 Well hello and welcome to a morning cup of Jonathan. I'm your host Jonathan Astley and I'm so excited to be here today I've got my cup today that says you're awesome So don't let so let this be your reminder and our topic. You can't get what you want till you know what you want Say one know the Rolling Stones song You can't get what you want till you know what you want. So for those of you or who are single looking for love it occurs to me that It's quite easy to feel frustrated these days Because the dating realm has changed so dramatically in the last 200,000 years Last 200,000 years. I mean I want you to think about those Neanderthal days You know how much dating was really going on right back then, you know You lived in a tribe the tribe was 20 people basically you made it within the tribe and For the next couple hundred, you know bear for the next hundred and 99,000 years that's basically think about that if Neanderthals are 200,000 years old for a hundred and ninety-nine thousand years more or less You made it within that small group of people that you knew in your proximity and And certainly as we started to evolve into larger groups of people when we evolved to villages and to towns You still pretty much made it right in your own proximity. So there was you know, you weren't thinking about Swipe dating you weren't thinking about ghosting. You weren't thinking about Disappeared, you know how men disappear. You weren't thinking about emotionally unavailable men I don't even know if the word narcissist, you know was in you know came invented in the last Hundred years or 200 years. I mean not really sure how old narcissism is or the story of narcissism But at least and borderline personalities and all the different things in social media. I mean this didn't exist If you think about it a lot of the stuff didn't even exist 50 years ago I mean you think back 50 years ago, and I know many of you romanticize about the chivalrous guy Who's just gonna come to claim you and all you have to do is sit in your feminine to make that happen Well, it was a whole different time 50 years ago and quite frankly up until about 50 or 60 years ago There was a big consequence if you mated with someone If you had sex with someone because the consequence was a child and that all changed around the 60s when the birth control pill was Predominantly being introduced and certainly other forms of birth control and that changed everything So now longer we do we mate with the intent of being in a committed relationship? We physically mate with people on a casual level And I suspect with a lot of this in you know Circulating in your head if you've actually contemplated this and you you think about how do we meet people today? And again, there's the basically the dating apps tend to be the most predominant place where people are meeting through through the Internet connection through social media whatnot It's created more and more Dysfunctionality and if all of this Dysfunctionality is on top of mind if all of this is in your mind the Frustration the disappointments that past hurts and whatnot if all of this is in your mind I want you to imagine how how is it going to be that you're going to attract? Something special if this is all in your mind all of the all of what's wrong out there And I say this even for myself I share this because I've observed that I've you know and on some level as a coach my job is to point out You know what doesn't work my job is to point out what's ineffective at the same time My job is also to point out what is effective and well how the things that you can do Right now with the things you can do right now to change your life And one of the things I highly recommend and I always recommend my book what the heck is self-love anyway a journey of personal development Self-help and spiritual work. You can see the link below Why I recommend this book and what I'm about to share to go even deeper today Is it starts with the relationship within yourself because you can't get anything that you want in? Life until you have a happy you now let me reframe that you can get a lot of surface things in your life You can get things like You have a you have a one-bedroom apartment and you want a two-bedroom condo Those are things you can get and you might Temporarily feel better having that you could have a Hyundai for a car and you want a Ferrari And you think you're gonna be so much better if you have that that's more of a guy thing probably Okay, but those are just temporary things. I'm talking about the things that really that you genuinely want In your life most of most people what I know is they want Emotional connection they want inner peace they want a sense of purpose well all of those things start from within And this is why when I wrote my book. It's a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work So you can be better prepared to attract in a Juicy delicious relationship like I continually talk about So how do we manifest that how do we make that happen? Well, it starts by clearing your mind of all that doesn't work all those thoughts about ghosting and disappearing and Narcissist and players and love bombers and start to let all that go let go of the rhetoric That it's hard let go of the idea that it's it's even hard to meet someone and And start to adopt a different way of looking at things start to adopt a way of of being that's already says I am happy I'm already happy and When you want adopt that feeling of happiness within you more happiness will start coming in your way And if you also want to attract a Really juicy delicious relationship if you want to attract a man in your life We'll then start adopting the belief the knowing the experience of that he already is here in fact I highly recommend I'm going to butcher her name the Book by Shakti garanti called creative visualization. This is her workbook Shakti grawny. I'm butchering her name But you can start imagining. What is it like to feel into the relationship? You desire feel into the type of experience you want to have and let go of all the Negativity because if you want to experience this type of relationship, you see the t-shirt says I've got your back And there's a back missing here. This person has your back We'll start with having your own back right now in that healthy happy way of just loving on oneself Just experience that feeling of joy that feeling of excitement within yourself and Then you'll become a magnetic attractor for more and more and then you'll start seeing evidence I share this from my own personal experience because I've met a friend I've met a woman who we've really developed a great friendship in the last few months And I just love the way we communicate with each other and she lives in another state And I'm recognizing that this is what I want to feel in relationship just the way we communicate with one another I mean we practically act like boyfriend and girlfriend and if the circumstance were different that might happen But why I'm sharing this with you is I'm already feeling like when you start to him just Embodied what you want to feel when you're with somebody That's sense of ease of communication that sense of being free to be vulnerable to be authentic to be transparent within yourself When you just start to embody that that's what I love about this person because I can be literally myself with her And when you can operate from being purely by your Now by the way if you're if you as a person are a miserable person I'm telling you you got to fill the love cup up to become that person where you can be vulnerable authentic and transparent From an empowered place and not from an insecure and weak place Because when you operate from that kind of place you have a greater chance of attracting what you want So my invitation for you today if you want to change your love life if you want to change your life in general Start to love on yourself and loving on yourself simply means, you know, it's it's self-worth self-esteem self-reliant self-care Self-confidence Embodied those feelings within yourself of empowerment within yourself That's the embodiment of self-love and then start to radiate that out and Let go of all of what doesn't work Just even in your head let go at all and replace it with what can work and Just imagine that the right person is on their way and they're just wanting to hear your signal. Where's her signal? Where's her signal? A guy's looking for you when you're radiating it from radiating it from the inside out Is this sinking in is this resonating with you? Please let me know post a comment below All right Like to hear like to hear your thoughts in this again post a comment if this Resonate with you share this with your friends like it do all those types of things if you want to check in with me And you want to work with me check out the link below to schedule a discovery call with me See if working with the coach is right for you check out my books that I recommend and I'm going to wrap up This videos I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan Barragh of self-love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm going to ask you to turn to someone a pat the teddy bear pillow give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great Source of love and let's face it we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now. Bye. Bye