 listen it's the message right here black boy tell me how you really feel because i just want to build with you black girl tell me how you really feel i want to keep it real with you i want to live better eat better i want to love better sleep better yeah i want to feel so alive this is a good one talk to me why is it hard for men to tap into their emotions are men afraid yes that's right answer that however you want it's two i know it's two questions are men afraid yes why are we afraid because we don't know how to you know there's that music so uh so child song teach me how to love show me the way like that's real and what what i mean by that is so some psychologists have you know hypothesized or even tested that the average woman says more words a day than the average man the average girl says more words a day the average female child is going to speak earlier than the average male child so so not only could you make an argument that women are predisposed to be better at communicating and emotional intelligence as a consequence but women are also socialized girls are also socialized and encouraged to be right so the average boy doesn't know how to never learn how to um he learned how to in the ways that are comfortable for other boys you know like are we gonna go play this game of basketball we're gonna play 2k you know i'm saying you good bro you know i'm saying we've learned in those ways but in the ways on y'all's level we're not there and i think a lot of times where women fail us is they don't recognize that and they expect us to be at their level they expect somebody who's just started learning Spanish to be on the level of somebody who grew up in Spain right and that's the difference um so yeah we're scared of our emotions because we don't understand it um and fear sometimes turns to hate and some men including myself hate emotions and i think the other piece too that we don't recognize is that for a very long time throughout history emotions didn't serve men men were hunters men were warriors men were diplomats there was no time incentive or purpose to crying for instance um and you know we're just learning how to do that and we're following y'all's lead but um the leadership can be condescending and i think a bit of grace would help um but yeah boys are scared of emotions because we don't know it we're not familiar with it hmm i mean i guess i'll just ask it the way it's asked is it okay for a woman or a man to date multiple women and is it okay for a woman to date multiple men is it okay for a man to date multiple women and a woman to date multiple men is it okay to who right so let's put it in the context of our relationship i guess i think this might be the best way i mean i'll start i'll start by saying the reality we're gonna have to like wrestle with at some point as a community right men are predisposed to be polygamists should men be polygamists i think that is worth a conversation um i do everything men should be honest and give women the option of you know do i want to stick around or do i want to go um so and that's why i asked is it okay for who because for some women they could work something out for other women they might not be able to because i mean one of the realities we have to we have to reckon with as a community because again this is about black men and black women the number of marriage eligible and marriage enthusiastic is how i'll call it so marriage eligible and marriage enthusiastic women far outweigh the number of marriage ready and enthusiastic black men so we're either going to have to subscribe to one of two realities reality number one a lot of black women prove kevin samer's right in dialogue or um actually let's call it three options a lot of black women die alone y'all have to some people say start sharing niggas but continue sharing niggas let's be real let's continue sharing the niggas right or get your asian man get your white man get your hispanic man and we're gonna have to like as a community at some point like make peace with one of those three options um now the the female version the is it okay for a woman to have multiple men i would say it's unnatural because at the end of the day like you can have five niggas all you want but only one of them can get you pregnant at a time so like the biology doesn't the math isn't mapping you know what i mean so um but hey i've seen women do it so hey i'm awful if you want to do it and everybody's on board do you think i wouldn't fuck with it but actually all right cool um all right this is a good little segue why do men want loyalty why do some men want loyalty but are hesitant on giving commitment so it's pretty much the i'm doing my thing but you should only be fuck only me i've also been been guilty of that i think it's i think it's ego primarily but i think the other piece too is i think we feel as men we feel like there are more consequences potential consequences of female infidelity i guess than there are for male infidelity meaning that like if i'm saying like i want to keep doing my thing but i want you to just be committed to me again i'm just trying to say bluntly like i feel like i might be fucked with those other bitches but i i fuck with you like for real for real whereas i don't there's no evidence that the average woman is capable of making that separation like that other nigga you fuck with like you fuck with him right whereas that these are the holes and just like other holes um and what's interesting i was thinking about this the other day and i'll be interested to know women's thoughts on this and other niggas thoughts on this as well but like i saw this thing on i think it was on instagram and it was like if a nigga has two girls he talks to so a main chick and a side chick and to one of the girls he's completely honest he tells her what it is what it ain't and to the other girl he lies you know he went with you the other night i was with my boys this and that who does he love more most women were like you know the one he keeps it all the way real with again i'm interested to know other niggas answers so y'all comment or whatever and then we'll ask other dudes on the show but from my perspective and from the niggas i've talked to the one that he lies to is the one he loves the most because that's the one he's scared of losing on top of that that's the one he wants to keep the fantasy for that's the one he wants to continue to be superman for the other one is like whatever now on the flip side a woman has two dudes one that she lies to one that she's completely honest with who does she love more you answer that for me why am i answering it no but you're a woman so like what what who do you think she loves more she has two niggas one that she lies to one that she's completely honest with who does she love more for sure the one that she's honest with why how did they just how did this just turn like this i'll tell you why i think but i want to hear what you think um i think that women like want to be loyal and prove their love quote unquote to the man that they want to be with i think that's part of it i think what it is the two things women want from a man is provision and the second thing which you could even make the argument is the most important thing safety the person that can see you naked what's that lma song love me naked is the person you love the most because that's who you feel the most safe with because as a woman unfortunately 99 percent of your life is a facade from your makeup to your white girl voice in the office like everything is putting on so the person you love the most is the person who loves you when you're just you so you think it's the one that women are more honest with interesting yeah it's the one so it's the complete opposite of because at the end of the day we want to be superman women want to be the damsel in distress but could you also argue that women might want for the one that they love to see them in a certain light so they're willing to lie or to construe things not like men not like men not like men i think a woman who really loves a nigga wants wants him to love her back as her like i think women are a lot more conscious of for instance like i've had girls tell me that i would rather i think it means more when i'm approached when i have sweatpants on and i'm not done oh for sure then when i'm you know what i'm saying all damn dumb and shit like that yeah yeah because it's like who is the like who's really who you hear for yeah like what are you here for for sure so and and that goes back to like the the inherent difference between men and women we as men want the woman who makes us feel the most powerful because that's what is vital to us i suspect i'm not a woman women want a man who gives them permission to be their weakest sure the most feminine because it feels good because you feel like i've had conversations with women where they're like i just want to be able to i just want to be absolutely niggas just don't want to exist exactly niggas don't want to be niggas want to like conquer right niggas want to do shit but a woman just wants to niggas want to like be better than the next nigga but what i think part of where our community is messed up is that y'all are doing a better job at our role right now and that dynamic is kind of we might have to redefine what it means but again we haven't advanced that much since we came out of the Garden of Eden or the caves whatever you believe Africa we haven't advanced that much psychologically but we're trying to interface with a an advanced world and an advancing world and we're just trying to figure it out