 I've tried to film this video so many times tomorrow. I'm turning 23 I want to use this video as an opportunity to look back on the year that I had and What to look forward to going forward some of the things I've been reflecting on I do these videos every year So if you want to take a look at the videos that I've done for my 20th birthday my 21st birthday that my 22nd birthday You can all look at those in my birthday video playlist This year has been very unexpected in a lot of ways My channel blew up like what like what I was looking at it Last year this time. I had 7,000 subscribers. How crazy is that? for the last three or four years my my entire focus has been on this channel on this ministry and It finally came to a crescendo. It finally worked quote-unquote But what I learned one of the main lessons that I learned this year was Even when you reach those goals that you set out for yourself Even when you accomplish that which you so desperately wanted to accomplish for all those years It won't be this all-consuming. I'm perfectly happy now There's no trouble in my life like not that I really thought that but in the back of my mind I was always thinking oh once I get to that level once I you know Succeed at what I want to succeed at if I'm sad or if I'm down like I'll just look at my subscriber count Or I'll look at the views that I'm getting where I'll look at the message of the messages of the people that have been impacted Not that those aren't meaningful But ultimately I've been guided back to the mission the mission over the metrics It was a big lesson this year because there's so much joy and excitement But then when you get to those super high highs They no longer produce the the ecstasy that they once did like that that video that blows up your you're so excited Oh my goodness, this is so amazing all the work. I've put in all these years. It's finally paying off But then it's kind of like well, what's next? What are we doing next and it's driven me back to this idea of honing into my mission and what God has called me to I really I said last year. I believe maybe a couple years ago that I wanted to get More confident in my calling. That's been one of my one of my desires because I've always cowered in the face of questions because I Questions about what I'm doing with my life because I always felt inadequate and like I was Doing something doing something not that I was doing something wrong like in my eyes because I knew I was doing exactly What I was supposed to do but that other people wouldn't approve of it So I would always cower in the face of that and and I wouldn't be as confident as I wanted to be This year. I feel like I really Began to step into that begin to step into okay. This is this is who I am. This is what I do Another piece of that confidence was well. I started dating this year I started going on dates and that was something that I had kind of written off in Previous years just because I was so focused on wanting to make sure that my ministry my livelihood my my mission my goal my purpose It was gonna work. It was gonna like I needed all hands on deck to make sure that that was gonna go somewhere I I didn't really want to split my focus and so last year. I was the first time I kind of gave myself the Opportunity the ability the permission to step out there One of the lessons that I learned this year was the importance of stepping out Taking risks. I'm not a risk taker guys. I find so much My personality so much grounded in being quote-unquote responsible like I was always the kid growing up that my friends would like jump some sort of fence and we'd play be playing cops and robbers and I would be too like I'm chicken out. I'm like, I don't think we're allowed to do this guys. I'm not like a natural like let's break the rules Let's take a risk. Let's do this because I'm much more. Oh, you know pessimistic like let's play it safe here Let's but what I'm learning is on the other side of those risks and those those calculated steps into meaning There is so much Wonder on the other side of that and then along with that just because one of those Seasons or or or people or anything isn't permanent in your life doesn't mean that it wasn't meaningful. I Am so when I was younger. I was so attached to this idea that Things had to be permanent in order to be truly meaningful Like somebody had to be your best friend for your whole life and you see them every day And then that is like true meaning and then the end of your life. You're like wow That was amazing or like you're part of the same church your whole life And like you build like that legacy there or whatever or you have like the same relationship You have with with some like any of these things or an experience It's like it doesn't have to be permanent to be meaningful there are seasons in our life that can are designed to teach us something and that is Exactly what they're for like God places us places those people in our lives for those seasons those Experiences those those places and those opportunities just to guide us and help us learn for and like drawing us into the next thing Yeah, I learned a lot this this year. I think this year was a good year of of healing of of cutting off cycles of self-hate and Reestablishing new mindsets healthier mindsets and that that Being burnt out at the end of 2021 that was a big catalyst I feel like I did a lot of growing in just in the last month and I hope there'll be a lot more growing in This next year. Thank you so much for watching guys I appreciate you guys following my journey and I'll see you again another time