 The Kraft Foods Company, makers of Kraft quality foods, presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeves. It is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the one and only Miracle Whip solid dressing. We say one and only because there isn't any other solid dressing like Miracle Whip. It's different, delightfully different from any dressing you've ever tasted before. Miracle Whip has a lively teasing flavor that's peppy, but not a bit too sharp. It's a goodness that's downright appealing. Get Miracle Whip tomorrow. Like millions of folks everywhere, you'll be mighty pleased with Miracle Whip. Lawning in summer field, bright and clear. Skies are blue, birds are on the wing. It's going to be a wonderful day. Yes sir, it's bound to be because the Great Gilder Sleeve is coming down to breakfast this morning with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. And the skies are blue above. Well, good morning, little family. Good morning, auntie. Leroy, aren't you going to say good morning to your old uncle? Come out and cut egg on my mouth. Well, take your time. There's some more on your face. What an appetite. Morning, excuse me. Well, morning, Brady. I'm really hungry this morning. I could eat a couple of horses. Yes, sir. I have fried a scrambled bull. Sunny side up. I can make jokes, too. Everybody's in such a good humor this morning. Well, you're feeling pretty grand yourself, unky. Yeah, what happened? Nothing happened. Simply my usual frame of mind, Leroy, on a fine summer morning. I'll bet I know, unky. You were dreaming about Miss Milford last night. Catherine. You were talking in your sleep, unks. Well, I was probably just trying to get comfortable talking to my pillow. You got a pillow named Sweetheart? Yep. Yeah, what happened to the bridegroom? Where's Bronco? We left early this morning. He had to get down to the real estate office. He's really working. Yeah, he's got a hot prospect. What an eager beaver chasing hot prospects before breakfast. Here's your tomato juice, Mr. Guilds-Leave, and the morning paper. Yeah, I think I'll drink the juice first, Bertie. Well, I'll take the paper, unky. What a way to read the paper. She always looks for the society page. Well, girls like that sort of thing. Pass the salt, please, Leroy. Society. Suzy snort, plikes trough. The salt, please, Leroy. Maybe mop handle, plikes trough. The salt, Leroy. Why don't they always say they're plightin' a trough? Leroy, the salt. Why don't they say they're gettin' married? Leroy. Here's something interesting, Uncle Morris. What is it, my dear? The nursing staff at the hospital is giving a dance Saturday night. Well, good. Has Catherine asked you to take her, unky? Asked me? Well, sure. It's a Sadie Hawkins dance. You know where the girls invite the boys. It's a lot of fun. You'll have to call you up and ask you for a date. Ask me for a date? Hey, that's quite an idea. You better get busy, unky. I'll ask Dr. Olsen instead of you. Don't you worry about your old uncle, my boy. Hasn't she asked you yet, unky? Well, not yet, Marjorie. Give her time. Still early. The dance doesn't come off until Saturday night. As far as Dr. Olsen is concerned, she wouldn't ask him. Not a chance. I don't know. Me either. He's got a car with two exhaust pipes. He's got ears with no lobes, too, Leroy. If you're finished with your breakfast, why don't you go out and play? Have fun. It's fun here. Gee, unky, I remember before I was married. Before I was married. She was waiting to say that. Oh, seriously, unky, if there was a dance on Saturday night and I hadn't been asked for a date, I'd be worried. Well, my dear, that's the difference that experience makes. If Catherine calls and asks me for a date Saturday night, well and good, I may accept. If he doesn't call, I won't even think about it. But how can you be so unconcerned? As I said, experience, my dear. Nothing attracts a woman quite so much as a man who simply doesn't care. Well, you're right, unky. Absolutely. There's the phone. Unky! I'll get it, birdie. I'll get it. It's probably Catherine. I mean, probably for me. Holy cow, look at them gold. You finish your breakfast, Leroy. I'm going to work. Through the kitchen? Well, I'm going to get some matches to light my cigars while I'm at the office. I just wondered. Pinkerton, man. You're baking an egg coming right up, Miss Gilles, please. Baking an egg? Oh, yes, breakfast. Well, I wasn't thinking about that exactly, birdie. I was wondering if we ever returned that pie tin to Miss Milford's mother. Pie tin? I could stop by Miss Milford's on the way to the office and drop it off. Where is it, birdie? Oh, I took that back last week. Oh, you did, eh? Well, isn't there something we have of theirs that should be returned to Cookbook, maybe? Oh, Mr. Gilles, see, if you're going by Miss Milford's, you don't want to take a new pie tin of Cookbook. You could take her some flowers. Flowers? How about some of them roses in the backyard? Hey, that's not a bad idea, birdie. If there's one thing a girl always likes to get his roses. Yeah, that's right, birdie. A girl don't care nothing about pie tin to Cookbook. I know, birdie. A girl likes to get roses. Yes, birdie. Girls don't like pie tin to Cookbook. All right, birdie. Mr. Gilles, do you know what a girl likes? Yes, birdie. That's right. A girl likes to get roses. Gather a bunch of them. Leroy, where are the snippers? Like a bride's maid. Well, the more the better. If I send a rose to you For every time you made me blue You'd have a room full of Catherine. Well, it's Rock Morton. It is Rock Morton, isn't it? Yeah, it's me. I wasn't sure at first. I just got a glimpse of you through the leaves. I brought you a couple of roses, Catherine. Oh, they're beautiful. Thank you. Yeah, just going by. Well, I'd stop in and say hello. Well, how nice. Yeah, isn't it a lovely day? Is it? Hmm? Sure. Lovely day to stop and see a lovely lady. Oh, Rock Morton, I'm not even awake yet. My sleeping beauty. Really? Rock Morton, right now I'm just a tired nurse with aching feet. You look more like a princess to me. A prince is waiting for a prince to come along With a little glass slipper. All right, if you say so. The reason I stopped in, Our little telephone was busy quite a while last night. Oh? Yeah, I thought you might have tried to call. Well, I can't imagine for what reason. No. I tried to call. Well, good. I wouldn't want you to call and get a busy signal. Oh, there's my phone. Probably Dr. Olson calling from the hospital. How did he know I was here? He must have been following me with radar. I beg your pardon? Eh, nothing. Excuse me for a moment. Well, it's all right. Well, I'll see you later, Catherine. Well, goodbye, and thanks for the flowers. Eh, you're welcome. If I send a rose to you For every time it made me blue. Hiya! Leroy, what are you doing here? Just scouting around. Any luck? Oh, friend. Leroy, why don't you mind your own business? I don't have any business. Well, go find some. Did she ask you to the dance? Leroy, I'm not even thinking about that. I can't understand why you and your sister expect me to act like some giddy high school girl waiting for the phone to ring. It's ridiculous. Yeah. I'll get it, Leroy. Make mine for the... This morning. And you said, I'm glad to hear it. Is that right? Bessie, what are you talking about? Well, I came in and Mr. Gilda's asleep. You confuse me. Bessie, that's not possible. What's the matter with everybody this morning? All going around in circles. I'm all right. Then I have to put bells like that on ice cream. I don't hear any bells. What's that? Bells. I don't hear any bells. Bessie, how do you feel this morning? Have there been any calls, Bessie? Telephone. Who's it for? What? Bessie, the phone didn't even ring. Circles this morning. Come on in, Judge. Well, good morning, Gilda. How's the water department this morning? Is everything H2O? Relax. Sit down. Thank you. What are you going to wear at the dance Saturday night, Gilda? What dance? Good gracious, Gilda. The hospital dance. Hasn't Catherine asked you yet? Well, not exactly, Judge. Miss Matterhorn, head nurse in maternity, called me night before last. She's very cute, Gilda. Yes, yes. Guy's an adorable car. I bet. I can imagine. Probably a hard top studs. Gilda, the dance of Saturday night. Do you suppose Miss Milford's dating somebody else? Judge, I'm not the least bit interested. It's the silliest thing I ever heard of. Growing men like yourself, twittering around like sorority girls, waiting for a date. Well, of course I don't blame you for being a little sore since Catherine hasn't called you. I did it all, Judge. A lot of things more important than a Saturday night dance. Oh, of course. There's the phone, Bessie. Answer it. Expecting a call, Gilda. Don't be so nosy, Judge. Oh, Catherine. I told you she'd call, Judge. Oh. Hello, Catherine. Hello, Swachmorton. How are you? Fine. Well, good. Swachmorton, there was something I wanted to ask you. Really? You want to hear this, Judge? She's going to ask me for a date. Let me listen, Guilty. Go away, Judge. Yes, Catherine? I forgot to mention this to you when you were here this morning. Oh, that's all right. What is it, Catherine? I could do it. Be happy to. Certainly love to. All right. Oh, sure. I'll bring overalls. See you then. Bye. What did she say, Gilda? Well, let me... I heard you say you were going to bring overalls an ideal costume for a Sadie Hawkins party. I'll bet you got an invitation. Well, yes, Judge. I did, sort of. Good for you, Gilda. Now you and Catherine and Miss Matterhorn and I can have a jolly foursome. May we kick up our heels? No, wait a minute. I'll see you later, Gilda. I have to go down and buy some dancing, Tom. Yes. What's the difference? I don't think I have a date. Won't do any harm. He's so happy. I wish I was. Gilders leaves problem in just a moment. I know it isn't easy to plan a company menu that'll please all the guests, but when it comes to choosing the salad most likely to succeed, well, there you're in luck, because any salad that you top with a variety of Miracle Whip salad dressing will win cheers. Yes, whether it's a simple fruit salad or a fancy gelatin mold topped with Miracle Whip, it's bound to please. Miracle Whip is the most popular salad dressing ever created. Millions of folks prefer its peppy, appealing flavor, not too bland, not too sharp. Delicious Miracle Whip has a just right goodness folks go for. And it's a distinctive flavor, a flavor that just can't be copied because Miracle Whip is made from a secret recipe known only to craft. Actually, Miracle Whip is a different kind of dressing that gives you the best qualities of boiled dressing and fine mayonnaise. As a result, you get truly outstanding flavor, and that's not all. In texture too, Miracle Whip is outstanding with a velvety smoothness that's achieved by a special craft beater. So whether it's an extra fancy company salad or just a plain everyday family kind, for lots of compliments, make it with America's favorite salad dressing. Smooth and delicious Miracle Whip to the Great Gilders League. Right now, the water commissioner has something on his mind. And it's not water. Hi George, I'm not going to let a little thing like a dance bother me. Catherine doesn't want to ask me to go. All right. She wants to ask that sneaky intern, Dr. Olson, that's her business. I'm even going to think about it. I wonder why she hasn't called. I thought I'd get home a little early for dinner tonight. Anybody call, Bertie? No, sir, no calls. No calls, eh? No, sir. Anybody stop by? No, sir, nobody stop by. Nobody stop by, huh? No, sir. Just wondered. Yes, sir. Yes, I'll sit down, read the paper, dinner's ready. Yes, Bertie? You got the paper upside down. What? Oh, thank you, Bertie. Yes. Unky? Oh, hello, Margie. Any word from Miss Milford? Miss Milford? Catherine? About what, Margie? We do know, Unky, about the dance. Oh, that completely slipped my mind. She didn't even call you at the office? Well, no, I guess she didn't. I've been pretty busy all day. Uncle Mort, how can you be so casual about it? I should think you'd be going out of your mind. Me? No. As I said this morning, my dear, the only way to keep a woman interested is to pay no attention to her. Well, I thought possibly Miss Milford called you at the office. There was somebody using our line all afternoon. There was? She might have tried to call here later this afternoon. What, Unky? Just mumbling, my dear. Going over to Miss Milford this evening to fix the water heater. Probably get it all straightened out then. Sure. Not that it makes any difference to me, of course. Of course not. Hi, Aunt. Hello, Leroy. Any luck? Leroy? I'm just interested, Aunt. Yes, yes. It's like a baseball game. I want to see who's going to win. Baseball game. Tell Bertie I'll be back in time for dinner. Children, I'm going to run down to Peavey's drugstore for a minute. Dinner's almost ready, Unky. Well, I suppose I can go later. Well, I was coming home just now. I saw Miss Milford going into the drugstore. You did? Second thought, I guess I'll take a quick run down there. You'd better hurry, Aunt. She might leave before you get there. Leroy, that's not why I'm going. What are you so excited about? Who's excited? Simply because I want to run down to a dance to pick up a drugstore? I mean, get a cigar for Catherine? Oh! What's it doing there? See you later. It's you this evening. You looking for somebody, Mr. Guilford? What? Oh, no, Peavey. I'm just browsing around. If you're looking for Miss Milford, she isn't behind the telephone booth. I wasn't looking for Miss Milford. What were you looking for? Nothing, Peavey. I was just looking around. Is she anything interesting? No. Miss Milford was in about five minutes ago, but she left. Well, it doesn't make any difference. I'm going over to her house tonight anyway. Better give me a box of those assorted chocolates, Peavey. Very well. Not the dusty one, Peavey. How good. Well, I guess that'll do. I understand the nurses at the hospital are holding a big dance Saturday night. The Sadie Hawkins party, I believe it is. Yeah, yeah, that's right. The girls are inviting the men. What's so funny about that, Peavey? Nothing, except my cigar business has dropped off a lot the last couple of days, especially with the bachelors. Why is that? They're all sitting home by the telephone. Oh. Waiting for a ring, a ting, a ring. Ring a ting, a ring. Well, maybe some of your customers are waiting to be invited to that dance, Peavey, but not me. Yes, I know. Judge Hooker was in. He told me he'd been invited. What? Yes, he said Miss Milford had asked you to go with her. I know, but... That's what you told him, wasn't it? Yes, but... Miss Milford is a very attractive girl. Peavey, you didn't say anything about it to Miss Milford, did you? Well, yes. I told her I'd heard that she had invited you to go to the dance. Oh, my goodness. Anything wrong, Miss Milford? Peavey, why did you have to open your big mouth? What did she do? Well, she bought a lipstick. What did she say? She asked Dr. Olson how he liked the shade of the lipstick. Dr. Olson? Peavey, why didn't you tell me he was with her? Peavey didn't ask me. Huh? What did Dr. Olson say? He said you're beautiful in any shade of lipstick. He said that to her? Well, that's a ghostly view and sad to me. See you later, Peavey. Judge Catherine had invited me. The old blabbermouth. And Peavey telling Catherine, Gilder Sleeve, you put your big foot in it this time. Hello, Gilder. Wait for me. Oh, there's a judge again. I wish I could hide someplace. No, it's too late. I'm glad I caught up with you, Gilder. I want to talk to you about Saturday night. Not now, Judge. I've got a lot of important things on my mind. Oh, but Gilder, business can wait. Let's live. We're only young ones. Yeah, and I'm getting older by the minute. We'll all go in Miss Matterhorn's car. It's a two-seater. Two-seater? You and Miss Milford can sit in the backseat going to the dance, and Miss Matterhorn and I will occupy the backseat going home. I think that's only fair, Gilder, since it's Miss Matterhorn's car. Yes, yes. Going to be jolly, Gilder. The rear view mirror has been conveniently removed. Please, Judge, isn't there something you have to do, someplace you have to be? Aren't you late for an appointment? Gilder, I have only one appointment that matters. Eight o'clock Saturday night. Oh, how do you tie a can to an old goat? I have my wardrobe all laid out. It's a Sadie Hawkins dance, so I'm wearing blue jeans and my green cape. Oh, brother. Miss Matterhorn is going to find me irresistible. I'm going to put Sen Sen in McKaylack water. Does it? I've got to go, Judge. Well, I'm going in the same direction, Gilder. I know, but I'm going faster than you are. Never mind. Aren't you going to eat anything, Anki? Oh, my dear, I've lost my appetite. Then it's on, Mr. Guilfley. I think I'll skip dinner tonight, Bertie. You're going over to Miss Milford's to fix the water heater? Water heater? Hmm, I forgot about that. You look tired, Anki. Do you think you should go tonight? It's not a question if I should. It's due, I dare to. What do you mean? Nothing, my dear. Where are my overalls, Bertie? Get the pipe wrenchley-roy. You're going, Anki? Yeah. We all have to go sometimes. I'll go tonight. Exactly what happened? Make a clean breast of the whole thing. Well, George, that's precisely what I'm going to do. Confess everything. Why my knees are shaking? What am I afraid of? Catherine, that little tiny girl? But she's so pretty. Who is it? Oh, it's Rockmorton. It's you. Yeah, it's me, Catherine. Won't you come in? Come in? Oh, yes. Thank you. I hope you'll forgive me for being so dull when you stopped by this morning, Rockmorton. Dull, you? I've been working night and day all week at the hospital. I'm simply walking around in a fog. No, you're not. Catherine, I want to explain about that. Rockmorton, why are you wearing overalls? The dance isn't until Saturday night. Dance? I hope I didn't tell you the wrong day. What? Oh, I was so worried. I thought I'd called you and asked you about the nurse's dance Saturday night, and then I wasn't sure. You thought you'd called? Yeah. I didn't want to call you back and ask if I'd called. Naturally. You would have thought I was stupid. Sure. I mean, no. I'm going to be perfectly truthful, Rockmorton. I didn't know if I'd called you or not. And it was Mr. Peavey who saved my life. Mr. Peavey? He told me that Judge Hooker had told him that you had told Judge Hooker that I had asked you to the dance. Those two fine old men. Now I've confessed. Well, little Catherine, come here. Oh, Rockmorton. I'll remember why you're wearing the overalls. The water heater is leaking. Let it leak. We'll be right back. Next time you want to please your guests with a super good appetizer, serve a big platter of stuffed eggs, and for that extra party touch, try this. Chop up some crisp, broiled bacon and add it to the egg yolk stuffing. Of course, you'll want to add salad dressing, too, just the right amount of just the right salad dressing. And what could be more right than miracle whip with its teasing, tempting flavor, the delicate, zesty goodness that's made at the most popular salad dressing ever created? Remember, when you want a salad dressing with a truly distinctive goodness, you'll be delighted with the one and only miracle whip. What a wonderful day this has been. Yes, sir. Come on, Leroy. First, can I say something? Certainly, my boy. What is it? Well, our scout master asked if we'd tell everybody to be extra careful with matches and stuff when we're out in the woods this summer. Oh? Do everything we can to prevent forest fires. Be real careful. Everybody. Very good, Leroy. We'll all be especially careful. All right, folks. See you all next week. The Great Gilders League is played by Harold Perry. The show was written by Paul West, John Elliott, and Andy White with music by Jack Meaton. Included in the cast are Walter Kettley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Kathy Lewis, Gloria Holliday, Earl Ross, and Dick Lagrange. This is Jay Stewart saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company. Makers of the famous line of Kraft, quality food brought up. Good night to you. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for all the adventures of The Great Gilders League. Here's a taste test that counts. Try any meat without mustard. Then add a golden dab of Kraft-prepared mustard to your next bite. Taste the difference. There are two kinds of Kraft mustard, you know. Salad mustard delicately spiced for those who like their mustard mild. Or Kraft-prepared mustard with snappy horseradish added. Have both on hand. Remember this. When you add a little mustard, add a lot of tang. Get Kraft-prepared mustard. Join the excitement of Break the Bank.