 Craft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve! These company makers of parquet margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. Craft brings you the Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time, written by John Whedon and Sam Moore with music by Claude Sweeten. Here from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. About this time of the year we'd like to give you June Brides to be a little special advice. Not advice on how to make your first biscuits but advice on how to serve them so they'll taste extra good. Just try spreading them with delicious parquet margarine. Your meals are sure to get off to a grand start when you choose a spread that's as delicious and satisfying as parquet. And you'll be getting off to a right start on your food budget too because parquet margarine is downright economical. Remember too that parquet is tops in food energy value and every pound contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A. So do as millions of homemakers do. Buy and serve delicious nourishing parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y parquet margarine made by Craft. Millions prefer parquet to any other brand. Now let's see what's happening to the Great Gilder Sleeve. We find him opening his morning mail and among the circulars from plumbers, investment houses and people who want to sell him a used car is a letter postmarked Wistful Vista. Well, Wistful Vista. Is it from Fibber McGee, Uncle Mort? I suppose so, Leroy. I wonder what the little squirt wants now. Is it from Mr. McGee? No. Listen to this, children. Who's it from? Wistful Vista. Uh-oh. You're wrong, Leroy. Listen, dear Mr. Gilder Sleeve, upon checking over our records, we find you have an unclaimed savings account with us, which we have taken the liberty of transferring to your bank and summer field. The amount, with interest to date, is $209.14. We're ready! I can't believe it. What's going on in here? Uncle Mort, this family gets crazier every day. Stop it, stop it. We're not rich, Bertie. We never will be. You don't have to tell me, Mr. Gilder Sleeve, I gave up long ago. But apparently I have come into a little money. Where are you going, huh? I'm going to call Mr. Todd at the bank. I'm going to ask him if the money's come in. This might be McGee's idea of a joke, you know. Some joke? No worse than some of the... Oh, hello, Mr. Todd there. Mr. Gilder Sleeve. If it is a gag, I'll take that little twerp McGee and squeeze $219.14 right out of his ears. Hello, Mr. Todd. I want to find out if you've received a deposit from my account this morning from... You did? That's right, $209.14. Thank you. Stop it, you shake down the house. What are you going to buy with all that money, uncle? Well, I'm going to think it over. And in order to think, I need to be alone. And to be alone, I need a cigar. See you later, children. What can I do for you this morning? I'll tell you, Phoebe, give me $1,050 cigars. What's that? Oh. Can I put them in a bag or will you just smoke them here? Only joking, Phoebe. So is I. But it just so happens, I could almost buy $1,000 cigars today. Had a little windfall this morning. Savings account I'd forgotten all about. You don't say. I've never been able to forget a penny. Must be a wonderful feeling. Great. But I'm not blowing it all on cigars, Phoebe. Let me have three of those three for a half. That's it. That'll be 62 cents. 62 cents for 50 cents worth of cigars. That's inflation, Phoebe. No, no, no. It's all taxed. Oh, well. So long as I'm rich. I wonder if you've considered investing this windfall. That's the only thing. There's a lot of that, but it might be a good idea. Well, you could spend it. Only most of the stuff you buy these days, it junk. But after the war. You're right. They're going to be reconverting pretty soon. I wouldn't say that. The war isn't over. Well, it's all over in Europe. If I take this money and put it into some company with good reconversion program. Maybe I can get it on the ground floor or something nice and solid. Television maybe. Air conditioning maybe, Phoebe. Or aviation. Everybody's going to own helicopters after the war. I was thinking of something a lot solider than helicopters, Mr. Gildesley. What was that? I was thinking of war bonds. Care to buy one? Oh, well. I'm sorry to bring this up, Mr. Gildesley, but I have a quota and I thought that since you'd come into some money. Well, Phoebe, war bonds are a fine investment. Fine investment. Every citizen knows it to his country to invest in war bonds. It helps finance the war. It helps control inflation. That's what I say. $25 bond. That'll be $18.75. Yes, sir. Glad to do my bit, Phoebe. At the same time, a man's got to think of his future. So I'll just look around for some industrial investments too. Reconversion is important, Phoebe. They need capital. Oh, various manufacturers. I'll find somebody that needs money. Don't worry. Don't you can do that. Say, what am I worrying about? You're right in my front yard. I'll bet Rumson Bullard knows plenty about investments. That makes sense to him. Because he's retired. The fellow that retires has to have his money invested and he has to watch it like a hawk, Phoebe. If he loses it, he's got to go back to work. Dear me. Yes, sir. Should have thought of that in the first place. I'll go see Rumson Bullard right away. What about the bonds, Mr. Gildesley? I'll pay you later. Attention to Leroy, Uncle Mort. I thought of something really practical. Now, now, I'm not going to buy anything, so just save your breath. Oh, Uncle Mort. But we really need a sofa, Uncle Mort. I'm absolutely ashamed of ours every time Marshall Bullard comes over. I didn't come home to argue with you, children. I'm not going to spend the money on fripperies. I'm going to invest it. Will you get out of my way, please, Leroy? Me? I'd like to go upstairs and put on a clean shirt because you just got dressed. Well, I'm going over and see Mr. Bullard for a minute. Uncle Mort, the furniture in this house is awful. The couch isn't fit to sit on alone even. The discussion is closed, Marjorie. Well, I don't see why you should change your shirt just to go to see Mr. Bullard. You ought to see what he's got on. I'm not changing it for him, Leroy. I just didn't notice when I dressed this morning how worn this shirt was. What's Bullard got on? An old pair of pants like the ones that he was wearing. Is he doing some work in the yard? No, he's just knocking a golf ball around out behind his house. Golf ball? Well, that ought to be easy. I guess I won't change my clothes after all. Another addict of the grand old game, I see. What? Oh, hello, good asleep. You play golf? Do I play golf? I'm afraid I'll have to plead guilty. Nice putting stance you've got. Ernie Traffton taught it to me. He's the pro at the Stony Meadows Club Is that where you played back east? Mostly, that was my home club. Most of my friends played there. A lot of Wall Streeters, I presume. Wall Streeters? Well, I imagine most of your friends were big stock market operators, weren't they? Oh, no, no, just ordinary businessmen. You want to try a couple of putts? Oh, thanks. I guess you played the market in your time, haven't you, Mr. Bullard? I fooled with it a little, but it's bad medicine. Go on, hit the ball. The hole is that tin right over there. A little tin? Oh, sir. But as I was saying, I'm thinking of reinvesting some of my investments and some of my funds, Mr. Bullard. And I just thought that maybe as an old market manipulator, you might know a little inside information you'd be willing to pass along to a neighbor. Well, I'll give you a tip. I'm listening, Mr. Bullard. Put your money in war bonds. And if you're not going to hit the ball, give me back my putter. Not bad. Wait, I'll drop another ball and see if I can beat you. There. Now. We're about even. No, I think you're a little better. You were with United Refrigeration, weren't you, Mr. Bullard? With him for 20 years, yes. I was wondering, what would you think of United Refrigeration as an investment? You'll just leave, take my advice, and stay out of the market. It's no place for amateurs as I found out myself. You'll never convince me of it. Well, that is practically out of it. I knew it. You've still got an interest in the company, haven't you? Well, naturally. Tell me. They'll be reconverting one of these days, won't they? Of course they will. That is, I suppose they will. I haven't any inside information. Oh, no. Thanks very much, Mr. Bullard. The word to the wise is sufficient. But don't worry. I won't tell anybody else. I'm afraid some more smart people will get in there too. Make it tough for them. But he certainly gave himself away. Yes, sir? Just grab myself a few shares of that United Refrigeration. Leroy! Can't find that kid. I don't know how many times I've told him not to leave that bicycle on the side. Can you call me, Aunt? Get this bicycle off the walk. It almost broke my neck just now. I'm tired of hearing you say that, Leroy. Well, there goes my electric saw. Why did he have to trip over it? Gosh, if I found $200 practically lying in the street, I'd buy stuff for everybody. Expensive stuff too. I'd buy everything I saw and hold his department store window. I won't be able to get all this furniture immediately. But if certain plans work out... Oh, unki darling. Furniture. Oh, no, my dear. There's nothing certain yet. Of course it isn't certain the sun will rise tomorrow either. How soon will you know? It won't take very long if my calculations are correct. There might be a waffle iron for you too, Brady. If you kill Steve, if you buy me a waffle iron, I promise you won't regret it. Yeah, I know that, Brady. Waffle iron. And if everything goes well, I might even get Leroy that electric saw. But don't tell him I said something. He-he, the old son of a gun. Well, I'll play along with him. Just a few seconds. An hour brief word picture of an appetite-arousing meal. In the kitchen, Mom has whipped up a big batch of pancakes. She flips them hot off the griddle. Johnny grabs one after another of those golden brown griddle cakes and stacks them on his plate. Pass the parquet margarine, please, he shouts, because that's the way they taste extra good. And Johnny's right as can be. Pancakes, waffles, hot breakfast toast, and just plain slices of bread. All taste extra good when you spread them with delicious parquet margarine. In fact, millions prefer a parquet to any other brand. Millions like parquet's fresh, delicate flavor. They like the energy it helps to provide so economically. And they like the fact that every pound of parquet provides 9,000 units of vitamin A. So those millions of homemakers do buy and serve delicious nourishing parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine, made by Kraft. Now let's get back to Gilder Sleeve. Gilder Sleeve the Financier. For three days, he's been following the ups and downs of the stock market, and he's been like a kid on roller coaster. Fortunately, there have been more ups than downs. Today, the 50 shares of United Refrigeration, which he bought at four and a quarter, have skyrocketed to seven. Seven and a half. Seven and a half. Now, when Gilder Sleeve gets hold of a good thing, he's not a man to keep it to himself. So when he sees his next-door neighbor, Mrs. Ransom, going by, he runs the window and hollers. Leela! Leela, where are you going? Wait a minute, I'll be right out. I'm on my way to the lending library. Miss Trimble just phoned me. I'm next on the list for forever amber. Well, forget it, Leela. Come on up on the porch and sit down. Oh, I can. Oh, come on. I can't. I've been waiting two months for this book. I'll save it for you when I finish, if you like. Oh, I'm too busy to do any reading these days. Well, if you're so busy, what are you doing home in the middle of the afternoon? Why aren't you down at the water department? I'm letting my secretary handle that. I have more important things to attend to. Well, I don't tell everything I know, but you'd better be nice to me, just the same. Now, why should I be nice to you? What have you ever done to deserve it? Nothing. I just thought you might like to know that I came into a little money recently. That's all. Let's sit right down here on the grass, shall we? No. Strockmont, stop it. Why should I? Please, there's a little boy coming. Oh, hims. Hello, Craig. Where's Leroy? I'm wanting to play with me. Leroy? He's in the house somewhere, I guess. Why don't you go ring the bell? Who's she? Well, this is Mrs. Ransom. She lives next door, Craig. Lela, this is Craig Bullard. How do you do, Craig? My, oh, fun big boy, aren't you? Where's Mr. Ransom? Mr. Ransom is no longer with us. Now, if you want Leroy, I want him to come out. I want him to play with me. Well, just go ring the bell and he'll come out. What are you doing? We're sitting on the grass. What does it look like we're doing? I want Leroy to come out and play with me. All right, go get him. We're busy here. Just go right up to the doll, honey. Don't be afraid. He's there, all right, Craig. Just walk in. Now, where were we? Money or something. You stick with me, Lela, and you'll wear diamonds. I couldn't possibly accept a diamond from a man I'm not even engaged to. Well, I didn't mean that literally. Oh. But I can tell you how to make some money, Lela, if you'd like to. What do I have? Promise you'll be nice to me. Well, come here. I want to whisper in your ear. Whisper what? A secret. What's the secret? United refrigeration. What? United refrigeration, Lela. It's a stock. I bought 50 shares at four and a quarter three days ago, and already it's up to seven and a half. Is that good? Good. If it keeps on at that rate, Lela, I figure in four months it'll reach 132. That's where I sell. And make a tiny little profit. Oh, I think it's so exciting. I've always been done to make some money in the stock market, but my husband, Beauregard, he was always so conservative. Holly left me with some little old municipal bonds. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to sell them and buy what you've got. You know what I'm going to do, Lela? I'm going to collect a little broker's fee right now. Yes. Let go. Let go, silly. Here comes Judge Hooker. Well, it's a little gambling on the green, huh? You mind your own business, Horace. Oh, Horace, I'm so glad you're here. After all, you're my attorney. You need one? Well, I suppose I ought to consult you as long as you're here. Hey, you know those little old municipal bonds that Beauregard left me? Sound as the racket you brought, Lela, and not a thing to worry about. Yes, well, I've decided to sell them. And buy some stocks, the kind that Trackmont has. Lela, are you crazy? Now, just a minute. He'll just leave no absolutely nothing about the stock market. Listen, people go around making such a mystery out of the stock market. It's as simple as A-B-C, Judge. Just buy when it's low and sell when it's high. That's all? How do you know when a stock's going to go up? How do you know that it won't go down? Never mind how I know. I know, that's all. I bought 50 shares three days ago at four and a quarter, what did you say was the name of the stock? Ha, I'm not telling. But if Lela here wants to buy some... Yes, my dear? Your secretary's calling from the office. Tell her I'm in conference. Tell her I can't be disturbed. I'll call her back. And Marjorie, do me a favor. Call up Mr. Todd at the bank again and ask him the latest quotation on United Refrigeration. Ask him what? Just ask him how my stock is doing. He'll understand. But now? Ask him what time the market opens in the morning. Now, Lela, my advice to you is let the stock market strictly alone. Lela is taking her advice from me, Judge. Well, come to think of it. Horace may be right, Trockmorton. Down home everybody said, oh, Colonel Delacis never would have shot himself if it hadn't been for the market. And of course, they're all as poor as church mice now, the Delacis. Well, I know the case right here in town. Man bought stocks on margin, got caught short, wound up committing forgery. In the pen right now. His family's on relief. I hope you haven't bought this stock on margin, Gildy. Uh, heeeeeee. What'd he say, Marjorie? Did you get him? What'd he say? He said the stock is at nine. Nine? Hee-hee. That's up a point and a half. What'd I tell you? And the market opens at five. Five o'clock in the morning? That's impossible. It opens at nine. He said the stock has dropped to five. Five? What do you think, Judge? Do you think I ought to sell? There's not a thing you can do till tomorrow, Gildy. My advice to you is to sleep on it. Sleep on it? How am I going to sleep on a thing like that? I won't sleep a week, Judge. Now, Gildy, I wouldn't worry. I have a very simple rule that I follow in these cases. Huh? What's that? Buy when it's low and sell when it's high. Oh, go on and laugh, you old girl. Why did I do it? Seven and a half. Seven and a quarter. Seven. Six and three quarters. Six and a half. Six and a quarter. Buy when it's low and sell when it's high. Oh, shut up. Six. Five and three quarters. Five and a half. Oh, no. Five and a quarter. Five. Four and a half. What happened to four and three quarters? Four and a quarter. Four. More margin, please. But I can't. More margin. Well, give me time. Give me time. Pee-vee. I've tried everybody in this town. At least you're my friend. You lend me some money. God, please. You've got me with my back to the wall. If you say no, I'm ruined. No. But this bank, I'm an old depositor here. I'm sorry, Mr. Gildeslieve. We're not in business for our health. And think of my children. My little nephew, Leroy. And my little niece, Marjorie. And the net even. Not for myself, but for my poor... Bless her heart. And then there's good old Birdie. No. How about it, Mr. Todd? Are you going to let these children starve? Are you going to let them sell Birdie down the river? Sorry, Mr. Gildeslieve. We'll have to close you out. What time is it? About 8.30. 8.30. The market opens at nine. Get out of here. I've got to get some clothes on. I've got to get over and see Bullard. Leroy, is it home? Is your papa in? I want Leroy to come over and play with them. I'm a little in a bit of a hurry. Yes, it's important. Is your father home? I want to see him. What do you want to see him about? Never mind. Well, I want to see him about. Just go tell him I'm here. Someone at the door, Craig? Oh, man. Oh, hello there, Gildeslieve. Run along, Craig, and go and finish your breakfast. Mr. Bullard, I don't know if you've heard, but United Refrigerations dropped two points. Well, I thought you'd want to know. I mean, we've got to do something. I mean, you've got influence. I mean, United Refrigerations? I told you, I got rid of all of that two years ago. As a matter of fact, I got rid of all my stock two years ago. But I thought... Yes, sir, I sold out all my holdings and I put in every nickel I had into government securities. Government securities? War bonds. And between you and me, I've never regretted it. No blood pressure when the market drops. No more indigestion. And I can sleep like a baby at night. Oh, that's more than I can sleep. After all, I don't know where you're going to find a smarter investment, like you. Oh, no. No, indeed. Not as smart fellows. Well, thanks for the tip, Mr. Bullard. I mean, well, thanks anyway. I've got to be going now. Just thought I'd drop in and say hello. Look out there. I told Craig not to leave that there. Everywhere I go, bicycles. I've got to see you. Well, Mr. Gillis, you feeling bullish this morning? I'm feeling terrible. I want to sell out. I want to dump all my holdings. You're sure you've considered this? It's been dark for three days. You don't have to run a horse all season to know when it's a dog. Oh, Miss Van Rath, what's the latest quotation on United Refrigeration? United Refrigeration opened at four and a quarter. That's just what I paid for it. Well, now it might go up. It might go down. Sell it before I go crazy. Sell 50 shares for Mr. Guildersleeve's account. Now, might I ask you, Mr. Guildersleeve, if you're contemplating some other investment? You darn right I am. War bonds. Very wise choice. Oh, no, you don't. I'm buying these from a place I can trust. Well, Mr. Guildersleeve, war bonds are war bonds. No matter where you buy them. Well, I'm not taking any chances. I'm buying mine at the drug store. Only that, Peavey, it's your patriotic duty. That's what I'm saying. This war isn't over yet. No, sir. We still got the japs to beat. That's what I'm saying. You hear all this talk about post-war conversion. I bet you don't hear any of that on Okinawa. That's what I'm saying. Any man who doesn't put every cent he's got into war bonds, he's not only unpatriotic, but he's a darn fool, because war bonds are the best investment in this world bar none. So don't let anybody come in here and tell you ought to ease off on the war bonds and put your money into something else. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Well? That's what I'm saying. Very well. And if I ever do it again, Peavey, I hope you'll give me a good swift kick in the shins. No, I wouldn't do that. I mean it, Peavey. Well, goodbye, Peavey. Goodbye, Mr. Goldersleeve. The bonds will be mailed to you. And thanks for the order. Not at all, Peavey. Thank you. You're great, Goldersleeve. Good name for him. What a character. Well, it takes all kinds, doesn't it? That's what I'm saying. I heard that, Peavey. Good night, everybody. We'll see you again next week at the same time while The Brother Adventures on The Great Goldersleeve. And I'll hear special news about a really different kind of cheese food. A cheese food treat you can serve in a hundred or more delightful ways. It's Pabstette, spelled P-A-B-S-T-E-T-T. Pabstette, the delicious cheddar cheese food. Pabstette is a different kind of cheese food because it spreads like butter at room temperature, mixed with luscious smoothness into an appetizing sauce that you pour over macaroni, hot vegetables, chicken and fish for extra cheese flavor goodness. Pabstette toast to perfection, too, makes grand sandwiches and snacks for all occasions. Pabstette is extra nourishing, extra easy to digest, and the children simply love it. Treat your family to both tempting varieties, golden Pabstette in the yellow package and pimento Pabstette in the red package. Pabstette of a hundred uses. This is the National Broad...