 Just a second, Rosalind. They can't record anything unless you're talking at one place. You're just standing there. So they didn't record anything? Yep. They didn't need anything. I just did it. I did it. OK. So what I was thinking about is how fear kind of comes unbidden. You know, we don't wish for fear. It's not something that we strive to have. It just overtakes us sometimes. And the thing about courage is that I think we can cultivate. And that's what the conversation is about tonight. How can we cultivate? How can we learn to take a step outside of ourselves and do a diagnostic of our own body and cultivate courage within ourselves or at least open the door for courage? So the word courage comes from the Latin word core, which means heart, and azir, two words, to act. So to act from the heart is where the etymology of the word courage comes from. It's not exactly the way we use it today. But I give you the example that sometimes we've all had the experience of your heart telling you, Rosalind, say something. Rosalind, do something. And my mind is telling me, no, I'm not going to say anything. They're going to think I'm crazy. I won't do it. I'm too embarrassed. And my heart keeps saying, go away, Rosalind. Go ahead. Do it. Say it. And so many times I override that place inside of me that is courageous, that is acting from my best self. It's acting from the core, the core of my being. So what I want us to do is to place our hands on our heart, both hands if you want, or the single hand if you want. And we're going to breathe into our heart. We're going to imagine our heart opening and softening. So take a deep breath through your nose. Feel your heart rising. And as you blow out through your mouth, feel your heart settling into a more comfortable position. Again, take a deep breath and feel your heart warming. And as you blow out through your mouth, relax into this time of conversation, important, deep conversation. This time when we breathe in, let us open the ears of our heart so that we hear from our heart center and not just from our head. And as we blow out, we let go of any distractions or inhibitions or fears that may keep us from hearing deeply and drinking deeply from that heart center. And so for the next minute, just breathing in and breathing out normally, hold your hands on your heart and settle into this time that we have together. So now we have our heart warmed up. Are there any reflections on how does it feel to hold your hands on your heart, courageous, comforting? Yeah, feels comforting. Good. Any other words that come to mind? Yep. A sensation of being present with myself, centered. Coming back to my center. Anyone else? A reminder of our true self behind all the stuff out here. Who are we at the deepest low? To connect to that intentionally can bring about a great shift in how we operate and carry ourselves in this world. So the second part of this little introduction piece, please come on in. Grab a paper right there. There's a paper and a chocolate if you want. The second part of this, which I would like for you to do. Oh, you've got a seat saved for you right here. How about that? Hey, Chuck, come on in. Hi. So the second part I want you to do is take your dominant hand, whichever hand you write with. And coming to our true self and being in touch with our true self and being centered and being comforted. Sometimes, as I explained to you, my heart's telling me one thing, my head is telling me something else. I have a conflict internally with myself. That's never happened to you, Jonathan. Jonathan's going, yeah. So here's the motion that I'd like for you to trace with your hands. And it looks like the figure eight. So my head is telling me something. And I go down. I'm going to go a little lower than my heart down to my core is telling me something else. So breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Inhale, exhale. And so intentionally doing this motion can help us to bridge the gap, the distance, between our head and our heart, between our deepest self and perhaps our ego, our centered self and our scattered self. So using this as a reminder that we need both in our lives. We need to pay attention to both and to become aware when we get off balance or disconnected one from the other. So how did that feel? How did that movement feel? See some head shaking up and down. OK, a grounding. Relief, relief. Yeah. I'm not at odds with myself. We can talk from here to here. Peace, peaceful. Good. Very good. OK, so we're heart centered and we are dialoguing internally and our true self is sitting right here in these chairs. So I'm going to turn it back to you. Thank you. So we're getting ready for our first question. And you've already have shown courage, that act of heart by coming tonight. That doesn't necessarily mean boldness, but maybe so. But something in your heart brought you here. This is not something that you had to do tonight. There's something else going on. So I'm going to invite you to do one more act of the heart, trusting that we can learn more from others than ourselves. It takes a community. So in courage, I want to invite you to find two other people, perhaps, that you've never talked to before. And find a spot to be three people together. Two other people. Look at this. You're all big people. You're all big people. This is such a little step. Here we go. Make it a three. Yeah, that won't work. And try to keep your size kind of in this area. OK. So we can make a little triangle here. That's six here, though. I don't think we're all going to end up. I know this way, but I don't think we all are going to end up. There we go. There we go. That's three. I'll join here for you. I'm going to get started. I know, but you just have to do what we can. Oh, here's Rhett. Here's one. Here's one. Here's the chair, Rhett. He's got one right there. So we've got some folks who are introducing themselves. That's great. So just know your first names. This is good. Last names are great, too. You're all going to be new best friends when this is all over. So here's the first question. So keeping in mind to what Rosalind was talking about, this kind of centeredness, the first question is about yourself. It's about this space right here. When I'll get the question here. I have it right in the tip of my tongue. When you feel fear personally, how do you experience it? Where is it in your body? How do you experience it? What does it feel like? And try to stay in your body as opposed to what you think it is. How do you experience fear? And part of that question then is, how do you traverse that feeling? What do you do with that when you're in fear? What do you do with that? So everybody's answer is, there will be similarities, but there will be different. What do you do when you're fearful? How do you manage that? So how do you experience your own fear? And how do you manage it? So about 15 minutes in each person, talk, share, commonalities. Questions about the question? I can't hear you, and if they could, they'd probably shoot you. So don't even waste your energy. And I find myself doing the same thing. And maybe it's just my expression of fear, because I have one of those. I don't even know what you'd call it. It is a major follow-accident without the luxury that's a strange word, but the luxury of a diagnosis, meaning that I have had lots and lots of residue, problems since the crash, but never had anything diagnosed. X-rays will take in all kinds of things. And you said, oh, you're fine, but I still have lots of back and neck problems from it. And it's just, it's almost like not dying much myself to comfort or see myself, well, you know, Jonathan, you haven't ruptured this or that. It's almost like complaining about something that's not defined, but it is real. It's affecting some of our minds and some of our minds. So I think that increases the amount of fear about the way it's said. Yeah, I'm going to figure it out now. But the action of this complaining it doesn't really accomplish anything. And maybe that's, maybe it comes from when you feel like you're powerless. Yeah. You know, when you were saying a lot of your reaction to some of the political realities, when you're trying to act, you like your comments more, you do something that you feel is, at least, you feel like you're responding. But in traffic, what do you do? But just hope that some of the recklessness here doesn't take your life or paralyze you. So it's a real feeling, because one of the many things that we complain about is incredible talking here, where people just reach for you. Now that it happens, it happens all over the world. It's not the right. It just happens more than anywhere I've ever lived or driven. So I feel like when I get out of the way of a person that's bearing down on my back, and I have that sire leave, someone else just starts doing it in the other lane. So it just increases the feeling of power to me. What can I do? That's when you get the road bridge from here. And that's interesting. You do the tailgating, see the view that I find phenomenal about it. It's just how people cross lanes. They'll just cross the two or three lanes to go where they go and there's no blink or anything. Yeah, the tokens is one. Yes. I mean, it did last. It's amazing. I've never been a little more defensive anywhere else in my life, so yeah. I guess I'm, well, I haven't been San Antonio my whole life for purpose, but I've been in Boston as a San Antonio. I guess I'm just the way it is. I don't even think about that it's different anywhere else. I've driven in California, New York, I've driven in Africa, I've driven in all kinds of places. It is weird here. I mean, it is. That feels good. Well, you know, we're in Austin. And here nobody really honks. Nobody knocks them. Nobody honks. You're right about that. I want to change it. Come on, come on, come on. I mean, the guy hasn't even put his foot on the gas and the guy's not. And so we saw these two cars. The guy behind honked, because the guy didn't need to go into the intersection, which is dangerous in and of itself. It is. So he paused and in it, he starts going, the guy's honking at him. So then this guy, he knocks at him, and he knocks at him, and they're like this, and he knocks at us. We're back here going, OK, let's just go back. All because it's, you know, it's, I don't know, it's fear, it's fear that I'm going to have something, I heard this wonderful program on this source. It's a show on NPR, and they were talking about Emmett Till, because the author of the book on Emmett Till was going to be speaking with him last week at the comic book. And I'm just being a black man, which is really always a clear and present thought in my head of being robbed, being robbed of my freedom, being robbed of my dignity, being robbed of safety, simply because of the color of my skin. And there's a parallel, kind of a rough or strange parallel to the traffic, which is, I'm robbed of the right, to just have a safe passage and transportation. You know, for no particular reason, but there's, I don't know what I'm talking about. But I think as an African American, you source and give a different layer on that because you always want to be targeted. Oh yeah, absolutely. So that's how we talk about the fear. When I talk about the fear of the election, it's that every right that I've gotten, about five more minutes, so if somebody hasn't been able to share yet, you might want to hear from them. Yes. You know, I mean, so this whole, yeah, so I understand that, whereas somebody else could drive along and do something weird, you could drive along. And they're not necessarily targeting you. They're just being a regular reckless, careless self, you know. But as an African American, yeah, because we are. We have to react to it. This is not safe. You're another piece of that fear for me too, depending on the kind it is, is I tend to go silent. I don't know if I'm, sometimes it's trying to think through what's the next move, what do you say, what are you doing, whatever the situation is, maybe bear that, and something that I feel that I can address at the time. And so there's sometimes a disappointment in that silence. Because of yourself? Because I don't know if there's a missed opportunity. Mm-hmm. But then that's kind of the role of the guy. It's interesting. It's interesting, you know, Rosalind's talking about that urge from his heart to speak out or to act, and there's that other one saying, you know, I might be embarrassed or targeted or whatever. Yeah. And then when you give in, I feel disappointed too, when I just say, you know, I'm going to take the safe way. I'm going to pay us a lesson. Yeah. You see, there's so much of that. And that's the figure out of everybody's part. If you keep going back to the election thing. I mean, I have a lot of friends that think the complete opposite for me. But I feel like, well, if I talk about it, I'm not going to change their minds. We just got into that with my brother and lobbyist. I'm not changing my mind. I'm not changing your mind. So listen to me and talk about it anymore. If you're in a social or, like, we go to a Bible study, a lot of people in there don't think like I think and I'm thinking, well, anyway, that's a whole other discussion. Anyway, that's a whole other discussion. But, like, part of the whole thing is you want to be in this Bible study and talk about, well, I don't know. That's a good question. I think that's a good reason for that. For why? Because one of my very best friends we are on the polls apart. Mine too. And she has learned more by us being polls apart. By us being polls apart and the willingness to talk about it. I told her once about how I was afraid of police officers. I mean, police frightened me. They told me about how she was raised that they could take care of you. I said they do take care of you. They don't take care of me. And so that whole mind said she still can't get her head around it. But had we not had a relationship it would never have been... I think it would give an opportunity to get into dialogue and some deep stuff that we wouldn't ordinarily get into when we tend to talk to people who always think like we do. It sounds like an amazing thing. This old guy, old things, neighborhood, and he just kind of reminds me of what I'm talking about now and which I know is some of his Muslim families are next to him. And he was just like, give it. And he can't believe it. Well, kids are sweet. They start talking. He's never none of us. Exactly. And the end of the story is after they graduate I know we did. And I think that's that fear of the other. The fear of the other could be of a person or whatever. People don't know what to do with it because they're not familiar. So if they do like your son then that may help that other person get a little light bulb going on or you can understand where they're coming from. Since I'm not blind, it's hard for me to understand that fear. I can understand and see what's happening. But I don't feel it. I don't feel it, but I can empathize with you and say, oh yeah, I can see that happening. I don't like it either. But I can feel it. Or I may have something else I could compare it to. But I think that's only when it starts happening is that when we see things not necessarily differently but I guess for me to respect that person's view. Because we are some total of our experience. No matter what we say or do, that's who we are. My experience pulls apart from yours the only way we can begin to acknowledge is to be able to do that. Second question is similar to the first but it's about others. So how do you recognize when somebody else is experiencing fear? What do you see? How do you know that somebody beyond you is in a state of fear? What registers for you? Oh they're afraid. How do I know that? And then how do you manage that when you know somebody else is afraid? Makes sense? Do you want some symbols? Oh yes, first one was going to give us a few more. Yes, that would be good. So you can think on that a little bit. So if you're confronted with somebody who is fearful does it cause you to be fearful yourself? Does it do that? And the symbol that I would give to you to do with your hand, with your arms is this symbol here. So do this with your hands across your arms so that you're protecting yourself from the fear and you're kind of protecting yourself from the other person. So cross your arms and feel how that feels. And so in some ways it's defensive but what it does is it isolates you from the other person. Shake that off. Shake that off. And then using that same gesture that we used with our head and our core but instead of doing the figure 8 that we did from our head to our core I want you to turn it on its side and do it between the fearful person and yourself. So you're doing the same figure 8 with your dominant hand. Go ahead and do it. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. And what is that symbol called in mathematics? Infinity symbol. Right. So there's an infinity of energy that can never stop if you allow it to start to flow. So for example maybe Anne is going to hold she's the fearful one so she's like that and I can also join her and be fearful as well. And there's not any kind of there's not any kind of communication going on between us. So maybe Anne is fearful again but this time I'm able to recognize her fear and I see that it's coming from a fear that she has and my energy I can do this I can breathe and I can send the infinity of energy or the infinity of healing or the infinity of love toward that person and it may not but it may help but it may help me to manage my own fear and sometimes it causes people who have their hands in a fearful position to change and to be joining in that infinity. I'm giving you this as sort of like preparation that you would do and you wouldn't be having a conversation I mean we're doing this in this evening but let me just tell you this quick little example I had done this in a class and there was a person who just thought it was crazy and the next time I could tell the next week when she came to class I said did anybody try that homework I gave you about doing the infinity symbol but oh great the one person who didn't buy into it she said I was laying in my bed on Saturday morning and my daughter who's 15 or something came in really late after midnight and I was laying there gritting my teeth getting ready to get up and have the usual argument with my daughter and she said I thought about for a minute and I thought that crazy thing and I just started doing this she said I hadn't even gotten out of bed and then I stopped and then my daughter poked her head around the door of the bedroom and she said mom I know I was late last night and I know you're going to be really angry but I'm so sorry and I promise I won't do it again the lady said I couldn't even believe it she said I know I thought you were crazy she said but somehow I felt like my daughter felt my energy even though she didn't see her so I'm just saying that and Chuck you're a musician you're a person who handles energy really well it's not always the verbal cues that we give so I think that that happens you know and it's also kind of an image metaphor I mean I can be in a conversation and not doing this but doing that just this yeah right so to your question how do you recognize fear in others and then how do you manage that so think about how you do it now how do you recognize it how do you manage it generally okay 15 minutes I probably recognize that quicker and then sometimes it's a complete withdrawal I don't want to communicate at all I guess for some reason I'm not sure I can even I think maybe more of because of my grandkids maybe your eyes I like opening this facial expressions you know even like my little granddaughter got on this slide the other day it was higher and steeper than she realized and it was like up off the ground and she came up and flew off and her eyes were like this you know so that was that was a physical fear I guess it's like that was going to happen and I was probably looking the same way so say what you said again I was really well I was thinking about adults but maybe not some more children even the voice all of it that kind of goes to what you're saying about me because you're saying coming out is anger but it's really fear and you're yelling and what I put together was that I know it's not this question it's helpful for me to think about this it's that it's that sense of power that you don't feel that there's any effective response to that maybe that's the source of the frustration and that's also the motivation maybe to lash out because you feel just power that's the only thing and I'll just move on to the subject that I was listening to what you were saying about remaining friends with and trying to connect with folks that's the only thing I can empathize with the viciousness of hate that comes very soon that are manifest or give voice or permission to people feeling powerful people feeling that they're they're just in the mind of God their mind is going to be like you know you better say the word so that you lash out against black people Muslims and women and you know everybody so that's the only thing I still don't want to do it because friends are listening to them because they're dangerous so I feel different than you guys do about this that there is at least that that element of empathy on my heart on this station so we lash out with hate I think it's need to suppress it's always a need to be on top of something on top of somebody it's always that need to unpack you know I was thinking about I was thinking with a child and how you deal you know when a kid hurts themselves and their just happened the other day and as adults we immediately go to them with always going to be okay or whatever which I think is a totally opposite reaction because it feeds into the fear already as opposed to hey you're going to be okay so I think how we deal with that but even with adults nothing possible quite often people I'm working a gift shop quite often people come in there today it happens a woman came when she walked in she walked in the door and she said there was an older and I've been on her whatever with her and she told me I don't know why she don't she told me that she had just learned that her father is fine and so that was that fear that was that all of just a myriad of emotions and that happens not a lot good enough and it's not to dispel the fear as much as you you do them you know it's okay and just talk about it get it out whatever you know and I think in a in a non-family told stranger way it's almost healing because nobody's I mean I didn't say anything and I find that that for the moment can be helpful and I think sometimes people do that and it's almost like they haven't moved for that person they don't know because there's nothing there's nothing in it there's not oh well I can't think they've heard or seen it like my dad yeah exactly all of that yeah sometimes it's soothing to talk to a stranger they don't have all that other stuff in the way they don't bring anything to it just to be listened to and yeah you recognize well I mean she was crying she starts talking to you yeah I mean sometimes people just kind of walking around looking lost and stuff and sometimes you almost have to you don't have to but you can engage them and invariably because a lot of times they'll come there and so just feeling that and just giving them a place to yeah and it's always it's a lot of other things but it's fearful of what's happening I gotta go back up here I gotta talk to my kids it's just and I guess it's an example for anything it's just providing that comfort sometimes the physical comfort I mean if it's somebody you know and you feel like you can't provide physical comfort when you're afraid I mean or just you don't have to say anything just being there and touching the person or you know that's tremendous many many times calm their fears with them yeah I think we worry too much about what to say instead of just being there just being there I guess it's just I think it depends on who it is because it's my daughter I mean I can always touch her she lives in Houston so we just went through this all of Harvey things she called me that Sunday and I texted her and she didn't text me back and then she called and she said oh I'm okay like 20 minutes later she calls and tells me there's water in the driveway and that just that was a fear I mean there's absolutely nothing I could do about it nothing and yet I know that I've got to be logical I've got to ask her to kind of question if I need to ask her to get her to do whatever she needs to do but having her being my child all her life I also know that she can never see fear in me she counts on me to always be level-headed and mom's going to tell me how to get through this and I mean I am she has to be back to lose it I'm just glad I was here and she was there but I mean it all worked out but I mean I could hear it in her voice and so I've got to talk about logical things you need to be doing but at the same time you're fighting back your fear absolutely the helplessness of it I mean what am I going to do even if I've been there I'm going to do but that was traumatic that afternoon I talked to her cause all she was telling me back was okay all she was sending me back was okay and that's what I told her about six o'clock in the evening she said I fell asleep I was praying and I fell asleep and I woke up and I heard cars which means that people were driving on the street and she said it was a receding of the water she said it's biblical I said tell me about it but that was a fear that was yeah oh yeah so I think it depends on who it is seeing fear in someone else I think it certainly depends on who it is it's easier probably to learn and logical or whatever you're all having a skin in the game right it is I think too I've had this it's kind of a face where people just say oh she looks so nice let me dump on her cause I have had so many people come up to me in stores or where people don't even know I used to call my husband what do I have on my face talking to me but also I think what I do cause of just things that have happened in this whole time I'm just trying to help I'm just trying to help more people so I'll see people on HED some old lady but say oh are you okay can I help you get that they'll be looking to be well there can I help you find something so I'm starting to approach people it's minor but I feel like that's how we get I'm passionate talking about you guys touch more people even though it's in very seemingly small ways, who knows but you don't know what for you walking up and saying something I think the first story I feel it need to be a kind or gentle person after that I mean it's gotta be a nice a nice person you kind of go out of your way stop to listen to people or something just to say that the world is not all that yeah what do you do when jumps is what I was talking about was just my friend I don't talk to crazy people yeah well that's who I thought you were talking about I have just dropped several people but if they if their view are that painful yeah same thing there's a lady that I have been communicating with about doing some stuff in prison and wanting to do this Cairo's ministry when you go in and have this spiritual retreat in prison and they do it in men's prison but I wanted to do it in women's prison because I think a lot of African American women are in prison and they don't see other African American women in prison and I really wanted to do it and this girl does it she does it and she was sending me all this ugly stuff on facebook and so I just saw her last Sunday the first mad singer and I had a hard time but yeah she's doing this ministry there's a tremendous contradiction there's a disconnect but I saw this stuff and so I just unfriended her but I saw and I hate how you know what I mean I mean it just changed everything and it's really impeded my intent of doing what I was doing because it's like you can't guide me in this anymore you can't help me do justice I gotta know and it just amazes me people were supposed to be reasonably sane they're kind of proud they just saw it it's just so great I can't I guess I'm thinking more in terms of people who like I have a person in my neighborhood this isn't always oh my goodness oh see we should be what would this say I know it would say what I want this person in my neighborhood wouldn't go to this Bible study with and again we don't ever talk about it it's like a just a unwritten rule but I kind of gleaned from a couple of things that you know that probably don't think but I don't think it's not in a hateful way they're not hateful to other people it's more like I just like I don't know and don't even get me I have no idea the sheriff says no but you know they helped me so much I don't even know this lady and she was bringing me food and calling me and sending me notes and I've seen her do this for all kinds of other people so that's the kind of person I don't want to lie because I'm thinking well if we ever do talk and I'm not saying she's purchased I don't think she is but it's just that for whatever see that's the people I really don't understand are the people who don't seem to be necessarily but yet they support this person I don't get it like they're not supremacists I can see why they support yeah but I don't understand the people that are so calm they're all in different ways that's the part I don't understand I'm just like I don't get it I'm just rigid about you have to draw a line somewhere you know if you if there are some policies that you agree with and that you support that caused you to be deceived into thinking that that individual will put into these policies when you notice when you notice the divisive people of race are in here I just think if you have any integrity you have to say I I can't do this so I I guess I just have to say that that's why I'm saying I have to say any of that but I don't know how this is going to be there's no working style I don't understand it because the thing that I thought was going to be that was that comment on the bus and when he did the thing about the bus this is supposed to be there could never be another woman walking or in a way a bad man come back together oh it was so many people so many people just blew it up and they keep over and over and over and over and that's what gets me down that's when the Christian thing gets to me I keep telling my husband do they know what the Bible says do they know what Jesus was saying in this case it was interesting I said the first time I came to one of these was the night before the election and the whole point was to how you talk to your friends and family tomorrow having no idea that tomorrow was going to be nobody expected and it was I mean there's a lot of good dialogue here that night pretty much everybody was kind of on the same page but I mean I think that kind of rendered a lot of his speeches the next day because I really woke up thinking I had a bad dream about four times me too they feel like you're in another world this didn't really happen and I had gone to Houston I had gone to the Adele concert I was supposed to be having the night of my life and I'm sitting in the concert on my phone to see what are the election results you know and God it was I didn't think it was real for a few days I thought this is the longest nightmare I've ever seen it's not over when's it going to end it's not over it's still there when you brought up George Bush remember after we had the George Bush the second George Bush in those bumper stickers that said George Bush said don't you miss him yet? yes I saw it he was from Jimmy Kimball and he said that in his pocket and vote for him I saw him on Jimmy Kimball his humor cracks you up he's doing these drawings after 9-11 he was the one that thought in Texas when he was 7 that these kids that were coming across with their parents they should have had education so he was that way and also after 9-11 he said this is why he was trying to make people realize when the first acts you do is go to a mosque that's what I call disagree I can disagree with this point of view and stuff but if there's a comment you happen to see things differently but that's different than what's going on I don't know if you remember when he was doing this when he was talking about how it came from two great acts that's telling me I'm lucky he doesn't mean blind to first of all you failed he's not a Christian but I don't have to support somebody politically because you're a Christian but when the behavior and the words are so contrary to everything that I believe I always feel like I'm on public radio alright so I just want to ask for some quick kind of feedback a little bit and just to kind of even speak it from wherever you are what are some of those things that you recognize in other people when they're fearful anger withdrawal their facial expression being stressed so one question oh yeah beat this kid up that was the way they controlled so beating someone up when there's fear but we're also talking to daily encounters how do we see that but do you relate to any of those as a person yourself going back to your first silence that withdrawal silence that sucks the air out of the room now Rosen's going to lead us in another exercise before our next question but just a few thoughts about the ethic of reciprocity which is also known as the golden rule and the golden rule applies really the only thing you need to know when it comes to compassion but how do you translate and utilize that tool so you know the phrase to treat others the way you wish to be treated right so there's also the other side to that same coin to not treat others the way you don't want to be treated right so you can also apply that not just to your actions but to what you see right so when you're angry how would you like to be treated right how would you not want to be treated when you're angry you start to see what we're talking about how it starts to translate one of the things that Drew mentioned was about how a lot of the fear these days is really deep and to get to the fear that he's spending a lot of time listening right so back to that golden rule to listen to others the way you wish to be listened to when you're fearful you know and not to be shut down right when you're shutting down do that to somebody else you're starting to see how the golden rule works it's very applicable so this next phase is going more public what does this mean so we've started here and how we can recognize it in others but how can we recognize it on a larger scale so Rosen's going to move us but we're going to form a group here of 6 here of 6 and here of 6 because your group because public is larger right and so I'm going to go ahead and the question is I thought I might mention something else something else we had talked about with fear is I know sometimes when I become fearful I become irritable and so that's harder to handle when someone is scared defensive irritable than just seeing them with straw or perhaps tearful so I know it's given my wife and sometimes when I look back in her life that's made her not know what to do when I'm here to be fearful so I'm recognizing what we see in others in ourselves and vice versa and how would we want to be approached taking care of so just so you can start to think about this the next question is to think of and you can have a couple different ones one public thing that's happened recently where you saw people fearful and then taking this information that we have now gleaned about ourselves as human beings how we experience fear how we see it in others right did you in those fearful moments that were more public and we've had some this past summer did you see people actually start to see the golden rule or not and knowing what we know about fear now how might those situations be different these public more public situations am I making sense okay so Rosen you want to show us the next one so for this one you're going to be very happy we're going to have to stand up so if you stand up this is a tai chi exercise it's called two daughters on the mountain and we're just going to do the arm pieces to it so if you put your feet just a little shoulder width apart and soften your knees so that your legs are not locked and when your hands are going up you're inhaling yeah when your hands are coming down exhaling so the two daughters are down here in the valley and they are coming up you can do it with me as you inhale and they're going to meet right about it your face and it sort of looks like they're going to have a conflict they're going to clash, they're going to collide but one daughter passes in front one behind exhale and then you come back down to the valley so two daughters coming up the mountain slowly slowly slow it down it looks like they're going to have a conflict a confrontation one passes in front one passes so now just pay attention to your breath inhale exhale breathe in last time so if you want to take your groups the two that were here and form a group of two threes and these two groups over here two threes and these two groups over here two threes and these two groups over here two threes and you can so my question was are these people children that could be an American or they just don't believe it or they just want to live a life where every year I mean they're on the Florida Keys give me a break you're going to have you know turbulent weather every year I lived in California for 28 years and everybody said to me aren't you afraid of the earthquakes? yes I lived through three of them but you know it's like you just have to put your faith in God and say for me I will be protected again so think of particular public fearful moments can anybody think of one that's happened Harvey Harvey okay somebody else have another one Harvey was a public fearful moment another one gas shortage that was caused by Harvey but it was a different thing than just Harvey do we have another fear one do you guys have a fear one? St. Louis protest the St. Louis protest another one so you're getting there I also think of a whole monument thing oh yeah so that's what we're talking about so now you've picked the public fearful whatever so knowing what you know now about fear, how it feels how you see it in any of those situations of the golden rule and how or not and what was that and how could it have been different make sense? so your group might want to just pick one of those if you want to do that and talk around one you can talk more but okay better Jonathan thanks for that again with regards to any of the events that happened that when people don't act whether the speech about or not speaking or just doing nothing for me that's the most hard I guess not acting in action in action just so you feel something do you think that we're waiting okay speaking for myself too yeah but I mean just kind of hypothetically would I be because I think I expressed it we kind of talked about this a little bit in our first thing and I was saying there's a really crisis and somebody's really fearful and you're done and just like let somebody else handle it am I really going to put myself right there in front of somebody having a dramatic event and of course you're thinking okay call 9-1-1 I don't know what would happen if you call 9-1-1 maybe the police would just freak out but why do I have to deal with that 9-1-1 type situation for freedom what I think about when we talk about in action is that we talked earlier about fear or something we were saying trauma and it's not because we don't know what to do what just kind of like what what do I do what can I do that's a real example yeah in smashing windows I don't understand if I do something I fear what would happen if I stand up and say something I know I have that fear yeah because all of the build up is to the hurricane as everybody just gets after fear there's a lot of fear even in that kind of people making it together will I have what I need but there were other things that I would not expect at all is this more related instead of to you and I what's in our mind is it more related to our culture or our family or familiar you know what our family might do or our culture and we kind of discussed that we are about a great you know what the influence is mm-hmm because I do think that it does come and you know I'm from a small town me too and we're forever everybody jumping in to do whatever we have to do because sometimes we didn't have the resources really how small was your town when I was growing up it was 2000 and my father was a doctor wow so there was a lot of so were you in the rural area Caldwell and your Bryant College and yeah so we and there was a lot of and and you had everybody it was beautiful and even if you wanted you wanted to get anything down I mean everybody rallied around to get it going because sometimes you felt like nobody else was going to come in and help you it had to be you had to do it and there was a lot of that I was thinking when Tanao went right through downtown Nashville I had a night class and the problem was the opposite you couldn't get people fearful enough to get into the first floor and get away from windows and stuff like that and we're educators we know we're supposed to herd them in and get them to be fearful enough not to go and look at things flying around out the windows I can remember you being an elementary and they were still doing it they had pigs you get under what do you do that's going to make all the difference you know I used to work for an airline and I had several instances but I had one major one we were told that we were going to have to have an emergency landing and I remember when I was hired one of the interview questions was of course it's kind of stupid the question but would you panic if you were facing fear and so what I learned in my flying my career was I learned how to funnel or channel my fear and overcome it that way in that situation I could do it in my personal situation it sounds like you have permission that's right I had to be there I had to be the one because if I fell apart or if the flight attendant fell apart the passengers most certainly would you felt because you were the person in charge and you were the stewardess and that was your job because of having that responsibility then you could deal with just about most crises but personally when you're not the stewardess and you're out somewhere she was a lifeguard too even when I was a lifeguard I was trained to not panic because I think fear causes sometimes depending on the type of fear panic and what do I do or makes it worse and that creates that whole mobocracy mentality like everybody's climbing over each other but it's funny how in that situation I was always very professional and assured and very assured of myself but now in my personal life if you don't know what your role is I know what you're going to do right? and you get polite it's neat I'm sure that's right and we're well-being so when I'm even going into a conference with other teachers it's not really about me it's about me being the best student so there is no fear that when it comes to something that happens it's something that I'm going to do so why can't we do that why can't we make that where does that person come from I don't know but when it's something personal I feel like I should be saying something or standing up I freeze because I'm talking about fear but for me there's freeze and for me coming to this is taking the first step for me fantastic I have fear but how do I have courage to stand up for myself and those who are looking up to me exactly courage it's a risk isn't it yeah I've always kind of equated it with that let me ask the risk so it's interesting I mean we talk about these other things tell me about the risk what is the risk what's the risk I not being accepted I'm not being accepted making bad decisions tonight the girl who led the movement changed the name of Lee High School I mean she could have easily been so targeted by the administration or whatever and I met her several times we went to the unsuccessful attempts to convince the school court to change it that was a very years ago I don't know why they changed it last month thank god they did but I met her not only the student and she was courageous but let's give her mother the main credit because I met her mother and it was quite obvious that this student was her mother's child and she was following what her mother was approved of the effect of the effect of the effect of other people across that it brought us to this point then we kind of adopted her as a spokesperson but they did get thousands signatures on an internet signup and we had hundreds and hundreds of people that were there she touched on a nerve and so we had a lot of their support a lot of the posts so it kind of got beyond the students you know it's kind of a community standoff you know to handle this we failed initially to change the name I didn't get to attend to change anything but it must have been dramatic a pretty recent one well from being in the room trying to explain that and I would get emotional so just hearing these people give a justification about how great Robert E. Lee was how great he was his life he didn't really own sleigh his wife owned sleigh and on and on and I'm not trying to denigrate Robert E. Lee but I'm just careful but he had in our community discussions half world the other way he was a trader he did all these evil things so you can see it either way but you know that the school board then would decide because the president when you're at these things address the school board you have to talk to the president everybody's there you're on camera and personally I know how I would have voted and I was appalled they voted to continue with the name Robert E. Lee and appalled that people were so well that they had such a prejudice that they thought that this there was some great thing that had been accomplished that actually a lot of people don't know the history they had chosen that name like in the 50s or maybe 60s kind of as a reactionary to the Brown versus Board of Education oh my god oh my god and these people were taking pride in the day of filming Robert E. Lee other people knew about and they would get jobs because of telling people about Robert E. Lee High School what kind of a job really and it was like this is all the bad things you think are kind of like under there actually about a week and a half before the hurricane came I went to Tom Lakers running for governor down to Goliath we had a little event there and so when we find the cafe we were supposed to go into and it's kind of like they're strangers in town by the way three police show up in the cafe to find out who we were so I was going to talk to one of them and the first thing they brought up oh you're from San Antonio you know people up there want to take those statues down of our confederate heroes ah and so I was coward I just said some dude I met he got away from them Tom was a politician of course and so he kept talking to them and he managed to pull out of them the fact that they were virtually idle because they were sent down towards the warden they were on leave I guess these were DPS officers or who were these these were state police and they were sent down to protect the border but they kind of had this attitude they had that attitude but they were there for months with nothing to do because there are no evil immigrants coming in they used to bloody to put all those police down there so Tom was able to actually engage them a little bit and get something out of them I don't want to talk to these people but what are they afraid of what does a statue in a park in San Antonio have to do with their wellbeing or their place in the world when they're way down doing nothing on the border it's a thread of bigotry a bigotry and racism that runs in our country so go grab that culture your whole life culture and on and on like is there something to you know it's like almost overpowering what was that yes it's madness about one moment of history for me I've gotten to where yeah I can't hardly even watch TV I don't want to I mean I do because you know I need to keep current but it's like I get so that's a culture yes you have a Robert E. Neal but you also have a George Thomas who grew up in a slave owning family and stayed with the union and was a brilliant tactician by the way but didn't mistrusted by the union army because he was a senator but so he was in charge of the battle of Nashville largely by default and then you have old Fussin Feathers himself who was a Virginia who was a slave who was Fussins the top guy in the union army he knows all of these people from history Winfield Scott three Virginians and only these Fussins I was I was Googling Wikipedia this morning and I don't know why and I Googled South Carolina and the other southern slave states and I did not know every state all the slave states all the southern slave states I want to honor everybody's time and this is to go for another 13 minutes and so we're going to do the last question together and Rosa and I are going to walk the mics so you might want to think just a little bit but how does all of this information that we have gleaned how does it inform our future acts of the heart our courage how does it speak to us to move forward into the future what might we do in a different way that we have learned from our own feelings and in situations I'm going to ask Susan she didn't know this but she gave a really good example and so I'm going to ask her to share the one about Phil Harberger this is from a previous hurricane Katrina which I think we all remember and when all the refugees were coming from Houston there were quite a few cities that were saying no we're not going to take the evacuees we can't handle that who's going to pay for this our social services can't do it we don't have enough space what if they decide to stay we just can't cope and Mayor Harberger was the mayor that stood up and said come here you are our brothers and sisters you would do this for us we welcome you and if you want to stay we'd be delighted and as Anne pointed out he really didn't know it was going to be okay he spoke from his heart he saw suffering and he spoke from his heart and in the end it was okay and we did get paid back for everything and many of the Katrina refugees most of the Katrina refugees have turned out to be sterling citizens who are good employees and good citizens and good students and it's been a wonderful addition to our city and from that experience of taking in that number of refugees we were able to improve our services in San Antonio so that the next time it happened we were a hundred times better prepared we learned from our experience so that's an example where a lot of mayors said no and we said yes and I think it was San Antonio's finest moment so to act from the heart even if we don't know the whole plan to do the right thing I just wanted to add to Susan's story that Mayor Harburg called Mayor Norbert called Ron and to give him advice about how to respond to this crisis and he said number one don't let anybody take control of the situation from you and show compassion every chance you get so I love the fact that he passed that so it goes here and that to act from the heart but to encourage another to do so so you're not standing alone these are important things to know other thoughts how does this inform our future actions of the heart can be in a personal level too I think a lot of what I got out of the group I was in was the idea of thinking more about why somebody is behaving the way that they are and recognizing that there's some kind of back story there to behavior that we might not really like and try to connect with that and humanize them more instead of just reacting to their fear or anger or whatever emotion they're showing that we're uncomfortable with and it actually reminded me of a story I'm not going to repeat the whole story too long something that happened to me where I could have gotten somebody arrested and instead I asked him to apologize to me and we ended up hugging and the sheriff was like are you sure because we can press charges and I'm like yeah I'm sure we're done this is over once I found out what his back story was all the anger I had so knowing that there's a back story can inform us and spending the time to hear it and seeing that the other person is human the way we wish to be seen as a human being ourselves other things that inform our future actions of the heart it's just encouraged me once again to remain open in the midst of all of this and to where and it's been a good experience listening to everyone else share these stories and sharing these common stories about courage or about our own fear it just ends up being where we are so often and it's good to be encouraged to stay open to that not just staying open but gathering together and sharing that can inform us as well because we also heard earlier that fear can also cause us to withdraw it might be precisely when we need to connect being open to embracing it would be anybody other ways here informed I just wanted to share my favorite quote my favorite quote lately Gerald Jomploski that I had shared before he's a psychologist from the 70s and his belief is that all emotions distill down to two basic ones it's either love or fear and everything else is a variation on that and when you encounter another person who is exhibiting anger or whatever if you can see them as a wounded fearful person I think that's an easier way to get to compassion anyone else? I heard the words paralyzing inaction in the midst of conflict or running away from it I guess the point that we came to all of us was what is it that we could possibly do in that situation how could we listen enough how could we continue to talk to each other? Thank you I'm always amazed when I come to these that it pulls out more of my subconscious than I was aware of but so we were talking about individual and I got our three questions here seem to be more related to how individually we confront fear or deal with it or see it but what came to my mind and we were talking about I don't know I think some cultural things and so I immediately go to I think we were talking about changing the name of Robert E. Lee High School and the culture that somehow seems overpowering of the individual that the culture is so much more that you know because my reaction in a lot of times in a dangerous or fearful situation is am I really going to put my body right in front of that speeding car or am I just going to call 911 you know I mean why do I have to really deal with this and that's what came to mind because not everybody would deal with it the same way and what's your name again? Gail was saying she had grown up in a small town and I said well mine was kind of small but hers was smaller and her father was the only doctor and when something came up in that community I mean they really had to you know pull together and find you know that individual way to you know come forward you couldn't just call 911 and so I think culture is something that is so overpowering from such an early age and maybe you know it takes the whole world to raise to raise the world that's not a bad note to finish on it takes the whole world to raise the world any last comment Roslyn do you have anything? No it's finished with your song I threatened to sing this song everybody join me who knows this song whenever I feel afraid I hold my head erect and whistle a happy tune so no one will suspect I'm afraid while she lean in my shoes I strike a careless pose and whistle a happy tune so no one ever knows I'm afraid the result of this deception is very strange to tell for when I fool the people I fear I fool myself as well and we'll quit thank you now past