 Good evening. This is Ronald Coleman inviting you to join mrs. Coleman and me for the next half hour Welcome again to ivy ivy college that is in the town of ivy, USA Second perhaps on the list of well-known presidents who play the piano is William Todd hunter-hauled president of ivy college He never was well be a concert caliber, but he is a journeyman knowledge of Bob Bob Berlin Brahms Beethoven and Jelly Roll Morton He's quite modest about his musical accomplishments, and if you listen to him, you'll see why like gloves on Vicky it's nearly eight o'clock. We mustn't be late, you know What could she possibly do to a face to improve it? It's perfect the way it is Dedicated to Victoria Hall with love with love and kisses my darling How do you think I do as a nightclub piano player honky-tonk all? The dog who chased the kitten off the keys Doubles with triple flute his own tuxedo will travel You'd be sensational and I'd like to get into the act too. Well in that case We'll have to play the better these throws Yeah, I'll sit on the piano and sing torchy songs with a long salmon college chiffon hanky-tuff and half a pound of blue Eyeshadow wonderful wonderful. We'll build ourselves as all and crumble not good, but loud Darling, we must hurry it's 8 20. You know we're on the receiving line. Come on Tell me again darling. What is this faculty reception? Who's being received? Well to visiting dignitaries they constitute a committee Ivy College is being inspected for what? Political conformity sanitation possible site for a supermarket Ever hear of a Frenchman named Le Grand of the Le Grand Foundation made a fortune over here in cosmetic No, but it's a great way to make a fortune. They tell me just think the Indians painted their faces for hundreds of years And nobody made a nickel out of it Well that was when men knew the cosmetic when the spores began using it the men started selling it With the Indians as with every race everybody is out to make a fast buck That's an old Cherokee epigram I don't know how we got from Paris to Oklahoma, but what about mr. Le Grand? Well, he left a fortune to a foundation for the fostering of cultural relations between the United States and Europe particularly France one American college will be selected as a sort of Pilots plan to begin a program of exchange relations with French universities Visiting professors exchange students and so on Interesting, I should say that was something very much needed now Now more than ever the United Nations has given its blessings and how good are our chances? Well, they've visited the score or more of colleges and we happen to be the last on their schedule tonight They need our nice faculty and you think of that after 20 colleges. They meet you what a wonderful third act Vicky was you I was counting on Simmons who is connected with the foundation and a man from the Sorbonne named do Who will handle the French end I gather the real decision will be up to do Should we do anything to entertain them beyond this affair tonight well they descended on us without warning like bank examiners and Probably don't expect entertainment, but as a matter of fact Vicky. I invited them to dinner tomorrow night How about mr. Wellman at Wellman is in Philadelphia the city until now a brotherly love Oh You like to fly very obey him and cut us Simmons is another kettle fish entirely Sardonic and inclined to throw his weight around I've had dealings with him before he's an alumnus of Bowser incidentally Well, here we are the Faculties beginning to arrive We really look rather elegant and we're all dressed up don't we yes But I fear that the dim religious light of our auditorium conceals many a mouthful and shiny trousers Even at I vid the temporal rewards of scholarship are slim After you Vicky, I'll hold the door Mrs. Harden evening professor Have you and mr. Simmons had a satisfactory day, I hope everyone was cooperative Yes, I think it is safe to say that we are favorably impressed with the physical plant and with the general calibre of The faculty for that's gratifying. We're rather proud of both Ah, but I at least do not feel that I have the flavor so to speak of IV the Esprit What professor do I mean doctor hall is that we're interested in more than buildings books and professors We are trying to sense the atmosphere of place a little difficult to absorb I should say in a one-day visit In particular, we're convinced that the institution to be selected must show a genuine concern for culture in the best sense of the word Concern which is not External or imposed from above but which somehow permeates the whole student body. Yes, that is it We want to know whether the students themselves embody the ideals of the institution precisely The cultural test will be the cultural level of the students Their general outlook their deportments most of them remember is still in their team Even so our hope is to find a real community of scholars serious in purpose devoted to the cultivation of things of the mind Here at ivy we we like to think of ourselves as carrying on the glorious tradition of Plato's Academy of various titles I see him of the University of Paris in the days of st. Thomas and Albert the Great of Oxford in its finest era of the Cambridge Like To do you see you having William we must have on the basket ball game of course Good, I wonder what the score was Basketball game Do you mean to tell me dr. Or that all this disturbance is made because of a basket ball game? Some of our American folk ways may seem strange to you professor the wire but tonight our team was playing against Bowser college Your school mr. Simmons In France this sort of tumult would only be produced by politics Oh the lights what happens as if I didn't know how much to fail it It happens occasionally when we win here Like a match Let's find our coats the reception is over anyway. This is the way culture is permeating the ivy student body, dr. One way possibly Culture is often acquired in quite peculiar fashion A large and beautiful cultured pearl for instance is the result of irritating an oyster Which having a low great nervous system is difficult to irritate so Think how much better off we are with our easily abraded nerves Think of the pearls we are producing What a day this has been I've had nothing but bulletins of disaster Have they by any chance involved our two distinguished visitors? How did you know Marjorie Horton was just on the phone? She saw the most horrible thing a few minutes ago. Oh not again Some of the boys were having a snowball fight. Oh, I know what's coming And someone through a Texas Liga just as mr. Simmons and professor DeWire turned the corner by the chapel Which one got it? Mr. Simmons knocked his hat off almost got his head Oh Naturally it would Vicki the whole day has been like that our young men and women of culture have gone mad Those pearls I boasted over acting more like like gold fell Just when we wanted to make a good impression of course I can't blame the students for DuVoise slipping on the ice this morning, but Oh Must be quite a spectacle he landed right on his right on his well in his in his own geography to be somewhere around the Pyrenees No, but considerably ruffled in dignity Nature may have been to blame for that but when the alarm clock went off in the library reading room It wasn't what the lawyers call an act of God I suppose there's no way of convincing Simmons and DeWire that this sort of thing doesn't go on all the time No, I'm sure there isn't no by the band and hope of the the grand award I just learned for example that the day they arrived at Bowser the Paganini string quartet came to play and a student production of King Lear Opened the following night Matter that we've already had the Paganini's and very well attended to and that the dramatic society is in 12th night next month Not after today. It doesn't nothing We are Well, Vicki, let's just relax. Let's write this one off We can't do anything towards of the decision that I'm sure they've made Yeah, we'll just enjoy ourselves tonight Socialists all get out and not a word them about I the other foundation or the students I will pretend that the grand award is too bad Anybody who uses them must have their mouths washed out with money And I have always maintained doctor that some of the sciences are what would I say you're hampered by two technical language It restricts not only understanding but interest my husband has always believed that Mr. DeWire You should have heard him revise our astronomy professor's language. He not only brought it down to the man on the street He dug a ditch ten feet below that Well, I have to admit that the trend in both academic and government circles is toward obduscation Gobbled the cook I think they call Friend of mine dr. George Hedley wrote quite a fascinating ballad about it He's the chaplain at Mills College in Oakland, California. Oh, yes, the second verse is the one I love William Can you remember it? Oh, I don't know. Let me see. How does it go? Yeah? Oh, yes, then meaning is Holocaust your symbology life poured away in your verbal libation Study of neighborhood known as ecology love is a superorganic equation scholarships all questionnaire Contellations toss in the indices tournament cook all is permitted, but simplifications in sociological double-de-goop Going to the other room A delicious Denormous is all thank you. I could soon become a convert to American. Oh, too Anglo-American cooking. Well, it's wholesome at least we're going quite tall on it cigarette. Mrs. Inners or a cigar. Yes, that's very nice light Thank you By the way, yes, Dr. Hall. Yes We haven't mentioned Ivy College all evening. Although several times. I tried to bring the matter up That's what you want. I have several more questions. I'd be delighted to hear them For example, the background of the students Do they come largely from well-to-do home Culture They come from every kind of home Good average cross-section of American youth You and professor do well have now had an opportunity to see the college in the children. I I fear that you may not have seen them at their best, but but basically they are a splendid lot sound to the core And the cultural level here at Ivy is gratifyingly high The students still take an interest in things of the mind. That's why they are here But they aren't happy about it. I only wish you had the opportunity to meet more individually. I feel sure that I'll go to you. Please excuse me. Won't you? Oh, hello with her. Good evening. What'd you come in? with her we say Oh, not at all. It's perfectly all right come in you and Mrs. Hall of Metta. I believe certainly we have How are you? Fine? Thanks, Mrs. Hall, and I know our guests would like to meet you professor DuFois and mr. Simmons With a locket I'll do you do a whiz it was captain of our freshman archery team this year Honored the corpus so to speak of our recent discussion. Mr. Simmons and professor DuFois are visiting Ivy for a day or two Yeah, I know I killed the guy I hit with that snowball this afternoon. I'm sure sorry, but it was getting kind of dark and yes I am that guy I started after you to see if you were hurt, but you're a long way off Tell me with her. What is your chief interest philosophy perhaps? Of course, you've seen Bertrand Russell's recent volume on epistemology Bertrand Russell Gosh, no, I guess I must have missed that one After all, Mr. Simmons, we're just a freshman. Yeah Perhaps the classical languages are your strong point. Well, I had a couple of years of Latin and high school No, the scientists perhaps or the mathematicians Not too good at math Students don't usually choose their major field until after their freshman year, mr. Simmons. Yeah Literature that you're the type would feel at home in the 17th century. I'm sure you know the metaphysical port The what? Not literature Then it must be music. Do you enjoy Deb you see with her or are your taste more strictly classical? Gosh, Dr. Hall, I guess I'm kind of in over my head What was it you wanted to see me about we can go to the study if you like please ignore me I nearly thought this is a capital opportunity to make trial of the cultural level of the students of Ivy College It sounded to me more like an execution than a trial, mr. Simmons They go on with them. I wonder if I should tell This is gonna sound kind of funny, but well, Dr. Hall, you know, this is how we Yes, the intelligence had somehow reached me hell week. What is a hell week? Quaint survival of some of Ivy's more ancient traditions. Yeah, I'm getting initiated this week The boys at the house gave me the darndest thing to do This is sure gonna sound funny. Well, I'll out with it with that. I'm becoming a new to these things over the years At last year the students were sent to mow my lawn. There were 18 inches of snow on the ground at the time Gee, I guess I should ask Mrs. Hall Yes, the students often consider me a more accessible avenue a little more shady, too You can't back down now. Well, I do have to have it by the night That's a lot a baby picture of Dr. Hall Oh Students of Ivy do take an interest in things of the mind a wizard Never let it be said that the president ever failed to heed the legitimate request of a student But at the best of my knowledge, there is no baby picture of myself in existence. Had there been one I assure you I would long since it made certain of its destruction. Ah That's where you're wrong William After we were married your mother gave me an album devoted entirely to pictures of you. Oh, no Your mission will not be a failure with us. There are hundreds of baby pictures to choose from you come with me I have the album hidden in Dr. Hall study. We'd never think of looking. Will you all excuse it? Well gentlemen Hi And I think I'd better leave unfinished the little speech I was making about the cultural life of Ivy College You might have difficulty putting a note of conviction into it. Ah, but this is very interesting Do the students all feel free to come to your home on errands of this sort? Certainly not that they do very often. I should open up. In fact, the the students are really very considerate of us But whether I'm afraid it was was acting under a certain amount of duress But surely the office of president carries with it dignity How can you lower yourself to fall in with this sort of horseplay? Mr. Simmons and Professor DuVoire My point of view may seem strange But I do not consider that I am as you put it luring myself when I treat a student with ordinary understanding and courtesy and a small amount of humor There is no divinity that hedges a college president. I like the students and they know it They know I'm on their side. So they think they can get away with anything. Oh, not at all, Mr. Simmons Oh, no, you missed the point entirely It is just because I have placed no artificial barriers between myself and the students that they don't try to Get away with things Mrs. Hall and I are treated with unfailing consideration and kindness This sort of thing with the wizard is It's quite harmless. In fact, I'll find it rather amusing and whizzer is a very I think you chose the darling this word I'll be careful with it. Yeah, come on. Show dr. Hall which one you picked out. Well here Hmm I seem to have been a nudist in those days I Isn't that the cutest little curl over his forehead Wizard and I presume you realize that you have in your hand the powerful instrument of blackmail I am completely at your message. Gosh dr. Hall. I'll get it back to you Well, I I guess I'd better be going. Yeah, I got a chemistry quiz in the morning and well. Good night, professor And mr. Simmons very glad to have met you a good night Thanks for everything And a wither in consideration of the prompt return of this picture I am prepared to drop the first payment in bills of small denomination done up in brown paper over the hedge by the cemetery Don't worry dr. Hall so long Doctor you've got catch trade both had a pleasant evening, but before we go I think I can speak to professor Du Bois and with regard to the grand foundation. I want to be frank with you Dr. I think I know what you're going to tell me that there isn't sufficient atmosphere of culture of ivy to make it the ideal choice Precisely, you spared me the necessity just a moment mr. Simmons. This is one occasion when you cannot speak for me You understand dr. Orle that the final decision is in my head as you must know most of our work of Investigation was done before we ever set out in this trip Such things as academic standards of their own matters of public record Ivy stood well up among the colleges being considered So it became a matter of learning something of the spirit the Things which are not matters of public record one of the purposes of our experiment is to permit European students to experience What is best and most valuable in America what this country can? Uniquely give to the world and perhaps a foreign American better determine that than an American I see a respect for the individual as a human being without consideration of race creed or station Exemplified in the way that you would miss is all treated that boy this evening. I felt How should I say it a Warm a sense of mutual respect and friendship that Quite overshadowed the frivolous errand on which he came At times I take frivolity quite seriously But this is the kind of atmosphere which I would cover it for the students of unhappy Europe And that is why I have decided that Ivy should be the first colleague to take part in this experiment Paul if you can take it from a bowser man Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Well, you will of course receive formal notification, but that must be So soon. Oh, well, I'll get your coat. We are indebted to you, Mrs. Hall for a Lightfully me. Thank you. I'm so glad. Yeah, let me help you Wish you could have stayed at Ivy longer. We usually try to keep our skeletons in the closet, but perhaps another bit Thus is victory snatched from defeat a minor miracle, I should say no That's a major revelation party of you was an individual a French love Individualism, you know, yes, I suppose that was one of the reasons and I doubt if Mr. Duvall has seen any other college president even a picture of one lying nude on a rug waving a bottle Little girl indeed. I did have a certain amount of simple charm. Didn't I? I'm a starring Mr. Mrs. Ronald Coleman Carpenter speaking the United States Armed Forces radio service the voice of information and education