 The Kraft Foods Company presents the great Gildersleeve. It's the great Gildersleeve starring Harold Perry brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. Now let's see what goes on with the great Gildersleeve. He comes home in the evening and finds the hall table piled up as usual with everything under the sun. I found it. Let's clean up this mess here. Leroy, Marjorie. What is it? Nothing else for you? Why must everybody pile everything on this table? Good evening, Bernie. It is just about ready. Right away. Marjorie. How long is it? Your hat. Leroy. Did you call me out? Get this out of here. I'll burn it. Okay. Hereafter, I want this table. How long has this letter been here? A couple of... Listen, mail is important. Don't you know that? I've been lying around here for a couple of days. Suppose that was a check for a million dollars, Leroy. I'm asking you. Suppose that was a check for a million dollars. Well, let's open it and see. Leroy, have you washed your hands? I wasn't reading at all. Have you washed your hands? Sure. Well, go wash them. Okay. Man has no more privacy around here than... What day is this, Marjorie? Wednesday. I mean, what day? I think it's the third. Oh, my goodness. And this is for tomorrow. Oh, that's terrible. It says RSVP. I don't know what you must think of me by now. I'll just have to call her up. Excuse me, sir. Birdie, do you know how long this letter has been lying on this table here? Five days. At least. Yeah. Well, count on it. This time, you people around here learned that mail is important. It's not something to be kicked around the house. The mail must go through. That's one of the first principles of our government. That's why tampering with a mail is a federal offense. That's why... I wasn't tampering with it. Well, I didn't mean it. Any mail comes out. I leave it late. Same with letters and same with checks. I don't touch nothing. Not birdies. Same with money, too. I find any money laying anywhere. I dust around it. Yeah, well, I'm sure you do. Yes, sir. Nobody ain't gonna get nothing on Birdie. Well, I wasn't blaming you for this, Birdie. It's just embarrassing. That's all. A lady sends me an invitation and gets no reply. Makes me out to be very rude. Yes. Well, let's have dinner, my dear. I'll call Miss Goodwin later. Miss Goodwin, huh? You haven't seen her lately? Hardly seen her all winter. She's been very busy, I suppose, just as I've been. Anybody would be busy without a whole school full of Leroy. Yeah, I guess so. Eh, this my napkin? Eh, must be. Yes, that's a trouble with winter. People get too busy. But now that it's spring, they begin to relax a little. Eh, that's what's nice about spring. I think she's so attractive, don't you? Hm? Oh, oh, yeah. Very attractive woman, very. Capable, too. Capable and yet, eh, attractive. Remind me to call her right after dinner. Unki. Yes, my dear? Have you decided yet about tomorrow night? Tomorrow night? I mean about then. You said you'd make up your mind later, and I thought, well, as long as you're going out tomorrow night. Well, my dear, ordinarily, I don't approve you're going out on school evenings, but just this once, as long as it's spring, and as long as it's bad. Oh, Unki. Eh, go ahead, have a good time, my dear. Where's dinner here? Where's Leroy? Leroy, I told you to come down to dinner. He told me to wash my hands. Well, come to dinner. Birdie? Come down. You can bring it on now. Never mind what's for dinner. Why don't you wipe your hands on a towel, Leroy, instead of on your pants? No towel. Suppose you had no pants? If there's no towel, go get one. Yes, sir. Not now. Sit down and eat. Sit down and eat. Go get a towel. Why could we, Leroy? Oh, Birdie, by the way, I guess I'll just be Leroy for dinner tomorrow night. Marjorie and I would both be going out. Hey! No, Leroy. That's up to Birdie. He'll have to ask her. Oh, boy, can I go and call him now? You haven't asked Birdie yet. She always says yes. Don't you, Birdie. Boy, that'll be super. Piggy and I can have a neat time. Hello. Well, be careful what you do with it. That's all. Excuse me. Are you talking about Mar-Night Thursday? Yeah, that's right, Birdie. Oh, my goodness. That's your day off, isn't it? I hate to ask you to change your day off again, Birdie, but... It ain't that, Mr. Gillis, please. It's about Judge Lucas' dinner. Is he coming here to dinner again? Well, I understood you and the whole family were going over to Judge Lucas tomorrow. Not tomorrow, Birdie. Oh, no. By George, it is. It's tomorrow. Completely slipped my mind. Oh, for God's sake. Get out of it some way, Uncle Roy. Golly, I'd like to. We've got to, that's all. Yeah, gosh. People be so disappointed, Mar-Night. They say it's fine. If the old goat didn't make such a great big thing out of it every year, can't found these annual customs, never should have got started in the first place. The whole thing is ridiculous anyway. The idea that I should have to report to him once a year on new children in the estate. That's not what a pro-date judge is for. It's just something the old goat made up. You are one of the king-old brothers, the old goat. Eh, Leroy. That's not the attitude either. Judge Lucas has been a very good friend to both of you children. And to all of us. It's just that, well, calm-founded, I've got better things to do. So have I. Me, too. Well, I don't know how we're going to get out of it this late. I know. Don't miss this. But, Leroy, that wouldn't be true. Pardon me. Maybe if you explain to him, Uncle. I know. I'll tell him I had a previous engagement, only I didn't know it till today. Ah! Ah, that just happened, young man, to be the case. Now, eat your soup. I've ordered the whole dinner. I've ordered a special stewing hen for the fricassee. I've gone to all sorts of trouble. I know, Judge, and I wouldn't have had this happen for the world, but it was one of those things, that's all. You know we do this every year. I know, but I didn't hear from you, and then this invitation came for me. Don't twist the facts. You heard from me before you heard from her. All right, maybe I did. I know. You don't want to come to dinner. Of course. If our little custom means no more to you than that, let's skip it. Too bad. But if he's going to be an old goat about it, oh well. Long time no see. Oh, dear, and I was just going out. That's all right. I was going to phone you, even then I said to myself, no, I'll just run over there, because I owe you a thousand apologies. What for? Your invitation. I was lying on the hall table. I never found it till this evening, and then I was horrified. Oh, you needn't have been. Oh, but keeping you up in the air that way without an answer. Oh, I wasn't expecting you, so it was all right. You weren't expecting me? Oh no, Judge Hooker told me you wouldn't be able to make it. He? When I invited him. He told me all about your annual dinner. Oh, well about that Eve, that's all right now. All right, quite understand, and I wouldn't interfere with it for the world. Huh? I think it's such a lovely custom, two old friends sitting down formally to dine together once a year, and toasting their friendship on the anniversary of their meeting. Yes, dear. There's something almost classic about it, like Damon and Titias. Such friendships are rare, Drachmore, and they deserve to be cherished. Oh, yeah. So please, don't think I resent your refusing my invitation to keep your engagement with your old friends. I honor you for it. Uh... In fact, I wouldn't think very much of a man who didn't. Well, as long as you understand Eve, sorry I can't make it. Oh, I do, Drachmorton. And after all, what I was planning here was nothing important. Just an evening of fun. See you. Bye. Goodbye, Drachmorton. Oh, and by the way, if the judge's dinner ends early, stop overlading. It'll end early, all right. The vice's compliment on your cooking skill is a request for a second helping. And believe me, the whole family will be asking for second helpings if you cook with smooth-melting velvita. The rich yet mild cheddar cheese flavor of velvita does so much for so many foods. Velvita puts new life into those lent and main dishes. Fish, seafood, eggs, and macaroni. Or velvita makes a glorious cheese sauce for vegetables. And it's so easy. Just melt one half pound of velvita in the top of a double boiler. Next, stir in one quarter cup of milk. Then pour that golden sauce over broccoli, green beans, carrots, or cauliflower. Mmm, mmm, there won't be any leftovers. And speaking of leftovers, even they can be glamorized with velvita sauce. Don't forget that velvita helps supply high quality, complete protein, milk minerals, food energy, and vitamin A. And it's as digestible as milk itself. So if you want compliments on your cooking, be sure to get a package of velvita tomorrow. It's swell for snacks and sandwiches, too. Genuine velvita is the cheese food of craft quality. Now let's get back to Gildersleeve. He's had to swallow his pride and ask Judge Hooker to renew his invitation. By weighing the prospects of an evening with the judge against an evening of fun and games at Eve Goodwin's, it becomes clear to him that something must be done. And so... What can I do for you today? TV, you can do me a favor. What's the structure and business for? What's the nature of the favor? Well, I'll tell you, I'm going to dinner with Judge Hooker tonight. You see, every year he... Well, I won't go into the whole boring business, I want to get out of there early. Something else on the fire? Never mind. I want to get out and I need an excuse. That's where you come in. I want you to call me up at the judge's house. Wait till about 9.30, then call me to the telephone. That's right. It doesn't matter. I just want an excuse. I'll say I got an emergency phone call and was suddenly called away. Will you do it? Well, I need to get around to the pharmaceutical line. I'll make a simple little telephone call. All it can cost you is five cents. Oh, not to five cents, Mr. Justice. You know you're good for five cents. Well, what is it, then? Well, if I call up there and Judge Hooker answers, what's he going to say? You don't have to tell him who you are, disguise your voice. Easy. Just make it sound like somebody else. Go ahead, I'll try it. Let me hear it. Hello, Judge Hooker. This is not your peevee. Don't say your peevee. That'll give you a sure. Make up a name. Oh. Try it again. Hello, Judge Hooker. This is Mr. Smith. You sound just like peevee. No, I wouldn't say that. And you have to think of a better name than Smith. Look, peevee, can't you fake some kind of an accent or something? Pretend you're some kind of a foreigner? Well, I bordered with a Swedish man by the way. Oh, fine. Then you can be a sweet. Yeah, go ahead. Let's hear you. Hello, Judge Hooker. I've been Mr. Johansson. Great, great. Do it that way, peevee. That's great. I suppose he asked me what I want. Tell him you want to speak to me. Tell him anything. Tell him my house is on fire. No, no, no, that won't do. He can look just down the street there. Well, make up something, peevee. Tell him it's an emergency. Will you do it? I'm sorry. You're my friend for life, peevee. It's 9.30 tonight now, and remember, you're sweetie. Hello, Judge Hooker. I've been Mr. Johansson. Hello, Judge Hooker. I've been Mr. Johansson. Hello, Judge Hooker. I've been Mr. Johansson. It's ridiculous wearing my hair like a child. Just to please the judge. Well, I agree if it makes him happy. As a matter of fact, it's very becoming. After all, it's only once a year. Why does everything always have to be the same? It's so boring. We're all having to give up something this evening. Let's just grin and bear it, shall we? Grimly, right? Who's that supposed to be? Judge Hooker. So great, great. Are you all ready to go? Let me look at you. You look pretty good. Pretty good for you. You know, you're quite a nice looking boy when you get dressed up with your hair comb. There's just one thing. You ought to shine your shoes. Shine my shoes? Well, then put on another pair. I buy you a pair of shoes every week, it seems to me. What becomes of all the shoes I get to? Well, some of them get too small and some of them get like this. Well, go upstairs and try to find some of the lost ones. You can't find any. Try to polish these a little. No. The judge's housekeeper is a very kind-hearted woman. She thinks you like chicken. Kindly behave in such a way that she will have no reason to change her opinion. You can stand at once a year. I don't mind the chicken. I hate the carrot soup. Well, I don't really mind that. It's the prunes to play. Yeah, but we mustn't let the judge know. Remember that. Uncle Mort, is there any chance of getting away early? I mean early enough for me to... I don't believe so, my dear. Not early enough for you to go out with this. That's the way grown-up people enjoy themselves, my boy. You might as well get used to it. Josh, I'd rather be a kid. I suppose the judge will let us look through his serious scope. Those dull pictures of Yellowstone National Park. Well, you don't have to look at them if you don't want to join in the conversation. I'm looking to a judge tell about how he stole a chapel bell at college every year, he tells me. Well, this year I won't let it. Why, George, is such a thing as carrying politeness too far. How about some more of the stewed celery, Leroy? No, thanks, Judge. Yeah, some more of the chicken, anyway. Mrs. Fogel, would you mind going around again with the chicken? Sure, ma'am. Oh, no, thank you, Mrs. Fogel. I couldn't possibly. Delicious, but really... Mrs. Fogel, I just don't dare. I'm known to be devoted to the pleasures of the table. But even I have to draw the line someplace. Well, Leroy, I guess it's up to you to save the family reputation. Me? How about a nice wing, Leroy? Oh, thank you, Mrs. Fogel. Leroy, I think you can forget manners for once and have another helping. What? Yeah, go ahead, my boy. I'll forgive you. Mrs. Fogel isn't going to let you down, Leroy. Good old prunes to play. Take some more chicken, a little weasel. Okay. Which one, Judge? The measure is... come on over here to the door, Gam Leroy. Marjorie. Oh, for cornflakes. Yeah, come on. Marjorie has grown a mostly fast twelve months, beginning to look like quite a young lady. But these pig tails really, Judge. Where's last year's Marjorie's? I don't think it was last year. Marjorie, 1945. There it is. Stand up there, my dear. Head flat against the wall. Excuse me. Hold still while I make the mark. There. Right there, over your nose. I've only grown half an inch. Lucky, do you realize what that means? I've grown up. Well, you may be right. Little Marjorie. Well, well. I suppose you'd be going to the dances and all that kind of thing in another few years. In another few years? Why, but what for this thing? Yes. Leroy, suppose you stand up there and see if you're getting any bigger. You're kidding. Don't cheat the boy, Horace. Make the mark level with the top of his skull. That's level. That's belly. He's grown about three inches. Well, what does it matter after all? The main thing is to have a record each year, isn't it? And as long as you're not shrinking, Leroy. Well, I should say not. He was getting to be a fine big boy. I suppose you'd be going to college one of these days, won't you, Leroy? I suppose so. Sending him to your alma mater, Gildy? Or do you want him to get an education? Now, listen here, you old goat. Just because you went to some little eastern college that nobody ever heard of, with a football team that couldn't even beat Bassard. Why, we had an excellent... It was an excellent college. And if Leroy happens to have an inclination toward the law, he couldn't choose a better school to give him his foundation. What about it, Leroy? Care to be an attorney or a judge? Nah. I want to be an airline pilot. Oh, plenty of time, judge. The boy's not even in high school yet. Well, perhaps I worry unduly. I know I shouldn't. After all, both you children come from fine stuff. Your mother was a cultivated, lovely woman. My sister-in-law. Your father was a splendid man. I know you both are not all of them. Yes, yes. Trax Morton, perhaps you and I should excuse ourselves and retire to my study for a little financial discussion. Huh? Leroy, I know you've been itching to get your fingers on my serious scope all evening. You and Marjorie can examine the slides if you wish. Well, your uncle and I have a little talk in my study. Is this really necessary, Horace? In my opinion, it's vital. Oh, well. Come on, let's make it snappy. Only nine if off. Oh, wait out the bottom. It's probably the judge. I don't want to look at those stale things anymore. I wish we could go home. I'd rather be in bed even. We'll have to go soon. It's almost 9.30. The judge is sure got a house for a judge. Let's put away the pictures. I have some kind of ceremony. Another one for Concey. Well, he claims this is a sort of a surprise. Some sort of a presentation, I believe. I bet it's a book. How shall we go home, huh? Quietly, Roy. Soon the fall goes well. Oh, hello, Horace. Well, children, I have a surprise for you. For each of you. I didn't tell you to say these until your respective 21st birthday, but I decided not to. Well, that's you got there, Horace. Yep, open it with a key. Oh, there we are. Now, Leroy, I take great pleasure in presenting you with something that was given me by my father many years ago. It's something I prize very highly, and I hope you'll prize it also. It's a gold, honey-caped watch. Made by Tiffany. A gold watch? Cheaper. Well... Do I get the little rubber bag, too? Yes, that comes with it. What do we say, Leroy? Oh, yeah. See, thanks a lot, sir. Marjorie, go watch. I think Leroy means to be grateful, Horace. I must say, I don't know why you should give him such a magnificent present. Well, I have a deep personal interest in these children, Dr. Morton, an interest that extends far beyond my legal responsibility, as I believe you know it. Good old Horace. Bye, George. And now, Marjorie, I'm not forgetting you. What you'll find in this little box is that she was an extremely beautiful woman in her younger days, and while she grew a little heavy, she remained handsome till the day of her passing. They're real pearls, Leroy. Real pearls. Horace. Small, but real. Oh, George. They're the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Marjorie. A gold watch. They love me twice in a year. I'll look at them on the dial. A gold watch. You don't have to say anything, old man. You know that I love these children just as much as you do. You've been a second uncle to them, Horace. Isn't that true, Leroy? Hasn't the judge been a second uncle to you? A gold watch. I'll never beg. That's Shammy. Yeah, yeah. Bye, George. Bye, Horace. Oh, my goodness. Hello. Do you yell at me? Let's hold the line. For you yell at me? For me? I don't think you're calling me here. It's TV. The man's time has grown. But I'll speak to him. Hello? Make it this evening. Goodbye. No, no, no. It's really nothing. Oh, it can't pass to me about business in the evening. Not when I'm enjoying myself with an old friend, anyway. I was saying to Leroy, Marjorie, the judge has been a second uncle to you children, hasn't he? He's been wonderful. They're a darling judge. Well, as I say, I... What's this? Dickens. Hello? Dylan McLean? Hold the wire. TV again. It's not TV. It's a man named Johnson. Hello? I told you, Johnson, I can't be bothered tonight. Goodbye. Oh, darn pest. What were you saying, Horace? Well, I've been intending to say these things to the children for 21. And I got to thinking. The allotted standard man is three-four years and ten. Oh, I've arrived now. Horace, you're not feeling sick. Oh, no. That is nothing out of the ordinary. I never saw you looking better. Did you, children? I think you look great. I never saw I'm looking younger. Of course. You live many a long year yet, old friend. Many a long happy prosperous year, I hope. Sure, judge. The first hundred years of an artist. Leroy means well, Horace. I know he does. Leroy is... Let's do it. Let me answer that, Horace. That fellow Johnson, I'll break his neck. Hello? Is that you, Johnson? He got... What do you think I am? Are you there, Johnson? Johnson. But if you see TV, tell him to stick to the drug business. TV is an idiot. As I've been thinking. I might send Leroy east to college after all. There's something about those little colleges back there. They're so old and they have such wonderful traditions. It'd give me real pleasure to recommend Leroy to the committee on admission. Real pleasure. All right, George, I'll do it. Make a gentleman out of it. At the same time, I believe he'd enjoy it. I certainly enjoyed my own undergraduate days. Sure. Say, kid, you ever heard the judge tell about the time he stole the chapel bell when he was in college? Tell him, Horace. Go on, tell him, oh, you'll love this. Well, it was like this. Yeah? There was a little gang of us. Yeah, I remember. One night we all... 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