 A lot of credible prominent YouTube critics have already seen and reviewed Ant-Man 3, they got that early access, they got to tell you how the film is. That's good for them. I've been doing this for a long time. Here's my review for Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey. Couple housekeeping things before I dive into what is surely going to be the most popular, most talked about film coming out to mass audiences this weekend. One, I will be getting a haircut very soon, maybe the next time you see me as a matter of fact, so that's something to look forward to, that's something exciting. Two, you should probably subscribe to the channel if you haven't. Adam does movies as I post movie content, reviews, rants, whatever, every single week, and then Ant-Man 3 review is coming, probably Friday, as in like two days from this review. So please be excited, please look for that. It's the taste you can see. I don't know what that means, but let's talk about the taste you don't want to see, and that's Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey. Due to some legalese mumbo jumbo, this movie was able to be made, trademark expired or something, Disney still retains the rights to these characters based on the beloved book from the 1920s, but there was a period of time where the rights were up in the air to grab and do with, what a filmmaker pleased, and that filmmaker did something. Let me be Billy Crystal Clear with you. This is not really a movie at all. It's an experiment. It's a fun little aside, if you must. The film cost less than $100,000 to make. It was shot in, I believe I read, 10 days. It is really the equivalent of what I did in college, which was grab a bunch of buddies, take a long weekend, and film some dumb stuff, and we'll figure it out in post. We'll get the script right afterwards. This movie has no ending. There won't be spoilers outside of the spoiler this sucks, but the movie is so abrupt, so poorly paced, so quickly shat out to capitalize on the property name. It's, I think, an hour and 24 minutes? I don't even think it clocks in at an hour and a half. Now, I'm a stickler when it comes to time. I value my time enough to appreciate when a movie like this doesn't stay for two hours. It knows it's bad. It knows it needs to get in and out, so that's kind of a compliment, but also a negative because you didn't even finish your story. You ran out of budget or something. I don't know what the hell happened, but what a disaster. Anyway, the acting, it's about, as you can expect, schlocky B-level acting material. Some actresses do okay. The main one's not too bad. She's got some friends, though, that really ham it up. They're in some scary situations. One of them's like, all righty then. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Well, maybe nine actors total. You have five or six of the friends that go stay at a cabin who are inevitably going to die as this film proceeds. They all look like they were maybe picked up on Instagram or TikTok. That's their acting resume, and yeah, we just kind of flew by the seat of our pants when it came to the filming this stuff. As for the 100-acre friends, we have Winnie the Pooh. We've got Piglet, who honestly looks more like Bebop from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles than he looks like that cute little pig I remember from the cartoon classic. They both wear cheesy, tight masks that don't have a lot of facial features to them. Winnie the Pooh is often bubbling and pulsating with honey out the mouth. That's kind of his thing. And I do appreciate some of the CG bees that fly along with them. They tag along like they're little buddies of his that he can kind of call on command to attack once in a while like he's in a Mortal Kombat game. Get over here! Winnie the Pooh wins. Flawless victory. Brutality. I went with brutality instead of fatality just to let you know I'm up to the current generation of Mortal Kombat games. I'm a gamer. I'm a player. Not in the whatever. Let's dive into the basic premise. We have Christopher Robin. He's growing up. He's not a little boy anymore. He's going off to college. He wants to start a life in a family of his own. So he says goodbye to his critter friends for five years. In that time, chaos ensues. It's bedlam. It's pandemonium. They have no food. They turn on each other. And all that remains is Poo Bear and Piglet. When old C. Money returns with his fiance to see his buddies, these are not the friends he left. These are not the ones he said goodbye to. What he's now looking at are cold-blooded killers. Murders of the highest order. And they really have nothing on their minds other than blood and occasionally some honey. That's it. The characters don't talk. It's just Piglet and Pooh, which makes me think that they either A, didn't have the rights to all the characters, or B, just didn't have the time and budget to make prosthetic masks for the rest of them. They also clearly didn't have enough story to get to a full hour and a half, so everything is padded a little bit more than it needs to be even. Whether it's an Instagram model in the pool, taking selfies, or just shots of the woods, where they clearly had one day with a kick-ass 4k camera drone, and they used it, dammit. And they know that was the good camera. There are so many kick-ass shots early on of that forest. I was even tricked for a second thinking, man, this has somewhat of a budget. I'm kind of impressed with this. That quickly washes away with the title screen that I myself could make in a half hour in Adobe Premiere. They used the same techniques I was using in amateur films back in the late 90s, early 2000s, with the like overlay half transparency video on top of another video. The font using the preset color burn. I mean, come on, guys. We can do better. Even the words kind of do that fade and fade out, that little f-gossy and blur. How amazing is that? It's a terrible title sequence with some of the most over-the-top music I've ever heard in a film. It's remarkable. It'll be these bad actresses kind of frumping through the woods, and the music's like, but it's just like two shots back and forth. All right, we forgive a bad story. We forgive bad acting. What about the kills? Is it terrifying your level while me over in this department? No. No, they're not horrible either. There are some great practical effects on display. Some of the kills are kind of cool. You do get the pointless nudity early on. Just one time, I believe. It's not great either. Comical though. He like pulls out the shirt and she's like, ah, I'm naked now. They are really abusing that day-to-night filter. I could tell a majority of the night stuff was shot during the day. You have sun pouring in through the windows, and they're trying to cover it up, but there's harsh light hitting these people. I'm like, that's not the moon. That is not the moon out there. Can you have a good time watching this movie? Yeah, but it's unintentional. You're laughing at the movie, not along with it. They should have gone the hotshots route with this. They should have gone the scary movie route, the parody. I know it's pretty much a dead art form now when it comes to cinema, but bring it back with something like this. And I think a lot of it has to do with the copyright issues or the trademarks, whatever. They can't have Winnie the Pooh in his red shirt with his tummy out, that's Disney. So they can't do a lot of the catchphrases like, oh, bother or a silly old bear, but that's kind of the thing people know about Winnie the Pooh. Are the catchphrases, tigger, little piglet, it would have been hilarious? There's so many ways you could have done this movie, but to just go straight schlocky whore with it and play it completely straight man the whole time, that did not work for me and the people I went with. We all sat there like, this movie, what is this? Who is this for? The best thing I can say about it is the title, Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey. That's fantastic. I love that. It's so stupid, but it makes you laugh because it's so over the top. Make the movie like that. Instead, it's just a boring slasher with these two characters thrown in and nothing else playing off of the material at all. I also have to point out one last thing in the story department. There are several scenes pretty early on where we do a flashback or there's kind of like a B plot. They go nowhere. They don't tie in at all. My buddy, Bless, he turned over to me a couple times. He's like, I bet that's the killer or I bet that's that person or this is going to tie in. I turn around and I'm like, it's not that deep. None of that's going to happen at all. This is a poor flashback to set up a premise to get these girls out of the cabin. Oh, she's suffered some trauma in her life, so she needs to move on and go be into the great outdoors. It's so bad. It's so poorly done. And again, they just had to pad out this story somehow to get to the carnage, which again, isn't that great and it's not that often. So to spin a Winnie the Pooh catchphrase, don't bother seeing this movie. It's not worth your time. It's definitely not worth your money. I'm sure there's good stuff on the horizon. Let's just wait till this is inevitably shat out on the streaming service in a couple of weeks and maybe entertain it then. Well, there you have it, the most anticipated movie review of the year. Full stop, Winnie the Pooh. Blood and honey, baby. Did you see it? Did you waste your time and money? Let me know in the comments below. Or if you didn't, why you're not going to go out and watch this right away. Day fun. It's a must watch for many people. Like the video if you had a good time and again, I encourage you to subscribe to the channel. Christopher Robin would want it that way. Christopher Robin says, hey, I don't have Pooh Bear anymore. I don't got Piglet. Well, I got Adam Does Movies and you could too. Join him and me. Why am I still ending this? All right, take care.