Designer Vagina Song by Melissa Main





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Published on Apr 16, 2013

FREE DOWNLOAD: http://melissamain.bandcamp.com/track... and Join my Mailing list here: http://eepurl.com/liLPP
I'm saving up for a designer vagina
Model 3000 with a bell and a zip
I'm saving up for a designer vagina
Gonna finally be one of the cool kids

Do you love your labia ladies?
Do you love your labia?
Do you love your labia ladies?
They say that it's true
That every girl could do
With a tidy and a trim
On what the cat dragged in

I'm gonna get me a designer vagina
Ken and Barbie will start returning my calls
I hope they set me up with a real man
With sprayed on jocks and no actual balls

All I've got to do is make the appointment
I'll have to book early to avoid disappointment
I'm really not nervous not even a bit (or-us)
Was I supposed to put in writing that I want to keep my clitoris?

Do you love your labia ladies?
Do you love your labia?
Do you love your labia ladies?
Everybody's doin it
Don't want to be different
Labelled as the lopsided, long lipped, labyrinthed freak show that
You are?

I've got my legs up in the stainless stirrups
And sir doctor man has got a blue posca (texta/marker) in his hands
It's like he's a seamstress, lining up the darts
With correction marks along my private parts

I'm telling you I'm legs up getting all ready
When Doc widens his eyes and holds himself steady
Cos a voice can be heard with wisdom and grace
Although not a word leaves the lips on my face...

It is my labia. Singing.

Don't cut off your lips to spite your face!
coz love can languish long in lazy symphony
In the soft and warm, passionate embrace
In diversity of colour, length and symmetry (asymmetric is the new black, baby)

You got to love your labia ladies
You got to love your labia
You got to love your labia ladies
The petals of a flower should never be trimmed
Long or short or odd or fat or thin
Or even plain old weird-looking.

Please share as you will: I encourage versions or responses in any art form you like. I myself was inspired by art like The Great Wall of Vagina, 101 Vaginas, "The Perfect Vagina" program, a book called "CUNT", recent news items (the rise of labiaplasties, local crafters knitting and crocheting big, beautiful vaginas for art and protest) and people everywhere who challenge ridiculous social trends like cosmetic surgery.

I play a charango, but here are the pretty easy ukulele chords for any of you who would like to give it a crack :)

C 0003
F 2010
Dmadd11 0210
F note xx1x hammer to F# xx2x

Dm 5555
Em 7777

20xx (fingerpick alternate) A then C
10xx G then C

Fadd9 0010 strum to 0020

Subscribe to my mailing list if you'd like to hear some of my other songs (most of those are not about vaginas, just so you know):

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