 I was seething with rage and wanted to make sure she never recovered from this. I fell in love with the destruction I was causing. To this day, a good revenge story gives me a warm bubbly feeling inside. I believe it comes from this college experience years ago when I got revenge on my cheating girlfriend and it felt good. This is such a typical story of while fighting monsters, I became a monster. I was morphing from generally a good person, to a relatively dark evil one. Obviously people at dark moments but I feel like my personality and psyche has never been the same since this experience. Naturally, viewer discretion is advised. These revenge acts might be disturbing to snowflakes. I know I'm not supposed to enjoy it but I can't deny how satisfying it feels. It's probably one of my favorite feelings in the world even though I'm ashamed to admit it. So I decided to write my first post about this, because I don't tell the story often. It is so extensive and honestly just makes me look bad. I'm going to try my best to not paint a picture where my ex looks as bad as possible and me as innocent as possible. At the time of this story, I played Division 1 NCAA basketball at a school so I traveled a lot, weekly in different cities and states, and my entire life revolved around this. During the events of this story I was in the early stages of a horrible drug and alcohol habit. Years after this story I ended up getting sober and joined a program whose name you can find at the front of almost any phone book. I am sure many people reading this are also sober and will understand how we a dicks slash alcoholics can be. This story is an effort to explain a character defect that manifested from the events in this story that lead me down a very dark path, however, I don't mean this story to come off in a self-pity kind of way. Lastly, I was always a good kid, I was never troubled. My upbringing was very difficult, but I was able to keep an overall kindness and my spirit to other people and almost always did the right thing or took the high road. When it came to dating, I knew people cheated in relationships but at the time of this story I always chalked it up to other people not doing things the way I did. I never really thought it would happen to me. I always thought that because I was a five-star boyfriend and my amazing choice in women, infidelity would never be a part of my dating journey. I was a naive. I really thought highly of myself and also had a real arrogance like any guy in his early twenties I guess. I was in my junior year in university, I had been single for about a year after me and my high school girlfriend finally broke up after three years. I checked that relationship off as my learning experience and I now knew what to look for in my next girlfriend. The next woman I chose to have a relationship with I would most likely marry and start my future with. I had my eye on this girl at my school, we will call her Lisa. I saw Lisa around the collegiate athletic facility, the university teams training grounds, and locker rooms. Lisa ran for the track team and was damn good. The various athletic teams often had parties and I knew that the first one I saw her at, I would introduce myself and try to chat her up a bit and see where it led. Soon enough I see Lisa at one of these parties and we pass each other on the stairs. We make eye contact and she smiled at me. I sparked a conversation with her and after going back and forth a bit we exchange numbers. We begin the classic American style of flirting where we constantly just hint things back and forth indirectly. We slowly progress the relationship in this manner for weeks. Sending texts back and forth hinting that we were interested in each other but also playing it cool to not let the other person know we had a crush on them. At the time, she was on a break with her current boyfriend, who was a popular player on the football team. She ended up leaving him completely to date me. This should have been a red flag obviously but remember, I had severe hubris. At the time her leaving him to date me just gave me a superiority complex. I was playing good in sport and if she was willing to leave this guy for me, then she will never leave me for another guy. Wow, I was a freaking idiot. I can't express how much I was into Lisa. I was addictively attracted to her and had that weird feeling of I can't believe my crush is actually into me too. I really was so drowned and blinded by my crush on her, that I missed so many red flags, but our relationship began progressing really fast. Because of this, I didn't really do a proper inventory on why I liked her so much. Fast forward like 8 months later. We are together officially. Lisa has her own athlete's dorm room but I was a couple years older than her and was working during the summers, full-time and part-time during school and had my own apartment near campus and Lisa was basically living with me. She even would stay there when I was out of town which was like 3 or 4 days of every week, because we were in season and the team was flying all over the country. Me and Lisa were deeply in love regardless. At the end of the season I had planned two massive back-to-back parties. One was for my teammate's birthday at a Friday night and then my birthday on Saturday night. They just happened to be one day after the other and luckily landed on a Friday and Saturday night. Me and Lisa got drunk Friday night and had some unprotected sexy time. Lisa kept a period tracking calendar app on her phone. She was asleep and I drunkenly remembered she always marked down in her calendar when we had unprotected sex, so she knew if she should be worried if she missed her period. She missed her period often because she was an athlete. My inebriated brain thought she should put it in her calendar now, because we would forget the next day since we were so wasted. So I woke her up and said, can you put in that calendar that we had unprotected sex? At this point it was like 5 am and we were that 5 am kind of drunk where you're mostly just tired. She unlocked her phone and opened the app and before she could even do it, she fell back asleep. So I took the phone while it was still unlocked and proceeded to try and figure out how to put it in her calendar myself. Side note, through our entire relationship, Lisa went through my computer and phone constantly. She was very insecure and always had her suspicions. I didn't care that she was doing this all the time. She never found anything because I never did shady stuff, ever. Again, looking back at this it's an obvious red flag I missed. Remember I thought this girl would never cheat on me. So this wasn't one of those stories where I went through her phone looking for something and subsequently finding it. In this case I was innocently trying to navigate this damn period calendar while I was drunk and I was not suspicious at all. When I looked at the period calendar app on Lisa's phone, I saw all kinds of little markers on different days of each month. Each marker was a different color so I opened one to see what the color coding meant. I saw that red was obviously symboling her period and then there was also black markers that showed when she had unprotected sex. This is when my heart sank into my stomach. This freaking calendar was peppered with black markers. It looked like a checkerboard with only a hand full of red pieces left and all the freaking black ones. There was black markers on dates that I was in a different city playing basketball. I proceeded to open all of black markers going back for our entire relationship. We did not have unprotected sex very often. Maybe once or twice a month. She had written the names of the guys she had unprotected sex within the notes section of the black markers. There was a total of four guys throughout the entirety of our relationship that she allowed to penetrate her raw. Some months there was almost a dozens of those freaking black markers. Sometimes there were two in one day. Looking back on this, I wonder if there were more unlisted men that I didn't see because she clearly only kept track of the guys in times she had unprotected sex. In almost every story I hear of infidelity, it involves the discovery of text messages being informed by a friend or the classic coming home early and catching your partner red-handed. I, on the other hand, discovered a freaking well-documented ledger of almost every time she cheated and had unprotected sex. Amongst the four guys I discovered, one of them was her ex that she originally left to date me. Cheating on me with him was a common occurrence. There was some other unknown guy she was also clearly sleeping with regularly. The last two fellas looked to be just a one-time thing, but again like I said, these markers were just the time she had sex without a condom. So who knows what the true story was there. I sobered up real quick. I proceeded to look through leases texts and calls and found nothing. However, at the time Android phones had a folder where you can see deleted texts but not the contents of the messages. She had thousands of deleted texts and calls, but I couldn't see what they said. I did see the numbers and did a quick Facebook search and matched one with her ex in addition to something like half a dozen other random dudes. The worst part was I found two of my teammates. One guy I was actually pretty close with. I just put the phone down after a few minutes. The evidence was overwhelming. The more it seemed to look at the phone the more my insides began to hurt. I felt so defeated. I can't fully describe the feeling but I'm sure anyone reading this that caught a significant other cheating knows what I'm talking about. I felt so stupid for trusting her and having no suspicions of her. I couldn't stop thinking about how I regretted all the times that I had an opportunity to cheat and remain faithful to Lisa. I felt like an idiot for not cheating on her when I could have. My loyalty felt like a waste. I know it sounds ridiculous and irrelevant to the fact that she was unfaithful. I think I obsessed over that because if I had cheated as well, I wouldn't have hurt so much in that moment. All I could think about was about how much I was hurt. I would do anything to not feel the pain and embarrassment anymore. I proceeded to leave my apartment and go for a long walk. I had never felt the emotions that were coming up and didn't know how to process them. My ego felt like it was literally dismantled in front of me. I wasn't sure what to do and I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. My sadness quickly turned to anger. I knew I was gonna get my revenge I just didn't know how yet. I was seething with rage and wanted make sure she never recovered from this. My roommate slash teammate and best friend, who was sleeping on the couch in my living room, we will call him Bono, an Eastern European kid who stood 7 foot tall and was as Russian in demeanor as you can imagine. Bono called me shortly after I started my walk. I answered and he asked where I was. I asked him to keep this between us and told him what happened. He stays on the phone, goes into my room and I hear him in his Russian accent yell at her, yo bitch, you cheated on my boy? Then I faintly hear her notably say something in the background and him yelling at her to get out of the apartment. After hearing some scuffling Bono gets back on the line and says yo, she gone, come back and let's talk. I head back home and me and Bono go over what had happened. Things don't get sappy because we are both complete alpha males who both come from cultures where men don't cry and neither of us really knew what to say or do in this situation. He makes his best attempt to comfort me and says, tonight is your birthday, we gonna get fucked up and find you some sluts. Frick her. I never liked her anyway. Oh yeah, this day was my birthday. Forgot about that part. Me and Bono go out for breakfast. I am still a little drunk. My phone is blowing up with calls and texts from Lisa. I tell her I saw everything on her phone and I can't stand to speak with her or look at her. She keeps trying to convince me to let her come to my birthday party and I make it clear I don't want her there. She clearly was concerned about exactly what Bono suggested to me earlier when me and him chatted. Lisa's entire reputation and popularity revolved around the fact that she was dating me. I think most people didn't like her in the first place, but put up with her because we were together. She knew that if I acted single at my birthday party and she didn't show up everyone would know something was ask you. I think Lisa was more worried about being embarrassed than our relationship. I don't remember much of what happened that night. But one of my friends sent me a little package for my birthday from California, filled with some really good weed, hash, moon rocks, some pills and the devil's dandruff, and I proceeded to do a glorious swan dive into an intoxicated oblivion. All I remember is sitting on my chair at the pregame for my party. There was two girls sitting on the arms of the chair and I still have a photo of that moment and I remember it vividly. We were preparing to head out. I had a few tables downtown at a popular nightclub. The booze and drugs were the only thing that made me feel normal. I had my sunglasses on and clearly had that happy loaded grin on my face. The longer you look at the photo of me on that chair, you can tell I'm hiding a huge amount of hurt. Sitting on that chair, the cocktail of drugs start to take effect. This was the first time I ever used substances not to party but to feel better. To make me feel normal. I remember thinking, I want to feel this way for the rest of my life. I am never going to hurt like that ever again. With drugs, I have control and no one can hurt me again. Oh how ironic that turns out to be years down the line. I told my teammates and friends that me and Lisa were done when they asked why she wasn't at the party. I didn't tell them why though. I also didn't show them that I was affected by it in any way and just played it cool. I tried to focus everyone on the party ahead of us. So this is one of those revenge stories where it was only half planned. I knew I wanted to get revenge on Lisa for hurting me so much. But I kind of just improvised as opportunities came up. My original kind spirit had died at my birthday on that chair. All my morals went out the window. I never cheated in relationships, therefore I believed I would never get cheated on. I realize now how dumb that is, but that's what I thought at the time. I didn't care what collateral damage I caused, as long as my mission to hurt Lisa as much as possible was accomplished. So continued every day of my life with this new selfish mindset. I was sitting at my computer later that next week skimming Facebook, when I saw the profile of one of her track teammates on my feed. That's what I had my first vengeful idea. I decided I was going to attempt to get her teammates to bite the bait that I was about to cast out into the water. Though, I didn't have proof she hooked up with my teammates, she was clearly trying to hide conversations between them. So I was going to see how many people, who are close to her, that I could passionately hug, aka have sexy time with. Luckily I had more options than she had when cheating on me. A women's track team is much larger than a men's basketball team. Also much better looking. Lisa's teammate I originally spotted on my Facebook had a boyfriend but I thought, clearly everyone cheats, let's see if it's true. I proceed to do the little flirty social media dance with her. You know, the one where I like a couple of her photos, she likes a couple of mine back. I shoot her a message and bam. She's at my house in my bed about a week later. I proceed to do something similar to other teammates of hers. All on her four by four relay team coincidentally. Two of the three girls I sexy timed had boyfriends and subsequently cheated on them with me, which gave me some real mixed emotions. It stroked my broken ego and also made me bitter and sad. Giving me one of those, women ain't shit, none of them are loyal attitudes. This is such a typical story of while fighting monsters, I became a monster. This actually became my go-to strategy, because it accomplished two things in my fricked up mind. It exposed a cheater, but more importantly, if they were willing to cheat on their boyfriends they would. A, be more secretive about it, which meant the drama that would ensue when it came out, would be elevated. B, it made me feel better about Lisa cheating, because it proved it wasn't me that was the problem. It was women that were the problem. I know it's fricked up, but that's what I thought back then. I started to collect something from every girl that I hooked up with, like a bra, a pair of panties, or some jewelry, etc. Not for some creepy reason, but this is important later and was a part of my plan. Sometimes I didn't even have to try. One girl left a pair of very distinguishable shoes. I knew Lisa would know whose shoes they were. They belonged to the girl that Lisa's ex-boyfriend rebounded with after Lisa and him broke up, which highly upset her because it was her friend. Now it would upset her more, because that same girl slept with both of her ex-boyfriends. I especially tried to collect items if it was something that I knew Lisa could distinguish, like a sweater from the women's track team with her teammate's name on it. After some time I had collected a boatload of trophies. After a couple months or so, one of the Lisa's teammates' boyfriends found out about me, his girlfriend and it started a big beautiful dramatic explosion of series of events with her and her teammates. This led to all of them finding out about one another's promiscuity. The drama was massive. Even their coaches had to get involved it got so bad. This made me feel so powerful in such an evil yet satisfying way. I fell in love with the destruction I was causing. The most awesome part about all of it, was that same week, the athletics PR team had put massive posters of me all over campus promoting the next game. They were everywhere. Some of the posters took up the entire side of buildings. So Lisa and her friends had to see me all over campus, every day, while this drama was erupting all around them. I felt like a triumphant dictator. It was glorious and pathetic at the same time. Their coach even proceeded to have a serious meeting with the compliance department and my team's coaches. My coaches literally laughed at her saying, this seems like an internal issue, but OP hasn't done anything illegal or broken any school policy so there is nothing we can do. This infuriated the women's track coach. Their team had fallen apart. Their national ranking began to plummet. Then Lisa's coach even got in trouble for being caught tearing down some of the smaller posters of me on campus and raging temper tantrum. I loved all of it. I continued to add fuel to the fire. Posting photos of me with girls, smiling, being happy every chance I could on Facebook and Instagram. But under it all, I was bitter. I was so deep into my new mindset I had already forgotten the kind-hearted naive kid I used to be. I hated my old self because I let some girl emasculate me. I was so full of self-pity looking back at, it's depressing. No one really knew though, because I played the cool guy attitude in front of people. There was even a girl on campus on one of the sports teams, who claimed that she was pregnant with my kid after I pretended to like her the same way I did with all of the other girls on Lisa's team, and soon as we sexy-timed I moved on. It's a long story, but it turned out she wasn't pregnant, but the news or press that came from that further dug the knife deeper into Lisa's side. I left a trail of women I deceived and relationships I destroyed. I feel bad now, but at the time I didn't care because they were equally at fault in my eyes, since they were cheating on their boyfriends or sleeping with their friends ex. Quickly, girls became weary of me. Plus I was running out of potential targets and I was going after girls that weren't even friends or on the track team with Lisa, but were just around her in daily life. For example her classmates and as well as her own family. I even flirted with her sister who was married with a kid and I almost succeeded. She was down, but her and Lisa's dad found out about it and stepped in and put a stop at all before we could do anything. Her sister was ostracized as the news spread within the family. I wanted Lisa to know I was everywhere and constantly remind her how she fucked up. In my eyes this was all her fault and she unleashed this fury of chaos upon herself. She should never have fucked with me like that. Lisa had to take an extended medical leave because of her depression and mental health issues she was experiencing from the whole situation. She was becoming suicidal. She even had to go on medication and lost tons of weight. She began to look extremely unhealthy. The whole mess was torturing her and the more she hurt the better I felt. At this point I had already inflicted more damage than she did to me, but I had become addicted to the feeling of power. I spent zero time processing my own emotions or moving on from what happened. All I wanted was more revenge and I couldn't stop. After weeks of ignoring Lisa's texts and calls she finally gets a hold of me by showing up to my apartment unannounced late at night. She was there to pick up some stuff she left from when she lived there to take home. She was actually a local and her parents lived close by. She was still on her medical leave and no longer staying on campus, but rather with her parents. I told her I would bring her stuff to her parents house that weekend, but I couldn't let her in because I had company. Which I did but it wasn't one of her teammates or friends unfortunately. I then took all the items I had collected from all the girls over the weeks. There was probably like eight or nine things from different girls including her teammates and threw their belongings in along with Lisa's stuff into big black trash bags. I took the bags to her house and then called Lisa's dad. I told him I left her stuff on his porch and to inform his demon daughter. Me and Lisa's dad actually really got along and he even took my side after Lisa and I broke up. But after all these events transpired, he obviously had a negative opinion of me. 15 minutes after I get off the phone with her Lisa's dad, I get a call from Lisa. I answer because I want to hear her reaction to having all these other girls trophies mixed in with hers. She was sobbing uncontrollably. It sounded like that half crying half mumbling thing people do when they are hysterical. She wasn't even angry, just desperately begging me to point to stop my tyranny. I just smiled and baked in the glory of hearing her hurt. I responded, why were there other guys in our relationship? You mixed them into our relationship like I mixed other girls trophies into your shit? Like a perfect little ironic metaphor. I thought it sounded cool at the time and was real proud of myself. I later found out from one of Lisa's friends, who knew she was cheating on me during our relationship, that Lisa was convinced I was the one cheating on her because, I was always out of town. This doesn't make sense, since I was out of town because of basketball, a very legit excuse. Not just randomly on my own accord. You could literally see my schedule on the school's website. I kept in contact with her constantly when I was gone, but obviously when I had practice or team meetings, I couldn't be on my phone. But she didn't have the logic in her brain to figure this out I guess. I assume it's just an excuse she made to protect her insecurities about the whole fiasco or to keep face with people who knew she was cheating. Months go by, Lisa comes back to school from her medical leave and we bump into each other at the physical therapy center in our athlete facility building. I see this as yet another opportunity. It had been a while since I did something that hurt her and I was still hungry for more vengeance. I proceed to pretend like I want to rekindle things with her. She is cautious at first but eventually bites after about a week. We start to mend our relationship. We proceed for about a month but I wouldn't call this a relationship. I forbid her to have any male friends nor is she allowed to go out and party with her girlfriends. I also need full access to all her accounts and her location at all times. It was more like a hostage situation. It gave me a sense of control. Meanwhile I'm not being faithful at all. This was my plan all along. Finally, she finds out about me sleeping with a girl in one of her classes and we have a nasty breakup. I told her that she literally knows what it felt like to be me when we last dated. Yet again, I felt triumphant. It was just another chance to hurt her and I did. After this we don't speak for years. I graduate university and move to Central America. She messages me while I'm there about a year after I moved in about two years after we last spoke. At this point my life has become that of a real degenerate. I was doing copious amounts of drugs on a daily basis and about 75% of my life was involved in some sort of illegal or nefarious activities. But I still blame her for me becoming the dark soul that I was and taking no responsibility for bitter immoral nature. I hadn't had another relationship since her and always had trouble, because I couldn't trust a woman in any capacity anymore. Even after years had passed, I saw this instance of her messaging me as yet another opportunity to hurt her. We begin to talk as friends and even getting flirty with each other over Facebook Messenger. Mind you there is literally many countries, states and an ocean between us at this point. I was planning a trip back to my old university to visit some friends. However I told her different, I explained to her I was moving back to the city for a new job I was just offered. We decide to meet up when I get back and see if there is anything worth saving between us. I had put on my best acting hat and try to seem like I've put our past behind us. However I'm just as vengeful now as I was years ago. She's finishing up her last year at university and I make the trip back to the USA. I meet Lisa at a coffee shop when I arrive. We spend the entire night together. From her point of view it really looks like we had moved past our differences and what happened. We could actually work things out. However I'm not moving back like I told her. I'm only staying two nights. She doesn't know this. After hooking up a few times and spending two days together, without mentioning anything to her about me leaving, I pack my things and get back on a plane back to Central America. I blocked her on all my social media and communication outlets. This time I could only fantasize about what happened to her when I disappeared, after she thought I had moved back and supposedly was ready to give our relationship another try. This time however, it wasn't as satisfying as my previous plots of revenge. My drug habit and lifestyle only got worse every year. Three years later I was hospitalized and almost died because of my extended drug use. I was never sober a full 24 hours after that day that went through that freaking period calendar. As much pain as I might have caused her with my vengeful life, my new identity that consumed my old one was so tainted with a dark spirit at heart. I think I honestly did more harm to myself with my actions and led me to down the road where I had no morals anymore. Though I spent the entirety of this story telling everyone of how I kept getting revenge at my ex for cheating on me, as satisfying as it was, I wish I would have spent an equal amount of energy healing myself from the incident. If anyone reading this is experiencing the pain that comes with cheating, a good revenge story can bring you some satisfaction, but I hope you don't make the same mistake I did. Rather spend more time healing yourself from the hurt and moving past it. The revenge won't heal you. It will be a separate journey, but could distract you from putting yourself back together. Luckily I got sober and am sober now 4 plus years. I even had another girlfriend of 2 years cheat on me before I got sober, but this time I didn't take revenge. I spent my time healing. I changed and only focused on myself and that was way more satisfying than the revenge I got on Lisa for cheating on me. Now I'm married almost 2 years, to a woman who is sober and I have a good life. I have a dream job and a dream marriage. Thank you for sticking it out to the end, and for watching Royal AI. Be sure to subscribe to receive future episodes. 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