy to welcome you to point out. Oh, thank you. You realize, of course, that your matriculation is most unusual. Yes, I was afraid that... Well, a woman of my age coming to college... What a silly thought. What I meant by unusual is the fact that you're the first girl in 55 years to use the Abigail Fortitude Scholarship. Oh, well, you see, she was my grandmother. Yes, I know. Well, it's very good to see you here. What's the use of educating the children, I always say, if we don't educate the parents, too? You mean... Oh, have no fears. I'll keep your horrid secret, Mrs. Abbott. Oh, then you do know. After all, you and Susan share the same home address on your registration card. Oh, my goodness. We never thought of that. You see, we didn't want anyone to find out. Oh, are you sure you the fact will never fall from my lips? Oh, thank you. Good luck, Miss Fortitude. And remember where I am if you want me. Oh, that's very nice of you. Goodbye. Goodbye, Dean. Goodbye, my dear. And let me see where is that? Oh, the grave digger in the chamber made by John St. John. John St. John, indeed. Oh, not Mom. Abbey. Oh, golly, I forgot. Sorry. How'd you make out with Dean Gilliam? Oh, I think he's the nicest man I ever met. Oh, he's a charmer, all right. Richard Michael says he's one of the greatest educators in the country. Oh, well, I can believe that. He made me feel just a little like a cheat. Why? Oh, he was so pleased that I come to point you to finish my education. Oh, I wouldn't let it bother me. Well, it does bother me, since I'm only here to put my hands on some money. I've got news for you. What? If you plan to stay here, you're going to get an education whether you want one or not. Otherwise, you go right out on your ear. Oh, now, Susie, I told you time and time again not to talk that way. Abbey. Yes? I'll have to caution you not to correct people as if you were their mother. Oh? Other people might catch on, see? Oh. Oh, yes. I've been fixing up your room. Oh, dear, you did a good job. Thank you. That's wonderful. Look out the window. Huh? See? There's my sorority house on the other side of the green. Oh, yes. Well, at least we're close by. Well, what do I do now? Register for classes. All right. Only you're not going to Doreen this hall looking like that. Well, why? What's the matter with me? Your clothes. Look, this is college, not Fifth Avenue. Oh, dear, this is the most conservative thing I own. At home, maybe, but not here. Oh. And first of all, your hair. Oh. Take out those bobby pins and let it down. Let it down? And ditch the hat. Well, you don't like it? Abby, freshmen, don't wear hats. Oh. Not even at Doreen this hall. Now, step on it. Start fixing your hair. All right. I beg your pardon. I'm supposed to register here, but I don't have... Well, hi, Angelines. Just see the student buys a... Yow! What is it? Is something wrong? Wrong. If you don't want to tell me, where are I at? Oh, I'll tell you anything you want to know, baby. Oh. Where's your card? Uh, here. Table G. Dreampus. Over there. Thank you. Very much. Uh, pardon me, lady. This is Pointer College. The store club is south of here. Uh, I'm a student here. Here's my card. Abigail Fortitude. Yes. You? That's right. Oh, don't get sore, honey. The name just doesn't go with the scenery. Oh. Freshman, huh? Yes. My, my. Oh. You just out of the army or something? No. You married? Uh, no. Well, Abigail, what's your major going to be? Major? What's a major? Well, you see, in college, you've got to major in one subject, which indicates the type of career you have cut out for yourself. Oh. Well, uh, uh, what does Richard Michaels teach? Richard Michaels? Uh, what does he teach? Iniquity. What? Thinly disguised with Shakespearean sonnets and officially labeled English literature. Oh. Well, I'd better major in that. Abigail Fortitude. You too? Oh, we freshmen have to stick together. Oh. My name's Rhoda Adams. Well, hello, Rhoda. Uh, I'm Abigail Fortitude. You going to English left? Yes. Yes. Good. So am I. I wish I weren't so nervous. I'm scared spitless. You're what? I'm scared spitless. Oh, my dear. Don't say things like that. Huh? Oh, no. It's your scared spitless. So am I. It's that Richard Michaels. They say he's a heavenly hunk of professors. Oh, no. I didn't mean I was nervous about that. It's, well, it's just that this is my first class and everything is so new and strange and it has nothing to do with Richard Michaels. Yeah. That's what I keep telling myself. Well, there he is. Oh. You said it. Come on. Let's find a place to sit. What's your name? Abigail Fortitude. Fortitude. Hmm. Well, Miss Fortitude, I am not myopic and I have an uncanny sense of intuition when one of my students is unprepared. I can spot him in the last row just as readily as the first. So why don't you take this seat there next to Miss Sharp? Uh, yes, certainly. Hello, Miss Sharp. Oh, hello, Professor Michaels. Back for another try, eh? Don't you think you're in a rut? Oh, I'll pass this time, Professor Michaels, if I can keep my mind on my work. Yeah. All right. Let's come to order. This first session is going to be very short, so you need to embrace yourselves. In studying the text of Shakespeare, as we intend to do, we repeatedly find the theme of love used over and over again. And yet, in all the works we do, it's to expose your minds to Shakespeare. If some of you choose to sleep, that is your problem. If some of you choose to listen and learn, that is my problem. Meantime, the class is dismissed. Miss Fortitude. Yes? In my office, please. Oh, I'm sorry, Professor, but I have another class. I've just dismissed this one 40 minutes early. This way, Miss Fortitude. Uh, yes, Professor. Have a seat, Miss Fortitude. Thank you. That's rather an odd name, isn't it? It's the family name. Any relation to old Abigail 42, that great pinch-penny philanthropist or pointer? My grandmother. Oh. Oh. I'm using her scholarship here. Well, I didn't exactly mean it. She wasn't a great philanthropist. No, no, I didn't think you did, Professor. Miss Fortitude, would you answer a simple question? Well, yes, if I can. What the devil are you doing here? Why are you majoring in my course? That's two questions, Professor, and the answer is the same for both, to get an education. Are you trying to tell me there's anything left for you to... What do you mean by that remark? Well, I didn't mean what you thought I meant. It's just that you are a mature woman and apparently very sophisticated. You've never saw me before, and suddenly you seem to know all about me here. Now, wait a second. It's just that I'm used to kids and, well, you're sort of in my league. Well, I don't think I'm that matured, Professor. Don't misunderstand me. It's just that it's a little unusual for... Well, isn't it a little late for you to be getting an education? No, I don't think so, but if you doubt that one's available for me in your class, I'll be helping myself. No, no, I didn't mean that. Professor Michaels, I am not one bit interested in how you came to teach at Pointer, and I don't see why you should be interested in why I came to be taught at Pointer. Oh, now you're angry. Please, I was curious, that's all. Well, curiosity, kill the cat. Kill the cat, yes. Good morning, Mr. Pointer. Good morning, Professor Michaels. In a few moments, we'll continue with the second act of Mother is a Freshman. Now, Mr. William Keely, our producer. Act two of Mother is a Freshman, starring Loretta Young as Abigail and Van Johnson as Richard. Financed by a $3,000 scholarship, Abigail Fortitude is now the oldest and prettiest freshman ever to enter Pointer College, where her daughter, Susan, is a sophomore. Right now, Abigail's in class, and Professor Richard Michaels is discovering how interesting his work can be. And not on the campus, Susan and an old boyfriend. Okay, Susie, now, what about the sophomore could tell you? Well, it's still a month off, Beau. I'll let you know, huh? Why? Somebody else asked you? Well, not exactly. Yeah, I know who... Susie, what's got into you? I'm sorry, Beau. You're one of the nicest boys I know and I always want to be friends with you. Friends? You hate me, don't you? Oh, now, really? Yeah, well, even if Professor Michaels did go to the sophomore could tell you, it wouldn't be with you. It wouldn't? Uh-uh, not without Abigail Fortitude around. Or haven't you heard? Abigail Fortitude. Now, you're just being silly. An older woman like that going to college will naturally she's conspicuous, but... I'll say she is. She deserves a little more attention. Okay, Susie, you win. Just let me know about the could tell you. Mother? Mother and Richard Michaels? Oh, but that's absurd. Last tomorrow morning, prepare to discuss King Lear. That's all? Class dismissed. Miss Fortitude? Yes? May I see you please? Oh, yes, Professor Michaels. Close the door, Fortitude. Surely? Have a seat. Uh, did you get my theme, Professor? Not quite. Well, I handed it in. Yes, I know. I read it, but I didn't get it. Oh. That's why I wanted to see you. Oh. Your ideas are excellent, Fortitude. Yes. But your rhetoric, well, it leaves a lot to be desired. Oh, dear. No, no, don't be discouraged. You just need help on your academic approach. Oh. Oh. And you're going to help me. Oh, yes, indeed. Yes, I see. And not only that, but I'm going to have to turn the heat on. The heat? Yes. Uh-huh. You're too self-conscious, Fortitude. Uh-huh. You're nervous. Uh-huh. I get the feeling that you resent me. But that, of course, is only a sublimation of your fear of failure. It is? Uh-huh. Oh. You know, English literature can be fun, and I'm going to show you just how much fun. You must learn to relax. Well, thanks. Just the same, Professor. But I think I'll manage. You don't want to flunk, do you? Oh, no. No, I can't. Oh, then you better let me work with you. Oh. Well, all right, if you say so. And I think we'll work nights. Nights? Yes. Here? Oh, no. Now, we may as well be comfortable. Suppose you have dinner with me at my house, say, around 7 o'clock. No, I'm sorry, Professor, but I can't do that. I'm afraid you'd better. Oh. I live on faculty row number 17, right across from the circle. Professor, I don't think I ought to take up your time like that. I think after all these- Fortitude. That's just what I'm here for. Yes, Professor. Here she comes, Bueller. Look out the window. You see her? What a freshman. I admire her greatly, Bueller. She's determined to get an education. She's coming to the right place to get it. Excuse me, Professor. I'd better get them land shopping over. Well... Am I late? No, Fortitude. Come in, come in. Thank you. You look absolutely beautiful. Well, thank you, Professor. Oh, let's skip that, Professor, stuff. Call me Richard. Oh. Come into it. Make yourself comfortable. I'll fix a drink. How do you like my lair? Well, it smells good. Oh, that's the incense. You have to burn it to get the traditions out of the woodwork. Incense yet? I hope you like martini. Oh, no, thank you. I mixed them very well. Oh, no, thank you. You don't like martini? Well, I'm a student here. But you're over 21, aren't you? Oh, yes. Just. Well, they're good for you. Make you relax. Lose your inhibition. Oh, you know, sometimes I think inhibitions are very good for people, Professor. I think that... Oh, you know what I mean. Yes, I do know what you mean. Well, let's sit down and be comfortable, shall we? No, the springs are coming out of that chair. Oh. Let's just share the sofa, shall we? Well, yes, thank you. You might be. No, not if you like. Well, here's to you, Abby, and to a wonderful evening. Thank you. I can't tell you how much I look forward to this. Oh, really? Is something wrong with your cocktail? Oh, no, no, it's fine. Then drink it, drink it, so I can freshen up. Oh, surely. Yes, Abby, I've got to confess I'm glad you're weak. In English, that is. It gives me a chance not only to help you, but to know you well. Well, that's very kind of you, Professor. I want to know you very well. Oh, dear. What's the matter? I just remembered. I'm awfully sorry, but I just remembered. Remember where you're going? I'm very thoughtless of him, but I just remembered. I have another date, and I can't break it. But, Abby, for heaven's sake, you just can't just walk out. Oh, I said I was sorry. But what about your coaching? Oh, well, some other time, perhaps. Can't you break your other date? Oh, no, that would be rude. Rude? Yes. What about me? What about my plans for tonight? I've arranged everything. I know. Can you meet and bother coming to the door with me? Good night, Professor. Good night. Miss Fortitude, well, how nice to see you. What? What? And this is my wife, Miss Fortitude. Margaret, here's the young lady I was telling you about. Abigail Fortitude. Oh, how do you do, my dear? Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Gillingham? Well, Richard, I see we all arrived at the same time. No, Miss Fortitude is just leaving. She has another date. Oh. Abigail, but you're spoiling our evening. You don't think we enjoy dining with this dull young man, do you? Well, as a matter of fact. Well, he's only on his promise that you'd be here that we agreed to come. Oh. Well, my headache is a little better. Headache? I thought you said... Would you like a martini, Mrs. Gillingham? Why, yes, I would. So would I. Well, allow me. Thank you, Richard. Yes, thank you, Richard. Oh. You know, Miss Fortitude, you're really more than my husband described you. And he was simply outrageous. And how's college life agreeing with you, Abigail? Well, I must be us. Never been happier. I, uh... I'm sitting over here, Abigail. Oh. Yes. Yes, she knows it, dear. Well, I really wasn't worried about you becoming acclimated, Mrs. Abbott. Oh, no. And what do you think of your fellow students? Oh, I think they're wonderful. But I'm simply amazed how they can study some serious subject and at the same time read things like the comic strips. Oh. Gilly would rather miss a train than Lil Abner. Oh. Not really, Margaret. Well, I just don't understand how anyone can study a complex subject like chemistry, for instance, or a political economy and then sit right down to a blood-curdling murder mystery. You know, as I left tonight, the girl across the hall was reading an awfully lowered thing. Let me see. I think it was called, uh... The Grave Digger in the Chamber. Ah! Right. What's the matter with you, Richard? I'll be sorry. This is Martini. I must have swallowed the olive. Oh. And now, about that book. Oh, anyway. Oh, thank you, Bill. Nice timing. Richard, very edifying. Good night. Next week at our house. We'll let you know, Abigail. Good night, my dear. Good night. Now, if I may have my coat. Abigail, you're not leaving, too. Well, I have to be back at the freshman dorm before twelve, you know? I know. You know, usually the Gilliams don't stay past nine o'clock. Oh. It's your habit much. I'm glad they do. Uh, my books. Right here. Come on, I'll walk you over. Thank you. I didn't know you were married, Abby. I'm not. Well, before dinner, I distinctly heard Dean Gilliam calling you Mrs. Abbott. He did? Yes. Oh, I'm so sorry. He was supposed to keep that a secret. Oh, then you are married. No. No, I'm a widow. Eight years now. Oh, that's wonderful! What? Oh, I don't mean about you being a widow. I mean, if I'm not married. No, no. I know what you mean. Abbott. Abbott. Yes? Like in Susan? Mrs. Abbott? Hmm? You? Her mother? That's right. Impossible. Oh, no, no, I can't believe it. You're practically as young as she is. Oh, well, hardly. And anyway, she'll grow younger as she grows older. What's the idea? I've... Well, it's a rather long story. Richard, and it is a secret. We don't want anyone to know. We have our reasons. Okay. Thank you. She's a pretty wonderful kid, Abby. You ought to be proud of her. Oh, I am. Well, there's the dorm. Oh, wait a minute. Hmm? Come here. You know, if I... I'll get into trouble if I don't get in in time. They'd only duck you from going to the sophomore continued. Oh? Which mustn't happen, incidentally, because you're going with me. Am I? Listen, Abby. Yes? I'm rushing it because that Mrs. Abbott thing scared the daylights out of me. I like you. You know what I mean? I really like you. I like you, too. Then you will come to the dance with me? Well, is it customary? I mean, student and faculty, isn't it a little... Well, barriers no longer exist? They don't? No. Well, how nice. I had to do that. I had to kiss you. It's tradition. Oh. This tree we're under. It's the Kissing Oak. Oh, I see. It's true. Any girl who doesn't kiss your bow goodnight under this oak winds up an old maid. Well, that could hardly be applied to me now, couldn't it? Uh, hardly. Good night, Richard. Good night, Abigail. Oh, by the way, Richard. Yes? They teach us in Bodne that your kissing oak is a willow. Good night. This is the first time I've seen you alone in Simply Bay. Susie, I've missed your soul. What have you been doing with yourself anyway? Oh, nothing much. I just didn't want to get in your hair. Honey, don't be silly. Well, I mean, with Richard coaching you, I didn't want to make you self-conscious. In the first place, you needed lots of coaches. Oh, that I did. And in the second place, I wanted you to get to knowing without me around. Well, why, dear? Oh, come on, Mom. You haven't fooled me a bit. Don't you see? I wanted you to find out by yourself how wonderful he is and thoughtful and sweet. Well, that's just what happened. Susie, I don't understand. Of course you do. You know now how I feel the way I do. It's just the way I wanted it to happen. Now, you know why I'm in love with him. In love with him? Oh, and wait till you really get to know him. Well, but Susie, he's not in love with you. Well, he's very fond of me. It's just that he's shy and conservative. Oh, honey. Honey, are you sure? I mean, sometimes girls imagine things, you know? I was never sure of anything in my life, letting me help him correct papers, picking me to work with him shoulder to shoulder, just like the curies. Susie, has he said any of these things to you? Or are you just dreaming at all because you wanted to come true? Well, he hasn't exactly said them, Mom, but he's changed my whole outlook online. Honestly, not some silly schoolgirl swoon. Oh, Susie. Susie, I don't know what to say. I'll say it. Thanks, Mom. Thanks for liking him. Oh, Mom, I hate to mention this, but well, you know how Gossip spreads around the campus. Gossip? Well, naturally, you've had to be with Richard a lot since he's been coaching you, but I'd be sort of careful about seeing him. They'll be saying that you have a crush on him next. You understand? Yes, dear. I understand. After all, you're only here temporarily. It isn't really your life like it is mine. Susie? Susie, I want to tell you something. I want to explain something. You don't have to explain a thing to me, Mom. Not a thing. You're swell. Oh, I've got a dash. See you later, Doc. Susie! It's all right, Pula. I'll get it. We've got to be awfully careful. You mean I shouldn't kiss you like this? That'd be your shivering. I don't think it's from Nicole. Come on inside. Richard, everything has gone wrong. Now, that is a ridiculously broad statement. Now, what do you mean by everything? Us. Yes. Now, if you'll spill the beans about the way I snore, I'll fire up. Don't joke, please. Besides, I'm very kind of... Please don't joke, Richard. I'm sorry, Abby. What is it? It's Susan. Something happened to her? Yes. Something incurable, I'm afraid. It seems that everybody at Pointer knows about it except you. She's in love with you. Oh, Abby. For a minute, I thought it was something really serious. You know, I had a puppy once, and these kids remind me very much of him. Maybe that's why they call it puppy love. No. No, I don't think so, Richard. I did think it first when she first... No, I don't. Oh, Abby, all these sprouts get crushes. It's like the measles. They get over it. It doesn't mean anything. She's only 17. Oh, darling, I was married when I was 16. But it's not the same, Abby. You're a big girl now, and I'm a big boy. We belong together, don't we? Yes. I want to marry you. You can't expect me to take Susan's artist seriously. Abby, I love you. I love you, too, darling. I want you to be happy. I want to be happy. I know. We've got a right to be happy together, haven't we? Yes. Then don't fight it. Let yourself go. Go along with it. It's so simple. Now you give up this freshman nonsense, huh? No, I can't. Not yet. Not until February. Abby, marriage makes me the breadwinner, remember? Yes. Now, I'll see that Susan stays in college. Then we tell her and get married, huh? We tell her. We tell her. Yes. Tell her what, Richard? That her mother's a rival, that you prefer me to her, and anyway, she's just a silly schoolgirl? I don't know. Maybe I'm just being maternal, but I think that's pretty hard to take. Oh, Richard, it isn't as simple as that. That's not going to solve her problem. You see, to her, it isn't a crush. It's real. And being real is the most important thing in her life. Yes, Abby, that's right. But you're the most important thing in my life. We've got to give Susan a chance to grow up. Oh. You can't treat her like a swaddling child. You know, when she was a little girl, she got a crush on her father, right? Yes, that's right. She did. But then all little girls do that. That doesn't mean anything. Exactly. And sooner or later, became a dead issue. Susan matured. Now she picks on her profit college because she's the closest thing to her first love. And finally, when that becomes a dead issue, she falls in love with some muscle-bound lethario. Thinks she's creamy, dreamy. Marries him and starts raising little girls who, in turn, will get a crush on him. It's a pattern of life, Abby, and you cannot protect Susan from it. Oh, I don't suppose I can, Richie, but I... I just got to try. You've already tried. Now give me a kiss and let's forget all this nonsense. Oh, my God. For the sophomore criterion, huh? Well, naturally. Well? Well, what? Well, who's taking you? Oh, no. Not... not Professor Michaels. Don't be childish. Richard wouldn't be found dead at a student dance. I'm going with Bo Jackson. You know something? I'll bet if Dickie did go, he'd take Abigail Fortitude. Abby? She wouldn't go to the dance, either. It'd just be kid stuff to her. Miss IG hasn't got anyone to take her. Oh, I don't know about that. Oh, you mean she is going? Well, who? Well, how do I know? Excuse me, Louise. I just remembered I have a very important phone call to me. Yes, this is John Heaslip. Who'd you say this is? Susan. Susan Abbott. Well, for goodness sake. Susan, how are you? How's your mother? Oh, fine. Just fine. Well, isn't that just fine? I've got some very good news for her. Very good. In fact, I was about to run up there and see her about it. Oh, Mr. Heaslip, could you? That's why I'm calling. You see, we're having a big dance up here, and Mother... Well, she's all alone, and she misses you so much. She does? Well, isn't that fine? I miss her too. We were thinking maybe you could take her to the dance like you were her dreamboat. Yeah. Um, her escort, I mean. Oh, why I'd be delighted, Susan. When is it? Tomorrow night. I'll wire Abigail immediately. Oh, no, no. Let's keep it a surprise. You see, nobody knows about us, Mr. Heaslip. About Abby and me, that is. Well, thank heavens, we'll be done with all that nonsense when I get there. I'll see you tomorrow night, Susan. Goodbye. Well, aren't you coming, Abby? Professor Michael's just dismissed us. Or didn't you notice? Well, there's something I have to ask him. Excuse me, Louise. It's getting to be a habit, isn't it? Richard? Hello, I'm... I just wanted to tell you I can't go to the dance with you tonight. What do you mean you can't? What are you? A woman or a mouse? Oh, I'm a mother. And I just can't hurt Susan, darling. I just can't. Well, what do you want me to do? Marry her for pizza? Oh, no, of course not. But you don't understand. She's got a date, hasn't she? Yes, I told you. Now I'm telling you, you'll be ready by eight o'clock as they'll help me, Hannah. There'll be a scandal in that dorm when I come up after you. And what do you want? Oh. Me? Well, I just wanted... Excuse me, please. Hey, is she sure left in a hurry, Professor? One wisecrack out of you, Buster, and there'll be a permanent vacancy at left tackle all season. Uh, yes, yes, sir. Good evening. May I help you? I'm John Heaslip. This is the freshman dormitory? For women. Naturally. I'm calling for Mrs... for Miss Abigail Fortitude. I'll tell her you're here. Thank you. Abigail, Mrs. Gray in the lobby. Your date is here. Yes, I'll tell him. Have a chair, Mr. Heaslip. She'll be right down. Thank you. Oh. Hello, Professor. Good evening, Mrs. Gray. Would you tell Mrs. Fortitude I'm here, please? Uh, well, yes, yes. Yes, have a seat, Professor. Mrs. Gray again. I think you'd better come right down, Abby. It's getting a little crowded. We pause now for station identification. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. In a moment, we'll bring you act three of Mother is a Freshman. Here's your producer, Mr. William Keely. The curtain rises on the third act of Mother is a Freshman, starring Loretty Young as Abigail and Van Johnson as Richard. Well, it's a moment later. And in the lobby of the freshman women's dormitory, two gentlemen, both waiting for Abigail Fortitude, happen to look at each other. Visiting your daughter, sir? Not exactly. I'm here to... Johnny. Johnny Heaslip. Richard Michaels. Well, how do you like that? I don't think I've seen you since we left Yale. Twelve years ago. Did you carry out your threat to become a professor? Oh, yes. I'm teaching right here at Pointed. No. What about you, Law? Oh, definitely, yes. You know, for a while there, it looked like you were going to be a crooner instead of a liar. Me? Yes. A crooner? Well, you remember the night you climbed up in the bandstand and sang Bula Bula through a megaphone? They, uh... They did seem to like it, didn't they? Boy, were you lousy. Why, why, John? Abby. Oh, hello, Richard. But John, for heaven's sake, what were you... Abby, you look beautiful. Oh, well, thank you, Richard. John, what are you doing here? Well, didn't Susan tell you? No. Oh, that's right, I forgot. Surprise. For me? Of course. Oh, well, I'm so sorry. I had no idea that you... Excuse me, but do you two know each other? Yes. Obviously. Yes. Do you two know each other? Yes, yes. Yes, we were classmates at Yale. Oh. Well, it's been nice seeing you, John. If you're going to stay in town, be sure to drop in and see me. Thank you, Richard. Good night. Shall we go, Abby? Well, I... I beg your pardon. Well, this is my date, Johnny. Oh, he always was a joker. Oh. No, Richard. Abigail is my date. Are you kidding? No. Are you? Tell him, Abby. Tell him. Well, I... Oh, come on, both of you. Now, what's the idea? I've got to talk to you, Susie. Well, you can talk to me on the dance floor, can't you? If you think I can stand out here all night. Now, look, Sue. Gee, I'm in love with you. Every time I think of losing you, my heart gets like a hamburger. Oh, you. Can't you be a man? A man? Oh, you want a man, huh? Okay, baby, you've got one. What? My bones? Yeah, and I'll kiss you again. Understand? Anytime I want to. And as for Professor Michaels, I... Susie, where are you? She's right where she belongs with me. Oh, I've said Professor Michaels wouldn't be found dead at a student den. Well... Well, come in and take a look. He looks mighty spry for a corpse. This is our dance, Abby. Oh, thank you, Richard. Pardon me, Richard. It happens to be my den. I beg your pardon, gentlemen. As a matter of fact, it's my den. Oh, you didn't get him. Thank you very much. Professor Michaels. Hello, Susan. Hello, Mr. Heasler. Good evening, Susan. Oh, I'm so glad you came. There are others who do not share your enthusiasm. Oh, what do you mean? I mean, your mother already had a date with this gentleman. Oh, she couldn't have. Oh, excuse me. But don't worry, John. I'll be back. Isn't it? Oh, yes. Yes, a little. Like dog-patch on Sadie Halkins' day. Indeed. Oh, it's you. Thank you, my dear. You're welcome. All right, darling. Now, just what has Johnny Heasler got to do with you? Oh, he's the family lawyer. Old faithful. Is that why you tried to break our date? Why, you wretched. I didn't even know he was coming. Is he in love with you? Yes, madly. Why? Are you jealous? You bet I am. And that guy tries anything romantic. Sorry, Michaels. I'm cutting in. You have to hold us so close to you. Really, Abby? You want to be ashamed. What? Leading the poor fellow on. He's ruining for you. Right here in public. Do you think so, John? It's absurd. You can't put aside your life like this and pretend to be a college girl. Anyway, the farce is over. I have some money for you. Oh, now, John, I told you before. Oh, I'm not lending you money. You sold some stuff. You have $5,000 to your credit. But I... Cut. Oh, hello, Beau. See you later, John. Abby, no, wait. Well, Fortitude, I only cut in because I want to warn you. What about, though? Well, it's about Susan Abbot. She's been blowing her top ever since you and the professor arrived. She pretty sore at you. Oh, thank you, Beau. Come on, we better find her. Susan, dear, I want to speak to you. Mother! Oh, how quick, how quick! Mother! Mother! Is she nuts? Did you hear what she called you? Her mother! Yes, Beau, that's right. You? Holy smoke. Pardon me. Oh, sure. Her mother. Well, what gay little piece of news did Mr. Heeslop have to tell you this time? Well, he said there's no need for my staying at Pointer any longer, but I have money now. He wants me to go home, Richard. Home? Yes. Home to what? Home to him? He's crazy. The professor's wife. This is your life now. It becomes you. Oh, Richard. I really have a headache this time. Do you mind if we leave, Richard? Going somewhere? Good. I'll come along. Sure, let us know when I drop you off home. Take to the station, Abby. There's a train at 12. Heeslop, your train's way off the track. Abby is not leaving here. Oh, no? No, we're going to be married. And if I hear any more talk about leaving and trains, a block is going to be knocked off. You don't say. Yes. May I remind you, Michael, that during our undergraduate days I was intercollegiate middleweight champion. Oh, stop it. Both of you. You heard her, Heeslop. Here's the dormitory, darling. Abby, I shall be waiting at the inn. Call me when you're ready. Good night. You'll wait a long time, Heeslop. Good night, Abby. I'll see you in class tomorrow. Good night, Richard. Good night, sir. Yeah, and if you hadn't been middleweight boxing champion, I'd knock your block off. Is that you? That's the kissing oak, Susan. That's no place for tears. Why aren't you in there dancing? I just waited to see mother. She's all right, isn't she? She's leaving. Leaving? Well, then we've got to stop her. No. Susan, please help me. You love her, don't you? Well, I love her even more. Don't you realize what she's meant to my life? I'd have wound up a broken down bachelor. But Abby's changed all that. She's given me a chance to live. And it's got to be for her sake, too. No, that's not so. For years now, you've been her life. But you're grown up now, Susan. Please help me, won't you? Why should I? I am all grown up, and I'm in love with you. Don't you see that? I don't think you even know the meaning of the word. I do love you. Why should I give you up? Your mother loves me, too. And she's giving me up. You see, Susan, that's the difference between a woman and a child. Oh, leave me alone. Please, leave me alone. Thank you, Mrs. Gray. I certainly don't understand why you're leaving us like this. Well, don't be alarmed. I'll phone Dean Gillingham tomorrow and explain everything. You can't go, you mustn't. Please, please, Richard. It's no use, really. Abby, listen. Remember Mr. Shakespeare? Oh, don't. Remember that sonnet we worked on? Presume not on thy heart when mine is slain. Thou gavest me thine not to give back again. Oh, don't. Please, don't, Richard. It's all so... My dear. Mother, I was wrong. Don't leave us. Don't go away. Oh, Susie. Susie, do you mean that? Well, if I can't have him, at least let's keep him in the family. Oh, Susie. And don't worry about me, mother. I'm all right. I'm fine. Darling, wait a minute. Let her go, Abby. That's the way she wants it. Oh. I guess so. Well, Abby, she grew up tonight. Yes. Hey, lady, you'd better hurry if you want to catch that train. Train? Oh, my goodness. John, he's lived. At the station? Yes. Come on, we'll wave goodbye to him. All right. Pete's safe, Susie. Hello, Bo. I've been going screwy trying to find you. Gee, you look beautiful, Susie. Thank you, Bo. But where have you been? The last dance is just starting. Oh, then I guess we'd better dance it. Oh, gosh, Susie. But aren't you overlooking something? Huh? We're standing under the kissing oak. Susie. Holy smoke. What's happened tonight? Very well, Abby, but I still insist you're making the mistake of your life. Really, John? Think. Think before you take this step which you will regret as long as you live. I throw them off the jib. Send her a letter. He's left your train of star. Yes, but Abby. Think, Abby. Think. Goodbye, John. Goodbye. I'm not going to tell you. I'm not going to tell you the deep dark chapters in my life. But there's one thing about me. I'm afraid you really should know about. Oh, what? You remember that book, The Grave Digger and the Chambermaid? Yes. Well, who wrote it? John St. John, wasn't it? Abby. I am John St. John. No! Yes, I wrote it. Oh, Richard! Well, I have a confession to make to you, too. What? I read it. Oh, no! Twice! No! I made this anniversary a joyous occasion. And here they are again, Loretta Young and Van Johnson. Congratulations to you both on a wonderful performance. Thank you, Bill. And we'd like to wish you many happy returns on the 15th birthday of the Lux Radio Theatre. It's the same for me, Bill. You've made a splendid record. Well, thanks. And speaking of records, Loretta holds one that we're very proud of. I bet she's the loveliest freshman ever to appear in the Lux Radio Theatre. You are right, Van. But I had another record in mind. This is Loretta's 22nd appearance here. And every one a hit. Oh, thank you, Bill. And after 22 appearances here, I can still see the thing about Lux soap that I said of my first appearance. It's my favorite complexion care. Thank you, Loretta. Van, we've heard some wonderful reports about your new Metro-Golden Mayor picture, Battleground, the story of the Battle of the Bulge. It was the most interesting part I've had in a long time, Bill. And it's rather fitting that it should have its premiere in the National Capitol on almost this day. Yes, I hope to be there. Bill, I was very much interested in what John Kennedy said a few minutes ago about your contest to pick the most beautiful Lux girl. You mean the most beautiful 15-year-old Lux girl, Van, or this 15th anniversary? I saw the local winners in the paper today. That's right, Loretta. Six girls born in 1934 have been selected in each of the 163 local contests. Paper is all over the country today. Carried photographs of the six lucky girls in their CBS station area. So everybody can pick the girl they want to vote for. And the voting starts today, Bill? Yes, and I want to remind everybody to remember just one simple rule. Send in your votes on Lux Toilet Soap Wrappers. Then the girl getting the most votes will represent her station in the big national contest. Well, you see, it's easy to vote, Van. You want me to give you a Lux Soap Wrapper? Certainly not. I've got plenty of them at my house. What's the show next week, Bill? It's a romantic drama with the most intriguing title, Van. The 20th Century Fox film, Scudder Who, Scudder Hey. And we'll have the original stars of the picture, June Haver and Lon McAllister. Scudder Who, Scudder Hey is a wholesome story for the entire family. And you're all invited to join us next Monday. Well, we'll all be listening to you. Start your 16th year, Bill. Good night. Good night. Good night and thank you. Leave our brother's company, the makers of Lux Toilet Soap, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday evening when the Lux Radio Theater presents June Haver and Lon McAllister in Scudder Who, Scudder Hey. This is William Keely saying good night to you from Hollywood. Loretta Young is currently starring in the 20th Century Fox picture. Come to the stable. Herd in tonight's cast were Rhoda Williams as Susan, Frank Martin as John, and Raymond Rowe as Beau. Our play was adapted by S.H. Barnett, and our music was directed by Louis Silver. This is your number, Kennedy. Reminding you to join us again next Monday night to hear Scudder Who, Scudder Hey, starring June Haver and Lon McAllister.