 The Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend, the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Hello, loo-loo. Hello, loo-loo. Well, little Miss Sonny, how are you today? I'm just fine. Look, I've got a new pair of shoes. Oh, isn't that nice? I love the little black bow. Oh, so do I. And it always stays tight, so I don't have to tie it. Oh, that's very convenient. Yes, it is, isn't it? Yes, it is, isn't it? Be careful when you're polishing them, though, so you don't stain that bow. Oh, no, I won't. But speaking of shoe polish, if two in one is shoe polish and three in one is oil, what is four in one? Hickory, jickory. That's a tough one. I give up. What is four in one? Five. Oh, that's a good one. You tricked me that time. Now will you please read me the funny? Puck the Comic Weekly. Very well, I will in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now, here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page of the first section, Hop along, Cassidy. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Six comes blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for Hop along. Deep in the heart of the Colorado Rockies, the climber carefully picks his way up the sheer face of a lofty mountainside, high above the swiftly flowing Arkansas River. As he gains the summit, a man and a dog watch him, behind some rocks. The climber scrambles over the edge and then stands up. He wears a pack on it to stamp the letters Frontier Telegraph Company. He straightens up and sees the mountaineer, who is carrying a gun and facing him. Last picture, second row. The mountaineer says, we've been waiting for you. You and your outfit was worn to clear out of this country. The Telegraph man replies, well, this is a free land, isn't it? First picture next row, the mountaineer answers. Yep. Free snoopers with new frangled notions that set in uptowns and bringing in railroads and telegraph. Nice mountain folks aim to keep things our way. Any objections? Well, the law might have some. Yeah, this gun is the law here. I reckon it's time to start and fortune it. He pulls up his gun to shoot. The Telegraph man leaps at him. The mountaineer yells, get him, Frank. Last picture, fourth row of the dog with a savage snarl hurls himself forward. For a moment, the Telegraph man teeters in the brink of the cliff and slips and falls backward into the river 100 feet below. First picture bottom row, the mountaineer looks down into the river and says, yeah, we're rid of him, Frank. That river will beat him to pieces in no time. Meanwhile, to the south, an approaching horseman rides upstream on the very river the Telegraph man has fallen into. A close look at the horseman tells us it's hop along Cassidy. He'll save his life, and then the Telegraph man will tell him what the mountaineer and the dog did, and he'll take him down to jail, and he'll say, something tells me it won't be as easy as that. Hoppy has a real job ahead of him. Oh, I certain he won't miss that. I won't, either. I'll bet you we're going to turn over the page and find out. Yes, sir, there he is, on page three. And do you remember last week, the ship that Prince Val and Arforon had landed at Britain, and that's where Arf is to leave the ship? Yes, and you remember that Arf is very unhappy about this, because it looks as though he's going to have to park with a beautiful girl Adele, whom he has fallen in love with. Yes, that's so sad. But do you remember that the crew was going to give him a present, too, so let's read and see what that present is. Very well, here we go with Prince Valiant and the days of King Arthur. Heck at bracket, Gray Malkin and Quince. Music romantic for a fair, fair prince. [?]. Their ship reaches Britain at the time of parting is not yet for the crew gather around Arf when the helmsman speaks. The crewmen have a gift for the singer songs who made the lonely hours of the night watch seem short. The teller of tales who helped us forget the winter winds. They tell Arf to stand still, and they hold out a wooden leg, which is to fit onto the stump of the leg, which Arf had lost. Last picture top row, they adjust the straps of the carved and polished wooden leg. Arf stands for a minute testing, and then with a shout of joy throws away the crutch and does a dance step. Hey, look, Val. Look. Then first picture next row, Prince Valiant and his choir step ashore. Arf cries. I'm free once more to set foot on Britain for the days of my banishment are long past. Music romantic for a fair, fair prince. Val smiles happily to see that Arf manages so well with a wooden leg. And then they see Adele and her party go ashore. Arf's not happy to part from Adele, so he says to them, will you journey to Bristol and we to Camelot? My father's house is midway between. Will you be my guest, please? Adele looks at her father. He looks at her and sees the pleading in her eyes. And he agrees. So last picture second row, though winter sends chill winds and rain. Springtime rides with two of the party. Arf and the lovely Adele ride side by side through the rain. And first picture bottom row, after two years of wandering, Arf comes again to the home of his childhood, a home from which he had been driven by an evil woman. Inside the castle, alone in his great library, sits a scholar, Sir Jeffrey, Arf's father, dreaming. Then comes the clatter of hoops and the sound of voices from the courtyard. Then footsteps are heard walking past the window outside. The door is opened. There are more footsteps down the corridor outside his door. And then a moment later, a tall lad stands in the doorway. There's a long silence. Sir Jeffrey's eyes grow misty. He looks at Arf and then whispers, my son. Jeffrey's so happy to see Arf. And Arf's happy to see his father, too. Yes, and isn't it nice that Arf can go home that way and visit and bring that pretty Adele with him? Yes, everything is nice today, isn't it? Yes, it is. And next week, we'll find out more about Arf's visit at his home. Oh, great. Now I think it's time for your little pal, Donald Duck. Oh, quick, quick. Let's squat, squat. Very well. Then over the page we go past Jungle Jim, turn the page. And there under little iodine is Donald Duck. Say the magic words with me. Squeeze him, squeeze him, squirt a chicka-chack. Let's have music to fit a quack-quack. Donald is downtown shopping, and he sees a set of metal chairs and tables for his patio, and he exclaims, boy, that's a bargain. And by the time you can say it is, Donald is hauling the chairs home, saying cheerfully. Wow, what a scorcher. It makes me hungry, didn't you say? Third picture top row, he's setting the chairs up on his patio. And a minute later, he's on the phone, saying to Daisy, I find I got some new patio furniture. Come over and see it. Daisy replies. Donald answers, last picture top row. I'll serve you a nice, cold glass of lemonade. Daisy replies. Couple of hours later, first picture bottom row, Donald and Daisy are coming out of the house carrying lemonade. Donald points out the chairs, one which is in the shade of the tree, and one which is out in the scorching sun, and he says, Daisy replies. Well, they are pretty. But are they comfortable? Donald says happily as he puts the lemonade on the table. Cry, wow. Daisy says cheerfully. I'll do that. She backs up to the metal chair, which has been standing in the scorching sun up in the air she goes, her bottom sizzling. She picks up a picture of lemonade and slaps it on Donald's head. And then walks angrily home with a singed tail. Last picture, Donald with a black eye is at the store again, and he's saying to the storekeeper, Asbestos sweet cushions pal. Wasn't that funny? I would never sit down on a metal chair that had been standing in the sun, because that's like sitting on a stone. Yes, it certainly is. As a matter of fact, I'd put a heat-proof cushion on it right away. So would I. Oh, that's Donald. He's so funny. Well, now let's see what Flash Gordon's doing. Oh, yes, let's. Turn to the very last page of the first section, and here he is. You remember, last week Flash and Dale got into a fight with the Martians on the ship where they were being held prisoners. Yes, and then the Martians began to drain the air out of their ship. So they could breathe. Yes, I wonder if they got them on in time, because if they didn't, they will die. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Flash Gordon. Let's have music for Heroic Flash. Realizing the Martians are draining the air from their pirate ship, Flash orders Dale and Ginger to don their space helmets. As he opens the plastic exit tube, all together, jump. Holding on to both of the girls, Flash says, Now, hold fast. This one-man rocket drive has to propel all three of us to our space island. He sets the rocket exhaust for fast pickup, hoping to overtake the distant Earthship. From the invisible Martian pirate ship, last picture top row, a cosmic cannon fires at the fleeing prisoners. Drawing his ray gun, Flash says, Ah, fell short. Underestimated, I speed. Well, I'll try to spoil their aim. First picture bottom row, Flash's ray blast scores a lucky hit on the electro screen that kept the Martians ship invisible to sight and radar. He says, there, that may scare them. They don't know what secret weapons we can use now that their ship is visible. As the Martians ship edges away, Flash radios the Earthship saying, Calling Dr. Ruff on space platform. Open the airlock for us, but have weapons ready. There's a spy for Mars on deck. What Flash doesn't know is that pirate Captain Toxo the Martian grins as he hears this. For last picture, hiding on the space platform, he aims his space gun at Flash as Flash moves closer. Martian Toxo is going to shoot Flash before he gets there. Yeah, looks as though that's what he's trying. Oh, and just when I thought Flash was going to get away all right. Oh, it seems that the danger never lets up but we'll find out if he makes it all right next week. Oh, I hope so. And here they are on the first page of the second section and I'll read that in just a moment, but first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly and on the first page of the second section Dagwood and Blondie. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Konjimi music for Dagwood and Blondie. Blondie is telling Tootsie Woodley, her neighbor, that Dagwood says she can't have a new evening gown for the dance. So she has to make her old one over. Tootsie tells her that she'll help her. Tootsie picks up the gown saying, I'll take it home and lower the ham on my sewing machine. Last picture top row, Dagwood is watering the lawn. Her Woodley sits in the sun chair reading a magazine. Tootsie sticks her head out of the window and says, Herbert, come in a minute. I need you. First picture next row, Herb is inside the house with Blondie's dress on as Tootsie's putting pins in it to get it just the right shape. She says, Stop wiggling, Herbert. Herb exclaims, I'm no human pincushion. Tootsie looks at the gown thoughtfully and then says, Now don't move, I have to run over to Blondie's a minute to see if she has some matching ribbon. Herb growls, make it snappy. A few seconds later, Dagwood happens to stick his head in through the window. He sees Herb standing their last picture second row with a dress on and one hand on his hip. Dagwood says cutely. Oh, hello, Genevieve. Herb goes, Genevieve. Dagwood picks up a flower and he hands it to Herb first picture next row saying, Don't you want this pretty flower to put in your hair? Herb snarls, It starts out the window after Dagwood still wearing the dress. Dagwood aims the garden hose at Herb and the fight begins. Last picture, third row, Cookie, Dagwood's daughter runs into the house and yells, Mama come quick, Papa's beaning up a woman. They all dash out to where the boys are fighting. And they find Herb and Dagwood first picture bottom row lying on the ground in a puddle of water. Herbs all covered with bruises and Dagwood is lying there with a garden hose wound around his neck. Blondie wails, oh my evening down it's ruined. Dagwood exclaims, Your evening ground, boo! An hour later, Dagwood and Blondie are downtown at the store. Blondie has on a beautiful new evening gown. The sales lady says, Oh, it's only $39.50. Dagwood chewing his fingernails moans, Oh, only she says. Blondie exclaims, I'll take it. Last picture, Dagwood slowly comes up the walk. Blondie stops on the doorstep and calls to Tootsie and Herb. Oh, look Tootsie, I got a new evening gown thanks to you and Herb. And Dagwood slinks into the house. Oh, poor Dagwood. Well, why do you say poor Dagwood? After all, it was he who started all the whole trouble. Yes, but. He called Herb Woodley a Genevieve. Yes, but. And he squirted the water hose on the desk. Yes, but. And that's what started the whole fire. Yes, but. And I think Blondie deserved a new evening gown anyway. All right, we won't read Roy Rogers. Why? Well, let me say yes, but. Yes, but. Please read Roy Rogers. Pretty please. With sugar on it? Go ahead. Say yes, but. Yes, but now I don't have anything to say yes, but about. Well, then read Roy Rogers. Very well, then I will read Roy Rogers. Thank you. You remember last week Roy started a new adventure. He's after some outlaws who stole some gold. Yes, and when we left them, the outlaws, Beetle and Ballast took the top butte. A high, steep rock in the valley. They have the gold with them. Ballast has taken a huge kite out of his covered wagon. And he tells Beetle to climb into the kite because there's no way to the top of the rock except by flying. And it's a good place to hide the box of gold dust that they've stolen from the bank. I wonder if you'll get up there all right. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Ah, yippee-yoh! Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. He climbs into the kite. Then Ballast turns it into the wind, which begins to lift it up. Ballast releases the rope from a winch. As the kite goes up, up, up, third picture, top roll, carrying Beetle to the top of the rock. It hits the rock with a bump and Beetle hanging on for dear life exclaims, I'm sure her and my split are this gold shipment. Ballast yells, Did you see Roy Rogers across the valley? Beetle lets go and drops to the top of the rock. He ties a rope and pulley around the cleft in the rock and looks off down the valley. Last picture, top roll, he calls down to Ballast. Hey, it looks like Rogers is catching up to jutting the stage. The local transportation expert ain't far behind. First picture, bottom roll, is Roy Gaines on the state's coach in the escaping outlaw. Roy says, I could pick jut medicine off that state's trigger, wonder what happened to his sidekick. Roy rides up on the outside of the state's coach. When jut sees him, he fares a jut. Roy yells, go ahead and jut medicine. The goal is the important thing right now. Jut jumps off as Roy rides up and catches the reins of the lead horse and tries to stop the coach. Jut rolls over in the ground, gets up and hides behind a bush, third picture, bottom roll. He sees Cube Root, who's been tagging along behind Roy, coming along behind on the light buck board. As he nears him, jut puts a shot through Cube's hat. Cube brings his rig and says, jut medicine, you ruffian, I'll have you jailed for robbery for this high-handed... Shut up. I'll aim closer, Root. I want your nag and that buck board pronto. It certainly looks like it. I guess Roy didn't count on that. No. And just think, Beedle is up on the top of the rock now and he can pull the gold up there and then hide it. No. It looks that way. We'll find out more about that next week. Is now the time for Dick's adventure? It is now, and you'll find him on the very last page of this second section. I'm glad because you remember last week, Dick was dreaming that he was in the early days of America with George Washington and there's going to be a big battle. Yes, between the English Army under General Cornwallis and the American Army under George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. So let's read about it. Very well. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Rigidipaccazaccazic. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. Dick astride his horse, looks at the enemy soldiers who are now encircled by the Americans on land and watches the French fleet which is coming into the bay to attack the British from the sea. Dick says, Cornwallis and his red coats are dead ducks. We got them trapped here in Yorktown, Virginia and it's the last big battle of the revolution. Dick's optimism is premature, but despite the fact that Washington is Cornwallis surrounded and the powerful French fleet is shelling him from the Chesapeake, the doubty British general suddenly counterattacks with fury a last picture top row and this is with exceeding difficulty thrown back. All day long the battle continues. And second picture next row, near dusk, Dick sees the masts of British warships racing toward Yorktown to relieve the beleaguered red coats. And the big picture center of the page, the French fleet turns to head them off and that night the sky over the Chesapeake is aflame with burning English ships. Relentlessly over the hours the red coats are pressed into a smaller and smaller space. At last only two redouts remain to them, but no infantry can storm past this murderous crossfire. All night long the opposing armies face each other over a short distance of open ground. The British are dug in well, but it seems that in no way can anyone get at them. But at length, first and second pictures bottom row to end this fearsome siege, Colonel Alexander Hamilton and General Lafayette gain Washington's consent to a bold maneuver. In the first gray light of dawn, two companies of lightly armed cavalry wait for a signal. And it comes. Last picture Dick and his comrades are charging wildly past the redouts and into the heart of Yorktown. Dick cries, I've got to fall. Yes, right at the British guns. My tree. Well, next week we'll find out for sure. Oh, I can hide the way. Neither can I. Oh, look. Yes, and remember last week Tex and Rusty went to see a man named old Sam at the racing track at Lexington, Kentucky to see if they could learn something about snowflake, the horse the little girl Queenie had. Yes, that was because Tex had learned that snowflake was a trotting horse that pulled a little cart and not a race horse that wore a saddle. That's right. And you remember that when Tex described snowflake to old Sam, he remembered a horse just like that called Rhino Blanca. Yes. Let's read more and see if we can find out for sure if it's the same horse. Very well. Here we go with Rusty Raleigh. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Tex leans forward eagerly and says to old Sam, You see, the white mare you're thinking of was named Rhino Blanca. Well, that's Spanish for white queen, ain't it? What's her owner supposed to have done to get him ruled off the track, Sam? Old Sam replies. Well, it happened right on the track about the only serious competition the white mare had was a brown standard bread named Puba driven by corny butts. Puba and Rhino Blanca were leading the field at the far turn, neck and neck. When the left fork of corny butt sulky broke and he was hurt so bad he hasn't driven since. The association officials got an anonymous tip that cats would tend to the little owner and driver of the white mare tampered with corny sulky. Here, come with me a minute, and I'll show you. So he leads Tex and Rusty over to a pile of junk by one of the sheds. Last picture top row he picks up a fork which is a part of the sulky, the part that was broken and he says, Here's the very fork, Tex. He's been laying on this junk heap for months. Now, if you look close, you see the break shows that it was sawed about half through. There you see. Tex replies, All right, Cracky, you're right. You say the officials were tipped off? First picture bottom row, old Sam replies. Yep, somebody wrote him a letter suggesting they look into Catfoot Kendall's kit box. Sure enough, they found a hacksaw with fresh steel filings in the teeth. Hmm, that's pretty strong evidence, but it ain't positive proof. What did Kendall say? Oh, Catfoot swore he didn't even own a hacksaw. But another witness said he heard him say that he'd take care of Corny Botts. So they ruled him off all association tracks forever. And just same I say, I don't believe he did it. Tex nods his head thoughtfully and then says, I see. Well, thanks, Sam. Just a couple more questions. Who was Botts driving for and how did Kendall get that nickname, Catfoot? Oh, Corny Botts drove for grassy acre stables. As for Kendall, he got that moniker Catfoot because he always wore real soft shoes like moxons. Uh-huh, I see. Well, thanks again, Sam. I'll be seeing you. Tex and Rusty walk over to the car. Last picture. Rusty says, he doesn't seem like snowflake can be the horse Sam was talking about. Tex goes, her driver was Catfoot Kendall. But Queenie's name is Jones. Tex says, well, I don't know, Rusty. Drivers sometimes take a professional name. Uh, take a walk over to a shack and have a look at his shoes. A lot of interesting things. You know, he's just like my favorite detective, Nick Carter. Yes, he is. And I hope that these facts that he's learned will help him prove that Queenie's father wasn't the one who saw that horse. Yes, so do I. Because if Tex can prove that it wasn't Queenie's father, well, then he can run his horse in the race again and then maybe they can the win the money and live happily ever after. Well, we'll find out more about that next week. Now, that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fella with some more interesting information. Well, honey and all your boys and girls, I gotta go now. All right, Mr. Comic Wigglyman, but I'll be waiting for you next week. Okay, that's a date. And the date with all your boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with a little friend, Miss Honey, next week when I read Puff the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Wigglyman, the jolly Comic Wigglyman. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friends the Comic Wigglyman, the jolly Comic Wigglyman.