 Catholicism tell us up pretty big one one of the one of the greats. Yes, the greatest block See, here's the thing. Here's the thing with people my age and your age I think we're both gonna you know the truth about Catholicism got uncovered when my teenage brain was Forming right so somebody older a little bit older or even a little bit younger Doesn't I was born at the right time to be like Catholic like you really if you're my age you really got a fucks with religion To really kind of be proud to be a Catholic because when I was 15 is when the news broke that They're raping all the kids. Yep And that the power and corruption goes deeper than you could ever imagine and not only are they raping the kids But then the priests and the powers that be all the way up to the Pope most likely is Protecting the pedophiles in the church and now you're saying and now I'm like, uh-oh. It's spaghetti. Oh, I Didn't know that because my mom very religious even my father very religious and Catholicism it was so ingrained in me. Here's how much Catholicism was ingrained in me Number one. I have Catholic tattoos all over my body still like Catholic cross Catholic scripture I mean literally if I take my shirt off It's like I'm fighting for the army of God like it's you think I'm in Mystic River Like I am a Boston Catholic even though I'm from New York and so in German and German. Yeah, and not in any way Italian Yeah, yeah, there was a point where things got so bad for the Catholics. I'd like I'd rather be a Nazi than a Like I was prouder of that. Yeah, and and so, you know growing up, you know, like with with with all this Catholicism kind of the shift It was so ingrained in me Catholic school Catholic grammar school Catholic high school Catholic college Okay, I grew up in New York Brooklyn, New York I did not meet my first Jewish person till I was 23 years old when I entered graduate school for physical therapy graduate school 23 years old. I met my first Jewish person shout out Dana. Great kid That was the first Jewish person I ever befriended in my life because I was so it was like I was so Catholic I was like the Hasidic Jew of Catholicism like it was my block was Catholic everything was about the church everything was Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic and It's been this major block for me because what is catholic at the core of it Catholicism I think a lot of the guilt, you know, people say, you know Catholic guilt all that that to me comes from. Well, the main thing I think is all you hear in church and all you hear in Catholicism is pretty much whatever you do here on earth is going to dictate where you're placed in the afterlife So if you don't go to church if you masturbate if you have premarital sex if you commit any of these sins Then guess what your chance in heaven goes down down purgatory hell. That's what's happening And you know, so that's where the guilt comes from so I've been struggling with that And I didn't realize how directly correlated that was with my anxiety and my kind of Feelings towards myself because I thought I could give money to you know Growing up I'd give money to a homeless person or do a good deed or do something But if I didn't go to church on Sunday, I'm going to hell And I could never get out of my own. It's also really funny. Yeah as I listen to this the rules are so unclear Yes, like do you know what of mortal sin? I still like so if I masturbate and then confess It doesn't count any I it was never clear to me. It was never clear like you're good Right. Well for me, too, like, you know the mortal sin versus the venial. Yeah, that would be like a more venial sin You know, it's masturbation. Not that be mortal sin is like killing rape those things and those sins mortal sin But not rape in little boys. Right. Those fun mortal sins technically could only be Absolved I believe a mortal sin could only be absolved by a pope or a car. I had to travel I but yeah, you had to travel. Yeah, you you have to you have to get a flight to Italy Yeah, which you know, it's tough for the Catholic back. Yeah, dude We were doing Fung Wa bus lines to Boston. So we were taking a $3 Chinese bus ride. We're not we don't have the money Yeah, we don't got the money. We don't passport. What do you know? Like I remember like I remember being I remember being about 2526 and going to the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia. It's you know, visit a great great thing to do if you're ever around What were you surprised you go? I just I love history So I wanted to go the Eastern State Penitentiary. The reason why I went is it's one of the it's an old-school Quaker prison So the way they have it set up is you know They had the the guards in the middle and then you have these long hallways and those would be the prisoner cells So like Quaker prison Quaker style was like you you your penance is you sit in silence for the rest of your life Like you do not have any interaction. So of course makes people go insane But anyway Al Capone had a cell there, right? And I wasn't even thinking about Catholicism then whatever we're on the tour and We're going down and so this is Al Capone cell whatever so they said oh He actually began to get like really sick here And I don't know that he died in that prison But he died shortly after him leaving that prison and they said but he was on this bed right here where the priest absolved him of all his sins and therefore, you know, he was a devout Catholic towards the end of his life so he was absolved of his sins and crimes and You know believed he was going to heaven and I was like what a bunch of bullshit. Yeah, yeah Yeah, first of all paid off the priest sure, but I was like what a bunch of what a bullshit type of religion Then if this guy who killed so many people murdered people ruined families is now just because at the end of his life He had enough money or enough cash a was famous enough to get a high-ranking priest to absolve him of his sins Now he goes to heaven But I might go to hell because I'm jerking off and having premarital sex because I love Puerto Rican women and I'm horny Hello, hello, and I'm battling my sexuality. So yeah, have I you know fucking maybe gone too close with a guy? Sure You're who's winning by the way, you versus your sexuality so far right now. It's right now It's me but we are wavering Where it's one of those things where when I hit 40 if I'm Lucky enough to hit 40 there might just be a thing where I'm like listen I got to be honest with you the most fun I've had I don't know if you haven't seen the show Please Google it season one of white Lotus the other do you see why I've seen episode one Okay, so the first season of white Lotus the the best character is this Australian gay guy Yeah, I'm like the manager. That's the guy I want to be that's that's the guy who's like that I love that guy and it's like what is that guy doing? He's just being gay He's just having fun. Yep, you know, I'm like I like I found myself identifying with that guy I was like, I don't know that I can eat a guy's ass over a table, which is one of the scenes But I'm like, you know what dude? Can you I can be gay without hooking up with a guy I mean in top in terms of like culturally having a blast. Yeah No one's having more fun dude. I got to be honest with you as I'm getting older I don't know if it's my blood pressure medicine shout out Los Arden I don't know if it's that but I gave a promo code. Oh, sorry. I wish I did. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, not yet I I don't Not that I don't need sex. I mean, it's a human need sure, but I've been so much less horny and like I'm okay having sex with Jasmine once a week once every two It's not that big a deal if we have sex or don't have sex And even when I'm on the road like that whole idea of like who we're in the road I want to jerk off ten times or I want to try to get a girl off the show none of that happens I'm like, no, I'd rather I've done it enough in my life now It's like I'd rather just go hang out with the feature go get something nice to eat right after the show chill out Maybe not even add a show just be done by 9 o'clock. Go enjoy a city be back in the hotel room by 11 And just that's fine because the stress and anxiety Comes with the chase of the women comes with the trying to validate your feelings and validate your security as a man by Being us on the prowl sexually. I'm like, I don't want it's maybe the dumbest scoring system imaginable. Yeah, and it's the only It's not the own it's like that's just a way guys keep score right and it's so destructive Yeah, and I blame and I'm bringing it all back because I blame a lot of that on Catholicism I really do and I blame a lot of all that on my You know me being told I need to go to an old boy Catholic school Me being told that premarital sex is wrong me being told all those things that masturbation is wrong And it creates a pressure that you feel like can only be resolved by yeah sex with it Yeah, by sex with a woman by by by being a bad boy and having premarital sex by right, you know Doing all these things that you know, no, it's funny because I I'm 12 years Catholic school Yep, what it sex would be like without that without that Thing of like this is bad. Yeah, even if it's cuz I'm like far from it now, but it's still The frame is there. Do you know how to practice in Catholic? No, yeah So we're similar in that where yeah, where I even like I was an atheist now I'm not like but I don't believe in Catholic God like I'm like that seems silly but I got both my daughter's baptized only because Get baptized into the Catholic faith this way if you want to make a decision as you get older My girls if they want to and they want to get the rest of the sacraments communion confirmation all that they can do that I this way they're baptized I just didn't want my kids to like want to be Catholic because I wouldn't stop them from that and then be you know 25 years old having to get dunked in a tank So I was like let them just do that as kids But no communion for my older one no penance none of these sacraments And it's caused a bit of an issue with my family who are still devout Catholics And I'm like you guys got to understand my I make sure my daughters have Relationships with God and spirituality and I meditate with my seven-year-old and things and we're just doing things a little different I'm never gonna pressure her she can choose whatever religion she wants because I had Catholicism pounded down my throat Yeah, and I don't know that it did any good for me and I didn't have a choice and I didn't learn about other religions and I was very insulated and You know it was a blessing to be able to come and start to get into comedy and meet all these different types of people When I was you know 25 26 in the West Village, how many Jews have you met by now? Since Dana since Dana now I've met while I Dana there's Sam moral and Ari Shaffir So great. Yeah, and you I thought you and Schultz reduced, but you're not But so so I'll say three and a half But but so Catholicism has been a major block for me because I feel like there is Something good about structure in a religion and I do I will say like it's not a Bad moral structure right in like the the the basics of it like the golden rule It's good. I just told me the golden rule. Yeah, you know, I mean, yeah But the rest just they the bylaws and the thing and then venial and mortal and you're going here And then that's full and you're going and you're going to a different place in the hell It's like, okay, cuz in a way, right? What is church? Church is meditation That's what you're doing like when you're meditating you're kind of getting a connection to your spirit and all that stuff And it's great, but it's like so you're saying if I don't do that Sunday every Sunday then in your system I lose points and I go to hell. And also you want to burn me. Yeah. Yeah, what you want to burn me because I didn't go to fucking a Building. Yeah, it's and listen to a ceremony that I by the time I it was just wrote and I could say I knew it. I had a memory I'm mouthing along in the audience. Yeah, but you want to burn me Yeah, I'm gonna get burned but Al Capone's in heaven with a Tommy gun No, thanks. Hey, did you like that? Did you like that? Yeah, did you like it though? You want more don't want to work would rather watch videos of me grab acid with people first I'll go up here to subscribe and then go up here to watch more clips This is like when the weatherman