 Welcome to Sister Power, I'm Sharon Thomas Yarbrough. The topic for this segment, Coronavirus Beyond Surviving to Thriving, Lessons and Blessings. So what's the role of Sister Power doing this strange in different times? Today, Sister Power special guest, Dr. Patricia Jones-Blessman will be sharing ideas worth spreading. Licensed clinical psychologist from Chicago offers insights into the COVID-19 pandemic, discussing when a traumatic event occurs we are challenged to grow, change and adapt. With over 30 years of experience as a consultant and administrator of mental health problems, her vocational experience encompasses a diverse array of clinical settings, public and private, private and not-for-profit as well as academic institutions. Although now retired, Dr. Blessman maintains a limited consultation and private practice. Patricia, welcome to Sister Power. Well, thank you Sharon. It's so good to be talking with you. You know, you're such so inspirational and thought-provoking and just, you know, just it's just wonderful to be to have some intellectually stimulating conversations. So I know this is going to be a powerful segment here and I'm just ready to dive in. Where should we begin? Oh, I just, I just want to know, I'm excited as well. You know, under these circumstances, we're dealing with this pandemic and coronavirus and we've been speaking about this over the phone and you were telling me about some of the conversations you're having with your clients during these challenging times. So yes, let's jump right into it because unfortunately, Hawaii has approximately almost 300 cases and unfortunately, Illinois is approximately almost 7,000 cases. So, yeah, yeah. I mean, those are, anyway, we're going to get through with this. We're going to get through it and we're going to come out ahead. And my question to you, Patricia, what is your radical plan to stay healthy physically and emotionally? Wow. You know, this one of the things that's happening with COVID-19 is that it's really challenging us to really think about and pay attention to our health. Most of us, the first plan most of us have is, what are we going to do to try not to catch this bug to begin with. And so, in some ways, we've had to spend some time thinking about our bodies and thinking about, you know, there are things I know I should have been doing, but now being much more consistent and much more intentional about drinking water, which is very good for us, right? We all know we're supposed to drink more water, taking our vitamins, making sure that we have good vitamin C, making sure that we have good rest, sleep habits, you know, all those, you know, destressing, all of those things help us to ward off disease and infections. And now it's all making us pay attention to what are we doing, how are we treating our bodies and not taking it for granted anymore. And that's a good thing. It is. So, sometimes a radical plan is just simply, you know, all the five things that I know I should be doing, I'm now doing all five of them for sure every day. Daily, religiously. Religiously, like being consistent, like, ooh, you know, I don't take that multivitamin like once a week. It's like, every day I got to make this a routine and a habit to get my vitamin C, my vitamin D, you know, and anything else that, you know, my body might need in order to ward off or fend off any kind of infection. There's also, you know, we've also had to think about, well, how do you know, the ways in which we eat, how are we using food? Are we using food to stress eat? Or are we using food, are we eating to stay healthy? And there's a difference between stress eating or emotional eating or eating for pleasure as opposed to looking at food as fuel for our body and as medicine for our body. And so COVID-19 is going to be challenging us to rethink our relationship with food, you know, and that can be a good thing. It's also challenging us and probably, this is probably an issue that goes over and beyond just, you know, a radical plan to stay healthy. But just in general, you know, I want to go back to something we said in the very beginning about when an event occurs, we are challenged to grow, change, and adapt. And I just wanted to say that, you know, with diligent effort, it usually takes about six weeks to learn a new habit. But in this present universe with coronavirus, we now have to learn and consistently practice multiple habits religiously and consistently. We have to be vigilant all the time. There can be no lapses. Yeah, this is a life and death situation right now. And I think that is the challenge that we all are facing daily. Well, really every minute of the day, we're facing it. Okay. So can I tell you a personal story that just happened today? Absolutely. My husband and my son and I have been diligently social distancing for the last three weeks. We celebrated three weeks, so we've had no contact with anybody. You know, we've done our shopping or gotten our little food or whatever we take care of the family needs. And we were like good. We were all good, right? Okay. And nobody had any symptoms and we're all good. My husband went to the grocery store today. He had a list. He bought some things. He bought a little bit more than he had planned to. And so he couldn't, everything that he had, he couldn't carry back on his own. Rather than call me, he called an Uber. I heard the old, yep. That's exactly how I went and he called me from the Uber. Now he usually calls me about everything, but he did not call me before he decided to call that Uber. No, I haven't killed him yet. Thank you. I'm staying in prayer. I'm just staying in prayer because I'm like, the clock has not started again. You know, and so we've had to have, so we're all struggling with this. We're all struggling with, this is a new habit. Now I understand he was trying to be helpful. He was trying not to make me go out and have to do the grocery shopping because I usually do, you know, would do it. He's trying to, you know, he was trying not to, you know, to be independent. That's that fierce independence. But it was an old habit to just call an Uber. But it's that old habit that we now have to rethink in this day and age. Does this make sense? And is this a safe thing to do? Now I'm not saying that in a time of crisis or a time of, you might need to call an Uber, but there's a way to call one. If you've got to call one, have your wipes ready, you know, have your mask ready. Make sure they're wearing a mask. Keep the window rolled down so that there's air circulation and only called if you absolutely, you have no other choice. He had other, you know, my husband had other choices. He's going to call me. We've got a clean car. He chose not to do that in that moment. And so, you know, everybody's going to struggle with that. Everybody's going to have to rethink, you know, their habits, the way that they used to do things may not be the safest way to do it now. So that takes us immediately to how do we keep, what is the plan to keep our homes disinfected? Girls. That's a big one. That's a real big, a very big one. Because there's a whole lot of stuff that's changed in terms of how you disinfect your home. Now, I tell you, one of the advantages that people in Hawaii have is that they're accustomed to taking their shoes off before they walk into their home. This is a new habit for people in Chicago, but it is, you know, people are learning that you shouldn't take your shoes into your house unless you disinfect at the bottom of them. And so now you see more people keeping their shoes outside of the home, cleaning the bottom of the home and disinfecting the floors. But just paying attention to, and then just paying attention to all the things that we commonly touch, whether it's light switches, the refrigerator door handle, door knobs, the water faucets, all the handles in our kitchen, in my kitchen. Like right now I can count in my kitchen if there must be 20 handles, at least if not more. And just in my kitchen alone. And that including the light switches. And then, you know, and so that has been a real chore to just go around the house every day and wipe off the light switches. And even when we get into our cars, I'm wiping down the steering wheel. Yeah, the keys. Yeah, your car. Sure. Yes. You know, anything that any place where you sit and yet so the car in your house. A lot of people are not trying to use public transportation, which is good, but just just just your own personal space. So, and thinking through how people use things like, you know, I had to talk to my child about well you know, when you use the bathroom. You know, we flush the toilet, then we go wash our hands. But you know what, whatever, you know, whatever you did with your hands, you have you almost have to go back and then rewash the flush handle, because there's stuff on that from when you use the bathroom. He's like, yeah. Oh, well, you're just a germaphobe. Life and death situation. And what I love about, you know, what we're doing, we're educating our children. This is a new norm now for the world to follow these safety steps. And so let's even touch on another subject about what is your plan if you get sick. You know, that's something that we don't really want to talk about, but it may happen. And I talk with my clients about that when I carry them through the steps, you know, in terms of, you know, being radically healthy, sanitizing your home, but also having a plan for if you should get sick, because you do have to think about it. So everybody should have in their home right now today, a thermometer, a 30 day supply of whatever their favorite Tylenol and whatever their favorite cold and flu medications is, are. And there should be enough for each member of the family. When you start thinking about how much medication it is, it's a lot. So you shouldn't be surprised that the Tylenol is out of stock right now. It is here. It's out of stock. Because in order for anybody, one for one person to have a 30 day supply, that's 180 Tylenols right there. And most of us don't usually have that kind of, you know, that amount of medication in our cabinets. You know, I'm working with a client now who is, she has not been tested for COVID-19, but she has all of the symptoms. And, you know, we've been talking about things like, well, you know, she, when she usually gets sick, she, you know, she usually takes like one theraflute, and she usually better. So she didn't, she wasn't thinking that she needed to have that much medication on hand. And I was talking to her about, well, you know, if the theraflute says you can take it three or four times a day, then that's how much you need to plan for 30 days worth of your theraflute three or four times a day. That's how much you need to have on hand to aggressively treat your symptoms aggressively. And this one is different. What she used to do with a normal flu, you might have, you might have worked, but not, not for this one. Patricia, we're going to take a quick break and we're going to come back and continue our conversation about coronavirus. Thank you. Hello, I'm Lillian Cumick, host of Lillian's Vegan World, the show where we talk about veganism and the plant-based diet located in Honolulu, Hawaii. I'm a vegan chef and cooking instructor and I have lots of information to share with you about how awesome this plant-based diet is. So do tune in every second Thursday from 1 p.m. Aloha. Welcome back to Sister Power. I'm Sharon Thomas Yarbrough. And my special guest today is Dr. Patricia Jones Blessman. And we are discussing coronavirus beyond surviving to thriving lessons and blessings. And before we went on break, we were talking about what do you do if you get sick? Okay, so not only do you have to plan for what if you get sick, but what if each member of, any member of your family gets sick? For example, in my family, there are three people, my husband, myself, and my son. Okay, so, you know, I don't know what they're going to do if I get sick. I'm the one that holds everything together, so I don't know. But I can just pray. But no, no, that's not true. I do have a plan. I've got some girlfriends that I've already told them you will have to step in. And I've already given them the list of medications, the doctors, and how they might need to work with my son and my husband in case I get sick. But I also have a plan for when if either one of them gets sick. I've had a plan for where does if my husband and I get sick at the same time, I have to make a contingency plan for when my where does my son go? Who's going to take him in if the two of us get sick at the same time. So those are the things that it's important to have those to have thought that through and to have thought about what what that means for your family. If you are a single private number of people who are single who had not even thought about what what happened or what they would need or what you know what their environment or what resources they could get from their own network. If they should get sick, who could they call on to even just drop meals off at their door. But those it's important to do that. It's also important to take a look at what happens if the cook in the family gets sick. How is the rest of the family going to have food and who's going to do it and who's going to prepare it and to have some idea what that means. Now, you know there there's food services out there like farmers box and real eats and freshly. So there are options out there that do deliver meals right to your door but it's important to have have thought it through. And so that everybody in the family sort of knows like okay this is what happens if if the cook gets sick we know we can still eat because we can do as Y and Z. The other thing I want to touch upon is that women are typically the caregivers and families. Yes. And they're usually the ones on the front lines in their homes. And one of the things that I'm seeing is that you know women to take will end up taking care of other family members. But then not taking care of themselves. And I think it's important that we step back and make sure that we are also taking care of ourselves in the process. This is a situation where it's important to you know like they say on the airlines put on your own oxygen mask first before you help somebody else. We're in that kind of situation. If you know you know who the people are that are typically the caregivers who help you know in the family. So they should have mass they should you know they should have a plan for if somebody gets sick how are they going to be able to have. You know protective gear or protective clothing or you know and what are the rest of the family members want to do to support the person who is the who usually takes care of the sick people in the family. So, so there we have I cover. Medical plan to stay healthy with my clients, keeping their home disinfected and there's that can be a whole number of things that people need to consider what he could be about to make that they have in their house, you know, paying attention to your home environment. What is your plan if you get sick. And the last thing that I talk about, or I try to get to with my clients is what is your plan to help others while you are still well. And, and it's not necessarily meaning helping your. You're just your family it can mean you know that what talents and gifts. Can you offer to the world out there during this time. To bring a little joy bring a little laughter. In Chicago we're doing stuff like having a nightly sing out sing out from our balconies and our windows in honor of the health care workers. You know it doesn't have to be major it can be a community for other people but it makes you feel good when you know that you're doing that you're not just thinking about yourself but you're thinking about the community around you. Well you feel good when you're giving back, you know, and then while we're still healthy. We invent and thriving to survive that we can give a smile and and before you go on Patricia I just want to make a note that I think it's time for people to start picking up the telephone and calling one another and checking on them. I know text is good. I text I email, but it's just a sound of a voice we're not able to hug one another any you know at least for another 45 days. But the sound of a caring warm voice I just that's my two cents I want to add with your know what knowledge about expertise. That's more than two cents that's at least a couple of hundred dollars. Let me tell you. So one of the things that I've done for as an example is I have a list of elders, elderly people that I know are not getting out of the house. So I have a list of them and I call them on a regular basis. I touch base with them. You know if I at least every couple of days. And you know who else I have a list of I have a list of single people. People are living by themselves. Yes. Yes. So my mind I have two neighbors on my floor. They both live by themselves and I check in with on them to make sure that they're okay. And I let them know if I don't hear from you in two to three days I'm going I'm you know I'm going to be texting you I'm going to be stalking you by phone. Yeah. But you know but they appreciate it that somebody is that on their floor. You know and I usually don't even you know it's funny I'm getting to know my neighbors better. You know but it's you know in this day and age you know this is what we must do it and then I have some younger friends that are you know that is younger and single friends that are. You know just a part of my social network I've got some little millennial friends and I call them and you know make how you doing make sure we have everything you know. Some of them you know they would I mean they're just so delightful. So but they're also appreciative that somebody is cares enough to check in on them on a regular basis. Yeah. Because you don't want anybody to be in their apartment by themselves isolated and getting sick or not feeling well. Or maybe just having a rough day and just maybe somebody to talk to because isolation in and of itself has its own psychological and emotional challenges. It does and you know. Listen to you speak so calmly and reassuring before we close. I want to you to leave Dr. Blessman with what is on the other side of this. What do we have to look forward to after this pandemic. Leave us a few words of encouragement and motivation and in this these times we need something to chew on this that feels good. Well you know you're going to leave a personal legacy whether you want to or not because at some point your children are going to and your grandchildren are going to remember. This is a historic event and people are their children grandchildren are going to remember how they experienced this and who you were in this during this time. So it's important to think about how you show up in the community and in your family and in the world as you go through this. Now we don't have any control over this virus that's perfectly clear but we still have agency over our life. And we have the ability and we make the decisions around how we're going to show up for each other and how we're going to live through this moment. And maybe in the process of thinking about what's on the other side and also looking for the blessings in this moment looking looking for the gift in this moment. Because there are some gifts can be you know you didn't realize how much this person loved you or that they would lay down their life for you because they're doing it on a daily basis. I mean you or your children being much more thankful or maybe just and just maybe just being more appreciative but you will there are if you look for the gifts in this. And I know that's a hard one to think about like because right now people might be calling like this like this sucks and this doesn't feel good at all. But it's important to look for the lessons and the blessings because they're there every experience has them and they may be different from person to person. You know yours will be different from mine but they are there and we have to we have to keep an eye out and look for them as well and not just focus on the rough stuff or the tough stuff but look for this the silver lining in the clouds. Dr. Patricia Jones bless my dear friend. This is so wonderful that we've had this chance this opportunity to let us know that there is a rainbow at the end of this tunnel. There's something to look forward to and I want to thank you so much for participating and and speaking about coronavirus beyond. Surviving to thriving there's lessons and blessings yet thriving we're definitely going to thrive and I just want to leave the audience with this note that I received from a friend of mine on Facebook. One last thought we isolate ourselves so that when we get back together. No one is missing. That's how my friend put it so isolate yourself people so we can all get through this and come back together and hug each other again. And I want to thank the health care workers as well. We're in this together. Please take care of yourself and others Aloha. Aloha.