 to taking your health back on Think Tech Bahi. I'm your host, Wendy Lo. Today on my show we have a dear, dear friend and her name is Susan. Thus the title of our talk today is Susan Scott starting the conversation. What are the wounds in society and how can we heal them? Susan wants to share this thought with you. Healing starts with starting the conversation and changing the vocabulary. So just listen to those wise words because it'll make a world of difference the next time you want to talk to somebody. So let's get started. Susan, I've known you for many, many years, but I know our audience, they want to get to know you too. So can you just share a little bit about yourself with us? Absolutely, Wendy. Thank you so much for having me and yes, many years. That would be 29 years since we've had the product. Yeah, it's amazing. I'm here today. I do this great talk and it's called Start the Conversation and for me this work started back in my 30s when I had experienced some life-changing events and it was then that I started to really pay attention to those around me and becoming a little bit more aware of their needs and also their behaviors. As a society, it's human nature. When we see people acting out or we're walking down the streets and someone's talking to themselves, it's very natural for us to attach that label crazy or to keep a distance because we just don't understand what's going on and it looks weird, it sounds weird and we attach all these negative again labels and then the conversations we have about it, it just perpetuates this energy that could be very hurtful to our society. So it was then at that point where I started sitting down and I just started asking questions and listening to people and really developing a space where I could listen with an open heart and at that point I just decided from here on out I'm going to work on my labels. I'm going to work on how I have conversations when I talk about others and just being a little bit more responsible about that energy. Wow and you know you hit it right on the nail. I mean speaking to someone taking time to just saying hi and how are you and really wanting to know and not just another phrase you pass out loosely like hi how are you and then you're walking away. Hey how are you and when they start engaging they want to talk story too and that's what we're really desiring the most especially. We really saw that going through COVID and the need for people to just have human relationships again and what is the best way to have a relationship communicating and starting a conversation. So you've hit it right on the nail Susan. So please share a little bit about your need to start the conversation. Absolutely. There was a time where that I was just surrounded by a bunch of individuals that I could just feel that there was a lot of hurt. I could feel that there was a lot of masking, some pain and often at times when I would hear conversations and I would just hear a lot of vulgarity. I would see these behaviors and so I just wanted to just spend some time with them to see where it was coming from and at this point I started meeting some really and again I have to be careful with these labels because society would call them nuisance to society offenders but I found them to be some of the most beautiful and incredible individuals I've ever met in my life and I like to tell the story about this young woman that her name is Christina. Beautiful beautiful girl and when she was 11 years old her parents had passed away. They had both died in a car accident and her uncle became her guardian and at the age of 11 she went to go live with them and instead of being a parent or taking care of her he exploited her. He put her in the sex videos and in order to get her to comply he would give her crystal methamphetamine and by the time she was 12 years old her whole life has now changed. She's an addict and she just lost her whole childhood. By the time she was 17 she had four daughters and she didn't know she had not developed life skills. She had really not had much of an education but she knew enough to take these girls and take them out of this home and somehow protect them so the only place that she knew to go was up an accountment and she set up a tech and the only way that she knew how to provide for these four girls was through prostitution and the only way that she knew how to get through that was by taking drugs and all of a sudden people started paying attention to her and these four girls and they started attaching all these labels that she was a hoe, that she was an addict, that she was homeless, that she was a bad mom. So you know instead of anybody at any point ever like sitting down with Christina learning what her story was it was all this negative conversation and energy going on around her. Eventually CPS was called and these four girls were taken from her and it just had this bigger hole in her life and she didn't know how to fill it except with all these unhealthy behaviors and she delved into even more of her addiction and the only way she had to keep that up was now getting into criminal behaviors where she was breaking into cars and breaking into homes and eventually she ended up in prison. After she did her time she was now released but nobody wanted to hire her because now on top of it being an addict, being homeless, being a bad mom, she's now a criminal, a thief, an offender and she's just really really struggling so she was in the system for quite a while going in and out of the prison system but there was never a time where anybody ever sat down with her and just let her know like I'm here from you and basically just validated her loss, right. So eventually she got into a shelter in a woman's program where she started addressing her trauma and her abuse. She went through drug rehabilitation, learned some employment skills, actually went through the KCC culinary arts program and is now doing her best to reintegrate and hopefully do so with integrity. So it was then after hearing her story that I needed to start having this conversation hopefully at this point we can sit down and we can have this conversation where it's with compassion and with an open heart. And again that word, that term open heart, that's all they need, that's all they want and that's pretty much what will be the beginning of a start is someone listening to their story and their heart and not labeling them or condemning them but really having a compassionate heart to who they are and they are human beings just like we are. They have a different story, we all have different stories but the fact that you took the time Susan to sit down and hear her heart and then she felt your heart and that's where healing comes from and I know that's exactly what joy gives you because you know the impact that you're making with these ladies. So I commend you Susan for taking the time to make the relationship and the conversations with these women and men as well. I know that you also speak to a lot of veterans and I know that that's very difficult as well, another difficult journey that you're on but you're the right person and you have that compassionate heart and the desire. So where did you meet? You have a bunch of photos with veterans. Where did you meet these veterans that are presently unsheltered? So I have a really dear friend, her name is Nani Medeiros and she is the Executive Director, right? She's my beautiful soul ever meet, not just on the outside but her heart is just gorgeous. She's the Executive Director of this great organization called Homemade Hawaii and this non-profit is comprised of basically all these developers here on the island, whether it be Castle and Cook, Stanford, Carr, Howard Hughes, they all come together and started addressing our needs in our community and addressing homelessness, those that are living on the streets. They're building these homes but yet a lot of the individuals here in Hawaii unfortunately cannot afford it. So they took it upon themselves to provide funding and contractors and even supplies to either build shelters or assist the existing shelters that are in place and refurbish them, renovate them, put on new roofs. They also worked like with Koala Dukua out at Sunset and they put on the roofing for the safe haven that is now open for young children that have been sexually trafficked, sex trafficked. And they have this great construction site out at Kalimua that they're building 36 tiny homes that will lend homelessness for their veterans that are experiencing homelessness. It's not a temporary shelter, it's not where they could own their six months or two years. If they choose to live there for the rest of their lives, they can and it's such a cute little community out there. It's really, really special. I'll go a little bit more because I think I have some pictures of them. Wow, that's I mean I just got to again thank you. I got to thank Nani, give her a shout out for doing this Hawaii homemade homemade Hawaii and her heart and fact that you're her buddy to just encourage her along as I know she must have had some you know roadblocks and stumbles but that she has a buddy partnering with her and her heart to make this happen for the veterans out there. So congratulations to all the partners that have made this possible and I know it's a whole tribe that makes that happen for these young men and women. So Susan in our next slide I need to ask you where was this taken and who are you with? Awesome, so I pre-COVID I was able to go to preschools and talk about recognizing the needs in our conversation in our community and again it was starting the conversation because it's this generation that's going to be going forward and addressing those societal wounds that we're experiencing right now whether it be domestic violence, whether it be homelessness, whether it be you know kids that are presently being trafficked here in Hawaii. So I walked in and my first question with them was you know what are the needs in our society? What have you recognized and it was basically again just getting them talking and thinking and one of the things that I asked is as we start this conversation let's shift our vocabulary a little bit. So it's very easy to use the word homeless however it has a negative connotation when you use that word. It takes away from the fact that these individuals are either veterans or former teachers or mothers, fathers, sons, daughters. So I started asking them hey let's use a different word because these members are still part of our community therefore there still are neighbors and if you were to look up just the definition of the word neighbors it means someone who lives next to us or close to us which is them they live close to us. So that's just a shift in vocabulary that has a little bit more of a compassion approach. I also asked them when I challenged them that when they go out and when they hear the people use that word homeless say hey you know let's change the vocabulary here. I also have taken upon myself that every time I'm in a Reno and close to a politician that I also asked them to start shifting their vocabulary too. It wasn't too long ago where I was with Lieutenant Governor Josh Green and I had just read this article and the media kept using the word sweeps. So when we're at home what do we sweep with the trash? So now we're using this word sweep when we're out on the street so when they're doing these community cleanup projects that they're sweeping these individuals who are unsheltered. So why are we using that word? It's hurtful to our society right? It inflicts even more wounds and it it even puts on more labels to people who really that's not what's needed. So I addressed this with the kids and they were really really great. I encourage them to participate in different community projects whether it be starting a canned good drive at their school whether it be participating at beach cleanup down at their beach there at Kailua Beach because I was at Kailua Colohale High School in this picture and I also asked them like you know when you are starting your career in college and starting your careers and going out professionally use your voice when you recognize these needs use your voice and also start developing some mental and emotional intelligence and that's going to be through lived experiences. So go out and experience what these people I didn't encourage them to go and like start experiencing what homelessness is like but just to go out start having conversations with them and sharing the meal and you know again starting the conversation. Wow so Susan you're absolutely right you know I mean just changing the verbiage that we're using and that we're so used to using and then like what you're doing you're starting with the young people the students the younger generation so that they start off you know with the right terminology and we don't mislabel our friends our neighbors in the street and so again I commend you for that continue to do that you sharing that with the politicians and the people of influence in our community powerful because they are on tv and they make an impact on so many people so of course you're you hit it right in the head man just keep going with that message and I think a lot of different outcomes will occur because of just changing the verbiage so I'm so excited. Yeah me and by the way just to let you know Lieutenant Governor Josh Green was so receptive but he's been really on the forefront and addressing that. He has I've seen him on tv I'm trying to resolve the problems you know some of the situations on the street and again commending him for his efforts as well so on our next slides is if there's a gentleman and you guys look so happy what you guys so happy about. So I know there's a few pictures which what does this gentleman look like does he have one of the white beard and you guys are hugging and he looks happy. Yeah well his name is Michael and he's so special so Home in Hawaii had a construct or they still do they're still building that the Kalei Loa um that the Kalei out at Kalei Loa of the 36 tiny homes and prior to the construction I would go out and I would meet with those that were living in the tents in the encampment out there and Michael was is 72 years old he's a Vietnam vet and I'm born in Vietnam I was born in Vietnam in Saigon and so we just sat started talking story about Vietnam and and how long he was there and and a sense of loss with his buddies that he basically grew up in Vietnam in his 20s right and then when he came back life was actually very different he wasn't well received back into the states because he was a soldier of Vietnam and number two because he was African African-American so he struggled quite a bit but in the picture we're smiling because one of the things he just asked for he goes can I just have a hug and I said sure I would love to hug you and he just gave me one of the biggest and one of the best hugs I had I've ever had it was just he gave me such a gift that day and he just walked me around he said he wanted to be my escort and chaperone around the encampment and just introduced me to everybody it was just a really nice day without and you know Susan you know we go to these locations these communities and we're going there and we are thinking we're going to make an impact and make a difference in their lives but the the gifting part of it all is when you go there and you receive something like that that you've not experienced in a long time I tell you that's the continues I'm sure and it continues to propel you to want to do more just having that hug and making a positive impact in someone's life that day I mean that's so powerful so again thank you yeah it was so much fun right I know you advocate for women in need I know that that when I saw you you know the first time in a long time that was your passion you were driving that course and men and women but I know the women in need is close to your heart so please share with us their mission and why you are so passionate about that so women in need have three shelters here on the island of Oahu and also a shelter on the island of Hawaii and they take women in that are that are removing themselves and their children from a domestic violence environment which takes a lot of courage women in shelter also work with women that are coming out of the penal system and that are taking their time to reintegrate and to do so again with integrity which is really really imperative women in need number one provides safe shelter number two provides a place to where there's healing there's an opportunity to be vulnerable in a safe place and what I mean by be vulnerable they have to get to the point where they can share their stories and our stories are gifts by the way Wendy when we share these stories we are the ones that get to choose who we share that story with and that person should be able to hold the space for our shame stories our hurts our pain and still just love women in need it's really special they also help women get back on their feet reunite with children that have been separated through CPS and also provide employment um rehabilitation to where they get skills and they they help them with their resumes and get them back working and employed um they're really really amazing and this is a critical part of their journey where all the hearts come together and just love on them and listen to them and really help them to just get back you know to what they where they want to be I should say um very critical and so all these components that you're putting together and not just loving them and hugging on them but also just spending the time to listen to them and and feel their hurt because they've felt it for so long alone but you're there now with them as well as all these support groups so again I'm very aware of many of them um I'm so excited that you're working directly with them as well and it just feels that big puka in our hearts because we want to make a difference a positive difference so Susan we talk about this open heart and I I love the term open heart that's my favorite term of all so why is it so important to listen with an open heart it's so easy when we're having a conversation we're only not completely present right because we've got so much going on so we're thinking about many other things and we're not just really just absorbing what is being shared with us and again these stories are gifts so to listen with an open heart and just be there with no judgment no opinion but just to be there with love and again it requires you to open your heart to do that so what's next for you Susan I know you you've done many things you you we didn't even talk about what you do professionally um but if you want to dive into that we have some time for that just share with us what are your your goals and your dreams that you want to make happen so I have a couple things I'm writing a book right now and the whole premise is to talk about what happens when abuse goes untreated so that's on my plate but I'm working on a really really neat project that I would love to even come back and maybe share with your your viewers a little bit more but it's for whole ala nopua whole ala nopua is a safe haven that is providing housing and trauma care for young girls that have been trafficked and in sexually trafficked and it's prevalent here more in hawaii than it is anywhere in the united states and we are preparing to have a celebrity auction that will go live in january and we want viewers to come your viewers or any supporters to come and bid on celebrity experiences for instance like golfing with marcus mariota um having chef chai come to your house and teach you how to make a really nice gourmet meal and all the funding that will be raised will go towards the trauma care for these young girls wow so um any celebrities out there listening we need you whether it's for a luncheon or dinner or just whatever you can't was this because the the need is great and we always think that this situation is not in our state but we're definitely wrong about that and I think more knowledge and information has been coming out that it's right here in our backyards in our front yards and so we better be made more aware of it once the awareness is there then of course the need to support and help these women and men through this time of their lives I mean it's so critical so if anyone can reach out and help we are going to have some information where Susan has her um direct contacts that you can get in touch with her and um just reach out as she's taking all her time and her energies and I think even your professional life uh Susan you can talk a little bit about that what do you do I mean like if you don't mind I know you're writing the book but there is also another way that you reach out to people you want to share a little bit about that sure I have a company called the social touch which is a social media marketing agency I specialize in branding and rebranding on social media however when people really ask me what is it that you really do well I uh I collect stories again I sit and listen with an open heart and I collect stories of your service and your products and I highlight them on social media I think that's so powerful you know um as I was building another business after I retired I would sit at Kahala mall and you'd be surprised I would sit at the mall and just mind my business and look like I'm busy and for some reason um especially the seniors they would come and sit down with me and they would just talk and they would tell me everything about their kids about their ailments medical issues all these things and I'm like an hour has gone by and I'm still talking story and I'm like so involved with their conversation and you know I would say to them before they had a go or before I had to go so what does your son or your daughter say about all these things and they said I can't tell them I said why not and they said she says oh because they're too busy to hear me so it's so so important Susan what you're doing you know when they especially when you see a young person like yourself going out and reaching out people really want to feel this and experiences and it's not just the elder community but it's everyone the young generation right now especially they need to just fill that void especially with the last year that everyone's experienced so I mean I'm so grateful to you Susan for reaching out is there another story that you would like to share with us that has made an impact in your life up to this point there's so many so yeah so just by the way let me update you guys on the story on Christina that I had shared earlier so this woman has earned her degree in culinary arts and she has now opened a food truck and it is out in Waianae so I just wanted to give her a little props I don't know the name of the food truck but where is she parked I don't know I just know it's one night it's just been in the last week that this has okay that's important because you know I'm always out on the west side and I want to go and support anytime I can support a great part like this and a great story I'm gonna go there and then I'm gonna say I want to order a hug I love it I'm gonna ask how many oh can I have two hugs please super strong and never stop so come on and give me a hug and then I'll order my lunch later but I love that so what we'll do guys if you do want to support this young woman as well get in touch we have Susan's information you have mine and then Susan you have some homework now that you leave the cat out of the bag you're gonna get us the location of the name of her truck and we'll go give her a hug and give her something and enjoy her honor food because those are the stories that we really want to support and I just yeah thank you so much and also before we sign off which is coming up soon I do want to mention that how long has I have I known you Susan 29 years at least 29 years right yeah a long time so I met Susan when she was a contestant in our Miss Hawaii international and that was in the year 1992 we crowned her in 1992 and you know what if she puts the crown on right now you think she still is a rainy queen because she's kept her youth her vitality her beauty and her heart which is even more beautiful and I think that's the secret to what you're doing your heart is beautiful and your heart is open so you're wearing your heart and your species and so never stop being in that pageant just allowed you to open the doors that you never thought were going to be open or was open and now you're in the door and you're going to make such a difference to more and more people that you come across so never stop doing what you're doing all right thank you and me you're just out you're just you're more beautiful you're amazing I love you I love you and I'm so glad you're still our friends after all these many years so I'm grateful thank you right now we've come to an end of the show I'm gonna have to leave us for now but as I said and as you mentioned you'd like to come back and when you have more information about the whole of the poor then of course we want to know about that and anybody that wants to donate or volunteer please it's not coming up until is it August is that correct so the the option will go live in January January oh so we have some time we have some time but I still need to get those donations in right and I know that you spoke to our dear friend chef chai and uh he's kind of thinking about it or he's going to do it he said he'll do it yes and you know another big free thing about chef chai's he's willing to employ these individuals that have gone through these programs yes and any employers who right now they're looking for for employees you do get a $2,000 tax deduction yes for employing individuals right but I'd explain that goes through these programs and chai he's right on the on on the mark with that he's always had that hard whether the 2000s yes he and that's the kind of heart that we're looking for right now so a shout out to all of you out there open heart you know open heart so you've been watching Taking Your Health Bath on Think Takawaii Mahalo to Susan from Social Touch thanks for talking story with us and Mahalo to all our viewers for watching I'm Wendy Lowe and we'll be back in two weeks with another edition of Taking Your Health Bath. Aloha everyone!