 What? What are you doing? The fuck does it look like I'm doing? I'm leeching. Why are you in there? Because it's my fucking birthday, bitch! Happy, come in and happy birthday. Yes, come in and close the door. I want the echo to be heard. It's my birthday. And if I want to dress like a drug dealer in a movie, I can. I invented a tradition for myself that on my birthday, I wear a leisure suit to drink some wine and Julian has to make me whatever I sit. Is she judging me? If you're wondering why I'm sitting in my wine closet at night, it's because this year I chose ice cream and we had to freeze part of the ice cream maker for six hours which we did not know before. What I really want for my birthday is something I haven't had in years and I realized that it's probably kind of a little bit regional. It's black raspberry ice cream. I know I've seen it floating around in grocery stores that you can buy, but I can't buy a version that I can eat that doesn't have dairy in it or the Julian can eat. And I haven't had it since I was like, I don't know, 20 years old and I desperately want it. No one around here sells it. It's disappointing. And if you haven't had it, you're missing out. And I realized that growing up, we have like bushes of them everywhere. But we call them thimbleberries and they make an ice cream out of it called black raspberry ice cream. It's like purple. It's like just the perfect ice cream and I put chocolate sprinkles on top and it's all I really want. So I begs Julian. I woke up today and I said, bitch, if you love me, you're gonna make me some black red fairy ice cream or else. Starting the day with a threat. Guess how old I'm turning 33. I'm turning 33 the same age that Jesus made me not have died at and or I've been the age Jesus died at. So cheers to that. I don't know about you, but for my birthday, I don't want to work. I don't want to move. I don't want to do anything. I literally only put makeup on today because I also don't want to hear about what an ugly looking person I am on my birthday. So thank you for not writing those comments. I appreciate it. But you know what? I don't want to do anything. I want to watch Julian make me my childhood ice cream that I can't find anywhere. Will you please? No problem, babe. Will you also give me a thimbleberry bush so I can pick them off there in the summertime? They eat thimbleberries like when I was a child. Is it legal to do that? I don't know. Okay. I'll break the law for you. California seems to be very strict about what fruits and vegetables we can grow here. Probably for good reasons that I don't understand and don't need to. So yeah, let's go to the kitchen. Will you please carry this chair out? Guess what's under this robe? Guess. Nothing. Oh, more. An outfit made out of the same material. We're going to pretend that we have black raspberries by putting raspberries with black berries. Say that 10 times fast. I mean, I'm a little upset, but I'll allow it. Oh, sorry, that was an ad. Please don't air his kitchen. This is like my birthday. What do you want to be when you grow up? Make a wish. My wish is for nothing. Okay. My passion in life is nothing. You know what my passion is? Sitting on this butt. I've never made ice cream and you've never made ice cream, right? I made ice cream when I was a kid. You did? You know, you're an ice cream maker. Oh, I never made ice cream. Yeah, it was, it's very underwhelming because you pretty much just like put it in the ice cream maker and that's it. Does it taste good? Yeah, it tastes great. This better be good or else I'm going to be pissed. Bam. It's not black raspberries. It's black raspberries. And then you're going to take your raspberries. See, that's how special black raspberry ice cream is. We can't even buy it. We can't even buy this. We can't even buy it. You're going to take the juice of a half a lemon. How much ice cream are you making? Enough for you. Wow. He knows I want a lot. I'm sure you just use one of the lemon juicers that we have. Because I'm a chef and I have my tools. Then you're going to take a fourth a cup of sugar. Oh, yeah, give me that. For all that, you still got a lemon seed in there. No, I didn't. She just planted that in there to make me look bad. So we're going to let this cook down. This is supposed to give us like a syrupy thing. Yeah, I don't know. This is the pioneer woman's recipe. So shout out to Rijuemen, our girl. I'm Rijuemen. You know what you can get me from our birthday? What? Aside from this ice cream. Closing that drawer and like a good night's sleep where you decide to leave me alone. I love you so much. But like some peace and quiet would be wonderful. Congrats on making it 33 years. It's pretty good. Thank you. I'm really proud. A lot of it has to do with like just drinking water and like opening your eyes every day. Just doing the best you can and then going back to sleep and doing that over and over again for 33 years. Do you feel like Rijuemen? No, because she put like five egg yolks in there. Okay, so seven and five egg yolks. Do you feel like Rijuemen? No, I didn't. I don't have like 10 kids named Tad, Todd, Tayden, Tater or whatever. And I don't live on a ranch. And I'm not cooking either. What do you feel like? Keep it. Do you know what I did for my recent cooking video? What? I box jumped onto the counter. Are you serious? Wait, are you serious? On this counter? Wait, Julien, are you serious? Yeah. Okay, first of all, you can box jump that high. That's fucking dope. Congratulations. Second of all, what? You put your feet on this counter? Okay, yeah, I want to know if you're lying or not. Do it again. Approve it. No, don't, don't, don't. I'll do it. Did you really? I did. Joey. But don't worry, babe. It's before I laddered the whole entire counter in Crisco. Okay, so you're lying. No, I'm telling the exact truth. I box jumped onto that counter and then I followed the box up by lathering the counter in Crisco. Because I'm a Crisco girl. Coachella. Crisco girl, Coachella. Wait, I'm trying to figure out if you're lying to me or not. Oh, shit, bitch. Julien, stir it. I can't tell if you're being serious or not anymore. You know my box jumped up here. I feel like as I get older, I get more and more straightforward. But as you get older, it's like you just unlock the new level of trickery that I can't understand. Did you have shoes on? Yeah, be safe, babe. You want me to do a barefoot? No. That'll be for Patreon, I think. Yes, take me to feet court. I almost fell you feet, babe. First of all, it's been cooking on high heat. No, it has. This is low. If it was high heat, it would be boiling and spattering everywhere, which is how I like to cook. All of our pans keep getting ruined because you keep treating everything like it's a walk. No, babe. First of all, everything is a walk. Negative all. I don't see any ruined pans. They're all working great. Because we have to buy new ones because you ruin the old ones. It's so impressive to me how you can ruin pans. I don't ruin pans. I just make them really black on the bottom and on the top and sometimes... Some of the pans and plates and stuff in this house I've had since I was in college. That's too long. That's too long. It's not broken. I'm not getting rid of it. See, that's your character flaw. Mine is I go through things way too fast and you never go through them. Sunday is my birthday. I'm really excited. I'm going to wake up whenever I want. I'm going to do whatever I want. I feel like you're still at the age where for your birthday you like to like do stuff maybe and for my birthday I like to just not have the obligation to speak to another community. Will you say some stuff in Spanish to me for my birthday? Oh my god. Saturday Sunday is my favorite day. I think maybe. I don't know. Peechee if you want to come up here be careful. I usually only get peachy kisses in the morning but I'm still honored. Peechee be like can I hate it in the morning. Julie. Hi. Uh oh the pantry's open. There's free chips in there for her. Every time you walk somewhere they they both look at you. I'm having food for you guys. What the heck? Okay it's definitely redder than a black raspberry ice cream but I'll take it. Do you want me to add some like black food coloring? Can I eat the seeds? Ew. You know for my birthday I really like watching you sleep over something while I sit on this butt. Oh so sweet babe. So we have our raspberry syrup compote whatever the fuck and I'm going to put it in the freezer for like five minutes maybe last to just cool it off. So it's not hot? Yeah. Do you know what setting to use? Just this on off. Then why is there a dial? That's it. This is going to work. I don't know we'll see. Okay. I mean it definitely tastes like raspberry. Yeah I think that is. 35 minutes of that noise? Happy birthday! See you guys in 35 really loud minutes. Oh my god. The loudest half hour of my life. So I guess if we wanted it to really be ice cream we'd have to put it in the freezer for another like two or three hours but I don't care. Do you have time for that? No. Here it is this is our homemade fake black raspberry ice cream. Even though it's not like that purple I'm down with it I'm really excited. I know that there were big chunks of coconut milk. Oh I just put chocolate sprinkles on it. I feel like a little kid. Is it good? Can I try? It's really good. I gotta eat it fast it's gonna melt. It's really good. Yeah black raspberry is definitely more like it's a dark purple color and it's very sweet I mean but this is so really good. Do you feel like you're leeching adequately now? Yeah I've never made ice cream before. It's kind of not worth it. It like comes out not nearly as good as a store-bought ice cream but like what an exhausting half hour of that noise. Yeah and also like what an exhausting eight total hours of work. Oh you hated it? No I'm good I just don't like that flavor. I don't like fruity ice cream. We can't be friends. Happy birthday you black raspberry beast. Thank you beach. On a scale of one to ten. It's like a four. I mean I'm definitely eating it too soon like you're supposed to freeze it and let it be ice cream but even then like it needs to be sweeter. It's a four? Fuck. I even can tell it's not black raspberry. It's like too tart. God damn it. What's going on here? Oh god that is just straight coconut milk. This is why it gets so core. That's pretty good though it wasn't worth it. What I'm gonna I'm gonna get a little more of it. I just ate the whole bowl of it. It's pretty good. Watch everyone's just gonna tweet at me now after this. There's some ice cream that exists that I didn't know existed. It's different when you're making it yourself. I just wanted to watch you slave away while I sat here and lizard. Well you definitely succeeded that. Don't zoom into my feet. It's patreon only exclusive content right there. I'm really excited for my birthday because I like to do absolutely nothing. Thank you for letting me do as little as possible today because that's what I wanted. Even though most of the day today was spent trying to figure out how to use the ice cream maker. I'll make you a garbage plate on Sunday to make up for this abomination. Will you wear this outfit? Yeah I need Instagram content so whatever works. Oh my god. If I ever knew someone that said something like that to me for real I swear to god. This is a selfish video. It's a selfish day and I don't care. Aw thanks you're sweet. If you're looking for me this weekend don't talk to me. Don't bother me. Don't call me. Don't text me. I'm on the fuck available beach. So I will see you guys next week. Uh yeah I'm gonna go turn 33 overnight like that. Dang that was quick. That's amazing isn't it? Happy birthday. Oh my god. Are you kidding me? I'm like genuinely amazed that you did that but I- Not at my house! It's my birthday! How could you? Me? Wishing you a happy birthday. Cut!