 Thank you of course to all our diamond sponsors. I shall address you all in turn as we go throughout. But first of all, it is my responsibility to say hello. For some reason, they've given me 10 to 15 minutes to kick off the conference. So I hope you all like karaoke or you're gonna have a very bad morning. Why do I get the honor of hosting today's conference? Because I'm 99% sure that I have come the furthest to be here. This is a video representation of just how far it kind of skips over the long part really. Has anyone ever been to Cordova? This is an audience participation talk. Anyone show of hands? No, one, one or two? So apparently if you were to dig a hole through the planet starting at Cordova, you'd end up roughly where I started from. There's only a small number of places in the planet where that is true. Because the planet is of course 70% ocean. So it actually looked a little bit more like this. One airport, long, long flight. Very angry toddler in Singapore who was not happy about not being able to sleep. Another very long flight which eventually took me to the right continent but not the right country. As planned, of course, we ended up in Milan and left very soon afterwards. Hey, look, they got chairs in their room. I'm gonna expect better from you, please. Hey, thank you, thank you. A few days in Barcelona. I hope you're gonna be that excited when the karaoke starts. And finally to Valencia. Now the question on all your minds are who is this guy and where have I seen him before? My name is Craig Box. Some of you may recognize me more by my voice than by what I actually look like. I work in Google Cloud Developer Relations. So you might have seen me on the one day that I wore this red jacket. Don't hold a team offsite in California and give everyone warm jackets. It doesn't make any sense. Anyway, in case you couldn't find me, that's me there. I've obviously not quite as excited to be here as that guy. A few other places I've shown up in the past. I am visible in this picture. That's me right there. I was advising the, sorry, announcing the GVISA product project in KubeCon at Copenhagen a few years ago. I might have talked now for long enough that you've figured it out. Sounded my voice. I'm the host of the Kubernetes podcast. It was also announced at that event. There's no picture of me on the slide, but it's an audio medium, it's a trick question. And what have I done more recently? Well, I'm on the stereo, sorry, the steering committee for the Istio project. So you can find a little picture of me on this page. And I hope we're all very excited about this proposal here to join the CNCF. Maybe one or two of you in the audience, not so much. You know who you are, that's all right. But I am here because I am on the program committee for this event. In the program committee, we talk a lot about what kind of conference we should have. How we keep it balanced, how we make sure that one vendor doesn't do too many talks. How we can get talks in from projects that are interesting, but not yet commercially relevant. How we can get people who haven't submitted talks in to represent their projects and so on. The other thing that we do in our program committee calls is talk at length about my intense and somewhat irrational hatred for the term service mess. I am here to tell you this is a low effort pun and I demand you as the community do better. I've done what I can. Many years now I've been on the program committee. I've been quietly guiding people to say, we've heard it before, please don't call things a service mess. If that goes into your title, we might try and sort of ask you. There's one place that you're allowed to use that word and that's if you're talking about eaten mess, which is a fantastic dessert. Although basically just a pebble over that fell off a table. So my message to you this morning is here to ask that we all make some better puns. You might claim there's no such thing as a good pun. Well, maybe I'm going to propose some. They're horribly bad. I apologize in advance, but if you want to put a talk in the future, consider some of these instead. You could call your services a Meshglenn salad. I'd like either applause or groans depending on the quality of the puns, please. Thank you. We don't perform a rollout. We now perform a meshika, tiny laugh. My year this isn't too good, but you could say that you have to be Meshuggah to roll something out like this. Perhaps you have to be Meshuggah to start a mesh company in Boston, Massachusetts. Very specific jokes targeted at certain members of the audience. Boston, Boston, not too good with my accent, I apologize. And from now on, I don't want to hear anyone talking about encapsulated packages. They are now to be called messages in a bottle. Now that gives me an idea. There we are. That gives me an idea that we're going to need to get the sound working for. Told you that be karaoke. I'll send M-T-L-S to the world. I'll send M-T-L-S to the world. I hope that someone gets mine. I hope that someone gets mine. I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle. I wasn't actually expecting to go full on William Shatner with the karaoke. I could probably do better, but I haven't had any water this morning. We'll see. But that has given me an idea to burn a couple of conference talk minutes here to talk about some karaoke that we might be able to expect from some of our projects. So first of all, our friends here from Linkerdee, let's see how I think that they could introduce their project. Something nice and laid back. When I mention Istio on Twitter, William Morgan replies to me, asking if I have tried Linkerdee. Linkerdee, Linkerdee, Linkerdee, Linkerdee. This song's in a really awful key. Famous, of course, for its stripped back approach. Before, of course, Phil Spector ruins its Linkerdee. Just try it out. I, of course, work on the Istio project and certain members of the mesh community have accused us of being all flash and what personifies that more than a horn section. I told you there'd be karaoke. It's very, very 80s. I think I'm gonna get a little dance going. This'll be a good time to get the beat back if you want it. There's a boat that's been on my mind all the time. Is, is, Istio. Oh, whoa. I don't know the VM name. But I connect to it all the same. Is, is, Istio. That's about as far as I could have milked that one anyway. Well, thank you, thank you, thank you. Do we have the team from Kong here? Vic, are you in the audience somewhere? Marco, anyone? We got some guys from Kong. This one, we thought, well, it's the, the commercial product but we'll give it a go anyway. Dumb and Shake's server, baby, mesh the Kongo and know you can't take yourself any longer. It's about all you need. I was going to do a kuma joke but it would have had to have been this joke and I wasn't sure I could nail the falsetto and given how I'm doing this morning, I don't think I'm gonna try. Do it, do it, do it. Oh, maybe, maybe later, we'll see in the lunch break. Anyway, we have the service mesh interface. Anyone from that project here this morning? I didn't think so. Can't use the, can't use the, can't use the service mesh interface, why much longer? There you go. Now, of course, the talk of the conference in some regards and the thing we'll talk about at length this afternoon is of course, EBPF. So let's do a little short EBPF song. It's fun to talk about EBPF. It's fun to talk about EBPF. Is it hyper, real? What is Thomas Graffiel? Guess you'll have to wait for the panel. Thank you, that is the end of the karaoke section. There are some rejected ideas that I didn't get a chance. They say Mechery loves company. We should start a company and make Mechery. Lee, if you're here. We could try into the great wide open service mesh, but that seemed like it would be a few too many words. And I will only let you all know that I tried really hard to come up with something that rhymed with console, that wasn't console. And there are a couple of like kid songs about taking out one's tonsils and so on, but we thought we'd probably let that one slide. Anyway, I sound a lot better on the Kubernetes podcast every week, so if listening to me is something you think you might like to do regularly, then please go look at that in your podcast player. I will be back at 4.30 this afternoon to host the panel on whether or not sidecars were a bad idea that we really should just forget. I'd like to say thank you to our diamond sponsors, to Tetrate, which I think is something that I did with a pipette when I was in chemistry class at school. To Solo, who promised me that they're not named after the Star Wars movie that we collectively forgot existed. And to Boyant, who I don't think have made enough hay of their name. Linkadee Floature Services, something about floating, whatever floats your boat. Thank you very much to the people who made the royalty-free backing tracks, which I butchered this morning. And I would now like to invite our next speaker to get on with the show. Is that William up? You're up next, perhaps? Alright, he's on his way. Thank you and good morning.