 One of my favorite quotes is, if nothing changes, nothing changes. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel's all about mental health, and what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community, try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And before I get started, quick announcement for all of my beautiful Patreons out there, or patrons out there. Make sure you go check out the announcements because I just posted like a January follow-up thing. I just wanna make sure everybody's taken care of. So from your name and the credits at the end, or if you have the $10 tier up, that I have your link down in the description, or at the $30 tier by beautiful girlfriend. She draws a picture for you too, all sorts of cool stuff. Just wanna make sure you're all taken care of. So anyways, some of you have asked me about Patreon and what's offered over there. Just click on the link. It's always down in the description or in the end card. Click over there. You'll see what's offered at each tier. And this week, exciting announcement, I'm starting the podcast, and it kind of involves Patreon. So you'll all see what that's about soon. So anyways, I wanted to do this topic today about Artricia Paitis and Jason Nash's relationship. Is it a lost cause? Are they hopeless? Because I wanna just kind of follow up because we looked at one dynamic with Liza Koshy and David Dobrik, where two people split up or even take a break and one of the people works on themselves because they need to. And now we're looking at a different dynamic with Trisha Paitis and Jason Nash. So a lot of you asked me about this, and this is part of my relationships playlist. A lot of you asked me about different subjects. So by the way, if you didn't know, I have an entire playlist called the Broken Picker Relationship Playlist. Check that out. 99% of your questions have been answered in that playlist. So go check it out. But anyways, when it comes to Jason and Trisha, obviously they have their ups, their downs, and all that, and I've done plenty of videos about it. But now we're gonna talk about the aspect of two people who are in a relationship. They love each other. They want things to work out. How do you do that, right? And just again, for any of you who are new to my channel or don't understand what I do, my videos are not about Trisha and Jason. I am just using them as a point of reference because I know a lot of you can relate to this, okay? So I've had a lot of questions about, you know, can this work out, will this work out, and all that. And I'm gonna share some of my experience, not only with my own relationships, but just working with a lot of clients who have been in these types of relationships. So what I see works, what I see doesn't work, all right? Now, one of the reasons I'm making this video too is, in one of my videos about Trisha and Jason, I asked you all a question. I said, have any of you spent far too much time in a relationship waiting for a person to change? And the comments, the replies were, they were surprising but not surprising because so many of us do that. Like, if you go look at the comments, I'll actually put some up on the screen right now where people are like, yeah, I wasted five years, eight years, I've seen people say I wasted 10 years. Like, I've seen so many people say they wasted their time waiting for someone to change, right? And like, here's my thing, here's my thing. One of the reasons why I stayed single so long and waited for the opportunity to meet someone as amazing as my girlfriend Tristan was because six and a half years ago, I almost died. Time is our most precious asset, right? We can never get it back. So like, after my near-death experience because of my own drug addiction, like, I don't wanna waste time anymore. I don't wanna waste time in a relationship where I will never get that time back. So that's why I try to talk about this in different videos. But I'm gonna do a video at a different point about how Jason and Trisha have actually helped a lot of people. But here's a DM that I actually got over on Instagram explaining how one of the videos actually helped them. And I don't take any credit for this. Like, I just want to give some of you some clarity or maybe an aha moment so you can make your own decisions. But yeah, this is a DM I got over on Instagram the other day. If you're not following me on Instagram, go follow me at the Rewired Soul. I'm trying to get to 10,000 followers. So this DM says, Hey Chris, I subscribed to you recently and wanted to personally thank you for your latest video. I just got out of a four-plus year relationship and I've been really struggling with handling my first breakup. Yes, I am part of the Discord server. No, I have not posted to seek support yet. Unfortunately, my partner has always struggled with his mental health and was, as I found out, dishonest with himself, slashed me throughout our entire relationship. I encouraged him to try and get help consistently, but whenever he would, he wouldn't find the therapist to be the right fit and would give up. Watching your videos on a daily basis has really helped in reinforcing the fact that even though we both still care about each other, he is in no place to be in a relationship right now. He needs to work on himself and I need some time to work on being my biggest source of support again. But anyway, thank you so much again and I hope you're doing well. Good luck with reaching 10,000. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. Help me reach 10,000. But yeah, that's why I make these videos. You're already consuming this content and maybe there's something that you can learn from it. That's my goal here. That's what I'm doing here. So when it comes to Tricia and Jason, basically what I wanna talk about is couples therapy versus individual therapy. This is purely my opinion. For example, like if you talk to my mom who's a professional psychologist and has a lot more experience than I do, she's been in the field for 20 years, my mom is a huge advocate for couples therapy and family therapy and all of that. For me, I am a huge believer in individual therapy, all right? Like something I always try to teach each and every one of you is, it's a lot easier for you to fix you than it is to fix the rest of the world, right? So what I had to learn when working on myself and working on my mental health was I need to, it's not so much about how everybody else is going to change because I have no control over that, but it's about how I deal with it, right? How do I respond to situations? Like I have no control over, for example, I have no control over the nasty comments that I get down in my videos, no control over that. What I have a little control over is how I respond to that. So in my opinion, in a situation like Trisha, Payness and Jason, they both need to do individual therapy, all right? Like sometimes people think that I'm giving Trisha a hard time and not so much Jason. Like if I haven't made it clear, they're both messes, all right? They both have things that they need to work on. Like most of you have seen more of their videos than I have and you know that they both have separate issues, you know, from Trisha's past and dealing with, you know, her father not being there and things like that. Jason's divorce and, you know, Jason's issues with his family growing up and all of those things. These are things that should be worked on on an individual basis because what we find out through things like individual therapy is why do I respond in relationships the way I do? Why do I react the way I do? Why do I overreact the way I do? For example, I'm gonna link up in the info card, the in-depth video my mom did over on her channel about relationships, right? Like one of the most fascinating statistics out there is like there was a study, they surveyed like thousands of couples, thousands of couples about their arguments and check this out. Like this is pure insanity and I hope if you take nothing else away from this video, you remember what I'm about to tell you, okay? In all fights, in all fights, they found that 90%, 90% of the arguments were not based on what was currently happening in that moment, okay? What does that mean? What that means is you're getting in an argument about something that happened a long time ago. You're getting in argument because of something that your mom or your dad did to you. You're getting in an argument because the way your ex hurt you, right? So think about that for a second. This is why individual therapy, when you're trying to work on a relationship is so important because you're snapping at your partner for things that somebody else did, right? Your fear of abandonment isn't because of your partner. It's because of one of your parents not being there or it's because of a breakup you had that was so much traumatic. They up and left you, right? These are the things that we can only work on in individual therapy. We get more personal time because in couples therapy, like therapy is very limited, right? You get like 50 minutes. So when you go to couples therapy, you are sharing that time with the other person and since you and your partner don't even know how to communicate, half of that time might be spent bickering in front of a therapist and them trying to like calm you two down. But if both people, Trisha and Jason in this case, were going to therapy on their own, they could talk to somebody, right? And get this unbiased outside point of view because what you find in a lot of relationships is, oh, oh, I'm right, I'm right, this and this and sometimes like people are looking for someone to just agree with their side. Like so many of our issues and relationships is we wanna win, right? We wanna be the one who won that argument. So when you're working with a therapist who doesn't know you, right? They have no problem calling you out on your crap if they're good at what they do, all right? This is another reason why a therapist is better than going to your friends or going to your family. I'm not saying don't rely on your friends and family for support, but you gotta understand that their opinions of you might be somewhat biased. Here's a great example. I was in my full-blown drug addiction and alcoholism while I was still with my son's mom and I had a bunch of friends where no matter what happened, they would side with me. I spent all the money on drugs, they would side with me, right? I was drunk at my son's birthday party, they would side with me. Like, you see what I mean? So it's not always good to have your friends and family members as the one that you're relying on because they might just be enabling you. When you're working with a therapist on your own, they might say, listen, why did you start that fight? Why did you react the way that you do? No, I don't think it was justified that you yelled at him about this. No, I don't think it was okay that you searched through his phone because 10 years ago, your ex-boyfriend cheated on you. You see what I mean? These are things that you could work on in individual therapy. Now, now, in my experience, what I've seen is, is when both people work on themselves, then coming together for something like couples therapy, then works, all right? Because both of them have been trained through different therapeutic processes to have their own coping skills, their own communication skills to work on some things from their past and now, now they're like next level, okay? So it's like individual therapy is like relationships 101 and then couples therapy is like relationships 102. Is that how college works, Tristan? Sure. Okay, cool, we're on track. I have some sick analogies in case you didn't know. All right? So if you're somebody who is in a relationship, like quit trying to force your partner to go to therapy with you or anything like that, like start doing it on your own. What a lot of people get hung up on is, they think that the relationship can't get better until both people are doing it. Your relationship might get better just because you are working on you. Now, will it always work out? No, not always. You might go to therapy and realize that you are in a terrible relationship. That's a possibility as well. But if you're in one of these relationships, there is nothing holding you back from working on yourself. All right? But anyways, I would love to hear from you down in the comments below. Like I said, I'm an advocate for individual therapy. Someone like my mom is big on like couples therapy. Let me know down in the comments below. Like have you tried couples therapy? Do you find individual therapy more beneficial? Do you get more clarity? Whatever you got, let's share our experiences down below in the comments, okay? Anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of video. And a huge, huge, huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You are all amazing. And remember, go check out the new posts on Patreon in case I don't have you on the credits list or anything else, let me know, all right? And if you wanna check out Patreon, click the top right there. Thanks so much for watching. I'll see you next time.