 So anyway, before I jump into Q&A, I want to share something with everyone because I think I want to share three reasons why I believe men are less likely to commit. And why I think it's important to get this understanding is because I, and this is going to be from the man's point of view towards a woman. Okay. Let me just say this. The opposite of what I'm about to share can be said true for women and men. But I want to bring this up because this came up in one of my conversations today. And I think it's important to address this. So number one is when you are putting yourself out there to be seen by single eligible people, I think it's incredibly important to create the best representation of yourself, the best representation. Can you expand upon that? Yes. You're not a good writer, you know, read somebody else's profiles or get some help with somebody. There's a lot of places that will help you with those type of things. Yeah. There's services like me, Cyrano and others that will actually create a profile. Now, we're talking about the online dating realm, but when I'm talking about the best presentation of yourself, whether it's the photographs you create, it's also what you present out in the world, you know, right? Okay. Let me give you an example. You know, when we travel, you didn't like the fact that I'd wear a ratty T-shirts, you know, on a plane, you would like, you, you preferred someone that has a little bit more style. Yes. Is that a criticism? I don't mean to throw you into the bus. So I began wearing button-down shirts when we travel. Doesn't he look better? Like telling he doesn't look better wearing shirts. I get it. And I actually like that feeling of looking better. So my point is, it's also, it's interesting. People look at you a little bit differently. Like when I get on a plane now, I'm wearing a sport coat. I can just tell people are looking at me differently and it's absolutely true for women as well. A man will notice a woman who's put a good presentation of herself. Well, in the online dating world, men lie about their heights and women lie about their body type, you know? And at the end of the day, it's about putting an accurate presentation of yourself. Because nothing is worse than meeting someone and then being disappointed when you physically meet them. Yeah. I think a lot of us have been through that. Even though you didn't like my, I didn't look my Photoshop pictures. No, no. You didn't look. I'm just kidding. Well, because he wasn't wearing a sport coat in his pictures. And I don't know if we've talked about this before. Like on profiles, and I think men and women like to do this. They'll go through somebody's profile and they'll pick the picture they like the best and they're like, this is what he looks like. This is the guy that's going to show up. And you know, if he wasn't dressed, you know, he was dressed okay. But I expected the guy in the sport coat because that's the guy that I liked. So again, this is about putting the best presentation of yourself, whether it's online, in person. And a lot of times, you know, women will get dressed up for a date. But I do believe that one of the reasons why so many women don't get approached is right off the bat. They don't put a good presentation on themselves. Number two, and this what I'm about to share is true for men and women alike. They have significant unhealed traumas and wounds, both in childhood and in adult life that causes them to be a little less desirable in the dating marketplace. Let me just expand upon this for a second. The fact is the older we get, the more traumas we can have. And the biggest trauma ball for us in midlife is going through a divorce. That can be a significant emotional trauma. And for many people, I'm going to have to fix that in a second. For many people, it causes them to be less attractive to the opposite sex because they're holding on to a lot of negativity. Well, like you said in one of our other videos is that we would go meet somebody. It's like, like every guy they dated is right behind them. Every guy, every disappointment they have is standing right behind them. And so it's really important to actually do the personal development, self-help and spiritual work to actually be prepared to be in a healthy, happy relationship. I'm going to plug my book for a quick second. But most of you know, I have a book I've written called What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway? A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Help and Spiritual Work. By the way, there's a link below to get a copy of my book. Why? This isn't a dating book. This is a book about being your best self because the more work we do on ourselves and the better prepared we are to be in a relationship, then we can attract a good relationship in our life. But more importantly, we can keep a good relationship in our lives. You know, going back to presenting your best self, it doesn't mean that you have to be the most beautiful woman, but just making yourself look good and approachable and everybody has a nice smile or a nice eyes and stuff. And you meet somebody that then sees that in you and you know, it's a great feeling when you present yourself a certain way and they see you, they see what you did to present that way. Do you remember watching that? I remember watching the Friends episode where Chandler couldn't smile. Oh yeah. Okay. But folks, I want to give you a quick trick on how to create a great smile for a photograph because the reality is, most of us when we try to smile, it doesn't look good on camera and this is something I learned from a model 30 years ago and she said, when you're ready to take a photograph, chuckle. Now, it feels awkward because you're moving a little bit, but the reality is the camera catches the enthusiasm, which gives you that Julia Roberts, Tom Cruise kind of smile. Not that I have one of those. I mean, you're closer to that than I am, but it's creating that energy. So right now get your girlfriends, get your friends to take a photograph, use their smartphone, just take some chuckling like this. And right there and you really will have a better presentation of yourself because people who are smiling in their photographs or just in the real, in real life are more approachable. Yeah. No duck lips. No duck lips. No duck lips. Yeah. Okay. The third thing, and this is really sad for me to share, but I do believe that today it is so much easier for men to just simply hook up with women. And because of that, because the ease of getting sex is almost, the barrier to entry is so low that men are less likely to commit based on that. What are your thoughts? You're not a guy, but. Not a guy. Thank God. No, I think it takes the right woman to look, if you want to hook up, go hook up. Have fun. It's your life. However, if you're really looking for a relationship and you're interested in this person, take a little time to really see maybe you're just infatuated with what he looks like. I don't know. Okay. So we did in the early stages radical honesty. Yeah. We did. And we talked about a lot of stuff in three days that I wouldn't talk to somebody probably in two years. Okay. And our situation was unique at the same time. Radical honesty. And again, this is something I teach in my private coaching, you can get the link below to schedule a call with me is radical honesty is laying your cards on the table sooner rather than later. So you, you will weed out the guys who are in it for the short run much sooner. And then what happens is you actually become a magnetic attractor for someone who's more likely to want to be in relationship. When you stand in your power, when you know your standards and more importantly, you are in the best place in your life because when you're in your best place in your life, I believe that's the timing that creates the opportunities. Yeah. Confidence have come through. Yes. Well said. Your confidence comes through. Your confidence comes through when you're in your power and I want to address that really quickly because one thing that impressed me about you is you are absolutely in your power. I could tell you, you, you weren't clingy, you weren't, um, you weren't like, oh, you're trying too hard or anything like that. You just simply made effort, which I really appreciate it, but I could tell you never gave your power away to me. Oh, I never gave my power away to anybody. Exactly. Did I give you my power now? No. No. Well, I think that's one of the things we, what, what I think makes us, what I feel is unique is we retain our sovereignty, our self-worth, our self-esteem. And again, sadly, women who give their power away, men treat those women like low hanging fruit. They take advantage of them. Yeah. They take advantage of them. And so those are some of the reasons why men are less likely to commit. And by the way, ladies, you have every, you, from your perspective, you have a lot of reasons why you wouldn't even want to date someone or even entertain a guy. I get it. It's both ways. I'm just sharing with you, again, it's critically important. Oh, you know, one of the things I didn't address in this, I also think age discrimination begins to happen after age 45 for men and women alike. Well, everybody, yeah, so everybody lies on their profiles about how they are. And some people lie and it's fine because they look whatever the age they said they were, but then you get the ones that, that don't look anything like their age. Or they post a picture, 10 years younger and that sort of thing, but it's, but the discrimination is so men discriminate women based on the fact that a lot of men from a physical standpoint want younger women. Now they may want to, it doesn't mean they'll get it, but more importantly, a lot of men think women their own age are so bitter and jaded that they go, well, let me just find a younger woman because she's going to be less bitter and jaded. And women look at men their own age going, I don't want to be a nurse or a purse to a guy. So I think age discrimination is for both genders that happens. And this makes it more critically important. Again, I'm going to end on this particular note for this section, be your best self, work on yourself and just recognize that it takes time to actually get to know someone from a heart centered level. So practice radical honesty and that's my invitation for you all. I agree. All right, folks, I think we're going to wrap up here today. First off, I want to thank you all so much for joining us. If you like the content on this channel, please hit the like button, please share this video, please subscribe. Also please tell your friends as well. Also, if you need some support, check out the links to a free discovery call with me. Check out my group called Midlife Love Mastery. If you want to follow me on Instagram, you can go there. All the books I recommend are listed in the description in the show notes as well. And I think this will be a great place to wrap up this video. And since I'm not by myself, I'm with my partner. I'm going to give you a big, gigantic shot to Bear Hug. And thank you everyone for all the wonderful messages. There's just so many. We can't get to all of them, but thank you. Thanks everyone. Have a great evening. Bye now.