 So I was at a coffee shop, those of you who follow my posts, you might know this about me. I get into some really strange conversations with people at Trader Joe's, at Target, coffee shops, pretty much anywhere it just happens to me. But I was in a coffee shop once and I met this, it was actually during a blackout. We had a blackout in the Bay Area. The power company actually shut off purposely our power because they were, yeah, there's a lot of complaints about them, but anyway, we won't get into that. But they shut off our power and we were completely in the dark. So everybody, of course, went to charge their phones and laptops and whatever else at the coffee shops. So I ended up sharing a table with this husband and wife. The wife ends up being this really high profile executive in marketing. And she goes on to share with me that she, I was startled by what she shared. She said, there's millions and millions and millions of influencers online. And she said, for people like her, there's entire databases that she's like, it's so easy for us. We could just go plug in whatever product they're like working on. And without any human interaction contact whatsoever, she can pair up the most perfect or ideal influencers online that would match that product and then work out a system where they're basically selling the product online, never having used it, never having talked to anyone just because there's financial perks for them, obviously, to do that. But she went on to talk about, she questioned the ethics of what she was doing because she's like, it's all a lie. We're just pushing this out to people because some of these people, like for example, let's keep it real. Have you seen the commercial? Gosh, I don't know which company it is. It's some hair color company, maybe L'Oreal, I don't know what are those, but I think Beyonce is the one who's selling it. It's like a hair product or hair shampoo, maybe color. How many of us actually believe that Beyonce is using drugstore company, hair color and shampoo? This is how sad it is that these people who are, I mean, they have some of these people stuck for a lot. Their egos are so big, they have gold toilets. You think they're going to go and use a product from the drugstore? Highly unlikely. But this is the world we live in now where these people have so much influence in our lives. They tell us about everything, what to eat, what not to eat, what to wear, what to buy about everything. But in addition to that, they're doing something else. They're actually shaping our ideas and our beliefs about ourselves. And this is where we really have to examine this whole concept of why women are feeling inadequate. Well, if you have not just in previous times, I mean, you had your mom, your dad, your siblings, maybe your immediate family members, your extended family friends, a handful of friends, and they were telling you, do this, do that, marry him, don't marry him. It was kind of like that. But as women now on top of all of those influences, now we can at any point of the day go on our Instagram, Facebook, and subconsciously, even if you think it's not affecting you, it is. They say, look at the research. A person who spends time online inevitably walks away with lower feelings of happiness and satisfaction, because just by looking at a news feed, you can walk away feeling absolutely depressed, demoralized, like, oh, I'm a loser. What am I doing with my life? Right. And it's this constant stream of negativity that we sometimes aren't aware of. And just as a side note, it's important to mention this, because I feel like women, we need to study certain things. We need to study patterns, especially when we see patterns in society. Back in 2010, I believe, or 2000, I don't know, this while ago, I came across a research paper. You can Google it. It's called the paradox of declining female happiness. This was published in 2009. It's a 40-year research paper. And what did they do? They examined women from every single cross-section in the country, from every background, you know, racial background, but also economic, socioeconomic background, education, marital status, children, no children, every cross-section. And they found that from the 1970s up until this was published in 2009, that there was this trend of decline of fulfillment, of happiness. And it's kind of, you know, it goes against what we're told, right? Because what happened in the 70s, right? I mean, the message that we get is that, you know, the sexual revolution happened, women empowerment, women came into the workforce, women came into politics. We achieved so much because of all of that. Yay, yay, women, women, right? But what's happening to our happiness level? Why are we reporting that we're increasingly unhappy? It's difficult, obviously, when you're measuring something that's subjective to come with finite answers, but they did conclude two things. Two things that they noticed is, one, is increased anxiety, okay? And this is very much in line, you know, the Prophet Salaam said that there's a piece of flesh in the body. If it's at peace, right, the whole body's at peace. And if it's not, right, everything else is kind of, you know, out of, out of, or not with peace, right? So what is that piece of flesh? It's the heart, the spiritual heart, right? And so anxiety, there's definitely something there that if you're feeling, you know, those feelings of anxiety and depression and sadness, there's something spiritual there, right? So they're noticing that that we're just, and it's also because we're juggling so much. We're wearing multiple hats, we're constantly, you know, pulled this way and pulled that way. So it's going to make us more anxious, generally speaking. The other part of this study revealed that there's also been a decline of social cohesion. So while we're taken on so many different roles and we are advancing, yes, in certain areas, what we're not doing is what we should be doing, which is getting together more. Women need other women. We have to come together. And by coming together, I'm not talking about, you know, going out for coffee and going shopping, going watching a movie. That is like not a good use of your time. If you have very limited time with your girlfriends, please do not go watch a movie. I think that is like the utter waste of time. Because what do you do? You're just sitting there staring at a screen, right? Together. No, watch your movie separately, get together and talk. Because when you talk to one another, you're actually experiencing the benefit of female energy, of female intelligence, of female insight, of female experience. Those are things that are not afforded to us anymore because we're all in the wheel, right? We're all in that hamster wheel caught up. We're going from one thing to another thing and we don't have enough time to talk. And one of the big mistakes we make, and I know if you're married, you know this, is at night when we're exhausted and tired and so and so did this and so and so made me upset and blah blah blah, we look to our husband and we're like, I want a vent, right? And what do you do? You turn to him and he's maybe, you know, reading or on his phone or snoring, I don't know. But he's probably not really interested in what you have to say and then he gives you, yeah, okay, okay, okay, I told you so, don't do it. In a few words, and you're even more frustrated, right? That's what happens. Our husbands are not the people to turn to for those issues. They want to fix your problems. They do not want to listen to you. So that's why we need female friends. We need companionship, but we're we've lost that so much. And then we're measuring ourselves constantly to a world that is filtered, right? A world that's cropped, a world that is not real, but that's what we're measuring. So when we think about imposter syndrome, I mean, is it any wonder why we're, we are the way that we are? It's obvious. We're not doing what we should be doing as, you know, as we're instructed to. Our Dean is the Dean of Jamal. We're supposed to have sisterhood. We're supposed to get together and do meaningful things, right? And so I just wanted to talk about that, but just back because it's important to know even the word influencer, by the way, you know, for those of you who care, it's, you know, there's, there's tears that I didn't even know about. There's tears. So there's micro influencers, then there's small influencers. So micro influencer is someone who has 5,000 to 25,000 followers. A small influencer is 25,000 to 100,000 followers. Big influencers have between 100 and a million macro influencers have one to 7 million and then you have celebrity influencers. I mean, I think it's quite amazing that we, you know, we look at people with so much power in this way. I mean, to have the ability to influence 5,000 people, that's, and that's considered like a low level, like, oh, you're just a small influencer. You're not that important. But 5,000 people is a tremendous amount of people to be able to, you know, affect their, their ideas and make them, you know, go this way or that way, right? Stuff put a lot of, like, that's a lot of power. Who wants that kind of, I don't, I certainly don't want that kind of power, right? I don't want to power over that many people. I don't want, I mean, even my children, I'm like, become independent, you know, I want them to be independent minded. I don't want them to constantly ask me every single second what to do, right? So I think it's interesting that our society looks at this as being something worthy of praise because now everybody wants to be an influencer and we measure ourselves with how many likes we have, how many followers we have, as if that's a goal. It's an amana. It's an absolute amana to have that responsibility that people look to you for guidance on anything. So we should actually really, as Muslims, be a little wary of being enticed into that world. But I feel like it's happening to so many people where we're just like, again, we're drinking the Kool-Aid, you know, we're, we're following, and this is the process of reminding, or, you know, he warned us about this. During the end of time, we would just follow the footsteps of others, right? Even if they go into a lizard's hole, we'll be right there behind them. We have to be able to see the dangers ahead of us. And this is an area that I think is really important, but it impacts our self-confidence, which is so important to know that that's not something we should, you know, uphold or as some goal that we should want in life to become an influencer, especially for the youth. I know it's a very strong message that is put out there constantly, especially with women and young girls, but I just wanted to mention that. Now, as far as, you know, and I think Wasada Zaynab mentioned this when she talked about validation, it's so important to go back to this question of, okay, so who are my influencers? What am I influenced by, right? What is the standard? Who's standard am I, you know, am I trying to measure myself to? And this is where that, you know, this constant internal questioning, it leads you to the, you know, to the answers. And if you are being honest with yourself as Muslims, the answer should be all unanimous. We should all have the same answer, right? That our standard is, is who, who's standard should we measure ourselves by? Who's standard? The standards of God, that's it. Not what so-and-so celebrity tells me, not what so-and-so, even family member tells me, not even what so-and-so husband tells me. You know, we are created, Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala created us and he elevated women. What one of the greatest things about the Seerah, I mean, there's so many beautiful things, but what I love is that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam started with elevating and honoring and giving women and young girls when he stopped, you know, the practice of female authenticide and he restored the honor of the life of a girl and a woman. And then in the very end of his message and his last khutbah, he focused on what? Take care of your women. So this is a full circle for us to realize we are above all of this and we need to go back to really looking at ourselves through that, again, lens of tawheed that our beautiful teacher reminded us about, that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala is the one who matters, only him. And one of the ways to do that is, yes, to go through that internal process of ask yourself, but also to look at the female heroines of our time. Mashallah, you know, Asad gave us insights on the lives of two people, but I wanted to look at some other women as well, inshallah. Just because we can look at how much they've done for us. And if we need to appreciate them, I feel like we don't appreciate them. You have Muslims who have memorized details about their favorite celebrities. They know everything. They have posters on their board. They have them on their, you know, screening savers, whatever they follow them. They do everything, but they don't know about these incredible female women of our history. Let's look at, for example, I mean, if you study her life, what a remarkable teen girl. Okay, let's keep it real. She was a teenager, but her Ibadah and her conviction with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala was unshakable, unshakable. She was given a place to worship. I mean, first of all, she had Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala the guidance of a prophet, right? Prophet Zakaria. But imagine how much power she had in that. Her Ibadah was so strong. He would watch her and he would admire her like Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. She, you know, she was just in her chambers, which was part of the, you know, the Masjid or, you know, the house of worship at that time. She had her chambers where she worshiped all day, every day. And he was so amazed by her that he, she's actually the inspiration for why he made the da'a for Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala to give him an heir. Even though he was old, his wife was barren, but he asked Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala after witnessing her. So talk about an influencer, right? Talk about an influencer. This teen girl influenced a prophet of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala to make da'a that he is given another child because he wanted to raise another one like her. That's incredible, right? Mashallah. And look at how, by the way, you know, when we talk about naysayers and haters, all that stuff is real. We know it. There's people out there like that. But Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, look how she handled it. They were slandering her. They were saying the worst vile things about her. But Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, she just, what? Ta'a Wa Ta'ala, she trusted her Lord. So if you're in a situation where people are ever doing anything negative to you, don't fall into, you know, don't, don't, don't get yourself muddied with their filth. Be above it, right? They go high, low, we go high, right? That's how we should do it. That's, that's Islam. You go straight to Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. And the other example of that, which I think is amazing, is Sid Naysha. Look at, if you haven't read the story of the scandal, right? If, read it and look at her response. Another incredible, shining example of true faith in Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. Again, she was slandered. She's a wife of the Prophet's wife, and they were spreading the most horrible rumors about her. And she was, she felt so ill, poor thing. For one month before she even knew what happened, nobody told her that rumors were being spread about her. I don't want to ruin the story for you, I want you to read it yourself. But just to make this point, she was sick for an entire month, then she finds out the rumor, she got even more violently sick the night, the day that she found out about the rumor. More than the entire month, she was physically sick. She cried for almost 24 hours, because they were slandering her and she couldn't believe it. She actually asked to go to her parents' home, and there she asked, you know, her parents like, can't you defend me to the Prophet's life son? And they, they didn't know what to do because he was the Prophet of Allah standing in front of him, them. And so they were like, we can't do anything. And her heart was so broken that here's her husband, here's her mother and her father, and all of them can't give her any words. But Subhanallah, she said, what? I'm going to just say the words of Yaqub, right? Fasabrun jamil. I'm going to be patient. And she relied on Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, and look at what Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala did for her. This is Iman. And this is the power of true faith, that this is someone from our history, a woman who's showing us what true faith can do. In that moment, after one whole month of no revelation, Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala descended a revelation right then and there, completely vindicating her, exonerating her from all the allegations. Subhanallah, this is the power of what we can do when we put our faith with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. I mean, her story again is so remarkable. Asya, she was married to a tyrant. So if you're in a home, and may God protect all of you from this, and relieve every single person who's struggling with a marriage in a home, where they're living with a tyrant, because I know it's real. I know this happens in our community. But Subhanallah, look at the strength of Asya. Even though she lived with someone who was, who'd killed, you know, massacred thousands, Subhanallah, she still did what she had to do. She defied him when she wanted to, and she knew that she was on the right because she was right with her Lord. So, you know, and I, speaking from personal experience, you know, I had similar situation. I was married previously to someone who forbade me from learning the Book of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. I actually had an opportunity to learn from the Book of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala with a very famous notable sheikh, but he told me I cannot go to those classes. And this is what knowing these women's stories will do for you when you're empowered. Guess what I did? I went to those classes because nobody stands in the way of your relationship partner. So many amazing examples, Subhanallah. We have, you know, Khadija Mashallah, she was mentioned, but Subhanallah, you know what I love about Khadija is her confidence. Married twice before, 40 years old, she saw a goal. She was like, I'm going to get it. Oh my God, how many of us question ourselves? I see with single sisters all the time who are empowered, beautiful, educated in every single way, but they have so much self-doubt because they're not married. Well, guess what? You're more than what, you know, being married to someone, but don't let, you know, the societal message of, oh, you have to be young, you have to be this, you have to be that, you have to have this, get you, have to walk out of Allah, have conviction. And if you see something, go for it, but do it obviously with, in the right way, do it, but don't be afraid is what I'm saying. Learn from the example of Khadija who didn't fear. And then look what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, she knew what she wanted. She went after it and he gave her treasures beyond treasures beyond treasures in this life and the next life because she had that yakeen in herself, that confidence in herself. She wasn't falling prey to the negative messages and all this person doesn't think on this. And, you know, no, she was her own woman, mashallah, learn from these women, right? And then, I mean, subhanAllah, there are so many examples, but the point I hope is clear, whatever path you're on in life, if you're a stay-at-home mom, if you're a working mom, if you're a single mom, if you're not even a mom yet, if you're a single person, if you're, whatever your situation may be, remember that you are a creation of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And while the message out there is to just focus on this form, you are way more than that. You are multifaceted. Look at all of the talents that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given you, but just remember this life is temporary, okay? We're here as travelers, it's not going to last. What is lasting is the akhirah. So invest in that. Invest in that with your prayers, invest in that with good suhba, invest in that with good knowledge, good use of your time. You know, don't waste your time. Time is so valuable. There are people, subhanAllah, that wish they could do so much because, but they can't. You know, they can't do it because they don't have the health. Some people are terminally ill. They've already gotten their sentence, right? Or they don't have the wealth. They don't have the means. We are living in abundance here. We're living with privilege. So don't waste your time. And certainly don't give up your honor, the honor that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave you and he raised you with and he gave you because of what influencers tell you for the love of God, please don't do that. You are above that. You are beautiful Muslim women. You have iman on your tongue. There's barakah in your body, every cell of your body because it knows Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Honor that, insha'Allah. Jazakumullahu khayr, insha'Allah.