 The Chevrolet Program starring Jack Benny with Frank Black's Orchestra. The orchestra opens the program with Tony's wife. Have you heard the latest, my friends? The newest good news from Chevrolet. We'll talk about business being good. Just listen to this. Instead of sales going down, as car sales usually do at the end of the spring selling season, Chevrolet sales are still going up and up, way ahead of the same period in May, way ahead of the sales a year ago. Over 20,000 Chevrolet's were delivered at retail the first 10 days of June. It is the first time since 1927 that sales in June have exceeded those in May. Every minute, night and day, someone is buying a Chevrolet. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's the same old story, isn't it? You just can't keep the best car from leading, especially when that car has a fissure hardwood and steel body, overdraft ventilation, a starterator, synchromesh, free wheeling, the most economical engine in the low-priced car, and especially when it sells for as little as $445 F-O-B factory. And now, Jack Benny. Hello again. This is Jack Benny, the Earth Galliper, coming to you with all the late-lose events through the courtesy of, now get this, folks, through the courtesy of, I bought her a sandwich, associated press. Boy, you're my hot tonighter, associated press. Did you get that, Mary? Yes, and I'm going to get rid of it, too. I see. I don't know. I kind of liked it, an associated press. Get it, Melton? No, what is it? It's a joke. Oh, pardon me. Well, I'll start all over again, folks. Hello again. This is Jack Benny, the Earth Galliper, coming to you through the courtesy of the daily exterminator. All the news that's flipped to print. Here they are. Okay, let's go. Little late at the corner, but it's okay. Washington, D.C. President Roosevelt takes two-week vacation, which will end June 30th. Vice President Garner's vacation will end in 1936. Paris, France. Russian Prince wed five-and-ten-ten store errors. To keep the money in the family, he buys the ring in her store. New York, New York. Jack Sharkey will fight primal carnera at Madison Square Bowl. When interviewed, Sharkey claimed he will not be able to hit high enough to powl carnera. Pop the legs through Jersey. Carnera training here with King Kong. During brief work out, one of carnera's legs was found in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Cincinnati, Ohio. Man finds alcohol in 3.2 beer and is given key to the city. Highland, New Jersey. Nudist currently discovered here. During Coastale last week, Nudist was seen wrapped in cellophane. Prosperity news. Detroit, Michigan. Big industries raise employees' wages 10%. When do I get a raise, Jack? When we're in Detroit, Mary. Hollywood, California. Roller skating fad hits Hollywood. Greta Garbo given ticket for parking her skates in front of a hydrant. London, England. Nations meet here to pay United States war debts. Poland acknowledges her debt and silver and sends us four dimes and a quarter. Finland sends us a fin. Belgium gives us two brass rings from a merry-go-round. And France gives us chevalier. And Chevrolet gives you the biggest value for your money in the low-priced field. But Howard, I mean, nothing. The Chevrolet has the fish and no brass. I know that, Howard. I know that. And every 40 seconds of the day, someone buys a Chevrolet. Playboy, play. There's no use arguing with Howard. The Black orchestra. I wish Frank would make those orchestra boys shave, Ray. You know folks, I never saw so many beards in one orchestra. Oh, really? I mean, I don't know how they get their saxophones in their mouths. I'm not kidding, huh? Jack, Jack. Yes, Mary? Look at these. Aren't they beautiful? Well, Mary, what are you doing with all those flowers? Well, it's my birthday today, Jack. Oh, yes. I nearly forgot it. And thanks for the card. Did you like the card I took you, Mary? Yes, but my name isn't Easter. Well, I happen to have one left over, you know. Well, that's all right. What are you giving me for a present? Well, let's see, Mary. How old are you today? Twenty-one. Twenty-one. Well, I'll say, I've got a great idea. It's too late to buy you something, but I'll give you a dollar for each year. See, here it is. Now, five, ten, twenty, twenty-one. Well, that's awfully nice of you, Jack. Hey, gee, are you lucky? Why? Well, if I told you my right age, you'd owe me six dollars more. Mary, make the leave your sixty and give me back five dollars, will you? Well, folks, you can never tell a person's age. I don't know. A man is as old as he looks and a woman is as old as she likes. Well, congratulations, Mary. Thanks, Howard. Now, here are a couple of little remembrances. Gee, a ring and a book, thanks. What a pretty ring. But what's the book all about? Well, that's to keep up the payments on the ring. I gave him that joke, folks. You know, live and let live, you know. Mary, I want to congratulate you, too. I want to give you... Yes, Jimmy. My very best wishes. Ah. Well, anyway, Mary, you don't have to keep up the payments on that, you know. Say, I bet you got a lot of nice telegrams today. Yes, and birthday cards, too. Do you want me to read some to you? Go ahead. You will, anyway. Well, here's one I got from Howard. It says, Happy Birthday, I must say. May many more come by your way. Because every minute of the day... Someone buys a Chevrolet. That's a wonderful thought on Howard's part. I knew we'd get that in. Oh, here's another card, Jack. Another card. Read it, Mary. It says, Happy Birthday to the sweetest and fairest girl in all the world. Who sent that? I did. You did? Yes, no one knows me like I do. Mary, this is being your birthday, aren't you? Why don't you do something? Tell us something about your life. I mean, I think everybody here in the school would like to know something. Well, I was born and trained in New Jersey on a very dark way. At first I didn't know what it was all about. And before I knew what had happened, I was five years old. How time flies. Yes, now on my fifth birthday I said to myself, Cook? Kanefield? Kanefield isn't big enough for you, so I went to Elizabeth. Elizabeth, New Jersey? No, my aunt Elizabeth. Oh, I see. But there was nothing there for me, so I went to Trenton. Oh, your uncle Trenton? No, Trenton, New Jersey. Oh, well, I'm all mixed up. I don't know. At Trenton things are kind of dull, so I came back to Kanefield and stayed there until I was six. And was I six? In fact, the doctor told me I would never reach seven. How time flies. But seven o'clock came and then eight. And I ate, and ate, and ate until I was nine. Until you were nine, I see. And then, and then what happened? Then ten came along and we started our program. So here I am, and it's only 10.15. Oh, is that all, Mary? Yes, that's all. Applaud everybody. Very good. That was very good. That was very interesting, Mary. And now James Melton will sing Rose of Piccades. By the way, Jimmy, when did you first start to sing? Well, you know, I was born in Georgia. And when I was five years old, I said to myself, Cut, this state is too small for you. So I came to New York and took singing lessons. Well, that's interesting. Really, that is. Yes, I know. Tell me, Jack, when did you first become a master of ceremonies? Well, Jimmy, I was born in the United States. And when I was five years old, I said to myself, Cut, this world is too small for you. Why don't you get out of it? Well, Jimmy, give me time. Will you ever want to sing? Play to it. Or boys, play. Well, let's play. He is black with his sheep, With a long white rose, As the winds in the bar, As all the shy carotene, And the roses will die, With the summer of time. The roses of Piccades, Dedicated to the American Legion, Who will meet at their greatest of conventions in Chicago On October 2nd. Hooray! Noise is just a little banquet we're having here tonight. You know, this is our last program until the fall, And we're all celebrating. What a crowd! What gowns! What wraps! And what sats! Everybody's here. They're all in evening clothes. Ah, what celebrities! How do you do, Ms. Garbo? Sit right here next to Howard Clayney. I want to be alone. Don't worry, you will be. Now, look at it. Clark Gable. How are you, Clark? Fine, Jack. I want to congratulate you on going off the edge tonight. I'll pass that up. I think we're going to have a lot of music and entertainment tonight, Clark. Will you listen? I'm all ears. That was Clark Gable, folks. Clark Gable. Sit right here. Just throw that bundle down that you have in your arms. What bundle? That's Joe and Crawford. Oh, pardon me. I pardon me. I'm sorry. And who is this? Hey, wait a minute, mister. Wait a minute. You can't come in here without an invitation. This is a private affair. What's your name, sir? Marlene Dietrich. Oh, Marlene! Well, well, come right in. Will we have a good time here tonight? It all depends on you. Ah! Oh, I thought that was good. Oh, that was awfully good. Oh, what merriment, sir? Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Waiter, I'm Jack Benny. Oh, pardon me. And here they keep coming. Jack, Pearl, Eddie, Tanner, Chevalier, Ben, Bernie, Phil, Baker, Bert, Lar, Mary, set the table and serve the food as soon as possible, yes? Jack, we have no tablecloth. No tablecloth? No. What are we going to do? Oh, here comes Mahatma Gandhi. We're saved. Check your court, Mahatma. Yes. Mary, here's your tablecloth. Oh, where am I going to sit? Behind that screen. You're fasting anyway. You know, say, Howard. Howard, look at all those cars parked out in front of this building. And they're all Chevrolet. You said it. Little music, boys. Come on, let's liven up the party. Serve the soup garthones. Oy-oy. Oy-oy. You mean we-we. Some French waiter we got here. Play, boys. Come on, play. Let's get the party started. It's coming over the air, but it certainly sounds fine here. Mary, Mary, past the asparagus. Where is it? Right in front of you. Those are my gloves. Well, keep them off the table, will you? I want everybody to have a good time pitched right into the food. How are you doing, Miss Garbo? Fine. Air tanker, stay here. Well, that's a compliment, huh? What did you order, Mr. Chevalier? I ordered a steak a long time ago. Well, I'll see that you get it. How would you like your steak? Not today, not tomorrow, but right now. How about a song, Murray? Yeah, come on. Give us a song, Murray. No, no. I don't feel like- Oh, come on, Chevy. Just one now. Every bird across the dead, Every poodle has a nest In the park in Paris in the spring Every bird, every fish Seems to get his every wish In the park in Paris in the spring Can you imagine folks, every minute of the day Someone falls for Chevalier. Oh, Jack! Jack! What is it, Ed? I must tell you a joke. This has got a trigger. Gee, I wish frame were here. Go ahead, Chitty, go ahead. A man walks into a barbershop to get a shave. You'll fall down, Mr. Chevalier. I imagine I will, yes. A man walks into a barbershop to get a shave. So... Oh, Ed, when has changed? Well, anyway, when the barber got through shaving him, He went to his customer. Is that a red tie you're wearing? As the customer said, Oh, so the barber said, Well, that I must have cut your throat. I know you wouldn't get it. Oh, I didn't. Oh, Mr. Vinnie, Mr. Vinnie, what will I serve now? Serve the breaded beer shop, Bridget. We have no beer shop. Well, then just serve the bread, you know. Anyway, I think we ought to have a little entertainment. What do you say? A few words from Mary. That's right, a few words from Mary. Come on, Mary, say something. What do you say? Come on, Mary. Mary Living, Mary Living. Well, folks, this is certainly a surprise. I only rehearse two days. That's all right, Mary. Just make a little speech, you know. Well, I was born in Plainfield, New Jersey on a very dark day. When I was five years old, I said to myself, Cook, And now that we've heard from Mary Living, Then let's hear from that great artist sitting right here at this table. Freddie Ella. Hey, yes, Freddie Ella. What do you got to say, Freddie? Oh, folks. All I want to say is that I'm enjoying the banquet here tonight very much. With only a one-course dinner, then all I have at night is coffee anyway. But if you have no coffee, we're all even. Say, Freddie, didn't Walter Winslow show up tonight? Sure, there he is, sitting over there on the corner. Well, let's hear from that great psychic, A man that gives you past performances of lovers the same as you get on horses. The one and only Walter Winslow. Okay, Walter. Okay, America, let's go. Flash. There's no truth to report that Dickie Moore is that way about lollipops. When grilled, he said it was ice cream cones, and they will be melted in June. Flash, you can sit right down anytime now, Walter. I get it. This is Mrs. Winslow's little boy, Walter, signing off. Hello, little boy. People want to come up some time. You know. You know why. Why? Because potatoes are cheaper and cribs are much cheaper now. Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Are you Winslow or Kander? Who are you? Oh, it makes no difference to me. I can do them all. Quiet. You're crabbing the program. Mr. Vinnie, what do you want me to serve now? The strawberry shortcake. Ah, sure, and we have no strawberry shortcakes. Well, what have you got in the kitchen? Roaches. Well, never mind. I'll tell it to you. The fine thing to bring up in a bank is that certainly swell, eh? Hey, Jack, how about a word or two from Al Smith? Al Smith. After that, come on. Okay, Al Smith. Mr. Chairman, all I can say is that I'm having a great time up here tonight, and I'm glad that I was invited. I've been listening to the radio for a long time, and I'm happy to be here on this radio program because I like the radio. Well, Al, Al, wait a minute. Al, do you ever listen to the radio? I like that, too. You do, eh? Well, listen. Now, what do you think of the Chevrolet? It's the finest car on the market. Well, don't get sore about it. What's the idea? Let's just say so, you know. I wouldn't get angry. Say, how about a song? How about a song for Rudy Valley? That's right, Al. Let's be upright. Rudy Valley's starting. Rudy Valley. Hey, we want Valley. Rudy Valley. All right. I owe everybody. What's that? I owe everybody. What? With your salary? Oh, Rudy. That's a prize. I owe everybody. Hello, everybody. This is Rudy Valley, contradicting Hollis Greeley. Greeley said, go west, young man. But I must rave about the east. I'll guess God and I will be your silly thingies. Your time is my time. Your time is my time. Your time is my time. Your time is my time. Your time is my time. Your time is my time. You know, I'm afraid we'll have to stop the banquet. It's 10.25. All right, Howard, let's turn out the guests and go to bed. Before we go, I want everybody to meet these celebrities. Ladies and gentlemen of the radio audience, I would like to introduce to you Mr. Johnny Woods, Give my life to anybody that wants to see me. And you'll be the playboy, Slane. Buying a low-priced car, my friends, be sure to look to the body. And when you do, just bear in mind the one big thing about bodies that repeated tests and experiment and experience of all combined approved. In a motor car body, steel alone is not enough. Neither strong enough, nor quiet enough, nor durable enough to give you the safety and satisfaction you're entitled to in a body today. Steel alone buckles. Steel alone rumbles. But, and here's why Chevrolet bodies are so much safer and better, when you take a steel body and add to it the supporting strength and solidity of tough, staunchly-braced hardwood, there's the real body. There's the safest, quietest, most durable type in the world, the kind that Chevrolet alone gives you in a car of lowest price. Every manufacturer of motor cars selling above $1,000 with only one exception uses bodies of steel plus hardwood. Even some manufacturers who use only steel in the bodies of their lowest price cars use hardwood plus steel in their highest price lines. Thus conceding that steel alone is not enough. No, it's not enough for the body of a quality car like the safe, quiet, dependable Chevrolet. Ladies and gentlemen, this program concludes the present series of Chevrolet broadcast starring Jack Benny. Next fall, Chevrolet will again have the pleasure of bringing Jack Benny to you over the air in another series of Chevrolet programs. So until next fall, Chevrolet, bid you goodnight and goodbye. Well, folks, that was the last number of the last Chevrolet program until the fall. We'll be back again in October and I hope you will all listen in again but I just want to say goodbye until then. I hope you will all have a very, very happy summer. Hey, Jimmy. Jimmy, wouldn't you like to say goodbye to the folks? Oh, sure. Goodbye, everybody. So long, Jack. I hope you enjoyed being with you on this program. Thanks. Oh, by the way, Jimmy, I borrowed $7 from you the first week we were together. Remember? Yeah, that's all right, though, Jack. Don't worry about it. Well, I was just thinking that if you could let me have three more, I'll give you back $10 this fall. You know, when things get a little better, you know what I mean. Hey, Jack, I'd like their word, too, if you don't mind. All right, Howard. Yes. Goodbye, everybody. And Jack, I also want to tell you how much I've enjoyed being on this program. I think you're a swell fellow. Thanks, Howard. I think you're great. Thanks. In fact, I think you're the most economical guy in the low price for you. I know that was coming, Howard. I know. Oh, Mary. Yes, Jack. And Mary, wouldn't you like to say goodbye to the folks? Goodbye, folks. See you again sometime. What are you going to do this summer, Mary? Oh, I'll be busy. I have a long Christmas list to make out and I might as well get it over with. Oh, I see. Well, let's go, Mary. Oh, just a minute, folks. There's somebody else who wants to say goodbye. You mister egg. Where did that come from? I was just looking over last week's program. Our time flies. Well, good night, folks. This is the National Broadcasting Company.