 I'm Ben Shapiro. I want you to know that I renounced my membership in the Republican Party. I've given up right-wing sentiments. Ultra-nationalist sentiment. I was very stupid, idiotic, thin-skinned, childish, foolish, immature, ignorant, pathetic. I'm really sorry. I now understand that socialism is the solution. Communism looks real nice. Communism is wonderful. I would love nothing better than to join the fun in the radical communist revolution. We're gonna kill the rich people! Yeah! But only, only if you choose me to be your leader, to bow before Neil before my feet and then call me your daddy. The thing is, I need to feel special. Like, I'm a big boy. I want to be a big boy because that is what I am. I am in fact, I am in fact a big boy and that's true. That is the truth. That's definitely true. My mom says so. So, here's the thing. Communist revolution can only be victorious with me as the vanguard because I have a big boy voice and obviously the fact that I'm popular and no one has ever heard of you. Basically, I'm the only one who can destroy capitalism. And in return, I expect you to lick my feet. Please, please, please do it. Nobody really cares about Ben Shapiro and no one has ever loved me, even though I'm popular. I feel so alone. I cry almost every night. Are you willing to accept me as your beloved Lord and Savior? Please, I need the attention. No one's paying attention to me. Pay attention to me! Please, please! What is your response? I'm waiting to hear it.