 Check out this beautiful aesthetic YouTube background just kidding my house is a mess And it's because we are getting ready to leave for Ireland in a couple days And I wanted to talk about why we made a decision to continue to go on this trip though I have surgery coming up though It's gonna be slightly complicated by the fact that I'm on crutches So we actually began planning this trip a year and a half ago with two of our very very best friends I've never traveled internationally aside from Canada I love Canada But a consideration in when I chose my surgery date is would I be walking by the time that March came around So I had my surgery my amputation in October I was assured that you know barring unforeseen circumstances definitely I would definitely be walking at least a few hours a day by March and if you follow my channel You know what happened next I eventually found out that I had a bursa Which has then turned into more issues resulting from a fall back in December I'm gonna have to have more surgery my initial thought honestly was to cancel This trip for a couple reasons the biggest one is because I did not want to go on a trip like this Not the way I wanted to go on the trip. I wanted to be able to go on the trip fairly Independent like walking on my own not relying on crutches not relying on maybe Renting a wheelchair there if we want to go on like you know long walks or anything like that Like I can't really effectively do that It was really like a punch in the ego if that makes sense because I can do a lot of Hanging out here at home if I'm having a hard day and I was reminded of a book I read years and years ago. I can't remember the name of the book, but it was written by Donald Miller Who's one of my favorite authors. I'll link the book down below. I'm sure I'll remember when I'm done filming He talks about this idea of Living a life that we would want to read a book about like we'd want to read our own stories And if I think about that idea which I think about often and I don't actually think that there's a right or a wrong Answer in most situations because our stories are our stories But if I was reading a story about my life would I rather read about a character who did not do something adventurous out of fear or Embraced a cool adventure with people who love her and put her ego aside I'd much rather read the second story that's filled with a lot more opportunity Like I could sit at home and be safe or I could go do something different You know, even though it's not under the circumstances I want it's still a really cool thing to be able to go and I think it's gonna be awesome and even though I have some fear about certain aspects of it about Being on crutches and the I walk in a foreign country for two weeks It's gonna be okay And we'll figure it out and I know that I can rely on people and I'm trying to work on asking for help I'm really not good at that and I'm getting tired of working on it If I'm totally honest because again, it's been like five months of needing help and needing to ask people for help And perhaps part of this journey really is me learning that learning to actually ask for help and accept it and Squash the part of me that wants to do everything on my own all the time to my own detriment So that's why I decided to go on this trip. I would rather read a story about a character who decided to do it instead of not The frame did I tell everyone to go to Ireland for it 22 years Wind is crazy, but we are at New Grainge in Ireland and oh my god. It is like nothing else just Green and gorgeous and she's everywhere, which I might not sound like you're But it's definitely mine. We're waiting for entrance into a meal with a path it's Which is pretty cool She just got done with a couple days in Dublin and Brian is definitely best rounds with those sheep now And we're heading up to Burton port, which is a tiny little fishing village in the north of Ireland Gonna head there for a few days and just take it really low key head down to southern Ireland after that and Eventually maybe head back to the US. I don't know. I'm pretty happy here Brian is busy conquering castles amputee addition I'm waiting for my tea to brew here in Donningham County in Ireland and I want to show you guys what I woke up to Is working actually pretty great for getting around as long as it doesn't fall on your versa and hurt you like it did yesterday It wasn't it's it's unstable. I tilted it up against something and it fell over Onto her leg. I was in the way. It's frankly my fault so we met because what we met it like at home school school long story, but We got to be better friends because she called me to borrow my crutches because I was the girl with all the crutches You did have the crutches crutches will make your friends. Oh the light is Splatchy Like This is the Irish way to survive on 15 cents is it censored Figured out the money here. Yeah, very similar less salty a lot less salty also Americans just obsessed with salt Something I didn't really think ahead form is the fact that Overseas or traveling in general. They're gonna be different bathrooms, right? I think I haven't fully like come to terms with the fact that I'm Disabled or like different or permanently missing a leg I don't think that's actually sunk in yet And so I need to learn to think ahead a little more fully The first place we stayed there was a bathtub and like a takedown words are escaping me a spout you can Take down you can hold so I was able to like easily shower. It's in the bathtub. Take care of no problem But this place we're staying Their Airbnb is so it's been awesome to stay in like different different people's places, but this Airbnb It's like a giant huge open bathroom, and it gets super steamy super foggy super slippery because it's all tile and the Bathroom is just a big standing shower in the corner. That's again all tile and so this morning I took a shower and had to like finetal sitting and or kneeling on the floor which was super uncomfortable and had to get from like one side all the Way to the other and please know that this bathroom is bigger than the size of a door room like it's huge try to get the other side of the room while the floor is super slippery wet which entailed either hopping which I wasn't gonna do because I'd like break my other leg or Crawling like a dog got really upset because I don't like feeling Incapable or different or anything like that and I realized they're probably like a modification tools I could bring with me That would make this easier. Honestly, I don't want to I don't want to bring anything with me that would change a bathroom or make it simpler. I just want it to be easy That's like the honest truth. I just want it to be simple. I don't want to have to Bring a handle that could like suction onto the wall that I could hold on to that would make it easier I just want it to be easy I don't want things to be different or to be challenging or difficult, but that's not how life is right now Or is ever gonna be I'm always gonna have to think ahead I'm always gonna have to like plan bathrooms very specifically if we're traveling make sure that there are like modifications there that I'm bringing something and that Wow makes me really sad to think about Like it's okay. It's fine but also Makes my heart like plumb it to the ground. But another happy news today is St. Patrick's Day in Ireland, which is Freakin fantastic. Brian is super Irish. My best friend is super Irish And so we are gonna go celebrate in Ireland and I'm gonna do my very best to just forget about this If you've ever been that wind blown in your entire life, no, oh my god, we were just on the cliffs of sleeve league and You're taller than the cliffs of cliffs of more apparently they're less touristy There's like ten people here, but holy cow. I've never been anywhere so pretty in my life But our car is literally shaking right now because it is so windy I had to brace against the car all my crushes just to stay upright Brian caught me a couple times Because he's amazing but our friends are climbing rocks right now and we are staying safe in the car because No, not today death. So I just went for a bit of a morning walk and it's just feels like a different world out here It's so windy and so cold and just lovely and I realized that it really I'm having surgery in a few days and it feels like It's a different world. I feel like I can kind of like separate myself out in the different chunks and Pretend like nothing is happening like nothing is wrong like nothing is going on. I'm not sure if that's a Positive thing or negative thing if that's a skill or a negative coping thing or it's probably something that could be used for good or for harm because I'm having surgery in a A few days and I don't feel that at all and I'm not thinking about that and it's probably a good thing So I'm just gonna keep soaking up the time I have here and take care of things that we need to take care of when we get Backed at states They're like cookie crackers I wish they sold them in the US. It's kind of like a Laugh for a duel. Really with a glove. What did the five fingers say to the hand? I accept This is gonna turn this is gonna turn to a real garden fight. I was a Gentile Are you breaking? Are you breaking into places you shouldn't be? We live in Colorado where it's sunny all the time Ireland apparently rains constantly and I would live here in a heartbeat one thing that I've noticed here that they have in bathrooms I know some people say that things in Europe aren't super handicapped accessible, but In handicapped accessible bathrooms. See this right here. This this is like an emergency Thing if you you know fall over have issues. We do not have those in America except in hospitals So for handicapped accessible bathrooms 10 points guys, that's awesome In our final Airbnb spot in Kenmar Kenmar and holy cow Is there anywhere in Ireland that isn't gorgeous? We're right off the bay Right there so much peace here. It is so perfect and just wow and the only dvd Magic mic. Oh, they do have uh, they do have fox in the hound And magic mic or their priorities are here at the edge of the kenmar river. It's technically a bay the damn english Apparently messed that up But uh, I'm hoping to see a seal or an otter I think I slept in too late for that But regardless this is I feel like I should stop talking because it It's beautiful and peaceful and quiet and perfect Also, I feel like I probably used all those words too much in this video And it's probably gonna be boring for you guys, but I'm sorry about that because it's beautiful and peaceful and perfect and quiet I've been caught Brian's trying to skip rocks into uh Chaffee water. It's not going so well. I am making fun of you in my videos Because you're cute Hi We got to go exploring in the woods and found a waterfall and where it meets the ocean No death I expected to come on this trip and have a good time. Maybe have some challenges Learn some things about traveling the end Um, I learned a lot of things about myself, which I really didn't expect at all To learn I think being separated from your culture Because American culture is definitely different than Irish culture Is really beneficial. Uh, I think you get a different perspective or you're allowed the opportunity for a different perspective And there have been other things I just noticed like yesterday morning I walked out to the water for the first time early in the morning and I was just quiet that may not seem like a big deal people can be quiet I really struggle with it. I always have An audiobook on or music on or a tv show in the background or something like that Or i'm always doing something or working on something. There's always activity or noise because to just be quiet with myself Bring so much panic and anxiety and it's not like I can't um be alone. I love being alone It's the silence like I can't ever rest And I was able to do that here which is odd to me and also such a gift to sound weird I felt like the ocean and and the shore Yesterday morning was kind of inviting me into silence with it to just be and could just be for a second and I I can't do that usually. Um, it's something I think that is very necessary for humans, I've just Not been able to participate in it for a very long time because of everything that goes on in my head It was good to know that I still could do that given the right Time and place and circumstances and it's something that I want to continue to work on and I want to make space For quiet and for rest when I get home, and I have no idea how to do that But I'll work on it have one final day here Uh in kenmar, and then we have one day in Dublin and then we're headed home These are apparently ancient Woods and I'm gonna go ahead and say that they are enchanted and mysterious and I feel like they hold a million stories And it's cool to be a part of I'm not technically sure if These maneuvers are meant for the eye walk, but Sometimes I like to live dangerously by dangerously. I mean taking short walks In semi-controlled environments giant puddle Success something you may not know about us is that we're aquarium enthusiasts So we're the biggest aquarium in all of Ireland today That's what we're doing So we found a dolphin tour and we're going to have to navigate me over the side of a boat On the eye walk, but there's lots of strong men around so worst-case scenario They're gonna pick me up and carry me over which would just be, you know, terrible. It'll be great Good morning. All right. Well, my bag is packed now. I just have to get to clothes handy little traveler's tip for next time you travel or I travel Leave room for the things you're gonna buy like I bought a big fluffy sweatshirt and a couple things for my mom And you know, we're just gonna see if it's gonna zipper closed or or not I'm sure we'll get it. If not, look at Brian to to work his magic. He's like a god at getting things to pack Uh, but I will be on my way to the airport. Uh, it's like an eight or nine hour flight and then another like four hour flight And then we'll be home Back to reality snap back to reality. Oh there goes ready. Go see your puppies and kitties. I am Look like you're being held hostage. I'm just trying to enjoy my breakfast. You ready to go see your puppies and kitties? I am We heard about summer snow When it falls on you your blood runs cold, but don't you sweat your pretty skin Thanks, boston for having rock and chairs No, I'm picking my toes in there