 I'm back Why'd you say it like that? Pausing the video really quick to let you know that one this video is sponsored by Squarespace and two to show off our incredible new working space That's crazy. Yes. So yes Give them the grandeur and the grandeur is what Squarespace is all about It is an all-in-one platform that allows you to build a stunning Website to have incredible email campaigns to have an online shop with you So to desire Essentially, it's the space for your next big idea and here is a really really big promo I want to share with you if you go to squarespace.com slash shan booty You get 10% off your purchase of a website or a domain even bigger than that Every single person regardless of where you're at or what you think you want to build You can try Squarespace for absolute free for two weeks and again that is going to Squarespace comm slash shan booty Right now. I am working on building something I want to tell you more about it at the end of the website, but right now Let's go back to the content and again shout out to Squarespace So how was tour? Tour was an incredible experience, you know, life-changing mind-changing and It just lit a fire in my ass with about music and it got me into conversations and doors and a lot of Exciting things that I can't share yet, but will be that are on the horizon that that are our direct result of this tour And it just got me thinking about Time because I know in order for those things to Actualize completely. There's a lot more time that I'm gonna have to put into music, you know as of right now I don't put that much. I put what I can And I wanted to restructure my life so that I can put what it needs and how do I fit where the business doesn't suffer But it still has I still have the time to put into music Which is time management and that's when the Conversation starts obviously when you were gone I kept thinking like when Jared gets back then things will be normal And then the next thought would be like what's normal anymore and you suggested like okay Like I just want to be as just as involved as ever with the business because that's my strength What about the on-camera piece? I immediately went into like a sense of panic. Yeah. Yeah, why? I'm cool, you know, but I'm like that cool. You're the expert And that was a good thing for me like why is the thought of Jared not being as available? to shoot with me and make content with me making me afraid and I realize this because I'm Afraid to be creative. So if without you here, I gotta think a new shit I have to come up with topics and conversations that I haven't had before I got to push myself out of my comfort zone. I can't just go to the person who lives with me and When I realized that you would become like a creative crutch here on my channel That's when I knew this was the best decision. I think for both of us Yeah, I think all in all it's gonna be a good thing I do think it's gonna be a good thing and also good because since you've gotten back Scheduling with you has been so hard like you've been up doing a lot of the business element at night Yeah, when we go to sleep because that's when you have the time and so Finding time for us in the day to like sit and create something has been difficult. You even have to leave. Yeah now So I'm kind of grateful for that too to not be on Somebody else's schedule who's really as busy and so I think it's gonna be better for us all around But it is very nerve-wracking for me because I love it like I actually Re-listened to the first episode of lovers and friends. Oh really and if you haven't listened to this episode It's called help. I can't orgasm. Yeah, you and me have the most Beautiful conversation at the end. It's a very like this is a weird statement because I'm like I'm glad this is there for our kids Listen to one day. Oh, like this is my mom and dad's relationship. That's weird because it's so TMI Yeah, and it's about my vagina But it's just like the fact that we have these examples of our love that have been recorded And I can look back and be like wow like that's really an experience that I have with this person Like this is real. Yeah, that's so precious to me. Well that to be said, I know you have to go I want to be respectful of your time because you are always respectful of everybody's time Jared is like the most punctual person the planet And I love you and I'm grateful for the Intellectual energy you've given to this work on camera as a presence I'm grateful for the intellectual energy that you give to my life overall. I know I'm not saying goodbye to you No, but you're kind of saying see you around ish to everybody else. Yes I'll see you guys around. Don't matter where you're at. What you're doing is if you're on this channel, I'll be watching you Every step you take I'll be watching you every move you make I'll be watching you Every breath you take every word you say I Will be watching you I'm in the shadows Hello there lovers and friends, that's from my og YouTube family and community. Hi, how are you? I've missed you and I feel like we need a digital hug a digital Reconnecting and I don't know if you have felt that from me But I've definitely felt a disconnect with my YouTube community with YouTube in general especially in the past couple of years and Again, like I was mentioning when Jared was here that him talking about easing up on being an on-camera here was like a place of panic for me, but also a place of Acknowledging that that's because this has become a Stressful unhappy place for me and a lot of that has to do of course with the kind of content that I'm putting out And how I feel about that content In the past couple of years since becoming a mom I have become a lot more protective of my family that mama bear instinct, but also not any less private Because being open and vulnerable and oversharing my family experiences has worked really well for me But I also knew that there was a conflict happening on the inside where it actually wasn't bringing me joy to read people's Projections or assumptions about my family So what I ended up doing for this past little while is continuing on with the same content Even though it really wasn't bringing me joy to put out there in the world I might have had a great time making it like don't get me wrong Sitting down talking with Jared is so much fun to me and I love doing it, but I didn't love Reading people's assumptions again. I'm in the comment section. So I Stopped doing that and it became a real one-way relationship And I didn't realize until recently how much that impacted the way that I felt about YouTube and the way I felt about my YouTube community at a whole and Actually a couple of videos ago. I can't remember which one it was one of the videos that again I put out because it was personal and so I didn't read the comments because I was afraid of what I might see there and For some reason one night I was up late and I decided to go read the comments And they were beautiful and it really reminded me of the golden era I feel on this YouTube channel where I actually knew you I knew you by name I knew sometimes some of you by your little small tiny, you know icon You know Isabella comes to mind Ellie comes to mind as people who I intimately got to know here through the comment section, but I knew you by story and Because I was so afraid that some of you might be judging my private life that again I became so protective over I like blocked myself off from the opportunity to connect with you in that way and So again when Jared kind of mentioned wanting to redistribute his time It was scary for me But also like the shake-up that I needed because I realized I actually don't want to make that kind of content anymore Which is frightening because I don't know what kind of content I want to make So I have another YouTube channel. Actually, let me just state that And that is lovers and friends the podcast full episodes are now available And if you have felt like creatively, I have not been devoting myself to this YouTube channel You might actually notice if you follow me on other platforms like Instagram or tiktok You don't really ever see the videos that I make on YouTube Redistributed anywhere else. That's because I'm not Holy passionate about them in the way that I am about lovers and friends the podcast. I love that channel I love that outlet. I love the stories. I'm telling there, but I recognize that because it's not just my own stories. There's guests There's topics. There's you. I always have audience involvement the work that I'm making there I am like completely passionate about and on every other platform I feel like I've found that flow there that creatively I know what I'm putting out is something that I am excited to see the feedback that I receive And here on this channel in particular, I've not been excited about the feedback I've been fearful about the feedback Mostly because the kind of content that I've been making has really not been true to where I'm at in life So I don't know That's what this video really is to say when my creative crutch Is being taken away. I don't know what this space is going to be I do know lovers and friends the podcast channel The youtube channel will continue to be a space where you can rely on those incredible topic-based conversations to happen I do know my instagram will be a place where I post clips of lovers and friends my most proud work Where I post, you know clips of brand partnerships that i'm doing where I post little pieces of my family moments The fun flashy stuff youtube tends to really call upon you to post about the hard stuff That's what works here But on instagram I find that the fun and flashy stuff works the things i'm proud to share works really well there And that puts me in a position to ask What kind of content do I want to make because I do want to continue to make content on this particular youtube channel This channel this community for those of you who have been here for a long time Especially genuinely means a lot to me. It's a part of my dna It's a part of my story and not just my career story my personal development story So I get emotional sometimes when I think about YouTube and I know so many other creators to feel the exact same way I was actually watching a video from jackie. Aina talking about why she posts less on our youtube channel and the weird relationship that you get into Where the people get overshadowed by the algorithm? And you start to confuse the two and now you're like people just want negativity versus knowing that it's the algorithm that really wants that of you They do know that you can depend on this channel to be One that listens to you. It's going to be a lot less of an echo chamber a lot more of an ongoing dialogue i'm going to devote myself to Making some videos that don't work to trying things out creatively that are a little left or a little right But they're just different So I want you to embrace different on this channel And I want to hear in an ideal world. What would different look like for you? We're creating a brand new relationship here Still going to be based on sex love relationships and dating But a little bit less on my life and how i'm interacting with those things and a little bit more hopefully educational conversational Who knows what else? So i'm really happy to be at the place that i'm at now in our relationship where I feel Clear about what has to happen next And what has to stop in order for us to get to the next phase of intimacy together and I also just want to say Genuinely how grateful I am to sponsors like Squarespace Because if it wasn't for my Squarespace partnership that encouraged me to continue to make content here I would have abandoned this place a place that has brought me so much joy and has brought me so many epiphanies Do the comment section and has brought me a community that has carried me through some of the darkest times in my life I would have abandoned you because of my own misdirection So i'm grateful for that partnership that has Held me down here instead like keep going and you'll figure it out together And I do feel like we're on the cusp of figuring things out Once again shout out to Squarespace for sponsoring this video and like I've mentioned to you I want to show you what i'm doing right now So I actually have all these sites that are done by Squarespace that are biased and I am going to my email campaign is down here I'm going to be restarting my email mailing list It is so old and I don't know why people are there or what they signed up for and so I really just want to connect with people Who I know are there for the right reasons and want updates on the work that we are doing here in this beautiful space Did you make a did you did you give a little shout out again? There we go If the work that we're doing here in this beautiful space and how I can continue to keep you involved And if that sounds of interest to you, please sign up if you care about lovers and friends the podcast Please sign up Squarespace is an incredible tool like I said It's a one-stop shop for all of your marketing needs all of your Visual display needs when you want a home that you own and you control You can connect with your community and you want to connect them in a stunning way Squarespace is a place to do it whether you have a member's community You want to have a portfolio? You have an online store. You have a blog or like me All of the above. This is an incredible tool for you. I've been using it for years and years And if you're not convinced by my verbal pitch, don't blame you. You got to try it for yourself And I love your instincts So the fun thing is you can actually try Squarespace for free for two weeks by going to squarespace.com Slash shan booty. You don't put a credit card information and that thing it's really totally free And if you like what you build and have a great time there and love How easy it is to create a visually stunning space to call your own You go back to squarespace.com slash shan booty That's how you get 10 off the purchase of a website or a domain and then one day you'll have a list like me Um to play with and have fun with and to build with and to dream with and I really enjoy it And I think you will too so info box for more information Keeping it simple. I need me a tempo to get in there was never my ammo. I play like a fiddle I don't feel no pain. She in a vanity living a fantasy gel. I'm about as he can't be contained