 Hey guys, it's Joe. Welcome back. So I want to talk about my first moments waking up from surgery I know that a lot of you guys are actually facing amputation surgery from comments and messages back and forth and I'm so sorry that you have to face this But I want to talk about my experience waking up from surgery because this was a really big concern of mine This was an elective amputation as in I made the choice It's not anything I would ever actually choose like I'd like to have my leg in a perfect world But it was the best decision given all the circumstances and I was terrified that I would wake up from surgery and hate myself for making this choice that I would see my residual limb, which you can barely see and Just be disgusted with myself and think what have you done you idiot? You can never take this choice back and just be like filled with all of this regret and I did make the decision Knowing that that was a real possibility. I talked to people asking what their reaction was waking up from surgery But I still didn't I mean you can never know what your reaction is gonna be with something right until you're there And so I got there the day of surgery. I was super nervous. I Remember kind of being wheeled into the surgery room, but I was pretty out of it by that point thanks to the good drugs of the hospital and Then I Was out and I woke up from surgery now the first thing I remember waking up from surgery is being incredible pain because The nerve blocked and at work most of the time nerve wax work But this one didn't and so I was in an insane amount of pain because I felt everything But even then I remember my conscious thought being I am so glad that it's gone I am so glad that that chapter of my life is done And I'm so incredibly glad that I've made this decision and I was really relieved that that was my honest thought even though I was in so much pain And it took me a while to be able to like sit up and actually Look and see it and I thought maybe that was the moment that I was gonna be like, oh god Joe What have you done you idiot? You know I didn't happen then either. I was like wow That's weird. That's different. I don't have a leg. I feel like a leg should be there I still feel the leg with like the phantom pain and phantom sensation. I felt like if my leg was like burning But I didn't feel any like self-loathing or regret or Wish that I had made a different decision and I'm really glad that that was the case Like I said, I know a lot of you guys are actually facing this choice and it's a terrifying choice to have to make It's not a choice. Anyone should ever have to make it's not surgery Anyone should ever have to go through but a lot of people do and so I wanted to share my experience of waking up from surgery Even though I had so much fear that my reaction would be so negative that my reaction would be filled with regret It's been a week today and it's been a very painful week a very exhausting week But I still have zero regrets. I know it's gonna be a long journey. I know it's gonna be quite a process I know that life is never going to be the same But I'm still gung-ho like for this journey and I'm still really on board for all of it In a perfect world. I would rather have my leg But we don't live in a perfect world and I got to make this choice for myself I know it's the best choice for me. I have no regrets and I'm ready to continue this journey For everyone who is facing this surgery my thoughts and my heart are with you and I hope that your surgery goes so very well It's a it's a rough Rough decision to have to make but best of luck to you guys and I'm here if you have any questions I would love to answer them for you guys. Thanks so much. Take care of yourselves. I'll talk to you soon. Bye