 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gilda Sleeve. The Sleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company. Before we join the Great Gilda Sleeve this evening, we have some exciting news for you from Kraft. It's more news about a new salad oil, Kraft Salad Oil. The first salad oil ever offered for your home use by the makers of all those wonderful Kraft prepared dressings. Wait till you use this new oil in one of your salad dressings or baking recipes. For Kraft Salad Oil is more than just a new oil, it's a lighter-bodied salad oil that blends perfectly with other ingredients, adds new magic to every recipe it's used in. That's because it's not just refined, it's super-fined by Kraft. Tomorrow when you shop, be sure to get a bottle of lighter-bodied, super-fined Kraft Salad Oil. Well, it's late afternoon in the Great Gilda Sleeve's town of Summerfield. The hour when the menfolk are closing their places of business. While at home, pleasant aromas waft out of the kitchen windows and float tantalizingly down the streets. Well, somebody's having pot roast. Hope it's us. Mr. Gilda Sleeve. Yo, Bronco. Hello, Bronco. Wait a minute. I'll walk home with you. You all right. You're fine, son-in-law. Oh, how was your day, Mr. Gilda Sleeve? You're fine. How was yours, my boy? Ah, great. Good. Hello, Bronco! Well, little Leroy. Oh, Leroy. Hi. Isn't this wonderful? The gathering of the clan. Link Armsmen will march home together. The camels are coming to la-la-la. The camels are coming to la-la-la. The camels are coming, Bertie. No, Bertie. The circus is right here in the living room. Hello, March. Hello, darling. Hello, Leroy. Hi. I dropped in Dad's bookstore today, March, and he said he'd like to stop by and see the twins on his way home. Oh, that's wonderful. Yes, indeed. We haven't seen Mr. Thompson for quite a while. He's a fine fellow. Is Mrs. Thompson coming, Bronco? Mother? Oh, no. She's home. Good. Yeah, I mean... Yeah, I imagine she has dinner to get to. Well, I'm going to run upstairs and see the twins, March. Oh, why don't you bring them down while I straighten up the living room a little? I'll help you, Marjorie. Gee, I'm disappointed that Mrs. Thompson isn't coming, too. Oh, so am I. I'll try to get over it. Now, unki... I'm delighted that Mr. Thompson's coming by. I've always felt a little sorry for him. He's such a kindly man. Yeah. I wonder if he's always been absent-minded, or if he got punchy living with that drill sergeant. Uncle Mort. Oh, there he is. I'll get it! No, I'll get it, Bertie. You stick with the pot roast. Hello, Mr. Thompson. Oh, there you are, gill-a-sleeve. You come right in. Glad to see you. Thank you. I knew this was the right house. I lose my bearings, you know. Yeah, this is the house all right. Oh, I knew it was, because the other three weren't. Little late, am I? Oh, no, not at all. You remember Marjorie. Oh, yes, my daughter-in-law. She married my son Bronco. Ew, brother. His bearings aren't getting any better. How've you been, Marjorie? Hello, Father Thompson. It's nice of you to come by. Well, I haven't been by for some time now. What's going on? Oh, hello, Mr. Thompson. Well, can this be one of the twins? My, how they've grown? I don't know. Mr. Thompson, this is Leroy. Oh, yes, Leroy. He lives next door. No, no, no, Mr. Thompson. He's my twin. Yeah, me, my nephew. You know he's got me doing it. Oh, here's Bronco with the twins. Hello, Dan. Well, hello, son. Hello, baby. Guildlessly, these are my grandchildren. Yes, yes, I know, Mr. Thompson. Do you hear that, babies? You're your grandfather's grandchildren. What do you think of that? Mr. Thompson? Well, most babies do. Uh-oh. What's the matter with her, Marge? Oh, they're getting hungry. Bring them out in the kitchen, Bronco, and I'll fix their formula. Oh, sure. I'll see you later, girl. All right, Bronco. My formula. Yeah, well, we'll be eating soon, Leroy. Mr. Thompson, how about staying for dinner? We're having pot roast. No thanks, Guildlessly. I have to get home to dinner. Mrs. Thompson is waiting. Oh, by the way, how is Mrs. Thompson? Oh, Martha's about the same. Yeah. Charming woman. Who? Your wife, Mrs. Thompson. Oh, yes. Well, I better go home. I didn't get to see much of the twins, though, Guildlessly. Well, Mr. Thompson, you should come more often and stay longer. I'd like to. I've always been very fond of you, Guildlessly, but you know how it is with you and Martha. Me and Martha? Yes. You two just don't seem to hit it off. Well, Mr. Thompson, where did you ever get that idea? From Martha. Oh, my goodness. Where did she ever get the idea? Well, I think Mrs. Thompson is a... Yeah, I think she's a... Well, they said a moment ago, a charming woman. Yes, that's what you said. Well, I've always gone out of my way to be cordial to Mrs. Thompson. Just to prove it, why don't you two come over soon? Tomorrow evening? Well, yes. Spend the evening with us and the twins. Yes. They are my grandchildren, you know. That's right. And when you and Mr. Thompson come, don't just drop in. Stay a while. Let's get acquainted. Guildlessly, we'll take you up on that. We'll be over. Yeah, good. Excuse me, Mr. Thompson, telephone? Just tell Martha I'm on my way. Poor fellow. I'd better sign these letters. Close the water department and get home. Yeah, I'm glad I invited Mr. Thompson over for dinner tonight. He's absent-minded. He's a good company. Say, I wonder if he'll forget to bring Mrs. Thompson. No, no such luck. Anybody here? You? Judge Hooker? Is the water buffalo still at the waterhole? Guild. Kill me and judge. There's still room for an old goat. Thank you, girlie. How do you like the poppy in my lapel? Well, say, I'll have to get one too. Yes, but I got mine early. Guilty old friend, wouldn't you like to improve your musical education? Yeah, Judge, don't tell me you brought your flute, Lillian. No. But guess what I have in my pocket? A hole? No, Guilty. I have tickets to the band concert in Kraft Park this evening. It's the opening of the season. Well, I'll have to hear it from my front porch, Judge. Oh? In fact, I doubt if I'll even hear it. Mrs. Thompson is coming over. Is she coming over? My sympathy. Well, Judge, I'm doing it out of friendship for Mr. Thompson. He's put up with her for 30 years. I can put up with her for a couple of hours. Splendid thing to do, Guilty. Yeah, I think so. But you know how it is with me, Judge. If I do say so myself, I go out of my way to get along with people. It's a commendable attitude on your part. If only more people were like that. Well, you can't expect everybody to be perfect, Judge. Uh, no. Well, I'm sorry you can't attend the concert with me. It's going to be a most interesting program. They've included my favorite number. You know? The Whistler and His Dog. I can whistle it for you. Yes, Judge, please. Yes, Judge, I'll hear it from my front porch. The potter looks very nice this evening. Yes, sir. When Mrs. Thompson comes in with those white gloves and rungs her finger along the metal, she's going to go find no dust. Yeah, that's right, Bertie. Let's everybody be on our toes. I just remembered. What's the matter, Marjorie? Well, I better run up and put on that blouse she gave me. You're the one with the strawberries on it? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Anything special you want to have the kitchen this evening, the skill set? Well, it would be nice to serve something around 10 o'clock. That's pretty well accepted as a hint to go home. Yes, sir. It would be too much trouble to make some prune whip, Bertie. Mr. Thompson likes it. Oh, no, sir, that's easy. I just toss it in the mixer. Yeah, good. That and some coffee and cookie should round out the evening. Yes, sir. Bye, George. This is painless. I should have done this a long time ago. For Mr. Thompson's sake. Aunt. Yeah, what is it, Leroy? It's Friday night. Can I go to the movies? Leroy, this is the night that Thompson's are coming. I know. Can I go to the movies? Leroy, don't you want to see Mr. and Mrs. Thompson? I've seen them. You? Please, John. Let me go see the Batwoman. Well, you're all right, my boy. Go ahead. Thanks, John. No use punishing the boy. It's very nice of you to entertain Bronco's parents this evening. Bronco appreciates it too. He knows his mother's a little difficult at times. I'm not really doing anything big. It'll all be over in an hour or two. Besides, it won't be bad with Mr. Thompson here. Knees are dear. Uh-oh. Here they are. I'll get it! Never mind, Bertie. I'll get it. We're here to give you a sleep. Well, Mr. Thompson and Mrs. Thompson. Good evening, Mr. Gildersleeve. Come in. Come in. It's been so long since you've been over here. Hasn't it? Yeah, well, it's been entirely too long. My fault. Hello, Mother Thompson. My dear, I see you're wearing the blouse I gave you. Yes, I am. Well, it still looks new. Apparently, you don't wear it often. Well... Yeah, it's a little early for strawberries, you know. Shall we step into the parlour so I can close the door? Oh, I forgot, Gildersleeve. I left Martha's suitcase on the stoop. Yeah, well, really, you Martha's suitcase! Edward conveyed your invitation to come and stay a while, Mr. Gildersleeve. You stay a while. You suitcase? Oh, yes. Come in, Mr. Thompson. Oh, I can't stay Gildersleeve. In fact, I left the motor running. You did? Yes. I have to be out of town until tomorrow night. So Martha's accepting your invitation for us. You what? You, I mean... Wonderful. Great. Isn't it? I'll bring Martha's suitcase in. Edward, let Mr. Gildersleeve carry it. He's big. Oh, yes. Yeah, I'm big. Big stoop. You have an ocean to carry it out the back way and keep running. Great Gildersleeve will be back in just a moment. It's lighter-bodied. It's super-fine. It's craft salad oil, the first salad oil ever offered for home use by the makers of all those wonderful craft-prepared salad dressings. Yes, you women who pride yourselves on your own special homemade salad dressings now have something new and wonderful to work with. Now, you know in advance that any salad oil offered to you by craft is bound to be good, but craft salad oil is more than just a good oil. It's a new kind of oil, a lighter-bodied oil made to blend perfectly with other ingredients. That's because craft salad oil is not just refined, it's super-fined by a special process created by craft. You'll find craft salad oil not only wonderful for your homemade salad dressings, but also for those grand chiffon cakes you make. In fact, for every recipe you have that requires liquid shortening. So don't wait to try this new craft salad oil. Remember... It's lighter-bodied. It's super-fined. Get craft salad oil tomorrow at your grocers. Let's get back to the great Gildersleeve. When he invited Marjorie's in-laws the Thompson's to come over and stay a while, he didn't expect Mrs. Thompson to bring her suitcase. But the water commissioner is inclined to look on the bright side, especially early in the morning. She'll only be here until this evening when Mr. Thompson gets back to town. He's already been here a whole night, and we hardly knew it. Of course, we were all asleep. Good morning, Miss Gildersleeve. Yeah, good morning, Birdie. Breakfast's coming up. Good morning, Leroy. Hi, Aunt. Leroy, why are you gulping your prunes? I'm getting out of the house before Mrs. Thompson comes down. Leroy, that isn't hospitality. You shouldn't eat until everybody's seated. You wait for the rest of us and say good morning to Mrs. Thompson. I met her in the hall and said good morning. It made me go back and wash my ears. Yeah, probably a good thing she came. Stand up, Leroy. Here they come. Oh, for corn's sake, do I have to salute? Well, good morning, Mrs. Thompson. Good morning, Mr. Gildersleeve. Hello, Bronco, Marjorie. Good morning, Anki. Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve, where shall we seat Mother? Why, opposite me, at the head of the table, of course. May I, Mrs. Thompson? Oh, thank you, Mr. Gildersleeve. Not at all. Fine day, isn't it? Leroy, I see you've eaten most of your prunes. Couldn't you wait for the rest of us? Well... Yeah, yeah, Mrs. Thompson, you get a good night's rest. Hardly. I hope the twins didn't keep you awake, Mother. It wasn't that, son. Mr. Gildersleeve, sleep is so essential to good health. Next time you buy, you should give more attention to the selection of your mattresses. You... I'm sorry. You lost some sleep. Perhaps you can catch up on it tonight. Yeah, you'll be home in your own bed tonight, Leroy. Ouch! Yeah, playful children. We always have a lot of fun at the breakfast table, Mrs. Thompson. Really? The breakfast table seems such a strange place to have fun. Yeah, well... Here comes the breakfast. Good morning, Mrs. Thompson. Good morning, Birdie. Sorry, I'm a little late, but I took special pains with the breakfast this morning. Well, Birdie, bacon, eggs, cottage-fried potatoes, waffles with parking. Oh, boy! It looks great, Birdie. Thank you, sir. And it's beautifully served, too, Birdie. Thank you, ma'am. Yeah, Birdie, some cook. Thank you, sir. Birdie. Yes, Mrs. Thompson? Don't you think your eggs would be fluffier if you beat in some cream? Yes, ma'am. And I stuck a fork in your waffles. I saw you. Mmm. Mother, would you like to start passing things? Don't go. I'm instructing Birdie. Zeke. Now, Birdie, the secret to light tender waffles is having the waffle iron hot. Yes, ma'am. Excuse me, I got to go get the hot coffee. You? Birdie must have dropped something. Yes. Well, will you excuse me a minute? Well, certainly not. What a noisy household. Yes, yes. Now, Birdie. Yes, sir. Yeah, I know, Mrs. Thompson, isn't the easiest person to get along with. But we'll try, won't we? The little family thinks your cooking is wonderful. You know that, don't you? Yeah, I'll help you pick up the bands in the silhouette. Yeah, I know, Mrs. Thompson, you're really critical. Would you like to tell us how to run things? Yes, sir. Who we can put up with it for today? Should we go on tonight? Yes, sir. Ma'am. Telegram? Yeah, take these, Birdie. Yeah, let's see it, Leeroy. Well, he's from Mr. Thompson. Mr. Thompson? Yeah, what does he say, Aunt? He won't be able to pick up Mrs. Thompson until tomorrow night. He doesn't know who Mrs. Thompson is. Now, Auntie. I'm sure if it went for Mr. Thompson, I wouldn't put up with it. Well, yesterday wasn't so bad. After that breakfast episode? Well, that's because nearly everybody got under the house. It's the first Saturday afternoon I spent at the office this year. Mother Thompson is a dear woman. I'm sure she's just trying to help us all. Well... You're just sensitive, Anki. She hasn't once ruffled me. Listen to that yell. Fine, healthy babies. Say, the babies are hungry. Yes, Mother Thompson. I'll feed them right away. Oh, good heavens. Surely you don't feed them every time they're hungry. Yes, that's demand-feeding. I know. And I heartily disapprove. Oh? Mr. Thompson, up to now, Marjorie's been very successful with the twins. Mr. Gildersleeve, are you implying that I know nothing about babies? You don't know. Look at my son, Bronco. He was a schedule baby. Well, either way, I... You see, Mother Thompson, Bronco and Marjorie... My dear Marjorie, you and Bronco are scarcely more than children yourself. Mrs. Thompson. Now, my dear, we'll put them on a schedule. I'll open a muser. We'll feed them at the... Did you hear that? Yeah, Marjorie. Control yourself. We've managed for two days. We can make it until Mr. Thompson picks her up tonight. Anki. Yes, Leeroy? That kid was by again with another telegram. Oh, no. Well, let's open it. Another day. Yes, Leeroy, and I'll go with you. Oh, yes, Mrs. Thompson. Mr. Thompson's delayed again. Where'd he go to South America? Yeah, Leeroy. Well, this presents a problem. My canary has to be fed. Your canary? I left ample food, but now she'll have to be attended to. I don't feel I should leave her home alone any longer. Well, there's no problem, Mrs. Thompson. You run up and pack your bag, and I'll back the car out. Oh, I wasn't planning to leave. You all right? Here's the key to my house, Mr. Gilligan. And a quarter for some birdseed. Birdseed. And you might put fresh water in her cage. Fresh water. And canaries get terribly lonely. So stay and talk with her for a little while. Oh, she's got me talking to canaries. Do you want to sleep? What can I do for you today? Petey, I want some birdseed. How's that? Birdseed, Petey. Oh, you have a bird on your hands, do you? Yeah, I'll say, and what a bird. We've had Mrs. Thompson on our hands for two days, and the Anne still isn't in sight. My, my. Now she wants me to take some birdseed to her house and feed her canary. It isn't funny, Petey. Yeah, I think it is. Out of the goodness of my heart, I invited the Thompson over for an evening, and then Mr. Thompson had to go out of town. We've had Mrs. Thompson with us ever since. And you don't care? Well, you care for some aspirin along with your birdseed? No, thanks, Petey. I'll weather the storm. I'll do it for Mr. Thompson's sake. And here's your birdseed, Mr. Gilligan. Anything else? Well, you might give me a tall coat, Petey. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think I'll set a spell. And we're no great hurry to get home. Oh, excuse me, Mr. Gilligan. To me? Yeah, thanks, Petey. Hello. Yo, Mrs. Thompson. You, you, you're dottling? Well, I'm here. No. Yo, I, I won't. Goodbye, Mrs. Thompson. Forget the coat, Petey. Is Mrs. Thompson hustling you along, is she? No, Petey. Mrs. Thompson may push everybody else around, but she isn't telling me what to do. Give me the key to the front door. I have to go through the kitchen. Yup. Yeah, empty milk bottles. I wouldn't put up with this for one minute if it wasn't for Mr. Thompson. He's so thoughtful and considerate. Hey, look at the dishes in this sink. You'd think she'd do those and put them away before she left. In a bologna ring on the dining room table. You were the housekeeper. Yeah, I wonder where the bird is. Oh, hello, Gildersleeve. Hey, sir. Hello, Mr. Thompson. Mr. Thompson. Yes. You remember me, Gildersleeve? You know, I thought you were out of town. Mr. Thompson, what are you doing in your easy chair with your shoes off, smoking a cigar? Have you been here all the time? Of course not, Gildersleeve. I had to go out and send a couple of telegrams. My goodness. Mr. Thompson, you don't know if you've been through the last two days. Oh, yes I do. Sit down, Gildersleeve. Have a coke and a cigar. Well, yeah, I may as well. Mr. Thompson, this is a sneaky thing for you to do. How far is it to the telegraph office? Gildersleeve will be right back. When you shop tomorrow, be sure to pick up a pint or quart bottle of craft salad oil. It's a wonderful new oil for your homemade salad dressings, your cooking, your baking. The first salad oil ever offered for your home use by craft. Remember, it's lighter-bodied because it's super fine. Lighter-bodied to blend perfectly with other ingredients. Don't wait to try craft salad oil. It's lighter-bodied. It's super fine. We have news for you, Mr. Gildersleeve. News? What happened? What's up? This doesn't concern you? Yes, it does, Anki. This is for everybody. We finally decided on names for the twins. You have? Holy cow, it's about time. So many people helped us out and we're very grateful. All our friends were wonderful. And here are the names we selected, Anki. Rhonda Lynn and Rhonda Linda. Rhonda Lynn and Rhonda Linda. Hey, not bad. Right, George. I couldn't have thought of better names myself. Let's see how the twins like them. Oh, Ronnie. Linda. They're beautiful names. Thanks to all of you for helping out. You're real friends. Good night, everybody. Played by Willard Waterburn. The show was written by Paul West, John Elliott, and Anki White. The music by Robert Arbruster. Included in the cast are Walter Ketley, Mary-Nay Robb, William Randolph, Dick Crenner, Jeanette Nolan, Joe Forte, Lee Keele, Earl Ross, and Dick Legrand. This is John Easton's a good night for the craft foods company, makers of the famous line of craft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gilded Sleeve. Next time you raid the icebox or sit down for a between meal snack, don't forget to add a little craft-prepared mustard to that cold meat you eat or that sandwich you make. For when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Add two kinds of craft mustard, salad mustard with that delicately spiced mild flavor, and craft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Have both kinds on hand. Then for extra zest in meat or cheese, just add a little mustard and you'll add a lot of tang by craft prepared mustard. Don't miss the Falcon each Sunday over this station. Check your newspaper for time of broadcast and listen next Sunday when Falcon solves the case of the unwelcome wife. Laugh with Groucho Marx.