 performance USA the greatest entertainers in America as requested by you the fighting men of the United States Armed Forces throughout the world Command performance presented this week and every week till it's over over there Paul for Johnny Doughboy paging the US Marine Corps sailors coast guardsmen and the men of the Merchant Marine Greetings to all you guys in the AEF and who are fighting brothers in the Allied nations It's command performance time in the USA and right now time's a-wastin So let's get rolling and answer a thousand or so of your letters by saying your master of ceremonies tonight Clark Gable Thank You Don Wilson Hello fellas You know in Hollywood you used to hear a lot about percentages 50% for this and 50% for that Hollywood a day is just 100% for you guys over there. I Don't know how many of you have ever attended one of those Hollywood premieres But tonight you've got a ringside seated as big a premiere as I've ever seen The stars are not only out tonight. They're all out to answer those swell letters you send in the command performance First for sergeant FAH at APO 8 5 7 Sergeant WM and the tank destroyers from Wisconsin and for AM with the Canadian Army overseas a little number called He loved me till the all-clear came and one of your favorite movie gals cast daily take a cast It was getting dark when I heard the sirens moan Don't hurt to find there was so neither one of us could see We sensed each other clothes. She shows suddenly there came. Thank You cast daily Thanks to Nathaniel Finston and the MGM Orchestra appearing to the courtesy of local 47 And now here's a letter from sergeant CFC their command performance down here in Aruba. I'm a very popular guy I got hold of some second-hand radio equipment and it built me a short wave set and when command performance is on I really got lots of company in my barracks But another very popular guy with my buddies is a fellow in Hollywood with a mustache bigger than the jungle brush down here So how it's about giving us Jerry Kelowna. Well, okay, sir We have the professor right here with us and you're going to hear from him very shortly But uh dawn What is this? It says here that our nation's most eminent health authority is now professor Jerry Kelowna Can that be well? Why not Clark? Professor Kelowna is a fine specimen of a man always in perfect health Always in great physical condition. I'll prove it to you. Hey professor Iron in my blood don't look any too healthy today professor Well, I'm a little upset don't you see I received some bad news today Yeah, my mother and father's only son just went screwy your mother and father's only son like Kelowna. That's you Yeah, the news is worse than I thought Ah professor, you've gone hard wild sir. You're speaking of the woman I love We're getting back to health professor. Do you take much exercise lately? I certainly I just brought myself a wonderful horse. We go riding every morning, but I'll have to give it up It's a little too strenuous for me. What's so strenuous about riding on a horse. Oh, I'm supposed to ride on him Well, what other forms of exercise do you indulge in these days weed lip? A bicycling I love bicycling ever ever since my father gave me a present of a bicycle built for two 20 years ago 20 years ago your father gave you a bicycle built for two who sits on the other seat Man from the finance company Well, you know professor for a health expert you look pretty pale Have you been staying inside the last three or four weeks? Yes burlesque show For three weeks why Kelowna, what could there possibly be in a burlesque show that would keep a man there for three whole weeks? Fresh popcorn I'm highly indignant glad to meet you highly indignant. I know your brother highly salacity Kelowna now you're nothing but a half-wit. Why you're only two steps from an idiot. Well, I'll back away from you a little Professor, I can't stomach you. Why not? There's room there for both of us Oh, he's talking to you Kelowna. You're absolutely senseless. Oh now dawn you wouldn't say that If you knew that I was left on a doorstep here in hollywood Oh no, Kelowna. Why didn't I know why? When was that last night got slapped too? Kelowna, you're positively preposterous positively preposterous Thanks, and you must let me give you a shower bath sometime Kelowna, this is all too ridiculous. If you really are a health expert now, how about giving me some health exercise? Okay, take a deep breath Now take another deep breath Now another deep breath Don't I smell pretty? Now really professor, you must have some legitimate breathing exercises I have a very simple one. All you do is pick up a trombone and start playing it But who knows how to play a trombone? Oh, nothing to it. You just pick up a trombone like this Then the four-barred introduction by our eminent pianist Arthur Shet Razor-Telix Surprised Me too Mustache drags In case the Japs are listening APO 957 is somewhere on the pacific side and we got vital information from there on april 28th Soldier H.L. Devolves the fact that hundreds of his pals want Carmen Miranda to sing I want my mama At fort Randolph, they say please have Carmen sing for a bunch of happy happy jerks deep in the jungles of Panama From north island to new caledonia the call goes out for Miranda Well orders are orders on command performance. So fellows here it is I want my mama and lovely Carmen Miranda Thank you Carmen Miranda And now in response to those hundreds of letters from all over the world command performance moves into the jam department By popular acclaim of the aef one of america's number one bands playing the tune thousands of us for It's count basie and the one o'clock jump. Thank you count basie and the band Brothers that was really solid Now fellas command performance reaches into one certain mail bag that's been gaining weight these past few weeks It's filled with your letters requesting hollywood's charming and dynamic first lady of the screen There's our very special privilege to bring her to you now miss betty davis Tonight with tongue-in-cheek miss betty davis into interprets the conversation and thoughts of a girl while dancing It's a satirical monologue written by dorthy parker entitled the walls the scene A fashionable ballroom a young lady is seated alone at a table as a determined young man approaches and asks her to dance I adore too Why did I say yes? I don't want to dance with him. I don't want to dance with anybody Even if I did it wouldn't be him. Oh, no, I'm not tired. I just adore too Really, I would I just adore too. I've seen the way he dances. He looks like something you do on the assembly line. It's lucky And now now here. I am trapped trapped like a trap in a trap Yes, the orchestra is lovely, isn't it? They play such lovely tunes And the party's lovely too. Don't you think so? Yes, I think so too Why I don't even know his name jukes will be my guests and we're looking his eyes How do you do mr. Jukes and how is that dear little brother of yours with the two heads? Well, we might as well get it over with all right cannonball. Let's run out on the field You won the torch you can lead Why I think it's more of a walk. I just uh listen to the music a second. Shall we? Oh, yes, it is a walk Mine to waltz with you I'd love to waltz with you. I'd love to have my tonsils out I'd love to wrestle with a crocodile. Well, it's too late now. We're getting underway Oh, oh dear dear dear This is worse than I thought it would be I'm glad I brought it to his attention if this is a waltz. They're playing Heaven knows what might have happened if he thought it was something fast We'd have blown the sides right out of the building Why does he always want to be somewhere he is? God's sake don't kick me idiot. This is only second down. Oh my My poor poor shin that I've had ever since I was a little girl Oh, no, no, no goodness. No, it didn't hurt the least little bit And anyway, it was my fault really it was truly Oh, you're just being sweet to say that Why I'm getting positively drawn to triple threat here. He's my hero. He is the heart of a lion Look at the spirit. He gets into a dreary commonplace walk How a feat the other dancers seem beside him. He's youth and vigor and courage He's strength and gaiety and off my instep you hulking ape Oh, what do you think I am anyway gangplank? Oh No, no, of course it didn't hurt I didn't hurt a bit honestly It was all my fault You see that little step of yours. Well, it's a perfectly lovely, but it's just a tiny bit tricky to follow it first Oh, you worked it up yourself Did you really well aren't you amazing? Well, now I think I've got it Oh, I think it's lovely. I was watching you do it when you were dancing before awfully effective when you look at it awfully effective when you look at it I bet it's awfully effective when you look at me My hair is hanging my skirt is swaddled about me and feel a cold damp on my brow I must look like something out of the bride of frankenstein All this sort of thing takes a fearful toll of a woman my age With just a tiny bit tricky at first and now I think I've got it Too stumble slip in a 20-yard dash Yes, I've got it. All right. I've got several other things too including a split shin Oh Thank heavens they stopped playing Oh Oh They're going to play another encore. Oh goody Oh, that's lovely Oh, I should say I'm not tired. I'd like to go on like this forever I should say I'm not tired. I'm dead. That's all I am The only way I can tell when he steps on me now is that I can hear the splintering of bones And all the events of my life are passing before my eyes It was the time I was in the hurricane in the west Indy The time I got my head cut open in the taxi smash The night the drunken lady threw the bronze ashtray at her own true love and got me instead Ah what an easy peaceful time was mine until I fell in with swifty here I think my mind is beginning to wonder It almost seems to me as if the orchestra was stopping It couldn't be of course It could never never be And yet in my ears there is a silence like the sound of angel voices Oh, they've stopped the mean things They're not going to play anymore. Oh, darn Oh, do you think they would? Do you really think so if you gave them 20 dollars? Oh, that would be lovely And look do tell them to play the same thing I'd adore to go on walking Hold your hats boys. Here we go again Thank you, Betty Davis Next time tell that guy what the boy in the mind planter said. I guess we better set this one out Well men in 25 editions of command performance They've been quite a few callbacks and a certain little gal from Dixie should know plenty about that Because no blue singer in america tops her in callbacks to your big show fellows Here's dina shore Hello to you yanks at apo 887 and to rmh in iceland Howdy to Howard field into the radio gang at apo 801 And uh corporal mfl who said I wouldn't answer your april the 10th letter. Hello fireman hurry. All right I'm singing for glad is to and you guys at georgetown. Thanks for the june 18th letter And jhh my best to you and your sweetheart back in redding, pennsylvania Hello to apo 937 and stay away from those big bags. Hello augustine and all the mob and gene honey Thanks for the note written on the uss sandpiper and i'll write you real soon Love to all of you everywhere, and I'd like to make a little down payment on my debt of gratitude for those wonderful letters Here's the only way I can pay you The way The memory of all that way your smile just being the way we dance till three This clock gave us speaking from the usa This is the land that not long ago i had boundaries an ocean on one side and an ocean on the other Douglas furs and deep snow and good fishing to the north blue waters and lilacs and hot weather and cotton fields to the south Yes america had boundaries then You lived and worked within those boundaries and thought it all would always be that way You worked at the shoe store in peoria yet tonight you're over there in australia You fly hell out of your bomber and go through god made storms of rain and man made storms of steel and fire And you fight your way back Then you write into this radio program and say would you please ask dana shore to sing? You can't take that away from me Here's to be the clerk in the local safeway or a rexel store The history treat teacher in grand wrappers the mechanic at the corner garage Yet tonight you're blacked out on a freighter Or lurking beneath the cold water far below the fog that hangs over the allusions And you write to this radio program and say Recently we receive packages from our mothers and to show our appreciation with bring crossby sing Dear mom You were the guy who had never been 30 miles away from carcin city, nevada Yet tonight you're hoping it'll cool off in india and the gold coast of africa He used to walk into town to the saturday night dance yet tonight you're in labrador and egypt england frenadette and china But that's the way it is these days The boundaries of america have been moved out across the earth Wherever you americans have gone to fight for every man's right to live within the boundaries of his own self respect and freedom But because of guys like you when we think of the boundaries of america, we still think of douglas furs Because you guys are like those douglas furs and you're like the good fishing in the lakes Coney island and the cornfield and smokestacks and you like the little towns with the redwater towers Like mount rainier and yellowstone and highway 66 Because all those things are american They were part of you when you left They will still be part of you when you come back the stuff that makes americans And brother They don't make better stuff anywhere in the world Command performance usa the american entertainment industry salute to you fighting men of ukulele sam's armed forces And your friends throughout the world Send your request to command performance and care of this station This is don wilson wishing you the best of the best from the usa