 This is why relationships don't work with narcissists. When you are with a narcissist, it can often feel as though you don't even exist. You feel invisible. You feel like you don't matter. Although they may have mattered to you. You may have decided to be with this one person. One person you could spend the rest of your life with. Someone I could support and hope for their success. Someone I could encourage. Someone I could love. A person I could be vulnerable and intimate with. Without being cautious about potential trouble or danger. A person I could just be myself around. But I could just act naturally. Without the fear of being criticised or judged. A person who could be themselves around me. Someone who doesn't have to constantly try to prove themselves or impress me. Someone who can let their guard down. Someone who can be vulnerable. Who I could then love unconditionally. Protect and support. Provide for. Someone who shows her the way. Someone she desires. Someone to be loyal to and share affection. Someone that I could give the best myself to. Knowing that she would cherish it. This is what we wanted and hoped for. When we let our guards down around the narcissist. And while we may have been needed. While we may have been considered to be useful for an actively or purpose. It is not one that we had imagined. The narcissist saw you as a doctor or therapist. And they were like patients who were sick in treatment. They were looking for a remedy or cure. Something to fill that void. It's not something that they can do on their own. They cannot complete themselves. So they look for someone to bring them this remedy or cure. And as I said earlier. We were looking for someone we could give the best as ourselves to. We were looking for someone who we could do things for. But we were also hoping that it would be reciprocated. Because we all need to feel loved. We all need to feel like we are being listened to. We all need to feel like we matter to someone. The basis and foundation of a relationship. Is that it should be reciprocal. There should be an equal exchange. But the narcissist has nothing to give to you. They are the ones who are seeking treatment from you. They are the ones who need your support. The patient is not supposed to support the doctor or therapist. They targeted you based on your qualities and abilities. Believing that you had the remedy or cure. They believed that you were going to be the medicine. That would make everything better for them. You are the medicine that gives them what they need. Attention and admiration. Emotional regulation and support. Listening to their issues or problems. Fixing things for them. Solving their problems. Making them feel good about themselves. Making them look good in front of other people. They need this medicine. They believe that it is going to cure them. And that is why they will do whatever it takes to get it. They will be fully committed to you. Because you are the doctor or therapist that they have been looking for. They were like patients looking for the right doctor. Someone who can prescribe them with what they need. Tension and admiration. Emotional regulation and support. Someone to make them feel good about themselves. Someone to make them forget about what they really are. When you begin to realise that this is never going to be reciprocal. You lose the motivation and desire to give them what they need. Because you are just getting drained in the process. You no longer have the energy. So the treatment you are giving to them no longer has the same effect anyway. And that is why relationships don't work with narcissists. Because they are never reciprocal. There is never an equal exchange. Which means that you are always getting the short end of the stick. And they are taking what you would otherwise use to support yourself. For their own needs. In their attempt to fill that void. Which inevitably leaves you feeling drained and lifeless. You no longer have the energy to support them. But they don't look at it as though they have drained the life out of you. They see it as though you are lazy. They see it as though you are no good. And that is when they will then leave. And find someone else. Who they now perceive to be superior to you. But the same thing just happens again and again. They are just patients. Looking for the perfect doctor or therapist. Someone to fix them. Someone to meet their needs. But it's just not possible for anything to sustain that over a long period of time. Without receiving the attention and support that they need in return. You can't maintain your energy and health. Under that level of demand and pressure. It's only a matter of time until you collapse. And then the narcissist is going to see it as though you were defective. When in fact they just used you up until there was nothing left. And they never gave you anything to replenish you. It's like driving a car until the fuel runs out. And then wondering why it won't work anymore. You need to take a break from driving it. Fill it up with some fuel. Look after it. And then it will be ready. Take you to where you need to go. But narcissists do not understand this mentality. They are only focused on their own feelings about themselves. Their own issues and problems. And that is why relationships don't work with narcissists. Thank you for watching. I hope this video is in with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you are elected today. My paypal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries, you can email me at nagsforilcoaching.com Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.