 We invite you to enjoy life, like with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Psy Howard and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J Carol Nash, with Alan Reed as the quality. Luigi Vasco left Italy to start his new life in America. He promised his mother that he would write and tell her about his adventures. So now, let's read Luigi's letter as he writes to Mama Vasco in Italy. Dear Mamma Mia, is it now a little more day of America? I'm gonna remember when I'm a first to come here to ask somebody how to go something. Get the lost. I'm gonna hear a one to hear. Hide to nobody. I get the lost by myself. Another thing, when I'm a first to come here, I think all Americans, they're talking to themselves. Then I find out that they're a tuna gum. So like every American, I chew gum, too. Only one the bigger difference, I swallow it. And then I find out that you're not supposed to swallow it. You use the gum to place it up in the chairs. You cover the holes in the shoes. To keep together papers. To fill up the cracks in the wall. And lots of other things. Mama Mia, I'm very worried. If they ever stop making a tuna gum, Americans are gonna fall apart. Well, is there nothing new to write to Mama Mia? I was very happy to read in your letter today that you finally received the little radio I'm sending a few months ago. Is it what they call here? Midget radio. But don't worry, salesmen have told me big people can use it, too. I know you're gonna enjoy this radio. But I want to think, don't let Uncle Pietro's goat to get near it. He's a libeler to eat it. Is it gonna look very funny when a goat is open up his mouth and out there's a come a Jack of Benny? Oh, wait, Mama Mia, I'm gonna have to finish it this letter later. It's a big win that's coming through my door. Luigi, my friend! Hello, Luigi, hello, hello. Hello, Pascuali. Luigi, a mailman is here just to bring you this letter out of my spaghetti palace, but I'm a think it's for you. How you know it's for me? It's got your name on it. What a thanks to Pascuali. Hey, how come this letter is open? Well, while I was out of my way here, I'm passing my tea kettle and the letter is accidentally steam all around. Ooh, Luigi, you and a terrible trouble. I must see you accidentally read it, too. What are you talking? How dare you have the nerve to think that, to me, honest to fellow like a Pascuali, is to read you on a personal or private mail? Well, if you don't read my letter, how you know I'm in trouble? My daughter, Rosa, is to read it to me. Pascuali, besides you and Rosa, who else knows I'm in trouble? Only the whole neighborhood of Rosa's voice is a carry a little bit. A little bit is a carry, 250 pounds. Now, let me see. Square deal radio company. Dear Mr. Basco, final notice. Unless we receive a $20 payment for last installment on a midget radio by tomorrow, we shall bring a suit against you in the smaller claims of court where we shall oppress the charges. Mamma mia, they're going to oppress my suit in the court. Take it easy, Luigi. Be calm. Relapse. But just to tell you, friend of Pascuali, what's happened? Well, Pascuali, six months ago, I'm buying radio for $22 on a time. I'm going to pay off $11. So you owe them $11? No, I'm going to have the other $11, so the company is refinancing the radio. With interest to charge, your service to charge, and the loan that they're giving me to make the first payment, I now owe them a $29, or I did owe them a $29. I'm going to pay them a $15. So you owe them now a $14? No, I'm going to have the other $14, so they refinanced again. So $14 with the first 11, with the cost of a radio, which is a 22, with interest to charge, I owe them $80. Luigi, why people have got to go looking for oil wells when they just cannot do business with a U? Believe me, you're a one-man or one-martial of plan. But Pascuali, I'm already making $3, $20 payment. I'm asking them to wait to finalize the payment. Why do they send me a letter like this? I don't know. It seems to me once you pay for that radio, the company's got to go out of business. Pascuali, what does this mean here on the letter? Smaller claims a court. Is it because they've got a smaller claim against me? What a booby you are. Lucky you've got to meet this plane of these things. Smaller claims a court. That's for people who know how to make payments on a smaller radio. I can teach you lots of things about a court. For instance, if somebody is a sue you about a banana, they go to the Court of Appeals. Come on, I'm here, please, Pascuali. I'm going to want to go to court. Luigi, you know I'm going to get the heart to see you right to the jail. I'm going to give you the $20. Pascuali, you're going to do this for me? Sure, little punk in the head. Now I'm going to do you a favor. You do me a favor. And, Pascuali, I'm not going to marry your daughter, Ross. All right, then, no favor from me. After you pay the radio company so much money, the measly $20 you're going to lose all the money you paid in, they're going to take them back to your radio. Pascuali, I wish I could have given back to the radio and end all of this trouble, but is it impossible? The radio is in Italy. I'm a sender to my mom and me for present. Oh, it's Italy. Luigi, you're in the worst trouble of your life. What's the matter, Pascuali? Don't you know that sending a radio to the Europe has to break the three big United States laws? Mason, addiction law, daylight saving of time, and the NRA. NRA, what's it at? No radios abroad. Well, Pascuali, it's time for my night school to class, and I'm going to ask you advice from my teacher, Miss Spock. All right, go, go, go, but don't expect to no helper from me when you come crawling back with your hands out of your knees. All right, good boy, good boy, Pascuali. Well, this is a teacher-may lesson. The next time I'm going to buy something and an installment of the plan, I'm going to make it the last payment at first. All right, class, class, why please? Please, now I'll call the roll. Mr. Basco? Here. Mr. Harwitz? Here. Mr. Olsen? Here. Mr. Schultz? Here, here. Mr. Schultz, why are you saying here, twice? I'm saying one for tomorrow, because I expect to be absent. You expect to be absent. What's the reason? Well, I could tell a big lie and tell you I'm going to the baseball game, but I'm going to tell you the truth, and say my grandmother died. Well, I'm very sorry to hear that. Will you be gone all day? Oh, yeah, it's a double-header. What? My grandfather died, too. Mr. Schultz, I'll expect to see you tomorrow night. Why couldn't I keep my big mouth shut? I was way ahead with my grandmother. Enough of that, Mr. Schultz. Now, class, before I begin our lesson for today, are there any questions on yesterday's work? Mr. Basco? Mr. Spaulding, what's the smaller claims accord? A small claims accord. Mr. Basco, we didn't discuss that yesterday. Then maybe we discuss it today. A discussion on a small claims accord. Now, Mr. Basco, what can you possibly get out of that? A squalor says the 20 years are too long. Louvige, what kind of trouble have you got now? Well, I haven't got so much trouble making the last payment out of my radio. I owe them a $20. Oh, installment buying? Oh, you've got to be so careful what you buy, Louvige. Take my brother Wolfgang. He bought a television set with installment. Really? Well, boss, I screen, boss. What's the difference? For the first year, the only thing he's seen is the repairman. Mr. Basco, did you say that the radio company is going to sue you in the small claims accord? So what are you going to do, Mr. Spaulding? Louvige, why don't you go and see Alderman Johnson? You're all right, Louvige. Alderman Johnson is just like that with every origin town. Yeah. How do you think he's going to help me? Why, sure he will, Louvige. My cousin Wolfgang wasn't working for two years, and he went up to see Alderman Johnson. Did he just found him a job? No, but he doesn't have a job. He doesn't have a job. Did he just found him a job? No, but he made Wolfgang number one on the unemployment insurance line. Smile, Louvige. I'm just trying to cheer you up. Well, thanks, thanks, sir, class. I'm going to go see the Alderman now. Maybe he'll help me out. That's the spirit, Louvige, and don't look so depressed. Smile. Remember, if you let her smile with your umbrella, you can walk in the worst rainstorms, and I guarantee you'll die of pneumonia. Well, sure, sir. Sure, sir, you've got to be worried. Now, don't be a scaredy-cat, Louvige. Even if you don't pay the company the $20, what can they do it to you? Can they take away your furniture? Can they close up your store? Can they clap you in jail for 10 years? Sure, sir, can they? Why not? It's a free country. Hello, Mr. Alderman Johnson. Oh, hello there, Kaluchi. Come right in. Kaluchi? Please, my name is Vasco, Louvige Vasco. Oh, change your name, eh? Cops after you? Cops? Don't worry, Kaluchi, we'll beat the rat. Where are you hiding out? Hiding out. Come, I guarantee you'll die of pneumonia. Great spot. I'll never think of looking for you there. Hold on, Mr. Alderman Johnson. Don't you remember me? Louvige Vasco. I guarantee you'll die of pneumonia. And in the wind, there is a picture of honest Abe. Oh, yes! Your next honest Abe, the used car dealer. Wonderful guy. Where's he hiding out? Please, please, Mr. Alderman, I'm talking about Abraham Lincoln, one of the greatest of men who's ever lived. The greatest of all of Lincoln crossing the Delaware. I think it was the Washington across in the Delaware. Vasco, this is America. There's room in the boat for everybody. Please, please, Mr. Alderman, I'm a comment to you for help. Well, you've come to the right man. Everybody in the district comes to me. I'm like a big sister. Then please, Mr. Sister, I'm already a star twenty dollars less than payment on a radio, and they're going to sue me in a small acclaim to court tomorrow. Oh, that's right up my alley, Vasco. My buddy, Judge Mitchell, handles that court. Good old squinty Mitchell. I and I once served a term together. A term in office, of course. Hello, small claims. Get me the judge. Vasco, this is right up my alley. Right up at the alley. Hello, squinty. Look, I want you to do me a favor. This is Alderman Johnson. Don't worry, Vasco. Keep your shirt on. Keep your shirt on. Alderman Johnson. Oscar T. Johnson. Vasco, everything looks Jake. It's a look of Jake. What? You don't remember me? I'm a back in the alley again. Now, look here, Mitchell. I've got a lot of influence around here, and you can't fluff me off like that. Please, Mr. Alderman. I'll let the Jake put it back on his shirt. Look here, you squint-eyed ape. I help you get in office, and I can help you out. His name is Luigi Vasco, and his case comes up for you tomorrow. Does the radio company give you? Kill it tomorrow. Tomorrow, eh? Well, I got it fixed. Oh, thanks, Mr. Alderman. Yep. If you grab the super chief in a half hour, you can be in Mexico by then. And now, for the Sunday, Luigi Vasco's adventures in Chicago, we turn to page two of his letter to his mother in Italy. And I saw my mummy, like I must say, I'm very happy that you received the radio. But I also think, maybe you don't like it because the color is in no match to the kitchen. So you send it back, and I must send you something else. Like a dry store or a phonograph machine. They got a wonderful one here with the automatic record changes. That's a worker just like a magic. You just press a button and it's a smash of panel records at a one time. But of course, if you really like the radio. Luigi, my fellow pooper. What's the matter? You look terrible, Luigi. Like the bottom herring in the barrel. So I'm in a bigger trouble. Didn't Alderman Johnson help you out? What did he tell you? Well, eh, he just said I should keep him on my shirt. He's gonna talk to Jake, who's up his alley, and I'm gonna be in a Mexico in a half hour. Oh, Luigi, are you for shimmels? Ah. Schuster, is it no use to talk? I can't just stay here. I'm gonna go out and get a $20. Oh, Luigi, my friend. When I see you like that, I would like to give you the money. Oh, thank you, Schuster. If I had it. But smile! Where are you going with Alderman Johnson? But smile! Where are you going with that overcoat? You're gonna tell it? No, Schuster. I would never sell this coat. It's my papa's coat. And it means more to me than anything I'm got. Then why is it that I never see you wearing that? Because Schuster, is it not for wearing? Huh? You see, when I was leaving Italy for America, I would never forget that other day. All the people of my town, Castelamare, there was a down to the boat to see me go away. I remember how they all shouted, Goodbye, Luigi. Goodbye, goodbye. Then, then our mayor used to walk up to me, shake her hands, and he kissed me on the boat to Cheeks. Luigi! That's what I had to say. We got a lady mayor. Then, then the mayor, she would make a speech to me, and she would say, Luigi, your family, Basco, is living in Castelamare for 300 years, and now you're going away to plant a new life in America with all the fine seed that your family is to give you. Always remember Castelamare, and your family, and you have good luck there. Then, then she's a handmade envelope. I'm opening it up, and in the side is a saying, from the people of a Castelamare, and there was a 50 dollars in American money. Oh, thank goodness, I thought maybe there was going to be another speech in time. But, for a short, for a minute I was at just a standard there, no able to say nothing. Then I must say, no friends, thank you. I'm not taking this money. You need it. It's enough for me to always remember this today. Then, then when I'm going to get on the boat, my mum is coming to me, and she's going to say, Luigi, you don't take the money, but I want you to have something to remember. Then she's going to give me my papa's over content. I'm going to never touch it until now. Luigi, now I understand. You don't want to sell the code. You want to pawn it. Yeah, that's right, Jesus. And as soon as I'm going to get the money, I'm going to take it to court to write it back. You know a pawnbroker? Do I know a pawnbroker? Luigi, there is a place over on Dearborn Street. Every time I pass the window, it's like looking into my own living room. Come on, Luigi, I go with you. Maybe going to the pawnbroker will bring you luck. Oh, thank you, Jesus. You know my aunt Hilda, she went to the pawnbroker with her wedding ring. Did she get a lot of money? She is getting $25 a week and she's still wearing that ring. But how is it possible? She married the pawnbroker. Come on, Luigi, we get the money. Sure, Sam, I feel much better already. You're real friends. America, I love you. You like a papa to me. From ocean to ocean. You see, here we are at the pawn shop. Oh, look in that window. The sun is fading my love seat. They used to have Venetian blinds in the window to protect it, but somebody took them out of Hark. Well, Luigi's the one inside. Oh, sure, sir. Hey, are you coming in with the ring? Oh, no, no, it breaks my heart. Every time that pawnbroker drops ashes on my Persian Hark. Come on, Luigi, I made up that. Hello. Excuse me. I'm going to bring you this overcoat, and I'm going to like to borrow some of my money. Well, let's have a look at it. See how nice is the look. It's got a silk lining, and a genuine beaver collar. Yeah, let me see. I'll give you two dollars. Two dollars? Please, mister, you don't know what kind of coat this is. It's one of the finest in all Italy. Who has given it to me by my father, and here's a father that hasn't given it to him. I didn't realize it was worn that much. Make it a dollar. A dollar? For the mister, I'm going to have a 20 dollars. Look, mister, I got 50 coats. People leave them and never call for them. What am I going to do with all of these coats? Well, maybe it's going to be a call of winter, and you can wear them. Please, mister, I promise you, as soon as I get the money, I'm going to pay you. I'm sorry, one buck. Take it or leave it. If you don't mind, I'm going to leave it. Leave it? The coat? No, at the store. Well, Luigi, how did you make it out? It sure sure wasn't no good. He's offered me only one a dollar. Oh, what a shizzle, cop! But look at that love seat in the window. He gave me 13 dollars for that love seat, and half of it was never used. I've got to get back to my store now. Oh, I wish I could help you more. Well, thank you for trying it, Schultz. You're a real friend. Oh, smile, Luigi, cheer up. Remember what they say in the clothing business? Every gray suit has a silver lining. And behind every April shower is hiding altos. Well, Luigi, goodbye. And remember, smile, smile. You know, today it ain't so bad. Hello, Pascuali. Ah, I see you're coming back just like I said, like a puppy dog with his tail between his ears. Well, you got that $20 for the radio yet? No. So, I'm behind all about how you tried. Luigi, why are you running around like a crazy little rabbit looking for that green stuff when all the time I'm a sittin' ahead with this big head of cabbage? Here's so right, Pascuali. You're the biggest of the cabbage ahead I know. That's the funny thing. When I'm a sail, it's a come-out of dip for us. Luigi, why are you struggling so much? Why, you know, give up? You marry my Rosa. I'm a paid radio people of $20. There's no small acclaims of cost for you mamas to keep at a radio. All right, the donor marry Rosa. Go ahead, go to court. They export you. So somebody else is importing you. Then they export you again. Then it's import, export, import, export. Why, is your whole ambition alive but to be like a sardine? Please, please, Pascuali. I'm feeling terrible. Then you need somebody to cheer you up. Rosa. Rosa. You're making up his mind about you right now. Now you give him a little idea what to happen when he's married to you. He's to come home at night. He's open up for the door. What do you say to him? Well, Pascuali, if I was a you to marry her, what do you say? Luigi, that's not a fair question. I'm asking you first. Pascuali, isn't that the drama that I'm going to marry, Rosa? Is it just that I'm going to stay bachelor? All right, you stupid boob. You know making the last payment NRA is against you. That's all right. We'll see who's going to have the last to laugh. This is your finish. Pardon me, who's Mr. Basco? Greetings. What? A man of the army? Here, summons. Small train court. It's from the square deal radio company. Well, Luigi, what are you going to do now? You're standing in the lap of justice. Where are you going to get the twenty dollars, little man? Twenty-three eighty-five. He pays the court costs. Twenty-three eighty-five? Mum and me are now there refinancing at the summons. I'm survived. Wait till they start to refinancing in your life and you're making the payments under your jail sentence. Mr. Basco, mister, you're going to get the money. If you just wait a little while along. Oh, sure, mister. He's going to get the money, how? This is a broken down little businessman who's got a penny. Hey, Luigi, maybe you're selling the man that coat you brought in with you. Hey, that ain't a bad coat. Please, I don't touch the coat. Maybe you buy the coat and give Luigi the twenty dollars. That's a take care of the summons. Hey, mister, take your hands off of that coat. Don't get excited. Hey, this is nice. Silk lining, beaver collar. Well, Luigi, it looks like you've got a customer. He's going to buy. Yeah, fits me perfectly. But you've got a deal. Forget the summons. I'll take care of that twenty-three eighty-five and I keep the coat. Hey, Luigi, you made a deal. I'm a surprise to myself. Mister, take off of that coat. I'm going to never get a murder, but I'm going to like to see you out of my store. I'm not going to do whatever I'm going to do, but that's the radio. That's the way that my mom and me and the people of the castle are mighty. And they're going to be happy listening to it. What are you? Take off of that coat. All right, all right. Hey, what's this in the pocket? Looks like something is sold here in the pocket. Sold in the pocket? Let me see. It's an envelope. I'm open up. Hey, Luigi, you got some money as a fallout. Fifty bucks. Luigi, what's it say in the letter? Why you don't read it? Dear countryman, Luigi, today you live in Italy. You say you don't want this money because you say we need it tomorrow. Luigi, you're young yet. Someday maybe you find yourself all alone and the money is to help you out. Here, we got each other. That's some more than money. Always remember Castle of Mary and your family and you have good luck. Hey, there's something else in this other pocket. Here is a note. Read to Luigi, go ahead. Dear Luigi, what's in this pocket never take out always a lever there. Hmm, does it feel like could be gold? I look. Wait, wait. Don't touch it, Luigi. Look, you were gambling a man, I'm a gambling a man too. I give you twenty dollars a cash for anything what's in that pocket. What do you say, eh? No, no, no, no. Come on, Luigi, it's twenty dollars. All right, well, if you want it so much. Good, now give me what's in the pocket. All right, the Pasquale too. Two mortar balls. Then the Pasquale is against or NRA. No refunds allowed. And so, Mamma Mia, I wasn't thinking of things over and I think maybe you should keep the radio. Even if it's no match to your furniture. After all, the radio was an event by Italian a fellow Marconi and now he's been supported by two other Italian. Como and a Sinatra. And oh yes, yes, Mamma Mia, thanks for that money you put in me the pop is a pocket. It's coming very handy and I hope you forgive me Mamma Mia because I did something you didn't want to do. You write on a note I should not take out of a pocket but when a Pasquale is offering me ten dollars a mortar ball I could not resist. Sign to your lovin' son, Luigi. Tell the immigrant.