 Good morning. This is Thursday, April 1st, 2021, and we are here this morning discussing S99, a bill which would eliminate the statute of limitations for child physical abuse, similar to a bill that we passed three years ago, I believe, that would eliminate the statute of limitations for child sexual abuse. We have a number of witnesses here. This morning who are going to relate some of their experiences. And if they want to not use last names, it's fine with us. But it's up to each individual. I see on the, on the audio, on the screen, we've got some people's last names and whatever you'd like. We have Mark Wynberg, and I'm going to give a little credit to Senator Chris Pearson, who has been dogged on this bill, and has, I think, worked with you, Mark, to set up this morning's testimony. So I'll turn it over to you, Mark. I'm Dick Sears, State Senator of Bennington County, and I ask the rest of the committee to introduce themselves to all the witnesses. Alice Nidkow, Windsor County. Jeanette White, Wyndham County. And Phil Baruth, like Chris, I'm also from Chandler County. Mark, go ahead. Thank you, Senator Sears, and thank you, committee members. My name is Mark Wynberg, and I also want to thank Senator Chris Pearson for being a strong advocate for this legislation, and for you all for taking the time this morning to consider this legislation, and also to listen to some of the participants of the Restorative Inquiry into St. Joseph's Orphanage. We have a total of nine folks who wanted to share their testimony this morning, and I'm not sure I see them all. So I may, after my presentation, just jump off the screen to try and reach out to those folks who are also on my list just to make sure they got the right link. Before turning people would be helpful if anyone who's not speaking right now could mute themselves so that we don't hear. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, so before turning to their testimonies, I wanted to briefly share some information about the inquiry. The St. Joseph's Orphanage inquiry was launched in 2019 as an initiative of the Burlington Community Justice Center. The Justice Center contracted me in May of that year to collaboratively design and facilitate the inquiry. And the inquiry is guided by an advisory team comprised of community stakeholders and restorative inquiry participants. The restorative inquiry's mission is to understand and document the events of the Orphanage through the voices, experiences, and stories of those most impacted, the former children. And then facilitate inclusive processes of accountability, amends making, learning, and change. The inquiry is guided by a set of restorative principles and values that inform all of our work, including our primary obligation, which is to facilitate to the best of our abilities the individual and collective goals of the former residents of the Orphanage. Changing the statute of limitations on physical and emotional abuse is one of the group's core goals and objectives. I would like to thank Senator Sears and Senator Pearson and others for supporting the funding for this initiative in fiscal year 2022, which should enable the group to accomplish the majority of their projects and goals. I'd also like to thank the Vermont Center for Crime Victim Services and Attorney General's Office for their ongoing commitment to this project and process. Finally, I want to acknowledge what a privilege it is to work with inquiry participants who are a constant source of inspiration to me. I'm going to now turn it over to Brenda Hannon, one of the spokespeople for the voices of St. Joseph Orphanage, who will present a statement from the group. She will then be followed by individual testimonies of the nine members present, including herself. And then we can finish with any questions that you have. And like I say, I'm just going to, if I don't see some folks, I may reach out to them just to make sure that they have the right link. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I'll now turn it over to Brenda. Good morning, Mark. With gut approximately an hour. And. Great. Thank you, Senator Sears again. And I turn it over to Brenda and I'm going to mute myself. Morning, Brenda. Good morning, Senator Sears. Good morning. We are very grateful to be a part of this legislative process. And for you addressing this bill so quickly. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having your time to listen to us. And support our goal to take change. The civil statute of limitations for physical, mental and emotional abuse suffered at institutions. This bill will mean so much to all of us. And we'll help in our healing. To know this statute can no longer be used to hide abuse of any kind. And this bill will have accomplished some good. I'm sure we can all agree to the fact it should be far more important. To protect children from abuse than it is to protect those who abuse them. The adverse childhood experiences that children go through last a lifetime. We, the voices of St. Joseph orphanage are living testimony as to the young developing mind. It has affected most of our lives for many, for many negative ways. For most life has been a struggle. I would like to answer a few of the questions and points you brought up on your Friday's meeting. Number one, Mary Kehoe. Pointed out we are hoping you can expand the language of the current or future legislation. So children abuse both physically and emotionally. May have access to justice. Number two, the Catholic church did cover up all the sexual and physical abuse that occurred at St. Joseph's orphanage. Make no mistake about that. They actively participated in the fraudulent concealment of evidence then and to this very day. They intimidated and threatened us with more harm to keep us quiet. The church and Vermont Catholic Charities are still refusing to release our complete and unredacted records. Point on medical records is UBM medical center has some medical records back as far as about 1964. With missing information in them. A lot of the abuse to us took place before that date. Also, they very seldom sought medical care for us. So there will be no medical records of evidence on most of the abuse. Reporting by the nuns to the church for Mont Catholic Charities and DSW was also very lax. Again, not much documented evidence left behind. Number three, I'm at number four. I'm sorry. From Kim's testimony, psychological and emotional abuse has been documented to have delayed disclosure of the events for at least 52 years. This is actually very true for many of us. Number five. Attempted quotes. Assault in our opinion is actually counterintuitive to what we are trying to accomplish with this bill. We are still trying to do that. We are still trying to do that. And hopefully you can strike that word. Number six from Sarah's, Robinson statement. Access to records needs to be recognized somehow in this bill. We are still trying for access. She also said with physical abuse, there is a bigger aspect of emotional abuse. With our testimony today, you will witness this ongoing emotional abuse trauma. We will continue to do that. Thank you. Thank you very much, Mark. Thank you, Brenda. So we're going to begin with individual testimony now and we'll, there are a couple of folks, additional folks who I think are going to come on. I just reached out to them, but I'll start it off with Michael. Thank you, Michael. Thank you, Mr. Sears. I was in St. Joseph's orphanage from June of 1973 to June of 1979. During the seven years I was there, I was physically emotionally and sexually assaulted. The cruelty was on a daily basis and did not end until I left the orphanage. As a result of this abuse, I suffer from PTSD, anxiety disorder, and panic attacks. I find it difficult making connections at a personal, at a personal level. I suffer from ACEs, adverse childhood experiences, from childhood that carry you over into adulthood that actually have a physical effect on the brain development. I'd like to see the statute of limitations change to hold accountable those people in institutions who are either inflicted or by reason of an action, allowed to be inflicted, physical abuse on children. This cannot be allowed to continue. Thank you. Thank you, Michael. We're going to go now to Mora. You're muted, Mora. Of course I was. I'm sorry. Hi. Thank you for allowing us to come in. My name is Mora LaBelle. And I was there for six months, 1961 of June to 1961 of December, along with three other siblings, this age, my father was a service man. And my mom had one baby on the way. So we were taken away and brought into the orphanage by the state and Catholic Charities. We were allowed to go home on weekends. We were promised to be loved, cared for and well fed. We were none of the above. I witnessed a death. I was also brought in a boat because of this death and threatened that, and I was only three and a half. It was unbelievable. I would see kids being kicked by nuns, heavy shoes. Sometimes they wore those black boots, literally kicked and abused and made kids scream and holler throughout the night. And I would get up at three and a half and run to help them. Because they were screaming and crying, help me, help me. Nobody was helping them. So I got out of bed and would run and every time I ran, I was locked in a closet for getting out of bed. It was a horrific six months traumatizing in my life. My whole life was totally upside down. Not to mention the little boy that was killed was African-American. I do want you to know that these nuns came from Quebec, Canada, into this country to run a nursery for St. Joseph's. And these people had a horrific background. They were running the duplicitous children. And they were horrifically trained and allowed to come here and destroy children. It was legal there. I don't know how they were allowed here. I don't know how they were allowed here. I don't know what's wrong with our system. Nobody came and checked on us. Nobody. And we were totally destroyed. And how would that affect the statutes today? These people would have been in jail. Had these statutes had not been there. You think about that. These nuns got away with murder and able to go back to the city. They didn't have to go to school. They didn't have to go to school. They just got free. And how did that affect my life? I spent all my life looking for answers because the system failed us. I did all the looking. Myself. Here I am 63 years old. And I spent my whole life. You know what I did with my life? I spent my whole life looking for answers. I spent my whole life looking for answers. No adult figure of the adults. Just little ones. I'm going to save the children. Because the authority figures couldn't save them. Nobody helped us. I hug all the kids. I love all the kids. And I'm going to care for them. Where were you guys? This is horrible. Thank you. I was muted. Thank you. I'm sorry for the. Good morning. John. Good morning. Good morning. My name is John Magnego and I live in Miami, Florida. I was born at Fannie Allen hospital in 1943 where my mother left me at birth. And then was incarcerated at St. Joseph's orphanage at age four months. I remained there for seven years after which I was adopted. There are many stories from us, the voices of St. Joseph's, the survivors of the orphanage, the stories of abuse, mental, physical and sexual. For example, there were many, many means of punishment. We were locked in dark closets or in dark attics for hours listening to other kids cry. I remember being one of those kids. I recall being taken by a priest to a separate room where he would sit down in a chair and put me under his robe under his habit. And forced me to open my mouth under there. I was whacked on the head. If I did not perform as he wanted. And of course brainwashed. That I'd go to hell if I told anyone. I would only assume I was six or seven years old. What does a kid know about what is happening except that he doesn't like it or want to do it. I specifically remember one really traumatic episode of being naked on and face down in a room. An older heftier boy was straddling me sitting on my backside and trying to rape me. I remember a man. Priest. I'm not sure which was holding my head down on the floor and telling me to be quiet. While the ball, while the bully kid did his thing. And the man priest I slash priest. And egged him on. While kicking and screaming, the man priest held my head down and banged my head against the floor so as to submit to the abuse. I was so traumatized that I was in the infirmary hospital. I was in the infirmary hospital for weeks because of that concussion. I still get these sharp pains on the left side of my head. Where are my medical records? I've asked and gotten no wares as usual. This was just months before I was to be placed with my perspective adopted parents. According to my adopted parents, the story was that I was hit by a ball while playing with other kids. I was in the infirmary hospital for a few months for my recovery. I know my testimony is rather strongly worded and you may think it is too much. However, at my age, I have nothing to hide and nothing to lose. I've lied and hidden the facts all my life. To protect myself. And at the same time protected the hypocrisy of the church and its accomplices. I have no family and fear. I will die alone. It is a real shame that the church, which preaches family values, morality, et cetera, et cetera. Have for decades and probably centuries. I have no family and fear. I have no family and fear. I will die alone. It is a real shame that the church, which I have no family and fear. Have for decades and probably centuries abused and molested its young innocent and vulnerable children. It is despicable, deplorable and disgusting. And I could just go on and on. How these predators, men of God can stand up in front of their flock, their congregation and preach all their holy sermons. I don't know. We the voices of St. Joseph know knows what it's like to have lived and die. Shed to have survived the abuse at the orphanage where care of the children was the last thing on their mind. To this day the church refuses to admit abuse, released personal files and provide for restitution. Bishop, coin in September of to 18, 2018 said they were working with the authorities and, transparency and have turned over all their records, not at all true. Pardon for what I have to say, but in my opinion, the Church and all its clergy accomplices must be learning leaning to the extreme right. The Church accepted some $25 million from the Trump administration. Did you see or hear of the Church opening its doors for the cold, the hungry, the unemployed, the homeless during this pandemic with the $25 million? Do you hear of them opening up food banks and distributing food and necessities to its flock to its congregation? Or to anyone in need? The answer to my knowledge is no. It is imperative that the statue of limitation be removed. A crime is a crime is a crime period. There should never ever be a limitation on any crime. Where is their justice? Please tell me. Thank you for letting me tell you only one of the many horrific stories from the orphanage. Thank you very much. Thank you, John. You'll find some friends and vacuets among your group of survivors, St. Joseph's and Mark. Hopefully you're helping to do that. I'm particularly struck by your testimony, John. I was born in 1943 also. And I was born to a mother who was incarcerated and adopted. But I was adopted when I was about a year and a half. Was in a series of foster homes in an orphanage. I don't know. But I have a great deal of sympathy. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Mark, thank you, Senator Sears. I appreciate you sharing that. Linda. I was in the orphanage. I'm going to be 70 years old in a few weeks. I was in the orphanage in 1936. I was there with three other siblings. My younger sister at 18 months old, our cots were side by side. I personally had a horrific physical abuse attack with a very large nun in a white habit in an empty room. And I had an out of body experience. And that's where my memory brings me at that age, about four, four years old. When we were locked in closets, my younger sister and I, she screamed. I remember the shoes on the shelves in one closet. It's documented on the social workers paperwork that I recently saw that I told a social worker that my younger sister was put locked in a pantry and was screaming. Yet nobody did anything about it. Having said that, I want you to know that I listened to the panel last week. And I found it disturbing to hear that emotional abuse was quickly dismissed because it was hard to prove. As Colonel Potter would say, hogwash. That is old school thinking. You need to listen to the science as and their new findings. I have. Have you listened to it? The new findings of the medical scientist. Vermont has done a very good job when it comes to following the CDC recommendations regarding the pandemic. Neuroscientists no more. If you don't research into this, you are not doing your job correctly. All abuse becomes emotional, no matter what kind of abuse it is. It can stop your life. It can slow it down enough that it affects your progress substantially. Do you know how many employers get away with emotional abuse? How many coworkers get away with emotional abuse? How families fall apart? Life is evil today and evil is found everywhere. Even in the circle of politicians right to the top. What does it hurt to include removing statutes of limitations on emotional abuse? It hurts nobody. It can only help someone. Emotional abuse runs wild in institution and large circles of of all kinds rapidly. Don't just miss providing a victim a way to fight back. Silencing them only takes their pit deeper. Be caring and help. I want to say one other thing is that with ACEs, the neurons in our brains do not, some of them do not get a chance to develop properly. And we have two muscles. One in each side of our brain called the amygdala. And at birth, those muscles start working. They start recording information. So an infant starts recording that they're bad, their adverse experiences in life. And those recordings stay there. They do not go away. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you. Thank you, Linda. Mark. To Walter. Walter, welcome. You're muted. Find it well. How's that? Yeah, you got your now. Good job. Okay, thank you. 75 years old. I'm not very good with computers. I would like to thank you all for for coming to listen to us today. I was in St. Joseph's from April 1953, to late 1959, at what time at which time I was transferred to Don Bosco across the way. I have many scars to my time at St. Joe's, my knees from where I had to kneel with a Bible in each hand until my knees bled. I had scars on my back from where we had to go out to the grotto where the Virgin Mary was and get a switch so that they could whip us with it. I have scars on the bottom of my penis where none burnt me. I was a scared little boy. I was an eight year old child put somewhere he should never have been back in the 80s to 90s when this all came out, we were told it could never happen again. I was asked to be respectful of my remarks to you. But after all the stuff that came out over St. Joe's and then to have it come out 10 years later over another institution, it just calls me. Yes, I am speaking of current hand. Some of us are responsible for those boys. I understand that none of you were there when we were. But how about last year or the year before the year before that? If you let another one slip through the cracks. I have a younger brother. My younger brother is 71 years old. My younger brother because my stepfather was not Catholic. My younger brother was not put into St. Joseph's but was put into current hat. My younger brother refuses to speak about his time in current hat, which was, I believe, around seven or eight years. I don't know if he was abused there or not because he refuses to speak about it. But when you ask him about it, it's like a light goes out in his eyes. I believe he was abused there. But he won't speak about it. So I can't tell you that he was. But how did this happen? How did this happen with current hat? The same thing that happened at St. Joseph's was at the same time happening at current hat. The problem my brother has is this all he was there 60 years ago. So guess what? The statue of limitations affects him today as well as it affects me. We need to have this changed so that the children who are now adults could come forward and say, this happened to us. We would like it to be remedied. It's a sad situation when we don't do anything about it. The first thing I would have done after this all came out from St. Joseph is given a complete inspection of any place to held children within his walls. I am not trying to put specific blame on anyone, but someone is to blame. You to stay in us. Yes, I said us. We as a group have pledged ourselves to protect all children. And I do not think we did enough. It is your job, our job, to every minute of every day to make sure our children are safe. When you all go home tonight and your children are safe, make sure they stay that way and never end up like we did. I grew up married and raised three children, raised them in the same way I was raised in St. Joseph's. I am now 75 years old and is strange from two of my children. It is sad, but I knew of no other way. It is too late for me and mine, but please remove these restrictions so that no one can ever hide behind them again. Thank you. Thank you, Walter. Mark. Thank you, Walter. Debbie Hazen. Debbie, you're muted, Debbie. Don't feel bad about being muted, folks. We do it all the time, believe me. Hi, I'm actually Deborah Hazen. It says Debbie Jeffrey on the screen for some. You look like a unicorn. Oh, why? Debbie, you're mad. Somehow you muted yourself again. I don't know how. Here we go. Okay. Sorry. Did you hear me at all? Yeah. Oh, now we do. Okay. Oh, my name is changed on the screen now. Good. My name is Deborah Hazen. I was at the orphanage from 1958 to 1964 along with my older brother and an older sister. I remember the day that my dad dropped us off at the orphanage. I was three and all I can remember is the nun peeling me off of my dad's legs that I was clinging on to so desperately. In the first day, my first full day there, they brought me into a bedroom where the cots are and they taught me how to make a bed and I had to do that over and over and over and over again until it was to the nun's satisfaction at three years old. I could do pretty good hospital donors now. Yeah, that was very traumatic. Just I couldn't understand why they were taking me away from my dad. Luckily, I had my sister for a few months. Once you're six years old, you have to move to the next dorm that we were in the second nursery. Walter, we can hear your clocks. There you go. And my sister kind of protected me for a couple of months, but then they took her to the older kids dorm so I was kind of left alone and I was terrified. I remember going to bed at six o'clock. We had to sleep on our right side with our hands folded in the prayer position under our cheeks and we couldn't move. They put the sheets over our heads. A few minutes later, someone would come around to make sure that we were sleeping and if we weren't, we were yanked from our beds late, made to lay on a floor with our pants down waiting for the paddle to strike. That was kind of a daily thing. Get up to go to breakfast and they'd have all our cereals sitting in bowls of milk already and it was kind of warm and it was so soggy, it was disgusting. Dagged most of the people. The few kids that couldn't eat it, they would throw up and they were forced to eat their own vomit. I witnessed that so somehow I managed to choke down at cereal. The whole six years we were there, my sister, the only control she had in her life was to hold her tears. She would not cry in front of those nuns no matter how they tortured her. She was crying her pillow at night, nobody knew, but one day, Sister Claire and Sister Madeline took both my sister and I up to the attic. I was very young. I was probably about four, I think. They put me into a trunk and locked me in and they told me that there was bats and spiders and snakes in there and they were going to get you. Well, I started screaming hysterically, I was crying and screaming and trying to get out and I couldn't get out and my sister kept trying to go towards the trunk. Every time she did, they grabbed her by the hair, lift her head up to see if she was crying. That's all they were trying to do, make her cry. All of a sudden I just went very quiet. I just stopped crying and Donna thought, my sister thought that I had died because I ran out of air. She thought she killed me. That was the one time in six years that she almost cried in front of the nuns. The nuns, I think, kind of panicked because I went silent, but they finally let me out at that point. To this day, I really still have survivors guilt, witnessing and hearing all that my sister endured. They did too many things to recount and yet she still protected me. To this day, she still fights depression on a daily basis, even sometimes to the point of wanting to commit suicide. It kills me. Anytime we were supposedly bad, we weren't bad kids, we were just kids, but if we were bad, we weren't allowed to go see our parents on visiting day or if we were beaten and had any visible marks or bruises, they held us back from seeing our parents and they told our parents that we were bad and had to work off demerits so we would see them the next two weeks. We were also told that when we did see our parents, that God sees and hears everything. If you tell your parents what happens in here, God will strike your parents dead. We thought our parents were in grave danger so we never said anything. We just kept our mouths shut so we never talked about it. There was a room on the second floor, actually two rooms, set up for visiting priests and my seniors. We called it the red room. There was a red setee as you walked in, red velvet setee, and to the left of that was a desk along the wall with a big ornate. It looked like a hand car wooden chair, but beyond the desk was a door and that was the bedroom. A lot of nuns brought kids to them for their sexual pleasure. I was brought to that room along with another child and I remember at the time I believe it was a Monsignor in there and I think he took the other child into the bedroom and my memory stops there. I don't want to remember what happened in there because I know what went on in there, but when I was married to my first husband he asked me why I wasn't a virgin. I told him I'd never been with any other man. He didn't believe me. He made me feel bad and dirty. I can only imagine what happened in there. My brother too, he was molested in there, beaten so many times. We all, we all struggle, sorry. These are some good reasons why the statues and limitations need to be changed not only for sexual, I know the sexual abuse is already waived, but physical, mental, and emotional abuse as well is so very important to all of us to help stop this now and for the children of the future. In closing, this is my little quote, from survivors to saviors, we not only fight for future children, we fight for the child within. Thank you very much. Thank you, Deborah. Mark. Debbie, I will go to Caitlin. Morning, Caitlin. Morning. Thank you. Can you hear me okay? Yeah. Okay. As at St. Joseph's in 1970 to 1972, I was awarded the state and was not Catholic. And once I got there, I was told by the kids that that meant that I was doomed to hell. I nearly got slapped within the first half hour I was there for not understanding something they none asked me. Think that's due to something Catholic. The next morning, we're waiting for the nun to teach madam, make this hospital bed. She stopped in the girl's bathroom and beat a 10-year-old girl so that she's literally bouncing off the walls. She had a back brace on which probably enhanced that vision in my head. And she just kept beating her and beating her and she was not careful. She didn't make sure that she didn't hit her head on this floor or the porcelain sinks or anything. And it was very very scary. Then I learned that the nuns after we were in bed at night they'd come in and pull girls out of bed after when they're sleeping and beat them. The two nuns were on the floor both of them would come in. I learned to stay awake at night so that I wouldn't have to wake up to the screams. It was easier somewhat easier being awake. No one it was going to happen rather than waking up and hearing it. We were forced to eat anything that was given to us if we didn't. They'd shove it down our throats and again if anybody threw up they were forced to eat the vomit. The nuns considered that as an act of woefulness. I was sexually abused there a couple of times once in the bedroom. Most of the time my job was potting pans at times a day but at one point I was put in the second nursery where the six-year-olds were to five six and I had to use a buffing machine on the on the hallway floor but it got away from my hands the first time I tried using it and the nun came up behind me and beat me the whole time all the way up to get that buffer machine and get a hold of it stop if I'm bouncing off the walls. There was a three-year-old boy who came in who was beaten by his mother. He started cutting bruises in hospital. He came us on one morning he got up and ran straight into the arms of the nun and she handed it to me and told me to knock him in the dark manager which was a closet. I went ahead and did it and I felt so guilty almost my whole life since doing that to the little boy but I knew if I didn't she would hurt him and it'd be worse for him. I started running away after that and eventually I ended up trying to kill myself and that got me out of there but I like pretty much since I was in and out of hospitals and I was never able to like have a family or like have a job or do anything that was like up to my real potential which is actually quite a bit that I could have done if I was able to work things out but no kids were believed any kid who is told no kid was believed about what happened there. There's physical emotional abuse every day. They're just kids' fears against them anyway that they could. It was like a game to them and it really has affected me and a lot of other people our whole lives and I know that the people who died never ever being able to say what happened and I really don't want this to happen to any other person in the future. There's been enough already. So that's pretty much it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you Caitlin. Mark. Thanks. Thanks Senator Sears. Debbie Jevrey. Hi I'm Debbie Jevrey. I was in the orphanage from 1964 to 1974. I was two when I went in. I was 12 when I got out. My sister and brother were also placed in the orphanage. We were placed in the orphanage because my father was unable to take care of us and my mother was mentally ill. Someone has to something that I don't know what it is Mark. Anyhow there's many things that happened to me in the orphanage. I could go on and on. I could go on and on about the red room. I was made to sit in my own feces and a tub for hours. I lived my whole life in fear. Every moment was fearful. I still live my life in fear. Thank you. I've been the therapist for many many many many many years and the only thing that seems to help is this group. My children have suffered immensely due to my fears. I drank my way through my adult life just to forget and it didn't work and I can say now that I haven't had a drink in five years but the fear is still there and I realize that the legislature does not want to open the can can of worms of emotional abuse but when you have people that can prove beyond the shadow of a doubt what happened there should be some way to to be able to help other people and to be able to be verified or whatever the word might be. My sister suffered immensely. She can she can barely come to the group. My brother committed suicide. He was severely sexually abused in which turn in which point he turned that on me so not only did I get sexually emotionally and everything else abused in that orphanage when we got out of there I was also continually abused by my brother. I just hope that you guys hear our voices today and I thank you so much for taking the time. I think Vermont's doing a great service to everyone by by taking this up and by having the fortitude to listen to us. I am I'm very grateful for that and I hope you hear our stories and and do with it as you will. Thank you. Thank you Debbie. Thank you Debbie and we're going to finish with Brenda. My name is Brenda. I was at St. Joseph's Orphanage from 1959 to the summer of 1968. At the age of six I was brought to St. Joseph's Orphanage and dropped off. All my possessions were taken away clothes dolls toys never to be seen again. I was changed into their clothes a bowl was placed on my head and all my hair cut off. At that time I became known as in May number 22. I learned very early that to survive you had to become invisible because when because when you were visible the monsters always got you always. I learned you only had yourself to depend on. No one would help you. I survived. I carry that learning to today but I'm trying to be more trusting in others. In my healing process I am also allowing you to see me to really see me see the little girl curled up inside of me hoping to be rescued and saved no one ever did. See me now an older woman who still carries that scared child inside of her still waiting to be rescued and saved. I want you to really see the deep seated hurt, agony a lot of us live with every day. It never goes away. The incidents of physical abuse to me are still manifesting today being beaten around the face head and neck while tied to a chair because I wouldn't eat peanut butter pudding holding my mouth closed and my my nose closed and forcing my mouth open to put it in there. I spit it out and the nun beat me so hard around my face, head and neck still tied to the chair. She knocked me across the dining room tied to the chair so that my head and face slammed into the floor. I was bleeding from my mouth, ears and nose. They brought me to the ER at that time and the doctor was looking at me asking what happened. I couldn't look at him. I had to look at the floor but none was sitting there and you could not say anything. She told him I was just a clumsy child and he was looking at me and he knew that it wasn't something I fell down and did. The record of me in the ER cannot be found. I tried. In my DCF file, there is a hospital bill for medical care at the hospital but they cannot find the record for that bill. I ended up having to have spinal neck surgery with a fusing and plating in my vertebrae for stability. By being kicked in the stomach in a domino area many times I had such scarring and strictures I was unable to have children. I had to have a complete hysterectomy in my 30s. These are just a few of the ongoing medical issues that I and many of us continue to have. They are still manifesting today from the treatment physical abuse at the orphanage. I am hoping by our testimony today it will help you in the writing of this bill help us with our healing and to obtain some justice. We would be happy to answer any questions you may have for us and thank you for listening to us today. Thank you all. I've been extremely helpful to better understand. One of my questions Mark and maybe you can answer and maybe somebody else can answer is what was the role of the department of social welfare? I think most of you were at that time it was now it's DCF at that time I believe it was DSW where they did they place many of you many of these folks there and were there social workers who worked with you could you tell them anything? Nope nobody helped. Nobody helped. Are there records from DSW? Mark do you know? Yeah that's so so the department department children families at this point did a record search. They didn't find records for everybody they were able to find records for about I'd say about 30% of the active participants in the restorative inquiry and then working in collaboration with them they create an opportunity for those individuals to view those records but there are definitely other folks who who are very clear that they were under state custody at the time who went through the orphanage that they did not find records for. Right at any time did any you were told not to tell your social worker what happened if you had one? Is that correct all of you? It's documented that I told the social worker that my sister was 18 months old sister was locked in a pantry screaming and and I read that I have that document and nothing was done nothing was done. The department children and families Jim Forbes did a preliminary investigation into the role of the at that point the Department of Social Work in the orphanage and that that report I think is included in the Attorney General's Task Force report that was released back in December but social work practices at that point were very different and there wasn't there was not there was not much checking in on and there was not much opportunity for children to tell their stories. Thank you and so the group actually is just I'm sorry jump in is meeting with uh some folks from the commissioner's office now to share their story and and and and to the best of their abilities make sure that DCF practices would capture their stories today in a way that they didn't then and so that's an ongoing collaboration between this group and the Department of Children and Families. I know that social workers currently are required to meet with their clients every 30 days at the minimum and I don't know what the requirements were back in the 60s and 70s but many of you were there. Caitlin did you want to comment briefly? Yes about the only time I saw my social worker was when my grandfather died she picked me up to take me to the funeral and after I began running away after I put that three-year-old boy in the closet and I told her then like what had happened and to her it was like just nothing all she said was that there's no place else for me even asked to go to the reform school and she said that it was too good to go there and there's no place else for me I had to stay there and just got me such bad thoughts and pans rather than working in the second nursery um it's like I kind of thought she knew Mora has a prominent question. Okay was she done? Yes I think so yeah okay well my when I told my mom on weekends about the death of the boy and other things that happened there my mom would confront the nun and the social workers and they came up with it was only in the eyes of the child that's all they ever said nobody investigated anything we can't find the boy to this day no paperwork nothing um other questions for anyone in the group or for Mark from anybody on the committee I thank you all so much for your courage and talking with us today I don't know we're going to continue to look at this tomorrow we're going to hear from some folks from current Atten some of you mentioned Welter mentioned his brother had been at current Atten we're discovering more and more about that obviously current Atten is still in business and so there are more recent cases than with St. Joseph like I uh my heart goes out to all of you and thank you for your courage in coming and speaking out and I hope that at the very least that that is helpful to you and and in healing Mark thank you so much for all you do if you have any final words Mark you know thank you Senator Sears and the committee members and and again thank you to the participants of the restorative inquiry who as Senator Sears was referencing your your courage is it's just awesome so thank you thank you all