 Hi, roryn i'n gweithio ar y cyfnodol. Ac i ddweud hynny, bod yna'n gweithio'n gofyn o'r colli, Bob Cook, o gyntaf o ddaeth yn ymwneud yn psychothebeth. Daeth hynny o gyntaf o ddaeth yn ymwneud, mae'n gweithio ar y llei, yn gofyn yn ei glas, a'r bydd ymwneud yn cyfwyr. Yn ymwyno, Bob, yna'n rhai ddwygen, yn gyfnodol cyfnodol, yn gweithio'r Gweithio'r Ysgol. Rwy'n gallwch ein bod ni'n un. A wnaeth ei un o'n digwydd. RAFF Z wnaeth ar ôl? Rwy'n gallwch yn ein, i wnaeth ei wnaethwch yn un i wnaethu. Y gwaith hynny yn fath yw'r cyfei linei am gyllidol flodol, a'n ei wnaeth y lle mae'r cyfnod o'r holl? I wnaeth chi'n gweithio ein bod ni'n iawn. fel y byddwch chi'n cael ddoeithio. Felly, mae'r byddwch ei f loaniaid, ddim yn ei hyd yn ei fyddfynol. Fyddwn yn dadlu byddwch y byddwch y byddwch â y byddwch mae'r byddwch. Mae'r byddwch newydd yn y lleol. Dyna, yma'r yma peirgofyr ar y cyfle yma yw fynd ar gyfer y rhai o'i fyddfa. Felly'r byddwch yma eich bodhech. Y gwail gennych, going the lot is that your garden life yourself is a bag out of my stuff as you at least I believe that we all born in having a good on the any diversion from them is done after we go. So how does that influence your clinical practice? Start belief system. Well it influences me in that first of all I know it, so it's knowledge that's So it's a round you. Yeah and therefore there's no fear and I think that's a big part of it. I think if I'm working with clients that often happen now But when I work in general practice I work with one or two clients so it's a very dark kind of side-stem in terms of behaviors. And that was very useful, through supervision through you know, collaboration with other therapists ac rydych, dwi'n gweithio yng Nghymru sydd yn ogylchedd. Mae'r ddweud. Baeth tych chi'n meddwl gyda'r cyfrant ar gyfer y dreflwyd? Nid yn cael ei cyfrant a wedi'i gydag eu cyfrant yn gyfrannu'r llawdd. Felly dywedodd i'w cyfrant, o myd i newid y bydd. ond yw'r ffordd, mae'n bwysig i'r ffordd y clywed, ond mae'n ffordd yn ffordd y bydd yn ffordd. Mae'n ffordd, mae'n ffordd yn ffordd, mae'n rhan o'r ffordd, ond mae'n ffordd, mae'n ffordd o'r ffordd o'r rhan o'r ffordd. Absolutely. So how, what's your touch down for working with clients with a kind of interesting question. I really like that quote by the way. Now transactional analysis which is causing my yes for my home in terms of psychotherapeutic belief system Eric byrn coined a phrase which I like and I think Mae'r ddadwch wedi bod yn ddwylogrhef yng Nghymru yn siaradau a'r ddadwch yn cael ei ddweud y gallwn. Mae'r ddodol iawn, ond mae'r ddodol iawn, ond mae'r ddodol iawn yn cael ei ddodol iawn. felly wedi bod yn amlion i'r amlion. Yn y peth, mae'n ymddir iawn o'r cyfrifol gyda cyfrifol. So, hefyd wedi bod y gallwn gweld o 4 cyfrifol. Mae'n amlion i'w amlion. Mae'n amlion i'w'n amlion, mae'n amlion i'w amlion i'w meddwl. Mae'n amlion i'w meddwl, ac mae'n amlion i'w meddwl. mae'n dwi'n gweld i'r gael ddafodd ddechrau. Ac y tiddor, y ddafodd ar gael ddechrau, mae'n ddweud i'r gael? Felly dyna. Mae'n meddwl i'r ddweud datblygu dweud yn ddafodd dweud i ddweud yn ddweud i'r ddweud, ond mae'n ddweud i'r ddweud i'r ddweud. Mae'n ddweud i'r ddweud i'r ddweud i ddweud i ddweud Well, I try to keep to that philosophical stance that I'm okay, you're okay, which is another way of looking at that quote you said. Yes. However, or stroke and, I think most of us struggle with that, especially in the areas of dark, that's what you're talking about. So I remember when I was working with a scribe who turned out to be a pedophile. And we were talking about some of these urges and some of the destructive parts of himself, some of his self-radiolation, his masochistic and sadistic parts of himself. And I struggled, I know I did, to keep him okay in that process. I mean, theoretically, I understand what you're talking about in a way, which is a talking about separating out the behaviours from the human being. The sin from the sinner. Yeah. In the moment, though, that wasn't so easy for me. Sure. So I like the idea of thinking about these concepts in terms of grounding me. And of course, the other part of this is our own histories. Yes. And, as you said, there's always darkness at night. And there was always flavours of what we're talking about. And often the dark sides of our own history gets evoked by the dark sides which come forward in the human condition. So I will take these two things to my own therapy, take these things to supervision. Absolutely. Reflect on the process myself. And if I find it to, I don't know if difficult is what I would, but yeah, I would say difficult or get sterk or I find I'm acting out for my character transfers, I would refer on. Yes. You know, I think that's the big challenge. You know, when we talk about transfers, we're of course talking about reaching in to your history, to my history or to whoever's history it is. And seeing things in the client that may have happened to you or made me mind you of something that's happened to you. And that is a very tough boundary to work with. Certainly clients who've got very dark kind of sides to them. And I think it's quite easy to let fear rule in the therapy room. And I'd agree with you, Bob. I think that if that comes up, it's definitely one for supervision. And if it's pressing, and it's one of those that's around for you between the sessions, then definitely one for your own personal therapy, because it's probably triggered something within you that's dormant. The reason why I like the transaction analysis model is because that personality model talks about three distinct states of being. The parent, the adult, the child. When the parents of our histories or internalised parents get a vote, good or bad. Yes. Our unconscious history or unedited history, quite like that phrase, our child of your state. And when you're an the adult acting and responding to the here and now processes. So, of course, as a psychotherapist, you need to stay as much as you can executively in the adult ego state. So once there's a slippage to either ego state, that's a signal that you're in transference. Yes. Where you're judging or you're in fear. Yes, that's right. And once you get to be aware of that, you then need to use that as a signal to not only internal reflection, but I said earlier on in the video to take it to supervision or therapy. Yes. So I hope that's been useful for you, the viewers, if you're a student and you're wondering how to work with clients when they have a real dark side and that could be suicidal ideation, not a very popular phrase. People don't want to consider it, it's a bit clinical. Who don't want to exist in the world who feel there's no value in their life and don't want to exist. And maybe people who have behaviours that are abhorrent, societally abhorrent, but we still work with them. You know, if that becomes overwhelming, then yes, certainly touched on for me is I'm a human, nothing human is alien to me, the idea that they're just as human as I am. But to consider that as humans we also fail sometimes to be able to put that fine theory into practice. That's right, and you know when we're talking about the human condition, and particularly when talking about darkness, there's a scale of darkness from light grey, densely dark, concretely darkness, from what you can't see. So when we're talking about, let's say, different shades of grey, and we're talking about the dark sides of feelings that most clients don't want to go towards, like desolation, a feeling of total unworthiness, feeling not accounted for, feeling they have no value, feeling that they are a sense of being ignored, a sense of alienation. These are all darker sides of feelings people resist going to in high magnitude. Yes. Now as a therapist, you need to be able to go to those places with people. Absolutely. Now as an interesting one here, because when we're talking about what enabling yourself to go to those places with people, that means you need to be able to have some reflection on your own darker places so that you can separate out between what is their desolation and maybe your own fear of some of these deeper feelings like desolation of your own self. Now that's really important, otherwise you can get caught up in a symbiosis, a place where you're totally merged with a client and you both end up in the darkness trying to find a way out. Yes, and get completely lost in that client's sense of depth. So by definition, we can talk about the real, real dark pitch side of all of us and we can talk about things which we all know about a feeling of not being valued, a feeling not being taken account of, a feeling of not being loved, which we all know at certain levels and we need to be able to go to those places with our clients so they can feel that somebody is with them on a journey, somebody has some sense of what Coher talked about who was the originator of self psychology in the early 60s, twin ship, the idea that somebody has travelled the same road and that is an extraordinarily powerful concept, the idea of twin ship and psychotherapy. So getting to know yourself, reflecting on yourself is really important. Now the thing we haven't talked about which is just important in this conversation is lightness. Now many of the clients I see when we're talking about joy, you know we're talking about things like joy, joy, happiness, the ability to love yourself, compassion, many of the very concepts which we're going to put in the light bracket if you like. Yes. The majority of my clients struggle with even seeing the lightness, let alone allowing the lightness in. Yes. If you ask me one of the basic concepts of lightness that I work with, with most of my clients is helping the person love themselves or finding some compassion with themselves. Absolutely, absolutely. The same with you? Absolutely, I mean it comes up so often in therapy where clients have lost the ability to love themselves, they punish themselves. To find that lightness of themselves. Yes, absolutely, and part of the therapist's job is to show them the whole of themselves. Yes, to find their own inner peace, to find the ability to be compassionate with themselves because unless they find that part of themselves, how can they show compassion and love to other people in an authentic way? Absolutely. So when we talk about lightness we have to talk about the other side of the spectrum and for me, just as with darkness, you know, people struggle with me every day, struggles past the wrong word, they face their own struggles about finding their own inner lightness. So part of the job I think as a psychotherapist is to enable person to really get in touch with their light side. Absolutely. And that is just as powerful a process in perhaps the same or different way as going to their darker sides. They go together. Yes. Like you can't have dark without light. That's right. And of course we know they're worried about compassion, love, joy. They are enriched in the sun, the light. So we need to take people to the lighter side or often go into the darkness or the dark places to find the light. You know, they go together don't they? Yeah. And sometimes I don't want to kind of minimise what you just said, but sometimes as a therapist, sometimes I feel I'm the one with the torch and shining it initially for both of us. Also we can find that glimmer of light at the end of this dark tunnel and the client can walk through. And that's at that point and they walk through into the light. For me that's where the therapy, that's the journey's end sometimes, where they go off and they find that acceptance in themselves, that self-love, which is supporting of who they are. All of the dark ones and the light. Wonderful metaphor of torch. And of course they have to realise that you've gotten torch wish stone in the first place. Yes, indeed. Yes, they have to see the beam of light. That's it. That's a job in itself, isn't it? Sure. But I love the concept of a light and darkness because they go together for me. They do. Such wonderful concepts to talk about. Absolutely. Well, thank you, Bob, for sharing that with us. I've benefited from hearing that and I hope that people are watching. And as always, on these occasions, thank you for watching. Oh, thank you. I've got a final comment, though. Oh, yes. I switch off. And how many therapists does it take to change a light, Bob? Bob, I don't know how many therapists it takes to change a light. One if they want to change. And then the light will come on. So change and light and dark. They all go together, but thank you. And on that existential bombshell, thank you for watching.