 Hello family, welcome to another Narc Survival Live video. In this one we're going to be talking about how the narcissist is suffering without you. Because yes, believe it or not, that is the truth. Despite what you may see on social media, they manipulated you, they abused you, they lied to you, they future faked, they gaslighted you, and then they discarded you all of a sudden and triangulated you with their new source. You really think a happy person is going to do any of that? Of course not. Happy people do not go around manipulating and abusing people. They're not going to do that at all. In fact, when you are in a higher state of consciousness and awareness, you're not even thinking about stuff like that. You're not even thinking about how you can harm someone or elevate yourself at their expense. Because you don't need to elevate yourself if you're already high up, if you're already elevated and you're feeling good about yourself. So everything that they did to you, it really comes from their own trauma. And believe it or not, they don't even have to do anything to you directly. Just being around that type of energy, it's enough to wear you out. Because they're so negative and pessimistic. It's like they're on the brink of suicide. That's how bad they are. The only thing keeping them afloat is you, where they can use you to regulate their emotions. Because that's what you are to the narcissist. You're just an external regulator. They can't regulate their own emotions from within, so it's like they have to be wired up to you and you're like this external life support machine to make them feel better about themselves because they can't regulate themselves from within because they abandoned who they really got a long time ago and created a false character. So they can't generate any power or energy from within. They feel miserable and depressed all of the time. And I'm sure you will know that already because you were dealing with them. You were in a relationship with them. You've seen all of the outbursts, all of the rage, all of the bitterness and resentment. You've seen exactly what they're like. And it's like the only time they even seem like they're happy is when you're down, when you're miserable. When they can hurt you. When they can make you feel sad or depressed, angry or upset. When they can get a reaction out of you, in that moment they feel a bit better. But even then that's nothing in comparison to how you feel. And I can tell you that however you feel following an interaction or engagement with a narcissist that's typically how they want you to feel because they projected their emotions onto you. But even then when a person tries to deplete you and bring you down and I know in that moment it feels horrible. You really just don't feel good about yourself at all. But no matter how bad that may feel it's nothing compared to how they felt before they did that to you. They try to bring you down to their level but they never can. And you will know that because if they did bring you down to their level then you would be doing what they're doing. You would be getting mad you would be lashing out at people as well. But you don't because you're knowing near their level of misery and pain of childhood trauma that they have never resolved. And that doesn't just go away just because they've left you. It goes with them wherever they go. Remember all of those months or years you spent with them they were miserable all of that time. And it was so easy for you to be happy and they just couldn't deal with that they had to bring you down. And I know of myself especially now I've built up a lot of resilience where I'm able to snap back to my natural character very quickly. And of course I deal with narcissists throughout the day. We see them in day to day life. They can be anywhere. And yet as you can probably see in my daily videos I still manage to get on cue with so much energy, passion and enthusiasm because this is my natural state. So even when I have to deal with narcissists I can return to my natural happy and carefree attitude very quickly as soon as I get some time to myself. But it's not like that for narcissists. If you're not with them right now just picture in your head remember what they were like how argumentative, disagreeable, rageful, pessimistic, defeatist, gloomy. Remember how they were and I can guarantee if they were with you right now if you could go back to them they would be the exact same way. Nothing would have changed at all. They would be exactly the same. And yet I know for myself with narcissists that I've dealt with in the past I've grown so much since then. I've built so much in my character and I remember a few years ago I've talked about this how I used to be very depressed after dealing with certain narcissists and smear campaigns to where I even became suicidal I haven't been through anything like that since then I've been consistently happy and motivated pretty much every day. Of course I do have ups and downs there are times when I do feel sad but never depressed nothing like that I always feel motivated sometimes I feel tired I'm sure we all do from time to time and that's normal that's a part of life and when that happens it makes us appreciate our good days even more but it's not like that with narcissists despite what they may display to you they are miserable 24 hours a day the only thing that brings them joy is putting other people down elevating themselves at their expense but I can tell you that narcissists they are always miserable and they are suffering without you because it's not so easy for them to find someone else like you someone who is always there for them someone who had the ability to regulate their emotions because to do that a lot of it comes from our empathy our ability to feel what they feel to understand and share their feelings and experience yes as I've said before only 1-2% of the world's population are empaths we are very rare so what are the odds that they're going to find someone else who is like us they typically run into grandiose narcissists when they're chasing a dream and they're trying to be superior to you that's typically what happens and when that happens they experience a lot of arguments and disagreements a lot of fights they end up feeling even more depleted because then that person will be draining them as well so of course they will be suffering without you they're not going to find someone else who can regulate them in the way that you do remember how dependent on you they were as their external regulator as their emotional punching bag their emotional tampon remember how dependent on you they were so without you of course it's going to cause them to go back to their regular depleted state where they're miserable where they're suffering that's just how it's going to be for them and that is why of course they will try to come back they will hoover you and every time they try to come back every time they make contact with you it should just reveal to you how dependent on you they are as their source of supply and how they can't find anyone else like you no matter what they may portray to you because if that was the truth you would never see or hear from them ever again they would never even bother you but they do because they can't find someone else to regulate their emotions in the way that you can no one else can do it for them like you do and that is why they keep coming back to you and when they're not around you of course yes they feel miserable they're suffering because then they have to reflect on themselves and their own feelings of how they hate themselves and how they feel like they're not enough that's where they latch on to you that's where they try to attach to you that's where they try to get you to attach to them because they don't feel like they're enough on their own they feel incomplete they don't feel like a complete person they can't regulate their emotions from within and they use you to inflate their ego and boost their self-esteem at your expense to where it makes them feel powerful and in control when otherwise they would feel very insecure and they would have low self-esteem so they use you as this tool to compensate for that sometimes they may have new supply and they may display that to you that they have moved on that they have found someone else but that person isn't going to be able to regulate them in the way that you can because you were really there for them you listened to them you cared about what they had to say you fully absorbed it like an emotional sponge most people do not even have the ability to do that I mean that's why we have YouTube shorts that's why we have TikTok because most people have a very short attention span they get bored very easily they're easily distracted you were very attentive with the narcissist your eyes were always on them your ears were always open listening that's very rare it's very difficult for them to find someone else like that to find another empath and when you really realise and accept that you realise just how rare and special you are that's when you will know that no matter what they do no matter where they go or who they're with yes they will be suffering without you because they're not going to be able to find anyone else who's as attentive or empathetic someone else who has a good attention span who absorbs their emotions like a sponge someone who takes on their pain most people aren't going to want to deal with that they're not going to have such a high tolerance a high threshold like you do and once you're no longer there for them they're going to miss that because they became so dependent on it they were addicted to you that's why they try to trauma-bond you to them they try to make you dependent on them because they're dependent on you they can't live without you they can't survive emotionally and then later on they even try to stalk you because they have this obsession and why do people have obsessions they have obsessions if what they're seeking is very rare if it's scarce if it's abundant if it's in high supply and it's everywhere why would you become obsessed with it? you wouldn't because if there's one person who has the specific traits or qualities that you're looking for or personality or whatever it is that you like you wouldn't worry about it because you're going to replace that person very easily they become heavily dependent and obsessed with you because you're irreplaceable you're very rare, you're very special that is why they stalk you that is why they hoover you because they can't find anyone else like you it's either you or it's nothing there is no one else don't listen to them or what they say or display to you they're not going to tell you that they're not going to help you to realize your worth they're going to manipulate and gas like you into making you think that you're nothing special they can find someone else like you very easily when the truth is that they can't they just don't want you to know how great you really are how much value you bring to them but they're never going to be able to replace you they're never going to find anyone else like you that's never going to happen you may not think that because of how they treated you they try to damage and destroy you because they just take us for granted they don't appreciate us even while they're using us for all that we have and as Jack, the diagnosed co-et narcissist that I did an interview with a few weeks ago as he said in that interview with me he would go from one situation that was better for him into another one that was worse while being fully aware that that next situation was worse and you couldn't let it go because of his pride and ego it's the same thing with these narcissists they come around you, they get involved with you and then they move on to another situation knowing fully well that it is worse and many of you think how can they not know they do know they know that they were better off with you but because of their pride and ego it won't let them accept it they don't want to give you the satisfaction they don't want you to know because then that because they view you as a mirror they view all people as mirrors and then it reflects back to them that they need you so that means they're not enough, they're no good because it's this black and white mentality as well so they want to avoid that and they do that by moving on to another situation and because it's at the beginning they can get that validation that admiration because the next person doesn't know what they're actually dealing with but even then they are still suffering without you because they haven't got you there to regulate their emotions and of course that's why they triangulate you with a new source because then they're still using you as their negative source of supply they're still getting your attention through punishing you but guess what, believe it or not they settle for negative supply if they had it their way they would just love bomb you all the time and continue to get positive supply but they can't 317 live viewers please hit the thumbs up button down below if you're finding this video helpful it'll take you two seconds and it will help the YouTube algorithm to get this message out there to other survivors so please do that to show your support but yeah they settle for negative supply not because that's what they prefer this is why they go back and forth between the love bombing and the devaluation they always bring back the false character, why? if they're satisfied with the love bombing and using the false character to where they feel attractive and desirable if that is good enough why would they ever devalue you? why would they ever abuse you? because clearly they do prefer it just try it, just try complimenting a narcissist and observe their reaction they can't resist it it doesn't matter how long you've been with them it's still very potent just try complimenting them and watch their reaction they will eat it up, they will love it they cannot resist it if there's one thing a narcissist loves more than anything else it's compliments, praise, admiration this is why they're so focused on their image this is why they have to get the best job they have to live in the right area they have the right connections have a source of supply that's attractive, wealthy, powerful intelligent because if there's one thing they love the most it's positive supply, admiration which they tried to get from you in the beginning because that's what they prefer but then they couldn't get that from you anymore because you began to figure them out you started to catch on so then they had to settle for negative supply and even when it looks like they've moved on and they're triangulating you with their new source they're just trying to punish you again they are settling for negative supply they're settling for that they're getting the worst of you they had the best of you in the beginning they had all that good stuff now they have to settle for the crumbs rather than the loaf they have to settle for less and of course that does make them even more angry even more full of rage where they will just lash out of you even more then they will really want to get to you because they know what they're missing they know what they had before and they can't get that back but they want it they want it really bad and that's why they will try to bring back the false character and love bomb you again if you are still susceptible especially when they come back with a hoover and they'll try to make you jealous of what they have with the new source because again they're trying to gain your admiration but instead they have to settle for negative supply these are all signs that they are still suffering without you because you've got to think if someone's really moved on and they're happy and they're with someone else why would they even be thinking about you why would they be seeking to punish you they would just forget about you they wouldn't even bother but they do they flaunt their new source on social media they have to make you aware of it because they're not really happy they're trying to get reactions out of you and that's all they're really trying to do and it's because they know that they had a better situation with you you gave them better treatment they're not going to find anyone else like you an empath someone who validated them you with their eyes and their ears they could live vicariously through you and get you to filter everything through them that is the ultimate source of supply you absorbed their emotional pain like a sponge you were their life source they were hooked on you like a life support machine you were keeping them alive so of course they are going to miss that just think why were they so hooked on you to begin with remember all those hours they spent unloading their trauma and pain onto you and these pointless arguments that never seemed to end which they were using to regulate their emotions remember how important that was to them so you really think they can just move on and not need that anymore when they needed it that much back then of course not thank you for the donation Eno I appreciate it all donations are welcome no matter how small you can donate through the super chat, the live chat super thanks in the comment section or through my paypal it's paypal.me-survivor these narcissists are suffering without you and that is why they're so obsessed that is why they become stalkers because they have this blackaway mentality where they can't feel happy unless they think you're down, you're miserable after everything they did to you because that's what they try to do they try to leave you in this pit of misery before they leave hoping that you'll stay there even after they're gone and that's why they can't stand to see you moving on they don't want to see you progressing and being happy because they view people as marriage so that reflects back to them and reminds them that they're not really happy because you have to be down for them to be up if you're up then they feel like they're down you are their reference point in terms of their happiness there can never be a time where you are both happy it does not work that way with narcissists you have to be down so that they can be up and that's how you know that it's fake even when it seems that they're elevated it's not real because if it was real if they were actually happy and they actually moved on they would have cared about you before they left because you can't just not care about someone and then move on and be happy it doesn't work that way which is how you should know that it's all a lie I mean how can they be happy they don't even have an effect of empathy which means that they lack the ability to feel what another person feels they can't share your feelings they can't understand your experience or anyone else's so how can someone like that be happy because real happiness yes it may be generated from within but we really experience happiness through giving and sharing and you may notice that when you've experienced a lot of pain, trauma and tension from dealing with a narcissist it's like no matter what you do you try to generate it from within it doesn't seem to make much difference until you extend that energy and you give, you share with another person then you feel happy but it's not like that with narcissists it's never genuine and you should know that from dealing with them because they were never genuine with you thanks for the donation Leanne Swift I appreciate all of your support but honestly these narcissists are always miserable they have so many addictions one of their main addictions is the people but as you may know your narcissist may have been addicted to tobacco, alcohol recreational drugs shopping, gambling, sex, pornography just any form of escapism the last thing they ever wanted to do was to reflect on themselves they couldn't be accountable for anything so of course yes, they are suffering without you it's all an illusion just like when you first met them when they first targeted you they seemed like they were this happy, easy going character because they just reflected your own qualities and virtues back to you but then with time you began to see the real them they began to devalue you and put you down they were always miserable they were always oppositional but that was only in the home that was behind closed doors and then you'd go out in public and they would be a completely different person you could be going to a restaurant and the entire time in the car they would be using you and then as soon as you get there you're out in public then they act completely different after they've put you down and elevated themselves at your expense they've used you as this external regulator to regulate their emotions and then they were a completely different character in public they're like chameleons, they're shape shifters but even then it's just fake because how can they abuse you in the car and then that this happy person in public in a restaurant, how is that possible? and you look at them the way they're interacting with the waiter or whoever it may be and it's like how can you be that way with them and then you do these things to me and you never want to talk about it you never want to confront it I mean if that's not the definition of fake I don't know what it is because a real person someone who's connected, they're empathetic they're actually happy for real they don't want to see anyone else down how we treat people is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves so if you want to know how someone feels about themselves observe how they're treating you or someone else because they may be treating you good like in the beginning in the love-bombing phase then watch how they treat a waiter at the restaurant they may get frustrated, they may get mad they may act condescending because they're not really happy how you do one thing is how you do everything how people treat other people are direct reflections of how they feel about themselves so they can't be any exclusion it can't be like they're treating you good but treating someone else bad or treating you bad but treating someone else good that's very contradictory it doesn't make any sense how can they be kind to you but abusive to someone else or abusive to you but kind to someone else and yet they're still happy that doesn't add up happy people do not do that happy people treat others with love and respect and this is a psychological fact it's not even psychological theory it's a fact hurt people hurt people so yes they are miserable they are suffering without you and they were suffering with you as well they're just eternally suffering and thank you for the donation there Angela Nicoletti if you've just joined please hit the thumbs up button down below to show your support thank you and let me know in the live chat down below if you have any questions I will read them out and respond to them I'm just looking through the live chat now Princess Lucia asks how do I know if he's really a narcissist well there are nine traits that are in the DSM-5 of personality disorders and you can research the nine traits on Google if you want a full description of that I mean the basic description of a narcissist is really someone who is self-absorbed they lack empathy they're exploitative they may be arrogant, grandiose they will have a strong sense of entitlement I mean these are the typical signs to look for but even then that could be someone with narcissistic traits but either way does it really matter because you've got to think even someone who's a narcissist with full-blown narcissistic personality disorder that still excludes covert narcissism covert narcissism is not included in MPD and even if the person is just toxic or they're just abusive it's harmful to you and if they don't acknowledge that, if they don't care that's all you really need to know you just need to know that this person is hurting me and they don't care that means they're really messed up they're sadistic so I hope that helps Princess Lucia Elivaret77 asks how to find others or someone to help I've been in isolation for eight years wow that's a very long time I'm sorry to hear that it can be difficult to find people who really understand I mean in all honesty most people in this world they're kind of more concerned about their own interests they're not really emotionally available in that way to be there for someone because just look at the world today a lot of people are going through a lot of things so it can be hard to find someone who will listen and who will be there for you and while we should validate ourselves I can completely understand if you've been through trauma you've been through abuse you want someone there who is going to listen to you and understand what I recommend is to seek a licensed therapist or coach you can go to www.bear2help.com slash NARC survivor to book a session with a licensed therapist or you can book with me by going to my website NARC survivor.co.uk or you could even communicate with someone in one of my videos through the comments section I'm sure there's plenty of other people who are in the same boat who are feeling isolated and they just want to meet or talk to someone and there's nothing wrong with that but do be careful as well because believe it or not some narcissist, especially COVID narcissist may think that they are victims or they may act like victims in order to gain sympathy and attention and they may pose as victims of narcissistic abuse even on my channel and in the comments section so you all need to be aware of that if you do decide to communicate with each other of course I would assume that most people who watch my videos are not narcissists but it's definitely something to be aware of genie major asks what about going ghost on a severely narcissistic sister I mean with family it's a very complicated situation especially if it's someone you live with with a ghost in and going on contacts it's a very difficult topic I can't just advise someone to do that you do need to speak to a licensed therapist or coach and explain your individual situation before you take any further action because if you are their supply and you just cut it off you don't know how they might react they may seek to destroy you thanks for the donation genie major I appreciate it one only says three years relationship with a knock it was the hardest thing I ever experienced I was in love I never go attention to the flying monkeys I was blind in love but once he abused me in the streets so sorry to hear about your experience there one only but yes it is very difficult being involved with a narcissist and of course with flying monkeys as well then you're likely dealing with multiple narcissists or multiple people with personality disorders and it's like one narcissist is bad enough but if you're dealing with a large-scale smear campaign and you've got tens or hundreds of narcissistic people who are all harassing you that can be a very difficult experience to go through and you do need to be very strong I mean typically I believe only a super empath would be able to go through that and still come out with their sanity because most people will likely get broken down with something on such a large scale but even just one narcissist that is extremely difficult to deal with I mean they are suffocating and encompassing it's like you just can't be yourself around them but yeah those of you who have been discarded by a narcissist and they're flaunting their new source it looks like they live in their best life trust me it is all a lie they can't just not care about you and then move on and be happy with someone else it doesn't work that way happy people do not do that how a person treats you is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves as within so without and how we do one thing is how we do everything if they couldn't show compassion to you they're not going to show genuine compassion to anyone else and that means they just can't be happy the closest they got to experience any form of happiness which even then is nothing in comparison to what we feel that was with you that emotional regulator that emotional sponge and that's why they were so dependent on you and of course they're not going to feel that way without you that's why they are the way that they are their bottom feeders, their leeches, their parasites their emotional vampires for a reason I mean just think about that if someone could be happy on their own or without you then why would they an energy vampire a parasite, a leech around you why do they have to deprive you why do they have to rob you of your energy if they have their own that wouldn't make any sense people rob you of your energy because they feel depleted that's why they have to sink their teeth into you they're seeking something that they do not already possess they're trying to get that from you your energy, your power your love, your optimism but they can't do anything with that they have a void that can never be filled so it just goes straight in and then it leaks out they can't sustain it and that is why they constantly have to be around you and it's why they keep coming back to you another donation warrior for you says God bless you Chris, I appreciate your advice thank you, God bless you too people are very generous for the donations today and I really appreciate it it means a lot thank you all for the support I hope this message has inspired and motivated you I'd encourage you to continue on your healing journey because I don't want anyone to worry or lose any sleep over their selfish self-absorbed narcissist they're not worth losing any sleep over trust me, they're very miserable people and you are so much better off without them you really are so I'd just like to thank you all my beautiful YouTube family for joining me on another Narc Survival Live video I'm going to go and get some rest now and continue working on my next video we do have a video premiere beginning in five hours so hopefully you can join us there but until then thank you all please show your support down below by giving this video a thumbs up it will help the YouTube algorithm to get this very important message out there to other survivors who may need to see it I've done my parts by bringing this message to you now please do your part by giving this video a thumbs up down below and remember what you give out that energy that you put out into the universe by liking this video and doing your part that energy will come back to you tinfold it really well that is the law of cause and effect that is our positive karma and it will take you just two seconds to hit the thumbs up button show your support help to bring this message to other survivors as well let's all work together to help each other and make this world better more healthier and let me know what you think about what I've said in this video down below in the comment section I am reading your comments every day and I try to respond to as many as I can hit the subscribe button and click all notifications so that you will be notified when I upload a new video and if you would like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me you can go to my website to book it is knocksurvivor.co.uk and also don't forget to follow me on my Instagram it is knocksurvivor.co.uk I'm uploading new pictures and videos of my travels to my stories on there and you can also DM me whenever you like I will respond it is knocksurvivor.co.uk on Instagram so thank you all for joining me on another knocksurvivor live video I do appreciate you all and as always I look forward to speaking with you in another live video very soon