 Transcribe. Now listen to Father Knows Best starring Robert Young's father. A half-hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons. Brought to you by Crosley. Makers of pace-setting products for happier living. Crosley Automatic Television, oh boy. Beautiful Crosley-Shelvedore refrigerators. The world's most convenient. Wonderful Crosley Automatic Electric Ranges. Crosley-Shelvedore Freezers, color-style radios, and many other leading home appliances. You remember the tale of two cities, don't you? How through it all sat Madame Lafarge, her knitting needles fashioning endless anti-McCasses, or something. But this is a tale of one city called Springfield. And when knitting needles start to clatter in a certain white frame house on Maple Street, something is going to come down on somebody's head. Like this. Betty, are you sure you had 440 stitches when you cast on? Of course I'm sure, Mother. I counted them at least 440 times. Margaret, I'm home. Let me see those instructions again. I counted 318. Stay out of this, not head. I don't have to knit head. Girls. Margaret. We're in the den, Jim. Now, Betty, let's start all over. You cast on 440 stitches. Hi, honey. Hello, Betty. Hi, Father. Fine, Dad. Margaret, where do you hear what I have planned? Hello, Jim. I'm not late for dinner, am I? Dinner may not be ready for some time. See, Mother, I don't get to 420 until I knit 41 and 2 together. No, Betty, it's when you do 42 and 2 together. I say 318. What are you girls knitting, a football jersey? Father. Betty is making a hand-knit dress, and I certainly think they could make these instructions clearer. A hand-knit dress? All the girls in my class have hand-knits. All of them? That's quite a yarn. Well, the Andresky and Janie Liggett do. How long has it taken to knit one? It took the Andresky three years. Oh, great. Daddy, guess what I've decided to do for my birthday party? Just a second, kitten. I came home intending to tell your mother something, and now I... We'll simply have to unravel to the 18th row and start over from there. Margaret. Oh, I just hate to knit, and this dress will probably look horrible on me when it's done. Betty. Can we discuss my birthday party now? Kathy. Or would we unravel to the 20th row? Girls. I know what. I'll change to a popcorn stitch. I'll be right down. Cut, cut. Yes, Dad? Aren't you ever going to learn to come down those stairs quietly? Where's dinner? What dinner? I heard someone say popcorn and I'm hungry. But... Kathy, go turn the gas on under the peas. Let's see now, 25, 24. That's what I wanted to tell you, Margaret. Don't make any plans for the evening of the 22nd. We'll still be working on this on the 22nd. And I really ought to be doing my homework. Betty, you say you hate to knit, yet you're neglecting your homework and upsetting the whole family's routine to make a dress. What you admit is going to look horrible on you. Why? She's explained it to you, Jim, because the other girls in her class have hand knits. Well, if that isn't a prime example of keeping up with the Joneses. Daddy, now can I tell you what we're going to do at my birthday party? Yes, as long as you aren't going to knit dresses to impress each other. I'm so hungry I could eat in that dress, practically. All right, bud. I'll get dinner on. I'll head with the dress now, Betty. Remember, dart on the 20th row. Thank you, Mother. You're a brick. Even a brick might not be bad. With ketchup. Bud, your younger sister's been promised a floor. Go ahead, kitten. Huh? You had certain plans for your birthday party. Oh, sure. I'm inviting 20 kids, Daddy, and I'm going to take them horseback riding. That'll be fun. On whose horse? On whose horse? We need 20 horses. We're going to rent them at the Riding Academy. Rent 20 horses? Well, that would cost a... I'm sorry, Cathy, but it's out of the question. But, Daddy, we have to. I've already invited everybody, and I promised we'd go horseback riding. Well, let them pin the tail on the donkey. It's practically the same thing. It is not. Do you want me to be humiliated in front of Patty Davis and Jimmy Woody? Of course not, kitten. But what do they have to do with us renting 20 saddle horses? Don't you think other kids have birthday parties, too? How do you suppose I'm going to feel when Jimmy Woody's uncle takes all his guests riding in an airplane? Air sick, I imagine. Huh? Never mind. When Patty Davis has her party, she's going to take all the kids to the townhouse for dinner. Oh, rats. I've been knitting and purling for the last three rows when I should have been knitting and slipping. Betty, for heaven's sake, why don't you give up? And let Janie and Deanne have the laugh on me. Please, Daddy, we have to rent those horses. Cathy, Betty, I want you to calm down for a minute and listen to me. You're both making yourselves miserable for a very foolish reason. You'll be a lot happier when you realize that you don't have to keep up with the Joneses. Dad. Think for yourselves. Follow your own tastes. The Joneses aren't such great shakes. Dad. Life's greatest rewards come when you paddle your own canoe. Now, what is it, bud? Gee, Dad, how did you guess? Guess what? What I was going to ask you for. You must be a mind reader. But if I seem a little slow, it's because I'm hungry. What do you want? My own canoe. Will you get me one? Oh, for heaven's sake. Joe Phillips folks are buying him a canoe. He's going to take it up to their cabin on the river this summer. But we don't have a cabin on the river. And you don't need a canoe. What if Joe's going to have one? Didn't you hear what I've been telling your sisters? Sure, you said life is swell when you have your own canoe to paddle. There. I hope you don't mind waiting just a few minutes more. I popped some biscuits into the oven. Now, Jim, what was it you were going to tell me when you came home? How should I know? All I've heard is how we have to keep up with Janie Liggett and Patty Davis and Joe Phillips. What happened to the Joneses? Why can't we ever do the things we'd really like to do? Oh, now I remember. Margaret, don't make any plans for the night of the 22nd. All right, Jim. What's happening then? The annual service club minstrel show. Oh, that. I won't be able to go, Father. I'll still be working on this darn dress. Count me out. I've seen Mr. Harvey's stale magic act for the last three years in assembly. They make us sit there and watch just because he's the principal. I'll be glad to go. My birthday isn't until the 29th. Well, I'm sorry, Cathy, but you kids aren't invited. This is a special treat for your mother and me. Oh. Addle boy, Dad. Thank you, Mr. James Anderson. Um, Jim, do we have to go again this year? Those same jokes do get a little boring. But it'll be fun, Margaret. I thought we'd get some friends together and have a regular theater party. Well, that might be better. Who did you have in mind? Oh, maybe the Smiths, the Ligets, the Lawsons, and the Woody's. And we can think of another couple. 12 of us? Sure, I have 12 tickets to get rid of. That many? But, Jim, it isn't fair to ask those people to buy tickets. Well, I didn't plan to sell them the tickets. I thought it would be our treat. That's fine, but they won't enjoy the show. Margaret, I thought maybe if you sort of whipped up a ham or a turkey, a little salad and a couple of casserole dishes and baked a couple of pies, don't go to any fuss. We could have them over here for dinner and then sort of spring the minstrel show on them at the last minute. Why, we'd probably have a very pleasant evening. And I'd have a very pleasant morning and afternoon, too. Feeding 12 people is no simple matter, Jim. But I told you not to fuss. Dear, why don't you just pay for the 12 tickets and tear them up? We'll stay home and enjoy ourselves. Margaret, we can't throw $12 away like that. Besides, some of my best friends are in the cast. What kind of performance do you suppose they'll give if they see a roll of 12 empty seats? The same kind of performance they always give. But... That'll do, bud. We've got to go, Margaret. Well, all right. It will be sort of fun having the crowd for dinner. But, oh... What's the matter, honey? Jim, I will not entertain in this house again until we get a new shower door. A shower door? What's that got to do with it? It won't close. Margaret, none of the guests will shower here. But, Jim, if they should... Well, we'll write on the invitations. Come clean. I meant if they should notice it. The door creaks. And, well, it's just plain old-fashioned, frosted glass. I'm ashamed of it. You should see the lovely new shower door Elizabeth Smith has. My gosh, Margaret, you too. Elizabeth says three-toned glass with goldfish. When do we eat? Just as soon as we settle the shower door. All right. Get a new shower door. Oh, you're sweet, Jim. Betty, will you see if the biscuits are done? Sure, mother. Would you please finish this row for me? Of course, dear. It's knit and slip. Doorbell, bud. Doorbells. I'd like to get away from it all. In a canoe. Have you thought any more about the horse's daddy? Canoes, horses, shower door, slip stitch dresses. Well, at least you'll never catch me trying to keep up with the Joneses. Dad, it's been a while. Dad, it's Mr. Davis. Oh, hello, Ed. Hi, Jim. Hello, Margaret. Hello, Ed. Hello, Mr. Davis. I hope I'm not interrupting your dinner. Not at all, Ed. No such luck. I stopped by at the printers on the way home, picked up the tickets for the minstrel show. Thought I'd deliver yours now. Fine, Ed, I'll... By golly, Jim, the service club ought to give you a medal. Oh, it was nothing, Ed. Just give me the tickets now. Margaret, your husband is a mighty generous guy. Oh? How much are they, Ed? Everybody in the club was signing up for only two tickets. Looked like we'd get rid of only 50 at the most. Ed, have you got changed for... So, finally, Jim Hathaway volunteered to match the highest number anyone bought. Maybe I've got the right change after all that. Let's see, they'll be... But I never knew the day when Jim Anderson had let anyone get the jump on him. He offered to double the number anyone else bought. Oh, so that's how Jim happened to get 12 tickets. Ed, if you'll just... 12? Jim, haven't you heard? No, and I don't think I want to. Well, after you'd gone, one of the fellas bought tickets for his whole darn office staff. 20 of them in all. 20? Sure. So now you've got to take 40. Here you are, Jim. That'll be 40 bucks. $40? Ed, who was the man who bought the 20 tickets? Well, who besides an insurance man or a banker could afford that many? Oh, no. Don't tell me... By sure. Jones. Herb Jones. And now here is our very special guest, lovely and talented Hollywood star, Margaret Lindsay. Hello. You know, these days, there's so much wonderful entertainment of all kinds on television that night after night, you're sure to find top sports events, comedy, drama, whatever you like best. And with cross-le-automatic television, you enjoy television at its finest. You're assured of the best picture and performance in all TV. That's true even in poor reception areas. Crossley gives you the sharpest, brightest, clearest picture possible and does it automatically. You just relax in your favorite armchair and enjoy uninterrupted entertainment. What about picture disturbances? Crossley eliminates them for you automatically. How about adjusting the control so the picture stays steady so the sound and picture match up? Not when you own crossley-automatic television. All that is done for you automatically. But don't take my say so. You go see crossley-automatic television at your crossley dealer. You'll be convinced. In picture and performance, crossley is the leader. And comparison will also show you that crossley's authentically styled cabinets are the most beautiful you can buy. See crossley-automatic television soon. It's the finest in television, priced to make you doubly happy. It's several days later in the Anderson home. The clock indicates more or less the same hour it did when this minstrel show situation came up. But the Anderson's are all busy getting rid of those extra tickets. Like this. But what are you doing with the phone, Bo? I'm calling Mr. Crawford at the music store. He might like minstrel shows. Hiya, bud. Where's the fire? Oh, hello, Dad. Hello, Kathy. Daddy, I've got some... Hello, Margaret. Hello, Jim. Wow, what's the news around here today? News around here? Well, all five couples are coming to our dinner party. Great. With us, that makes 12. Only 28 tickets to go. But the Lawsons are the only ones who don't have their tickets already. Only 36 tickets to go. Tickets today. Here's the money. Wonderful, kitten. The man who put in our new shower door bought them. He didn't want them at first, but I convinced him. Good girl. How did you do it? I took six showers. He finally decided to buy the ticket so we could finish his work. Well, that leaves us with only 34 tickets. Mr. Crawford's an end man in the show. He doesn't need tickets. The cast may outnumber us yet. Have you sold any, bud? He sold one. I sold it to Joe Phillips. You did. Joe told me yesterday he didn't want to go. The ward got around school that Mr. Harvey's using the new English teacher and has saw a woman in half-act. Oh. Joe says he wants to see how you split an infinitive. Hello, Betty. Father, my knitting club had the ticket raffle today like you suggested. Well, fine. How did it go? We raised $5 for our automatic yarn winder fund. And we got rid of four tickets, huh? Terrific, Betty. Now our count's down to only 29 tickets. I won the raffle. Oh, no. Well, we're back to 33. Would anyone like to try for 34? I don't know. There must be someone in Springfield who likes minstrel shows. Here's a man in the phone book who might be interested. Mr. Samuel J. Minstrel. Maybe I'll try him. Jim, wouldn't it be easier to tell Ed Davis we can't use 40 tickets? He'll take them back. And re-nig on a promise? Not Jim Anderson. Besides, my seats are right smack in the center of the theater. If they're not occupied, it will be like putting up a sign. Jim Anderson is against the minstrel show. I want those seats filled. We could borrow some dummies from the department store window. But... They'd laugh as hard as anybody else. Too bad my birthday is the 29th instead of the 22nd. That'd be 20 seats filled. 40 with horses. I'll tell you, Daddy. I'll come anyway, no matter what anyone says about the show. Thanks, kitten. You know, your mother and I were very selfish not to include you kids in our party. Betty and Bud, we'd like you to join us, too. Don't look at me, Father. I can't knit in the dark. Will you get me a canoe, Dad, if I go to the show? You'll get a paddle if you don't go. Hey, that'd be... Jim. I'm sorry, Bud. I realize it isn't the fault of you kids. If I hadn't tried to keep up with the Joneses, or Jim Hathaway in this case, we wouldn't have all these count-founded tickets to get rid of. That's a pretty common failing, dear. But could I keep still and let it go with two tickets? No. I had to pretend I was a big shot. And what was I? Just another sheep waiting to be sheared. Father, may I slip this wool over your arms while I whine? People are just like sheep. Everyone has to do what they see everyone else doing. Wait a minute. I know how to get rid of those tickets. Jim, get that expensive look out of your eyes. We're going to make the whole town think there's a scarcity of tickets to the minstrel show. For that show? Father, no one's that gullible. They are, and we'll prove it by the oldest trick in show business. We'll spread the word the show's a sell-out, and everyone in Springfield will want to go. I kind of want to go already. Just how do we accomplish this theatrical miracle, Jim? Well, we're not going to try to sell tickets any longer. We're going to try to buy them. Jim, maybe you should all get away for a good long rest. If we go somewhere by a lake, a canoe would be fun. We just pretend we want to buy them, Margaret. Now listen carefully, all of you. From now on, each of us will ask every person we talk to if they know where we can get extra tickets for the show. We ask everyone we talk to? Everyone. Old P.T. Barnum Anderson is about to cause a one-man run on the box office. And before it's over, Ed Davis will be begging to buy my tickets back. They'll be scalping tickets to this show before I'm through. Answer it, will you, Kathy? I'm all tangled up. Who makes you think it's for you anyway? I just hope your plan works, Jim. We're spending a lot of money lately. Don't worry, honey. You know, Betty, when I get off the hook for these tickets, I just might give you the money to have that dress mitted. Oh, Father, would you? What would you think of just a plain rowboat? I think you'd need water for it. Dad! What did, Kathy? Your idea. I asked the man on the phone if he knew where I could get some tickets. And it worked. That's my girl. Who was it? It was our doorman. He said his wife didn't want to go anyway, and he'd be glad to sell me back his tickets. I, uh... Uh-huh. The only thing is, I took six showers for nothing. Hello, elite cleaners. Mr. Tompkins, this is Mrs. Anderson on Maple Street. Are you delivering Mr. Anderson's gray suit today? Good. He needs it. Oh, and Mr. Tompkins, by any chance, do you know where we might be lucky enough to find some tickets to the service club minstrel show? Oh, in the pocket of the suit when you return it. How nice. Yes, I know. Just add it to our bill. Goodbye, and thanks. Thanks. Yes, this is Bud Anderson. Oh, hiya, coach. Yeah, I was the one asking the fellows about tickets. You'll let me buy yours. Oh, the English teacher is your sister-in-law, and she gave you passes. Yeah, swell. Swell. Hi, Janie. Say, when you bind off the sleeves, how do you... Oh, would you kiddo that be keen? I'll be... You did. Four more, huh? Sure, I'll pick up the tickets when I come over. That's real George. Real George. Where is everyone? Don't anyone answer it. We'll be bankrupt. I'm right here, Margaret. Hello? No, this isn't Potter's plumbing. Say, do you happen to have any extra... Oh, never mind. Hello, dear. Who was it? Hi, honey. Wrong number. Thank goodness. Oh, that's Susan Wilson. Hello, Daddy. What's wrong, kitten? Taking me to that old minstrel show for my birthday. Why, it's going to be a wonderful show. No wrapped up presents. Hiya, Dad. The cleaner just brought back your suit. He said there's a surprise for you in the left-hand pocket. Don't touch it, Jim. It's a booby trap. Oh, this thing is getting too expensive to be funny. Won't you please call Ed Davis? Margaret Ed Davis will be coming to me. So we're getting a few extra tickets. He'll want those, too. I'm setting up the ticket run to end all ticket runs. Well, the ticket seemed to be running right into our living room. I asked a dozen people today. The gas station attendant, the waiter in the cashier where I had lunch, the elevator boy, the drugist. Why, the word will get around that there's a ticket shortage. Something's bound to pop. Father, the drugist said he bought these tickets for you. Here, that'll be $4, please. This is costing a fortune, Jim. I'm afraid we're all going to have to give up the little luxuries we've planned. And I'll send the shower door back. Wait a minute, Margaret. It's not that bad. You mean I can't have Mrs. World at my dress? No canoe, Mom. No horses for my party? Stop sounding so tragic, all of you. We're not licked yet. Oh, no. There's no horses. You'll want me to play pin the tail in the donkey, I'll betcha. That's probably Joe Phillips. He said if he could get hold of any more... I'll get it this time, bud. There's one person in this house who can still say no. What a family. No faith in me at all. I'm sorry, but... Oh, Ed, come in. Hi, Margaret. Dad, it's Mr. Davis. What did I tell you? Didn't think it would work so fast, but... Hi, Jim. Kids. Hi, Mr. Davis. Why, Ed, what a pleasant surprise. It is you, Mr. Davis. I never saw anyone look so good. Well, do I look any different than I always do? You look like 20 horses to me. Happy. Jim, I came to see you about the ticket sale. Oh, how's it going, Ed? Real good. It's the darndest thing. All of a sudden, everybody's looking for tickets. The committee's all sold out. Well, sold out, huh? Yeah, I was just wondering if you had any extras you could spare. Have you? Kathleen. Gosh, Ed, I guess I could let you have about 48. 52. 52? Say, that's wonderful. We sure didn't want to disappoint anybody. Of course not. Well, just in the last couple of hours, I've had requests from the fella at the gas station, the waiter, cashier in the restaurant, elevator man. Well, good. And you know, Jim, I think your generosity is partly responsible. I wouldn't be surprised. The word gets around about a good show like this. Well, I'll be going. And Jim, instead of paying you for those tickets, I'll exchange them for you. Exchange them? You said you were all sold out. Oh, didn't I tell you? Well, so many people have asked for tickets. We figure we can easily fill the house again. So we're going to have a repeat performance on the 29th. What? Yeah. As soon as all those tickets are printed, I'll return yours, all 52 of them. Thanks. Well... Real George. Fun. Yeah. You know, friends, you can't really enjoy television at its finest if you're forever jumping up and down to adjust the controls. That's why the biggest thing in television today is cross-lead automatic television. Television that automatically adjusts itself to give you the clearest, brightest, steadiest picture in television. And that's true even if you live in a so-called fringe area. Once you've selected the station you want, you just sit back and enjoy the show to your heart's content. With cross-lead, there's no getting up to eliminate picture disturbances or keep the picture steady or fiddle with the sound. No, sir. For when the picture's right, the sound's right automatically. Yes, at your cross-lead dealers, watch cross-lead automatic television in action. Admire the lovely authentically-styled cabinets. You'll say, here's the finest in television. Price to make you doubly happy. The three-year-old jokes have been cracked again. The English teacher has been sawed in half. The end man have ended, but they haven't given up. For tonight, the service club minstrels present their repeat performance. Or should we say, spread the olio once more, like this. It won't be so bad, kids, really. You'd be surprised how good those fellows are with a big audience. There will be 52 Andersons and friends, anyway. Gosh, the basketball team will never speak to me again if they're bored. Well, my club won't mind if it is, doll. We're all taking our knitting. We'll have a great time, and all of my seats will be occupied. Say, shouldn't your mother and Kathy and her birthday guest be getting back? We ought to be leaving for the show. Two hours of horseback riding in a wee roast take a little time, Father. Jim! Ah, there they are. Get your things on, kids. Daddy! We're all supposed to meet down there at 7.30. Jim, I'm sorry, but you'll have to find someone else to fill the seats. You save for Kathy's party. What? That's impossible, Margaret. Well, then, they'll just be vacant. But I thought Kathy's friends... We can't help it, Daddy. We had such a long horseback ride, none of us can sit down. Now enjoy something excitingly new in radio listening. See and hear Crosley's gorgeous new color-style radios. Special tone engineering gives you sharp crystal clear reception from stations near and far with no fading or blasting. And these lovely Crosley radios are decorator-designed in a variety of sparkling, brilliant color combinations to bring fresh new beauty to your home. You'll find exactly the Crosley color-style radio you want among the wide selection of models at your Crosley dealer. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson with Roy Bargy's Orchestra. In our cast were Ted Donaldson as Bud, Gene Vanderpile, Rhoda Williams, Norma Jean-Nilson, and Howard Culver. So until next week in this same time, good night and good luck from the Crosley Division of the Avco Manufacturing Corporation, America's leading manufacturer of today's pace-setting refrigerators, television and radio sets, electric ranges, home freezers, and many other products for happier living. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Paul West with Fran Van Hardis-Felt and Callie Curtis. Now it's Mr. Keen, tracer of Lost Persons on NBC.