 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan assay of Jonathan assay comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. This is a Saturday edition called Jonathan from the heart So the topic is is he scared of his feelings here's scared of his feelings for you Here's one reason why really quickly before we get started if my content is new to you check out the links below in the description for a variety of product or Variety of things to get to know me a little bit better. All right. Is he scared of his feelings for you? Here's one possible reason. Oh, by the way, my shirts as Willie wonk on it and my cup says Really quickly it says love yourself. Love yourself. I'm a little disheveled today this morning So and these videos are shot from my balcony overlooking the ocean. So Are the marina? So is he scared of his feelings for you? Here's one possible reason So I'd say a person a big percentage of men it could be as much as 30 percent of men who have experienced this Have a really hard time getting close to women getting intimate with women and I'm not talking about Sexual intimacy. I'm talking about emotional intimacy And there's a reason there's one possible reason why this happens and I know some of you probably have investigated the idea is This is does he have a good relationship with his mom? We've often talked about this in other videos about how the amago and if you're not familiar with the work of Harvelle Hendricks check out the book getting the love you want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt That we follow patterns similar to our upbringing and so we choose Relationships based on our mothers or our fathers and our experiences with them So that's one possible reason and one of the reasons why men have a Struggles getting close Happens to do with love attachment style love attachment style if you're not familiar with the book attached Check out the book attached to understand anxious avoidant and secure love attachment styles So we have our upbringing as children We have our love attachment style that happens in childhood But this is the one topic that is that never gets discussed that I want to bring up today And it's rather personal to me And it's the experience of being publicly shamed In grade school publicly shamed in grade school by a female teacher by a female teacher. I Know when I was in third grade I Had a female teacher and I'm only bringing up because most teachers in at least in my generation were mostly Women who absolutely shamed me in front of this in front of the class And it left such a scar that I mean to this it's to this day when I think about it I can literally go back and viscerally think about it And I didn't realize for a long long time that I harbored I mean this defined who I was and what she said in front of the classroom was I was stupid and So it actually defined me as believing that I am stupid And I stood and that carried forward in my life But I also didn't realize that this was a public shaming by a female and actually for the longest time I harbored some sort of angst over that a chip on my shoulder over that and And it took a long time to heal from that So I'm not the only man this experiences boys experience this Significantly growing up and quite frankly girls have experienced the same thing as well by male teachers This isn't singular to the one gender And this is one of the reasons why some people have a difficulty of getting closer to you It's not that they don't want to men genuinely want to get closer women want to get closer one another We crave our little kid inside of us craves being loved by another human being This is why I'm such a big proponent of my book What the heck is self-love anyway check out the link below what the heck is self-love anyway as a way to Expand and heal from those childhood wounds, and I certainly carried a wound for quite some time So while I have a great relationship with my mom There were many school teachers that shame me and I probably resent harbored some resentments And I was talking to a therapist the other day not for me, but For a client and and just to get some feedback on it She said this is a significant thing that happened that never gets talked about and that's why I want to bring it to your attention So what do we do in these cases? We have a lot of compassion for people who struggle getting close I mean, this is where those big gigantic Jonathan bear hugs are so important I highly recommend also checking out the book. Hold me tight. Hold me tight Okay, this will help you navigate a relationship with someone who's struggling to get close All of these books and I recommend so many Barbara DeAngela's books how to make love all the time. I'm gonna say ladies. You are the container for the emotional Driving the the the emotional car of the relationship because we men struggle But here's the thing if we are into you You can introduce us all these books and if we're into you we're gonna want to make you happy If we're into you okay now here's the struggle if you're afraid to speak to your guy It's cuz you're not certain that he's genuinely into you and what I mean to end you is like he's fully in And I know this is hard because most guys are kind of one foot in one foot out I've shot a couple videos on that as well But here's what I want you to do is take charge of your relationship destiny be unafraid to Introduce things to help your relationship grow because he can overcome this intimacy issue If you're both on the same team and again Most guys aren't because they're only half into you and I know that fucking sucks Okay, I get it. It's only be with someone who's half in to you. They're half in they're half out My invitation for you choose the relationship that feels right for you And if it doesn't feel right from you for you Then you have to decide is this the right is this the path? I want to take in my life. Do I want to settle or do I want to experience a juicy delicious relationship? that's Does this make sense? Can you can you let me know if I'm making sense here? Does any of this resonate with you? I want to hear do you have a question about this post a comment below? I want to hear about this I do my best to read every single one and even respond Okay, and if you'd like more of a personal touch, I definitely want you to check out my group called midlife love mastery It's my VIP group. The link is right below I actually shoot videos just like this for the group three times a week based on the questions from the members of the group We have a Facebook page We have a once a month webinar, so you can have direct access to me for just a short few dollars a few bucks a month All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic job than Willy Wonka I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to somebody and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love And we can all use a lot more love in our lives. Thank you so much and wishing you a fabulous day Bye. Bye now