 8. The Scarecrow Studies the Silver Island. Two days had passed since the Scarecrow had fallen into his kingdom. He was not finding his royal duties as pleasant as he had anticipated. The country was beautiful enough, but being emperor of the Silver Islands was not the simple affair that ruling Oz had been. The pigtail on the back of his hat was terribly distracting, and he was always tripping over his kimono, to which he could not seem to accustom himself. His subjects were extremely quarrelsome, always pulling one another's cues or stealing fruit, umbrellas, and silver polish. His ministers, the Grand Chuchu, the Chief Chao Chao, and General Mugwump, were no better, and keeping peace in the palace took all the Scarecrow's cleverness. In the daytime he tried culprits in the royal court, interviewed his seventeen secretaries, rode out in the royal palanquin, and made speeches to visiting princes. At night he sat in the Great Silver Ceylon, and by the light of the lanterns studied the Book of Ceremonies. His etiquette, the Grand Chuchu informed him, was shocking. He was always doing something wrong, dodging the imperial umbrella, speaking kindly to a palace servant, or walking unattended in the gardens. The royal palace itself was richly furnished, and the Scarecrow had more than five hundred robes of state. The gardens, with their sparkling waterfalls, glowing orange trees, silver temples, towers and bridges, were too lovely for words. Poppies, roses, lotus and other lilies perfumed the air, and at night a thousand silver lanterns turned them into a veritable fairyland. The grass and trees were green as in other lands, but the sky was always full of tiny silver clouds. The waters surrounding the island were of a lovely liquid silver, and as all the houses and towers were of this gleaming metal, the effect was bewildering and beautiful. But the silver islanders themselves were too stupid to appreciate this beauty. And what use is it all when I have no one to enjoy it with me, sighed the Scarecrow, and no time to play? In us no one thought it queer if Osma, the little queen, jumped rope with Dorothy or Betsy Bobbin, or had a quiet game of croquet with a palace cook. But here, alas, everything was different. If the Scarecrow so much as ventured a game of ball with the gardener's boy, the whole court was thrown into an uproar. At first the Scarecrow tried to please everybody, but finding that nothing pleased the people in the palace, he decided to please himself. I don't care a kinkajou if I am the emperor. I'm going to talk to whom I please. He exclaimed on the second night, and shaking his glove at a bronze statue, he threw the book of ceremonies into the fountain. The next morning, therefore, he ascended the throne with great firmness. Immediately the courtiers prostated themselves, and the Scarecrow's arms and legs blew about wildly. Stand up at once, puffed the Scarecrow, when he had regained his balance. You are giving me nervous prostration. Chew, kindly issue an edict forbidding prostrations. Anyone bowing in my presence again shall lose, the courtiers looked alarmed. His pigtail finished the Scarecrow. And now, Chew, you will take my place, please. I am going for a walk with Tappy Oko. The grand Chew Chew's mouth fell open with surprise, but seeing the Scarecrow's determined expression, he dared not disobey, and he immediately began making strange marks on a long red parchment. Happy Toko trembled as the Scarecrow emperor took his arm, and the courtiers stared at one another in dismay as the two walked quietly out into the garden. Nothing happened, however, and Tappy, regaining his composure, took out a little silver flute and started a lively tune. I had to take matters into my own hands, Tappy, said the Scarecrow, listening to the music with a pleased expression. Are there any words to that song? Yes, illustrious and supreme, sir. Two spoons went up a porcelain to meet a china saucer, a talk in china in a way to break a white man's jaw, sir, sang happy, and finished by standing gravely on his head. Your Majesty used to be very fond of this song, spluttered happy. It is difficult to speak while upside down, and if you don't think so, try it. Ah, said the Scarecrow, beginning to feel more cheerful, tell me something about myself and my family, Tappy Oko. Happy Toko, if it pleases your supreme amiability, corrected the little silver man, some are salting to a standstill beside the Scarecrow. It does and it doesn't, murmured the Scarecrow. There is something about you that reminds me of a pudding, and you tapped the drum, didn't you? I believe I shall call you Tappy Oko, if you don't mind. The Scarecrow seated himself on a silver bench in motion for the imperial punster to sit down beside him. Tappy Oko sat down fearfully, first making sure that he was not observed. Saving your imperial presence, this is not permitted, said Tappy uneasily. Never mind about my imperial presence, chuckled the Scarecrow. Tell me about my imperial past. Ah, said Tappy Oko, rolling up his eyes. You were one of the most magnificent and magnanimous of monarchs. Was I? asked the Scarecrow in a pleased voice. You distributed rice among the poor, and advice among the rich, and fought many glorious battles. Continued the little man. I composed a little song about you. Perhaps you would like to hear it? The Scarecrow nodded, and Tappy, throwing back his head, chanted with a will. Chang Wanguo did draw a bow and twist the cues of a thousand foe. In awe's, murmured the Scarecrow reflectively as Tappy finished. I twisted the necks of a flock of wild crows. That was before I had my excellent brains, too. Oh, I'm a fighting man, there's no doubt about it. But tell me, Tappy, where did I meet my wife? In the water, chuckled Tappy Oko, screwing up his eyes. The Scarecrow looked out over the harbour, and then doubted his lumpy figure. Your Majesty, forget you were then a man like me. Not stuff was straw, I mean, exclaimed happy, looking embarrassed. She was fishing, continued the little punster, when a huge silver fish became entangled in her line. She stood up, the fish gave a mighty leap, and pulled her out of the boat. Your Majesty, having seen the whole affair from the bank, plunged bravely into the water, and, swimming out, rescued her, freed the fish, and in due time made her your bride. I've made a song about that also. Let's hear it, said the Scarecrow, and this is what happy sung. Sing, sing, a silver fish's daughter was fishing in the silver water. The moon shone on her silver hair, and there were fishes everywhere. Then came a mighty silver fish. It seized her line, and with a swish, of silver fins upset her boat. Sing, sing, could neither swim nor float. She raised her silver voice in fear, and who her call of help should hear. O Chang Wang Wo, the Emperor! Who saved and married her, what's more? Did I really, asked the Scarecrow, feeling quite flattered by happy song. Yes, said happy positively, and invited me to the wedding, though I was only a small boy. Was Chu Chu there? The Scarecrow couldn't help wondering how the old nobleman had taken his marriage with a poor fisherman's daughter. He chuckled at the memory. He had a princess all picked out for you. He couldn't fight it merrily. And there he stood in awful pride, and scorned the father of the bride. Oh! roared the Scarecrow, falling off the bench. That's the ozziest thing I've heard since I landed in the Silver Islands. Tappy, my boy, I think we're going to be friends. But let's forget the past, and think of the present. The Scarecrow embraced his imperial punster on the spot. Let's find something jolly to do, he suggested. Would your extreme highness care for kites? asked Tappy. Tis a favorite sport here. Would I? But wait, I will disguise myself. Seeing his royal hat under the bench, he put on happy Toko's broad-rimmed peasant hat. It turned down all round and almost hit his face. Then he turned his robe inside out and declared himself ready. They passed through a small silver town before they reached the field where the kites were to be flown, and the Scarecrow was delighted with its picturesque and quaint appearance. The streets were narrow and full of queer shops. Silver lanterns and little penance hung from each door. The merchants and maidens and their gay sedans and the people afoot made a bright and lively picture. If I could just live here instead of in the palace, mused the Scarecrow, pausing before a modest rice shop. It is dangerous to stop in the narrow streets, and happy jerked his master aside just in time to prevent his being trodden on by a huge camel. It sniffed at the Scarecrow suspiciously, and they were forced to flatten themselves against a wall to let it pass. Happy anxiously hurried the emperor through the town, and they soon arrived at the kite-flying field. A great throng had gathered to watch the exhibition, and there were more kites than one would see in a lifetime here. Huge fish, silver paper dragons, birds, every sort and shape of kite was tugging at its string, and hundreds of silver islanders, boys, girls, and grown-ups were looking on. How interesting! said the Scarecrow, fascinated by a huge dragon that floated just over his head. I wish Dorothy could see this. I do indeed. But the dragon kite seemed almost alive, and horrors, just as it swooped down, a hook in the tail caught in the Scarecrow's collar, and before Happy Toko could even wink, the emperor of the silver islands was sailing towards the clouds. The Scarecrow, as you must know, weighs almost nothing, and the people shouted with glee, for they thought him a dummy man and part of the performance. But Happy Toko ran after the kite as fast as his fat little legs would carry him. Alas, alas! I shall lose my position! wailed Happy Toko, quite convinced that the Scarecrow would be dashed to pieces on the rocks. Oh, putty head that I am to set myself against the grand choo-choo! The Scarecrow, however, after recovering from the first shock, began to enjoy himself. Holding fast to the dragon's tail, he looked down with great interest upon his dominions. Mountains, tall silver pagodas, drooping willow trees, flashed beneath him. Truly a beautiful island! His gaze strayed over the silver waters surrounding the island, and he was astonished to see a great fleet sailing into the harbour, a great fleet of singular vessels with silken sails. What's this? thought the Scarecrow. But just then the dragon kite became suddenly possessed. It jerked him up, it jerked him down, and shook him this way and that. His hat flew off, his arms and legs whirled wildly, and pieces of straw began to float downward. Then the hook ripped and tore through his coat, and, making a terrible slit in his back, came out. Down, down, down flashed the Scarecrow, and landed in a heap on the rocks. Poor Happy Tocco rushed toward him with streaming eyes. Oh radiant and immortal Scarecrowcus, what have they done to you? he moaned, dropping on his knees beside the flimsy shape of the emperor. Merely knocked out my honorable stuffing, mumbled the Scarecrow. Now Tappy, my dear fellow, will you just turn me over? There's a rock in my eye that keeps me from thinking. Happy Tocco, at the sound of a voice from the rumpled heap of clothing, gave a great leap. Is there any straw about? asked the Scarecrow anxiously. Why don't you turn me over? It's his ghost! moaned Happy Tocco, and because he dared not disobey a royal ghost, he turned the Scarecrow over with trembling hands. Don't be alarmed, said the Scarecrow, smiling reassuringly. I'm not breakable like you meet people. A little straw will make me good as new. A little straw. Straw, do you hear? For Happy's pigtail was still on end, and he was shaking so that his silver shoes clattered on the rocks. I command you to fetch straw! cried the Scarecrow at last in an angry voice. Happy dashed away. When he returned with an arm full of straw, the Scarecrow managed to convince him that he was quite alive. It is impossible to kill a person from Oz, he explained proudly, and that is why my present figure is so much more satisfactory than yours. I do not have to eat or sleep and can always be repaired. Have you some safety pins? Happy produced several, and under the Scarecrow's direction stuffed out his chest and pinned up his wrents. Lettuce returned, said the Scarecrow. I've had enough pleasure for one day, and can't you sing something, Tappy? Running in fright had somewhat affected Happy's voice, but he squeaked out a funny little song, and the two, keeping time to the tune, came without further mishap to the Imperial Gardens. Happy had just set the royal hat upon the Scarecrow's head and brushed off his robes when a company of courtiers dashed out of the palace door and came running toward them. Great cornstarch! exclaimed the Scarecrow, sitting heavily down on the silver bench. What's the matter now? Here are all the pig heads on the island, and look how old Choo-Choo is puffing! One would expect a Choo-Choo to puff, observed Happy slyly. One would, but he got no further, for the whole company was upon them. Save us! save us! wailed the courtiers, forgetting the royal edict and falling on their faces. What from? asked the Scarecrow, holding fast to the silver bench. The King! the King of the Golden Islands! shrieked the Grand Choo-Choo. Oh, yes! murmured the Scarecrow, frowning thoughtfully. Was that his fleet coming into the harbor? The Grand Choo-Choo jumped up in astonishment. How could your Highness see the fleet from here? he stuttered. Not from here? there! said the Scarecrow, pointing upward and winking at Happy Tocco. My Highness goes very high, you see! Your Highness does not seem to realize the seriousness of the matter! choked the Grand Choo-Choo. He will set fire to the island and make us all slaves. At this the courtiers began banging their heads distractedly on the grass. Set fire to the island! exclaimed the Scarecrow, jumping to his feet. Then peace to my ashes! Tappy, will you see that they are sent back to Oz? Save us! save us! screamed the frightened Silverman. The prophecy of the Beanstalk has promised that you would save us. You are the Emperor, Chang Wang Woe! persisted the Grand Choo-Choo, waving his long arms. Woe is me! murmured the Scarecrow, clasping his yellow gloves. But let me think. End of Chapter 8 Chapter 9 of the Royal Book of Oz The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson. Chapter 9 Save us with your magic, Exalted One. For several minutes the Scarecrow sat perfectly still while the company stood shaking in their shoes. Then he asked loudly, Where is the Imperial Army? He has retired to the caves at the end of the island, quavered the Grand Choo-Choo. I thought as much, said the Scarecrow. But never mind, there are quite a lot of us. Us, spluttered a tall Silverman indignantly, We are not common soldiers. No, uncommon ones, but you have hard heads and long nails, and I daresay will manage somehow. Come on, let's go. Choo, you may take the lead. Go! shrieked the Grand Choo-Choo. Us! the courtiers began backing away an alarm. Where—what are your Highness's plans? Why, just to conquer the King of the Golden Islands and send him back home, said the Scarecrow, smiling engagingly. That's what you wanted, isn't it? But it is not honourable for noblemen to fight it. Oh, of course, if you prefer burning. The Scarecrow rose unsteadily and started for the garden gates. Not a person stirred. The Scarecrow looked back, and his reproachful face was too much for happy toco. I'll come, exalted and radiant Scarecrow-cus. Wait, honourable and valiant, sir. Bring a watering-can if you love me, called the Scarecrow over his shoulder, and happy, snatching one from a frightened gardener dashed after his master. If things get too hot, I'd like to know that you can put me out, said the Scarecrow, his voice quivering with emotion. You shall be rewarded for this, my brave Tappy. Happy did not answer, for his teeth were chattering so he could not speak. The harbor laid just below the Imperial Palace, and the Scarecrow and happy hurried on through the crowds of fleeing silvermen, their household goods packed upon their heads. Some cheered faintly for Chang Wang Wo, but none offered to follow, save the faithful happy. Is this king old? asked the Scarecrow, looking anxiously at the small boats full of warriors that were putting out from the fleet. He is the son of the king whom your majesty conquered fifty years ago. Gulp, Tappy. Has your Imperial Highness any plan? Not yet, said the Scarecrow cheerfully, but I'm thinking very hard. Then goodbye to Silver Island, choked happy Toco, dropping the watering-can with a crash. Never mind, said the Scarecrow kindly. If they shoot me and I catch fire, I'll jump in the water, and you must fish me out, Tappy. Now please don't talk any more. I must think. Poor happy Toco had nothing else to say, for he considered his day finished. The first of the invaders were already landing on the beach, and standing up in a small boat encased in glittering gold armor was the king of the Golden Islands himself. The sun was quite hot, and there was a smell of gunpowder in the air. Now the Scarecrow had encountered many dangers and odds, and had usually thought his way out of them. But as they came nearer and nearer to the shore, and no idea presented itself, he began to feel extremely nervous. A bullet fired from the king's boat tore through his hat, and the smoke made him more anxious than ever about his straw stuffing. He felt hurriedly in his pocket, and his clumsy fingers closed over the little fan he had plucked from the bean-pole. Partly from agitation, and partly because he did not know what else to do, the Scarecrow flipped the fan open. At that minute a mighty roar went up from the enemy, for at the first motion of the fan they had been jerked fifty feet into the air, and there they hung suspended over their ships, kicking and squealing for dear life. The Scarecrow was as surprised as they, and as for Happy Toko, he fell straightway on his nose. �Magic!� exclaimed the Scarecrow. �Someone is helping us!� and he began fanning himself gently with the little fan, waiting to see what would happen next. At each wave of the fan, the king of the Golden Islands and his men flew higher until at last not one of them could be seen from the shore. �The fan! The magic is in the fan!� gasped Happy Toko, jumping up and embracing the Scarecrow. �Why, what do you mean?� asked the Scarecrow, closing the fan with a snap. Happy's answer was drowned in a huge splash. As soon as the fan was closed, down whirled the king's army into the sea, and each man struck the water with such force that the spray rose high as a skyscraper. And not till then did the Scarecrow realize the power of the little fan he had been saving for Dorothy. �Saved!� cried Happy Toko, dancing up and down. �Hurrah for the emperor!� �The emperor, without a plan, has won the victory with a fan!� The Silver Islanders had paused in their flight at the queer noises coming from the harbor, and now all of them, hearing Tappy Oko's cries, came crowding down to the shore and were soon cheering themselves, horse! No wonder the drenched soldiers of the king were climbing swiftly back into their boats, and when they were all aboard the Scarecrow waved his fan sideways, he did not want to blow them up again. And the ship swept out of the harbor so fast that the water churned to silver suds behind them, and they soon were out of sight. �Ah!� cried the Grand Chuchu, arriving breathlessly at this point. �We have won the day!� �So we have� chuckled the Scarecrow, putting his arm around Happy Toko. �Call the brave army and decorate the generals. �It shall be done� said the Grand Chuchu, frowning at Happy. �There shall be a great celebration, a feast, and fireworks.� �Fireworks!� quavered the Scarecrow, clutching his imperial punster. By this time the silver islanders were crowding around the emperor, shouting and squealing for joy, and before he could prevent it, they had placed him on their shoulders and carried him in triumph to the palace. He managed to signal Happy, and Happy nodded reassuringly and ran off as fast as his fat little legs could patter. He arrived at the palace almost as soon as the Scarecrow, lugging a giant silver watering can, and, sitting calmly on the steps of the throne, fanned himself with his hat. The Scarecrow eyed the watering can with satisfaction. �Now let them have their old fireworks� he muttered under his breath and settled himself comfortably. The Grand Chuchu was hopping about like a ditched kite, arranging for the celebration. The courtiers were shaking hands with themselves and forming in a long line. A great table was being set in the hall. �What a fuss they are making over nothing� said the Scarecrow to Happy Toko. �Now in Oz, when we win a victory, we all play some jolly game and sit down to dinner with Osma. Why, they haven't even set a place for you, Happy.� �I'd rather sit here, amiable master� sighed Happy Toko happily. �Is the little fan safely closed?� The Scarecrow felt in his pocket to make sure, then leaned forward in surprise. The royal silver army were marching stiffly into the hall, and the courtiers were bobbing and bowing and cheering like mad. The general came straight to the great silver throne, clicked his silver heels, bowed, and stood at attention. �Well� said the Scarecrow, surveying the splendid person curiously. �What is it?� �They have come for their decorations� announced the Grand Chuchu, stepping up with a large silver platter full of metals. �But I thought Tappy Oko and I saved the island� chuckled the Scarecrow, nudging the Imperial punster. �Had the Imperial army not retired and left the field to you, there would have been no victory� faltered the general in a timid voice. �Therefore, in a way we are responsible for the victory, a great general always knows when to retire.� �There�s something in that� admitted the Scarecrow, scratching his head thoughtfully. �Go ahead and decorate them, Chuchu.� This the Grand Chuchu proceeded to do, making such a long speech to each soldier that half of the court fell asleep and the Scarecrow fidgeted uncomfortably. �They remind me of the Army of Oz� he confided to Tappy Oko. �But we never have long speeches in Oz. I declare, I wish I could go to sleep too, and that�s something I have never seen any use in before.� �They�ve just begun� yawned Tappy Oko, nearly rolling down the steps of the throne, and happy was not far wrong, for all afternoon, one after the other of the courtiers arose and droned about the great victory, and as they all addressed themselves to the Scarecrow, he was forced to listen politely. When the speeches were over, there was still the grand banquet to be got through, and as the silver islanders ate much the same fare as their Chinese cousins, you can imagine the poor Scarecrow�s feelings. �Ugh!� shivered the Scarecrow as the strange dishes appeared. �I�m glad none of my friends are here. How fortunate that I�m stuffed with straw!� The broiled mice, the stewed shark fins, and the bird-nest soup made him stare. He had ordered happy Toko to be placed at his side, and to watch him happily at work with his silver chopsticks and porcelain spoon was the only satisfaction he got out of the feast. �And what is that?� he asked, pointing to a steaming bowl that had just been placed before happy. �Mince cat, your highness!� replied happy, sprinkling it generously with silver polish. �Cat!� shrieked the Scarecrow, pouncing to his feet in horror. �Do you mean to tell me that you are eating a poor innocent little cat?� �Not a poor one at all, a very rich one, I should say�� replied happy Toko with his mouth full. �Ah, had your highness only your old body, how you would enjoy this!� �Never� shouted the Scarecrow so loudly that all of the courtiers looked up in surprise. �How dare you eat innocent cats!� Indignantly he thought of Dorothy's pet kitten back in Oz. �Oz, why had he ever left that wonderful country?� �Your highness has eaten hundreds� announced the grand chuchu calmly. �Hundreds!� The Scarecrow dropped back into his chair, too shocked for speech. He, the Scarecrow of Oz, had eaten hundreds of cats. What would Dorothy say to that? �This was his first experience with Silver Island Fair. He had always spent the dinner hours in the garden. He sighed and looked wistfully at the bean-pole in the center of the hall. Every minute he was feeling less and less like the emperor of the Silver Island, and more and more like the plain Scarecrow of Oz. �Your majesty seems out of spirits� said happy Toko as he placed himself on the large watering can beside the emperor's bench in the garden later in the evening. �I wish I were� said the Scarecrow. �To have an emperor's spirit wished on you is no joke, my dear Tappy. It�s a blinking bore.� At that moment the fireworks commenced. The garden, a blaze with many shaped silver lanterns, looked more like fairyland than ever. But each rocket made the Scarecrow wince. Spears of stars and butterflies fell round his head, fiery dragons leaped over the trees, and in all the Fourth of July celebrations you could imagine there were never such marvelous fireworks as these. No wonder happy Toko, gazing in delight, forgot his promises to his royal master. Soon the Scarecrow's fears were realized, and his straw stuffing began to smoke. �Put me out! Put me out!� cried the Scarecrow as a shower of sparks settled in his lap. The royal band made such a din and the courtiers such a clatter that happy did not hear. All of the silver islanders were intent on the display, and they forgot all about their unhappy and smoking emperor. �Help! Water! Water! Fire!� screamed the Scarecrow, jumping off his throne and knocking happy head over heels. Thus brought to his senses, happy hurriedly seized the watering can and sprinkled its contents on the smoking emperor. �Am I out?� gasped the emperor anxiously. �A fine way to celebrate a victory, lighting me up like a roaming candle!� �Yes, dear master� said the repentant happy, helping the dripping Scarecrow to his feet. �It only scorched your royal robe, and it's all over anyway. Let us go in.� The dripping emperor was quite ready to follow his imperial punsters' advice. �Now that I am put out, let us by all means go in� said the Scarecrow gloomily, and the two slipped off without anyone noticing their departure. �I'm afraid I'll have to have some new stuffing tomorrow� observed the Scarecrow, sinking dejectedly on his throne. �Tap me, my dear boy! After this, never leave me alone, do you hear?� Happy Toko made no reply. He had fallen asleep beside the imperial throne. The Scarecrow might have called his court, but he was in no mood for more of the Silver Islander's idea of a good time. He longed for the dear friends of his loved land of oz. One by one the lights winked out in the gardens, and the noisy company dispersed, and soon no one in the palace was awake but the Scarecrow. His straw was wet and soggy, and even his excellent brains felt damp and dull. If it were for Tapioco, how lonely I should be!� He stared through the long, dim, empty hall with its shimmering silver screens and vases. �I wonder what little Dorothy is doing� sighed the Scarecrow wistfully.� Dorothy must be having a lovely time at the Scarecrow�s marked Betsy Bobbin to Osmo one afternoon as they sat reading in the royal gardens several days after Dorothy's departure from the Emerald City of Oz. �One always has a jolly time at the Scarecrow�s� laughed the little Queen of Oz. �I must look in my magic picture and see what they are doing.� Too bad she missed the ABC serpent in Rattlesnakes! Weren�t they the funniest creatures? Both the little girls, for Osmo is really just a little girl, went off into a gale of laughter. The two queer creatures had followed the Scarecrow�s advice, and had spent their vacation in the Emerald City, and partly because they were so dazzled by their surroundings, and partly because they have no sort of memories whatever. They never mentioned the Scarecrow himself, or said anything about his plan to haunt his family tree. They talked incessantly of the Mer�t City, and told innumerable ABC stories to scraps and the Tin Woodmen and the children of the Emerald City. When they were ready to go, the ABC serpent snapped off its X-block for Osmo. �X�� he said, �meant almost everything�, and pretty well expressed his gratitude to the lovely little ruler of Oz. Osmo in turn gave each of the visitors an emerald collar, and that very morning they had started back to the Munchkin River, and all the celebrities of Oz had gotten up to see them off. �Maybe they�ll come again sometime�, said Betsy Bobbin, swinging her feet. �But look, Osmo, here comes a messenger.� A messenger it surely was, dressed in the quaint red costume of the quadlings. It was from Glinda, the good sorceress, and caused the princess to sigh with vexation. �Tell Jack Pumpkinhead to harness the saw-horse to the red wagon�, said Osmo after glancing hastily at the little note. �The horners and hoppers are at war again, and tell the wizard to make ready for a journey.� �May I come too?� asked Betsy. Osmo nodded with a troubled little frown, and Betsy bustled off importantly. Not many little girls are called upon to help settle wars and rule a country as wonderful as Oz. The horners and hoppers are a quarrelsome and curious folk living in the quadling mountains, and soon Osmo, Jack Pumpkinhead, Betsy and the Wizard of Oz were rattling off at the best speed the saw-horse could manage. This was pretty fast, for the little horse being made of wood and magically brought to life never tires and could outrun anything on legs in the fairy kingdom of Oz. But the fact that interests us is that Osmo did not look in the magic picture or see what exciting adventures the Scarecrow and Dorothy really were having. As for Professor Waggobug, who had caused all the trouble, he was busily at work on the twelfth chapter of the Royal Book of Oz, which he had modestly headed H. M. Waggobug T. E., Prince of Bugs, cultured and eminent educator, and also great-grand and general genealogist of Oz. End of Chapter 11 of The Royal Book of Oz This leaper-box recording is in the public domain and is read by Mark Smith of Somesville, South Carolina. The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson Chapter 11 Sir Hocus Overcometh the Giant I don't believe we'll ever find the way out of this forest. Dorothy stopped with the discouraged little sigh and leaned against a tree. They had followed the road for several hours. First it had been fine and wide, but it had gradually dwindled to a crooked little path that wound crazily in and out through the trees. Although it was almost noonday, not a ray of sun penetrated through the dim green depths. Me thinks, said Sir Hocus, peering into the gloom ahead, that a great adventure is at hand. The cowardly lion put back his ears. What makes you me think so? he rumbled anxiously. Hark thee! said Sir Hocus, holding up his finger warningly. From a great way off sounded a curious thumping. It was coming nearer and nearer. Good gracious! cried Dorothy, catching hold of the cowardly lion's mane. This is worse than pokes. Perchance it is a dragon! exalted the night, drawing his short sword. Ah, how it would refresh me to slay a dragon. I don't relish dragons myself. Scorch my tongue on one once, said the cowardly lion huskily. But I'll fight with you, Brother Hocus. Stand back, Dorothy dear. As the thuds grew louder, the night fairly danced up and down with excitement. Approach, villain! he roared lustily. Approach till I impaled thee all my lance. Ah, had I but a horse. I'd let you ride on my back if it weren't for that hard tin suit, said the cowardly lion. But cheer up, my dear Hocus. Your voice is a little hoarse. Dorothy giggled nervously, then seized hold of a small tree for the whole forest was rocking. How now! gassed the night. There was a terrific quake that threw Sir Hocus on his face, and set every hair in the lion's mane on end, and then a great foot came crashing down through the treetops, not three paces from the little party. Before they could even swallow, a giant hand flashed downward, jerked up a handful of trees by the roots, and disappeared while a voice from somewhere way above shouted, What are little humans for? To feed the giant Bangalore. Broiled or toasted, baked or roasted, I smell three or maybe four. You hear that, quavered the cowardly lion. Sir Hocus did not answer. His helmet had been jammed down by his fall, and he was tugging it upward with both hands. Frightened though Dorothy was, she ran to the night's assistance. Have at you! cried Sir Hocus, as soon as the opening in his helmet was opposite his eyes. Forward! My heart is beating a retreat, gulped the cowardly lion, but he bounded boldly after Sir Hocus. Varlet! hissed the night, and raising his sword gave a mighty slash at the giant's ankle, which was brought as three tree-trunks, while the cowardly lion gave a great spring and sank his teeth in the giant's huge leg. Out! roared the giant in a voice that shook every leaf in the forest. You stop, or I'll tell my father. With that he gave a hop that sent Sir Hocus flying into the treetops, stumbled over a huge rock, and came crashing to the earth, smashing trees like grass blades. At the giant's first scream, Dorothy shut her eyes, and putting her hands over her ears, had run as far and as fast as she could. At the awful crash, she stopped short, opened her eyes, and stared round giddily. The giant was flat on his back, but he was stretched as far as four city blocks, only half of him was visible. The cowardly lion still clung to his leg, and he was gurgling and struggling in a way Dorothy could not understand. She looked around in a panic for the night. Just then Sir Hocus dropped from the branch of a tree. Ud's daggers! he puffed, looking roofily at his sword, which had snapped off at the handle. Tis a pretty rogue. Don't you think we'd better run? shivered Dorothy, thinking of the giant's song. Not while I wear these colors, exclaimed Sir Hocus proudly touching Dorothy's hair ribbon, which still adorned his arm. Come, my good lion, let us dispatch this braggart and saucy monster. Father! Screamed the giant, making no attempt to move. He seems to be frightened himself, whispered Dorothy to the night. But whatever is the matter with the cowardly lion? At that minute the cowardly lion gave a great jerk and began backing with his four feet braced. The piece of giant leg that he had holed of stretched and stretched, and while Sir Hocus and Dorothy stared in amazement, it snapped off and the cowardly lion rolled head over paws. Taffy! roared the cowardly lion, sitting up and trying to open his jaws, which were firmly stuck together. Taffy! At this Sir Hocus sprang nimbly on the giant's leg, ran up his chest and perched bravely on his peppermint collar. Surrender, Nave! He demanded threateningly. Dorothy, saying she could do nothing to help the cowardly lion, followed. On her way up she broke off a tiny piece of his coat and found it most delicious chocolate. Why, he's all made of candy! She cried excitedly. Oh, hush! sobbed the giant, rolling his great sour-ball eyes. I'd be eating in a minute if it were known. You were mighty anxious to eat us a while ago, said Dorothy, looking longingly at the giant's coat buttons. They seemed to be large marshmallows. Go away! screamed the giant, shaking so that Dorothy slid into his vest pocket. No one under forty feet is allowed in this forest. Dorothy climbed crossly out of the giant's pocket. We didn't come because we wanted to. She assured him, wiping the chocolate off her nose. Odds, bodicons! I cannot fight a great baby like this! sighed Sir Hocus, dodging just in time a great sugary tear that had rolled down the giant's nose. He's got to apologize for that song, though. Wait! cried Dorothy suddenly. I have an idea. If you set us down on the edge of the forest and give us all your vest buttons for lunch, we won't tell anyone you're made of candy. We'll let you go. She called loudly for the giant had begun to sob again. Won't you? Will you? sniffed the foolish giant. Never sing that song again! commanded the night sternly. No, sir. answered the giant meekly. Did your dog chew much of my leg, sir? Then, before Dorothy or Sir Hocus had time to say a word, they were snatched up in sticky fingers, and next minute were dropped with a thump in a large field of daisies. Oh! spluttered Dorothy as the giant made off on his taffy legs. Oh! we've forgotten the cowardly lion. But at that minute the giant reappeared, and the lion was dropped beside them. What's this? What's this? growled the cowardly lion, looking around wildly. We got him to lift us out of the forest, explained Dorothy. Have you swallowed the taffy? The lion was still dizzy from his ride and only shook his head feebly. Sir Hocus sighed and sat heavily down on a large rock. There is no sort of honour, me thinks, in overcoming a candy giant. He observed, looking wistfully at the plume still pinned to Dorothy's dress. Ah! had it but been a proper fight! You didn't know he was candy. I think you were just splendid. Jumping up, Dorothy fastened the plume in the night's helmet. And you're talking just beautifully, more like a night every minute, she added with conviction. Sir Hocus tried not to look pleased. Give me a meat-enemy, my teeth ache yet. First singing, then candy-leg pulling. Grr, what next? growled the cowardly lion. Why, lunch, if you feel like eating, said Dorothy, beginning to give out the vest buttons which the giant had obediently ripped off and left for them. They were marshmallows the size of pie plates, and Dorothy and Sir Hocus found them quite delicious. The cowardly lion, however, after a doubtful sniff and sneeze from the powdered sugar, declined and went off to find something more to his taste. We had better take some of these along, said Dorothy when she and Sir Hocus had eaten several. We may need them later. Everything is yellow, so we must be in the winky country. Announced the cowardly lion, who had just returned from his lunch, there's a road too. May Hapit will take us to the jeweled city of your gracious queen. Sir Hocus shaded his eyes and stared curiously at the long lanes stretching invitingly ahead of them. Well, anyway, we're out of the forest and pokes, and maybe we'll meet someone who will tell us about the scarecrow. Come on, cried Dorothy Gailey. I think we're on the right track this time. End of chapter, chapter 12 of The Royal Book of Oz. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain and is read by Mark Smith of Simpsonville, South Carolina. The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson. Chapter 12, Dorothy and Sir Hocus come to Fix City. The afternoon went pleasantly for the three travelers. The road was wide and shady and really seemed a bit familiar. Dorothy rode comfortably on the cowardly lion's back and, to pass the time, told Sir Hocus all about Oz. He was particularly interested in the scarecrow. Cramersy, he should be knighted! He exclaimed, slapping his knee, as Dorothy told how the clever strawman had helped out with the gnome king when that wicked little rascal had tried to keep them prisoners in his underground kingdom. But go to, where is the gallant man now? The knight sobered quickly. May happen need of a strong arm. May happen the mercy of some terrible monster. Oh, I hope not, cried Dorothy, dismayed at so dark a picture. Why, oh, why did he bother about his family tree? Trust the scarecrow to take care of himself, said the cowardly lion in a gruff voice. Nevertheless, he quickened his steps. The sooner we reach the Emerald City, the sooner we'll know where he is. The country through which they were passing was beautiful, but quite deserted. About five o'clock they came to a clear little stream, and after Dorothy and Sir Hocus had washed their faces and the cowardly lion had taken a little plunge, they all felt refreshed. Later they came to a fine pair orchard, and as no one was about, they helped themselves generously. The more Dorothy and the cowardly lion saw of Sir Hocus, the fonder of him they grew. He was so kind-hearted and so polite. He'll be great company for us back in the Emerald City, whispered the cowardly lion as the knight went off to get Dorothy a drink from a little spring. That is, if he forgets his grammar, see, bludgeon stuff. I think it sounds lovely, said Dorothy, and he's remembering more of it all the time, but I wonder why there are no people here. I do hope we meet some before night. But no person did they meet. As it grew darker, Sir Hocus's armor began to creak in a quite frightful manner. Armor is not meant for walking, and the poor knight was stiff and tired, but he made no complaint. Need-oiling, don't you? Asked the cowardly lion, peering anxiously at him through the gloom. Joints in my armor a bit rusty! Puffed Sir Hocus, easing one foot and then the other. Ah, had I a good horse! He expressively waved a piece of the giant's button at which he had been nibbling. Better climb up behind Dorothy! Advised the cowardly lion, but Sir Hocus shook his head, for he knew the lion was tired too. I'll manage famously. This very night I may find me a steed. Oh! asked the lion with a yawn. If I sleep beneath these trees, I may have a nightmare. Chuckled Sir Hocus triumphantly. Roared the cowardly lion while Dorothy clapped her hands, but they were not to sleep beneath the trees after all, for a sudden turn in the road brought them right to the gates of another city. They knew it must be a city because a huge lighted sign hung over the gate. Fixed city, read Dorothy, what a funny name. Maybe they can fix us up! Rumbled the lion, winking at Sir Hocus. Perchance we shall hear news of the valiant scarecrow, cried the knight, and limping forward he thumped on the gate with his mailed fist. Dorothy and the cowardly lion pressed close behind him and waited impatiently for someone to open the gate. A bell rang loud back in the town. The next instant the gates flew open so suddenly that the three adventurers were flung violently on their faces. Out upon them! Blustered Sir Hocus, getting up stiffly and running to help Dorothy. What way is this to welcome strangers? They pulled the little girl hastily to her feet, then they all ran forward for the gates were swinging shut again. It was almost as light as day, for lanterns were everywhere, but strangely enough they seemed to dart about like huge fireflies, and Dorothy ducked involuntarily as a red one bobbed down almost in her face. Then she gaffed in real earnest and caught hold of Sir Hocus. Hood-staggers! wheezed the knight. Two large bushes were running down the path, and right in front of Dorothy the larger caught the smaller and began pulling out its leaves. Leave off! leave off! screamed the little bush. That's what I'm doing! said the big bush savagely. There won't be a leaf on when I get through with you. Unhand him, villain! cried Sir Hocus, waving his sword at the large bush. The two bushes looked up in surprise, and when they saw Dorothy, the cowardly lion, and Sir Hocus, they fell into each other's branches and burst into the most uproarious laughter. My dear Magnolia, this is rich! Oh, dear fellow, wait till Sit sees this! He will be convulsed! ha-ha-ha! Quite forgetting their furious quarrel, the two went rollicking down the path together, stopping every few minutes to look back and laugh at the three strangers. Is this usual? asked Sir Hocus, looking quite dazed. I never heard of bushes talking or running around, but I confess I'm a few centuries behind times. Neither did I, exclaimed Dorothy, but then almost anything's likely to happen in Oz. If these lanterns don't look out, something will happen. I'll break them to bits, growled the cowardly lion, who had been dodging half a dozen at once. How would we look out, sniffed one, flying at Dorothy? You could light out, ha-ha-ha, or go out, giggled the little girl. We never go out unless we're put out, cried another, but as the cowardly lion made a few springs, they flew high into the air and began talking indignantly among themselves. By this time the three had become accustomed to the changing lights. I wonder where the people are, said Dorothy, peering down a wide avenue. There don't seem to be any houses. Oh, look! Three tables set for dinner were the most appetizing vions were walking jauntily down the street, talking fluent China. There must be people, cried Dorothy. One dinner for each of us. Rumbled the cowardly lion, licking his chops. Come on! Perchance they will invite us. If we follow the dinners, we'll come to the diners, said Sir Hocus mildly. Right as usual. The cowardly lion looked embarrassed, for he had intended pouncing on the tables without further ceremony. Hush! Let's go quietly. If they hear us, they may run and upset the dishes. Warned Dorothy. So the three walked softly after the dinner tables, their curiosity about the people of Fix growing keener at every step. Several chairs, a sofa, and a clothes tree rushed past them, but as Dorothy said later to Osma, after talking bushes, nothing surprised them. The tables turned the corner at the end of the avenue, three abreast, and the sight that greeted Dorothy and her comrades was strange indeed. Down each side of a long street, as far as they could see, stood rows and rows of people. Each one was in the exact center of a chalked circle, and they were so still that Dorothy thought they must be statues. But no sooner had the three tables made their appearance than bells began ringing furiously all up and down the street, and dinner tables and chairs came running from every direction. All the inhabitants of Fix City looked alike. They had large round heads, broad placid faces, double chins, and no wastes whatever. Their feet were flat in about three times as long as the longest you have ever seen. The women wore plain mother-hubbered dresses and straw sailor hats, and the men gingham suits. While the three friends were observing all this, the tables had been taking their places. One stopped before each fix and the chairs, after much bumping and quarreling, placed themselves properly. At a signal from the Fix in the center, the whole company sat down without so much as moving their feet. Dorothy, Sir Hocus, and the Cowardly Lion had been too interested to speak, but at this minute a whole flock of the mischievous lanterns clustered over their heads, and at the sudden glare of light the whole street stopped eating and stared. Oh, cried the Fix nearest them, pointing with his fork. Look at the rudder-bouts. This way, please, this way, please. Don't bark your shins. Don't take any more steps than you can help. Boomed an important voice from the middle of the street. So down the center marched the three, feeling, as the Cowardly Lion put it, exactly like a circus. Stop, names, please. The Fix next to the center put up his knife commandingly. Sir Hocus stepped forward with a bow. Princess Dorothy of Oz, the Cowardly Lion of Oz, and Sir Hocus of Pokes roared the lion as the knight modestly stepped back without announcing himself. Sir Pocus of Hokes, Howardly Cayenne of Buzz, and Little Girl Beginning with D, bellowed the Fix, meet his royal highness, King Fixit, and the noble Fixatives. Little Girl Beginning with D, that's too long, complained the king, who with the exception of his crown looked like all the rest of them. I'll leave out the middle. What do you want, Little with D? My name is Dorothy, and if your highness could give us some dinner and tell us something about the Scarecrow, and one thing at a time, please, said the king reprovingly, what does poker want and buzz? Have they anything to spend? Only the knight, and it please your gracious highness, said Sir Hocus with his best bow. It doesn't please me, especially, said the king, taking a sip of water. And there you brought up another question. How do you want to spend it? He folded his hands helplessly on the table and looked appealingly at the fix next to him. How am I to settle all these questions, Sticken? First they come running around like crazy chairs, and you might ring for a settle, suggested Sticken looking curiously at Sir Hocus. The king leaned back with a sigh of relief, then touched a bell. There were at least twenty bells sat on a high post at his right hand and all of the fixes seemed to have similar bell posts. He's talking perfect nonsense, said Dorothy angrily. The cowardly lion began to roll his eyes ominously. Let me handle this, my dear. I'm used to kings, whispered Sir Hocus. Most of them talk nonsense, but if he grows wroth, we'll have all the furniture in the place around our ears. Now just bump! Sir Hocus and Dorothy sat down quite suddenly. The settle had arrived and hit them smartly behind the knees. The cowardly lion dodged just in time and lay down with a growl beside it. Now that yours settled, began the king in a resigned voice, we might try again. What is your motto? This took even Sir Hocus by surprise, but before he could answer the king snapped out, come late and stay early, how's that? Very good, said Sir Hocus with a wink at Dorothy. Next time don't come at all. Mumbled stick and plaster, his mouth full of biscuit. And you wanted, the king asked uneasily. Dinner for three, said the knight promptly and with another bow. Now that's talking. The king looked admiringly at Sir Hocus. This little with D had matters all tangled up. One thing at a time, that's my motto. Leaning over, the king pressed another button. By this time the fixes had lost interest in the visitors and went calmly on with their dinners. Three tables came pattering up and the settle drew itself up of its own accord. Dorothy placed the cowardly lion's dinner on the ground and then she and Sir Hocus enjoyed the first good meal they had had since they left pokes. They were gradually becoming used to their strange surroundings. You asked him about the scarecrow, begged Dorothy. Everybody had finished and the tables were withdrawing in orderly groups. The king was leaning sleeply back in his chair. I am, began the night rising stiffly. Has your majesty seen ought of a noble scarecrow and could your supreme fixity tell us ought? The king's eyes opened. You're out of turn, he interrupted crossly. We're only to the second question. How will you spend the night? In sleep, answered Sir Hocus promptly, if your majesty permits. I do, said the king solemnly. That gets me out of entertaining. Early to bed and late to rise, that's my motto. Next, it's your turn, he added irritably as Sir Hocus did not immediately answer. Have you seen ought of the noble scarecrow? Asked Sir Hocus and all of them waited anxiously for the king's reply. I don't know about the scarecrow. I've seen a scarecrow and a sensible chap he was hanging still like a reasonable person and letting chairs and tables chase themselves round. Where was he, asked Sir Hocus in great agitation. In a picture, said the king, wait, I'll ring for it. No use, said the knight in a disappointed voice. We're looking for a man. Would you mind telling me why you are all so still and why all your furniture runs around? Asked Dorothy, who was growing a little restless. You forget where you are and you're out of turn, but I'll overlook it this once, said the king. Have you ever noticed little with D that furniture lasts longer than people? Why, yes, admitted Dorothy. Well, there you are. King Fixit folded his hands and regarded her complacently. Here we manage things better. We stand still and let the furniture run around and wear itself out. How does it strike you? It seems sensible, acknowledged Dorothy, but don't you ever grow tired of standing still? I've heard of growing hair and flowers and corn, but never of growing tired. What is it? Asked Stick and Plaster, leaning toward Dorothy. I think she's talked enough, said the king, closing his eyes. Sir Hokus had been staring anxiously at the king for some time. Now he came close to the monarch's side and standing on tiptoe, whispered hoarsely, hast any dragons here? Did you say wagons? Asked the king, opening his eyes with a terrible yawn. Dragons hissed the night. Never heard of them, said the king. The cowardly lion chuckled behind his whiskers and Sir Hokus in great confusion stepped back. What time is it? Demanded the king suddenly. He touched a bell and next minute a whole company of clocks came running down the street. The big ones pushed the little ones and a grandfather clock ran so fast that it tripped over a cobblestone and fell on its face, which cracked all the way across. You've plenty of time, why don't you take it? Called the king angrily while two closed trees helped the clock to its feet. They're all different, giggled Dorothy, nudging the cowardly lion. Some pointed to eight o'clock, some to nine, and others to half past ten. Why shouldn't they be different? Asked, stick and haughtily, some run faster than others. Past the time please, said the king, looking hard at Dorothy. The lazy lump growled the cowardly lion, but Dorothy picked up the nearest little clock and handed it to king Fixit. I thought so, yawned the king, pointing at the clock. At this everybody began ringing bells till Dorothy was obliged to cover her ears. In an instant the whole street was filled with beds. Rolling up just as if they were taxis, laughed Dorothy to Sir Hokus. The night smiled faintly, but as he had never seen a taxi, he could not appreciate Dorothy's remark. Here come your beds, said the king shortly. Tell them to take you around the corner, I can't abide snoring. I don't snore, thank you, said Dorothy angrily, but the king had stepped into his bed and drawn the curtains tight. We might as well go to bed, I suppose, said the little girl. I'm so tired. The three beds were swaying restlessly in the middle of the street. They were tall, four-post affairs with heavy, chintz hangings. Dorothy chose the blue one, and Sir Hokus lifted her up carefully and then went off to catch his bed, which had gotten into an argument with a lamp post. When he spoke to it sharply, it left off and came trotting over to him. The cowardly lion, contrary to his usual custom, leaped into his bed, and soon the three four posters were walking quietly down the street, evidently following the king's instructions. Dorothy slipped off her shoes and dress and nestled comfortably down among the soft covers. Just like sleeping in a train, she thought drowsily, what a lot I shall have to tell the scarecrow and osma when I get home. Good night, said the bed politely. Good night, said Dorothy, too nearly asleep to even think it strange for a bed to talk. Good night. End of chapter. Chapter 13 of The Royal Book of Oz. This sleeper box recording is in the public domain and is read by Mark Smith of Simpsonville, South Carolina. The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson. Chapter 13. Dancing beds and the roads that unrolled. It must be a shipwreck! thought Dorothy, sitting up in alarm. She seemed to be tossing about wildly. Time for little girls to get up! Grumbled a harsh voice that seemed to come from the pillows. Dorothy rubbed her eyes. One of the bed-posts was addressing her and the big four poster itself was dancing a regular jig. Oh, stop! cried Dorothy, holding on to the post to keep from bouncing out. Can't you see I'm awake? Well, I go off duty now and you'll have to hurry, said the bed-sulkily. I'm due at the lecture at nine. Lecture, gasped Dorothy. What's so queer about that? Demanded the bed coldly. I've got to keep well posted, haven't I? I belong to a polish set I do. Hurry up, little girl, or I'll throw you out. I'm glad my bed doesn't talk to me in this impertinent fashion, thought Dorothy, slipping into her dress and combing her hair with her side comb. Imagine being ordered about by a bed. I wonder if Sir Hocus is up. Parting the curtains, she jumped down and the bed, without even saying goodbye, took itself off. Sir Hocus was sitting on a stile, polishing his armor with a pillow slip that he had taken from his bed, and the cowardly lion was lying beside him, lazily thumping his tail and making fun of the passing furniture. Have you had breakfast? asked Dorothy, joining her friends. We were waiting for your ladyship, juggled the cowardly lion. Would you mind ordering two for me, Hocus? I find one quite insufficient. Sir Hocus threw away the pillow slip and, talking cheerfully, they walked toward King Fixit's circle. The beds had been replaced by breakfast tables and the whole street was eating busily. Good morning, King, said Sir Hocus. For breakfast, please. The King rang a bell four times without looking up from his oatmeal. Seeing that he did not wish to be disturbed, the three waited quietly for their tables. In some ways, said Dorothy, contentedly munching a hot roll, in some ways, this is a very comfortable place. Insoothed is that, mumbled Sir Hocus, his mouth full of baked apple. As for the cowardly lion, he finished his two breakfasts in no time. And now, said Sir Hocus, as the tables walked off, let us continue our quest. Couldst tell us the way to the emerald city, my good King Fixit? If you go, go away, and if you stay, stay away, that's my motto. Answered King Fix, shortly, I can't have people running around here like common furniture. He added, in a grieved voice, all the Fixit's nodded vigorously. Let them take their stand or their departure, said Stick and Plaster, firmly. The King felt in his pocket and brought out three pieces of chalk. Go to the end of the street. Use a place and draw your circle. In five minutes you will find it impossible to move out of the circle, and you will be saved all this unnecessary motion. But we don't want to come to a stand still, objected Dorothy. No, by my good sword! spluttered the night, glaring around nervously. Then seeing the King look displeased, he made a low bow. If your Highness could graciously direct us out of the city, buy a piece of road and go where it takes you, snapped the King. Seeing no more was to be got out of him, they started down the long street. I wonder what they do when it rains, said Dorothy, looking curiously at the solemn rows of people. Call for a roof, silly, snapped a Fix staring at her rudely. If you would spend your time thinking instead of walking, you'd know more. Go, too, and swallow a gooseberry, roared the night, waving his sword at the Fix, and Dorothy, fearing an encounter, begged him to come on, which he did, though with many backward glances. Fix's cities seemed to consist of one long street, and they had soon come to the very end. Hudd's daggers, gasped their hocus. Great palm trees, roared the cowardly lion. As for Dorothy, she could do nothing but stare, the street ended surely enough and beyond. There was nothing at all. That is, nothing but air. Whoa! said the cowardly lion, backing a few paces. This is a pretty Fix. Glad you like it, said a wheezy voice. The three travelers turned in surprise. A huge Fix was regarding them with interest. His circle, which was the last in the row, was about twenty times as large as the other circles, and on the edge stood a big sign. Don't you remember? The King said something about buying a road, said Dorothy, in an excited undertone to the night. Can'ts direct us to a road, my good man, asked Sir Hocus with a bow. The Fix jerked his thumb back at the sign. What kind of a road do you want? He asked hoarsely. A road that will take us back to the emerald city, please? Said Dorothy. I can't guarantee anything like that. Declared the Fix, shaking his head. Our roads go where they please, and you'll have to go where they take you. Do you want to go on or off? On, shivered the cowardly lion, looking with a shutter over the precipice at the end of the street. What kind of a road will you have? Make up your minds, please. I am busy. What kind of roads have you? asked Dorothy timidly. It was her first experience at buying roads, and she felt a bit perplexed. Sunny, shady, straight, crooked, and cross roads snapped the Fix. We wouldn't want to cross one, said Dorothy positively. Have you any with trees at both sides and water at the end? How many yards? Asked the Fix, taking a pair of shears as large as himself off a long counter beside him. Five miles, said Sir Hocus, as Dorothy looked confused. That ought to take us somewhere. The Fix rang one of the bells in the counter, the next minute a big trap door in the ground opened, and a perfectly huge roll bounced out at his feet. Get on, commanded the Fix in such a sharp tone that the three jumped to obey. Holding fast to Sir Hocus, Dorothy stepped on the piece of road that had already unrolled. The cowardly lion, looking very anxious, followed. No sooner had they done so than the road gave a terrific leap forward that stretched the three flat upon their backs and started unwinding from its spool at a terrifying speed. As it unrolled, tall trees snapped erect on each side and began laughing derisively at the three travelers huddled together in the middle. G-g-glad, we only took five miles! Stuttered Dorothy to the night, whose armor was rattling like a ford. The cowardly lion had wound his tail around a tree and dug his claws into the road, for he had no intention of falling off into nothingness. As for the road, it snapped along at about a mile a minute, and before they had time to grow accustomed to this singular mode of travel, it gave a final jump that sent them circling into the air and began rapidly winding itself up. Down, down, down, world, Dorothy, falling with a resounding splash into a broad stream of water. Then down, down, down again, almost to the bottom. Help! Screamed Dorothy as her head rose above water and she began striking out feebly, but the fall through the air had taken all her breath. What do you want? A thin, neat little man was watching her anxiously from the bank, making careful notes in a book that he held in one hand. Help! Save me! Choked Dorothy, feeling herself going down in the muddy stream again. Wait! I'll look it up under the ages, called the little man, making a trumpet of his hands. Are you an island? An island is a body of land entirely surrounded by water, but this seems to be a somebody. Dorothy heard him mutter as he whipped over several pages of his book. Sorry! he called back, shaking his head slowly, but this is the wrong day. I only save lives on Monday. Stand aside, ma'am, you villain! A second little man, exactly like the first, except that he was exceedingly untidy, plunged into the stream. It's no use, thought Dorothy, closing her eyes, for he had jumped in far below the spot where she had fallen and was making no progress, whatever. The waters rushed over her head the second time, then she felt herself being dragged upward. When she opened her eyes, the cowardly lion was standing over her. Are you all right? He rumbled anxiously. I came as soon as I could, fell in way upstream. Seen hocus? Oh, he'll drown, cried Dorothy, forgetting her own narrow escape. He can't swim in that heavy armor. Never fear, I'll get him, puffed the cowardly lion, and without waiting to catch his breath, he plunged back into the stream. The little man who only saved lives on Monday now approached timidly. I'd like to get a statement from you, if you don't mind. It might help me in the future. You might have helped me in the present, said Dorothy, wringing out her dress. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I'll make a note of that, said the little man earnestly. But how do you feel when you went down? He waited, his pencil poised over the little book. Go away, cried Dorothy in disgust. But my dear young lady, I'm not your dear young lady. Oh, dear, why doesn't the cowardly lion come back? Go away, ma'am. The second little man, dripping wet, came up hurriedly. I was only trying to get a little information, grumbled ma'am sulkily. I'm sorry I couldn't swim faster, said the wet little man, approaching Dorothy apologetically. Well, thank you for trying, said Dorothy. Is he your brother? And could you tell me where you are? You're dressed in yellow, so I suppose it must be somewhere in the winky country. Right in both cases, chuckled the little fellow. My name is Ran, and his name is Memo. He jerked his thumb at the retiring twin. Random and Memo, see? I think I do. Said Dorothy, half-closing her eyes. Is that why he's always taking notes? Exactly, said Ran. I do everything at random, and he does everything at Memo-random. It must be rather confusing, said Dorothy. Then as she caught sight of the cowardly lion dragging Sir Hocus, she jumped up excitedly. Ran, however, took one look at the huge beast and then fled, calling for Mem at the top of his voice. And that is the last Dorothy saw of these singular twins. The lion dropped Sir Hocus in a limp heap. When Dorothy unfastened his armor, gallons of water rushed out. So good of you, choked the poor knight, trying to straighten up. Save your breath, old fellow, said the cowardly lion, regarding him affectionately. Oh, why did I ask for water on one end of the road? Said Dorothy. But anyway, we're in some part of the winky country. Sir Hocus, though still spluttering, was beginning to revive. Yon noble beast shall be knighted, uns daggers, that's the second time he shaved my life. Rising unsteadily, he tottered over to the lion and struck him a sharp blow on the shoulder. Rise, sure cowardly lion! He cried hoarsely and fell headlong and before Dorothy or the lion had recovered from their surprise, he was fast asleep, mumbling happily of dragons and bludgeons. We'll have to wait till he gets rested, said Dorothy, and until I get dry. She began running up and down, then stopped suddenly before the lion. And there's something else for Professor Waggobug to put in his book, Sir Cowardly Lion. Oh, that! Mummeled the cowardly lion, looking terribly embarrassed. Who ever heard of a cowardly knight? Nonsense! No, it isn't nonsense, said Dorothy stoutly. You're a knight from now on. Won't the scarecrow be pleased? If we ever find him, sighed the lion, settling himself besides Sir Hocus. We will, said Dorothy Gailey. I can just feel it! End of chapter. Chapter 14 of The Royal Book of Oz. This Leap of Ox recording is in the public domain and is read by Mark Smith of Simpsonville, South Carolina. The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson. Chapter 14, Sons and Grandsons Greet the Scarecrow. Although the Scarecrow had been on Silver Island for only a few days, he had already instituted many reforms, and thanks to his cleverness the people were more prosperous than ever before. Cheers greeted him wherever he went, and even old choo-choo was more agreeable and no longer made bitter remarks to happy toko. The Scarecrow himself, however, had four new wrinkles and was exceedingly melancholy. He missed the carefree life in Oz, and every minute that he was not ruling the island, he was thinking about his old home and dear jolly comrades in the Emerald City. I almost hope they will look in the magic picture and wish me back again, he mused pensively. But it is my duty to stay here. I have a family to support. So he resolved to put the best face he could on the matter, and happy toko did his utmost to cheer up his royal master. The second morning after the great victory he came running into the Silver Throne Room in a great state of excitement. The Honorable Offspring have a riven, announced happy, turning a somersault. Come, ancient and amiable, sir, and gaze upon your sons and grandsons. The Scarecrow sprang joyously from his Silver Throne, upsetting a bowl of silver fish and three silver vases. At last a real family. Ever since his arrival the three princes and their fifteen little sons had been cruising on the royal pleasure barge so that the Scarecrow had not caught a glimpse of them. This is the happiest moment of my life! He exclaimed, clasping his yellow gloves and watching the door intently. Happy looked a little uneasy, for he knew the three princes to be exceedingly haughty and overbearing. But he said nothing, and next minute the Scarecrow's family stepped solemnly into the royal presence. Children, cried the Scarecrow, and with his usual impetuousness rushed forward and flung his arms around the first richly clad prince. Take care, take care, ancient and honorable papa, cried the young Silverman, backing away. Such excitement is not good for one of your advanced years. He drew himself away firmly and adjusting a huge pair of silver spectacles regarded the Scarecrow attentively. Ah, how you have changed! He looks very feeble too fang, but may he live long to rule this flowery island and our humble selves, said the second prince, bowing stiffly. Do you not find the affairs of state fatiguing, darling papa? Inquired the third prince, fingering a jeweled chain that hung around his neck. I, as your eldest son, shall be delighted to relieve you should you wish to retire. Get back ten paces, you! He roared at happy toco. The poor Scarecrow had been so taken aback by this cool reception that he just stared in disbelief. If the three honorable princes will retire themselves, I will speak with my grandsons. He said dryly, bowing in his most royal manner. The three princes exchanged startled glances. Then with three low salams they retired backward from the hall. Ah, now, my dears! The Scarecrow looked wistfully at his fifteen-soken-clad little grandsons. Their silver hair, plaited tightly into little cues, stood out stiffly on each side of their heads and gave them a very curious appearance. At his first word, the fifteen fell dutifully on their noses. As soon as they were right side up, the Scarecrow, beginning at the end of the row, addressed a joking question to each in his most approved ahs-style. But over they went again and answered meakly, Yes, gracious grand-papa-papa, or no honorable grand-papa-papa. And the constant bobbing up and down and papying so confused the poor Scarecrow that he nearly gave up the conversation. It's no use trying to talk to these children. He wailed in disgust. They're so solemn. Don't you ever laugh? He cried in exasperation, for he had told them stories that would have set the ahs-youngsters into hysterics. He is not permissible for a prince to laugh at the remarks of his honorable grand-parent, whispered Happy Tocco, while the fifteen little princes banged their heads solemnly on the floor. Honorable fiddle-sticks, exclaimed the Scarecrow, slumping back on his throne, bring cushions. Happy Tocco ran off nimbly and soon the fifteen little princes were seated in a circle at the Scarecrow's feet. To prevent prostrations, said the Scarecrow. Yes, old grand-papa-papa, chorused the princes, bending over as far as they could. Wait, said the Scarecrow hastily. I'll tell you a story. Once upon a time, to a beautiful country called Ahs, which is surrounded on all sides by a deadly desert, there came a little girl named Dorothy, a terrible gale. Well, what's the matter now? The Scarecrow stopped short for the oldest prince had jerked a book out of his sleeve and was flipping over the pages industriously. It is not on the map, great grand-papa-papa. He announced solemnly and all the other little princes shook their heads and said dully, not on the map. Not on the map! Ahs? Of course it's not. Do you suppose we want all the humans in creation coming there? Calming down, the Scarecrow tried to continue his story, but every time he mentioned Ahs, the little princes shook their heads stubbornly and whispered, not on the map, till the usually good-tempered Scarecrow flew into perfect passion. Not on the map, you little villains! He screamed, forgetting they were his grandsons. What difference does that make? Are your heads solid silver? We do not believe in Ahs, announced the oldest prince serenely. There is no such place. No such place as Ahs. Happy, do you hear that? The Scarecrow's voice fairly crackled with indignation. Why, I thought everybody believed in Ahs. Perhaps your highness can convince them later, suggested the imperial punster. This way, offspring! His master, he felt, had had enough family for one day, so the fifteen little princes, with fifteen stiff little bows, took themselves back to the royal nursery. As for the Scarecrow, he paced disconsolently up and down his magnificent throne-room, tripping over his kimono at every other step. You're a good boy, Tappy, said the Scarecrow, as happy returned. But I tell you, being a grandparent is not what I thought it would be. Did you hear them tell me, right to my face, they did not believe in Ahs? And my sons, ugh! Fault of their bringing up, said Happy Toko, comfortingly. If your serene highness would just tell me more of that illustrious country, Happy knew that nothing cheered the Scarecrow like talking of Ahs, and to tell the truth, Happy himself never tired of the Scarecrow's marvelous stories. So the two slipped quietly into the palace gardens, and the Scarecrow related for the fourteenth time the story of his discovery by Dorothy, and the story of Ahsma, and almost forgot that he was an emperor. Your highness knows the history of Ahs by heart, said Happy, admiringly, as the Scarecrow paused. I couldn't do that, said the Scarecrow gently, for you see Happy, I have no heart. Then I wish we all had none, exclaimed Happy Toko, rolling up his eyes. The Scarecrow looked embarrassed, so the little punster threw back his head and sang a song he had been making up while the Scarecrow had been telling his stories. The Scarecrow was standing alone in a field, inviting the crows to keep off. When the straw in his chest began tickling as fast and he couldn't resist a loud cough, the noise that was heard so surprised every bird that the flock flew away in a fright. But the Scarecrow looked pleased, and he said, if I'd sneeze, it wouldn't have been so polite. Oh, roared the Scarecrow, you're almost as good at making verses as scraps. Write that down for me, Tappy. I'd like to show it to her. Hush, whispered Happy, holding up his finger, warningly. The Scarecrow turned so suddenly that the silver pigtail, pinned to the back of his hat, wound itself tightly around his neck. No wonder, on the other side of the hedge, the three princes were walking up and down, conversing in indignant whispers. What a horrible shape our Honorable Papa has reappeared in. I hear that it never wears out, muttered one. He may continue just as he is for years and years. How am I ever to succeed him, I'd like to know. Why, he may outlive us all. We might throw him into the silver river, said the second, hopefully. No use, choked the third. I was just talking to the Imperial Soothsayer, and he tells me that no one from this miserable kingdom of ours can be destroyed, but I have a plan. Incline your royal ears, listen. The voices dropped to such a low whisper that neither Happy nor the Scarecrow could hear one word. Treason, spluttered Happy, making ready to spring through the hedge, but the Scarecrow seized him by the arm and drew him away. I don't believe they liked their poor Papa, exclaimed the Scarecrow, when they were safely back in the throne room. I'm fielding older than a kinkajou. Ah, Happy Oco, why did I ever slide down my family tree? It has brought me nothing but unhappiness. End of chapter. Chapter 15 of The Royal Book of Oz. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain and is read by Mark Smith of Simpsonville, South Carolina. The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson. Chapter 15, The Three Princes Plot to Undo the Emperor. Let me help your Imperial Serenity. Bring a cane. Carefully now. The three royal princes, with every show of affection, were supporting the Scarecrow to the silver bench in the garden where he usually sat during luncheon. Are you quite comfortable? asked the elder. Here, Happy, you rogue, fetch a scarf for his Imperial Highness. You must be careful, dear Papa Scarecrow. At your age, drafts are dangerous. The rascally prince wound the scarf about the Scarecrow's neck. What do you suppose they're up to? asked the Scarecrow, staring after the three suspiciously. Why this sudden devotion? It upsets my Imperial Serenity a lot. Trying to make you feel old, grumbled Happy. Several hours had passed since they had overheard the conversation in the garden. The Scarecrow had decided to watch his sons closely and fall in with any plan they suggested so they would suspect nothing. Then, when the time came, he would act. Just what he would do, he did not know, but his excellent brains would not, he felt sure, desert him. Happy Toko sat as close to the Scarecrow as he could and scowled terribly whenever the princes approached, which was every minute or so during the afternoon. How is the Scarecrow celestial old head? Does he suffer from honorable gout? Should they fetch the Imperial Doctor? The Scarecrow, who had never thought of age in his whole straw life, became extremely nervous. Was he really old? Did his head ache? When no one was looking, he felt himself carefully all over. Then something of his old-time Oz spirit returned. Seizing the cushion that his eldest son was placing at his back, he hurled it over his head. Leaping from his throne, he began turning hand springs in a careless and sprightly manner. Don't you worry about your honorable old papa, chuckled the Scarecrow, winking at Happy Toko. He's good for a couple of centuries. The three princes stared sourly at this exhibition of youth. But your heart, objected the eldest prince. Have none, laughed the Scarecrow. Snatching off the silver cord from around his waist, he began skipping rope up and down the hall. The princes, tapping their foreheads significantly, retired, and the Scarecrow, throwing his arm around Happy Toko, began whispering in his ear. He had a plan himself they would see. Meanwhile, off in his dark cave in one of the Silver Mountains, the grand, gee wizard of the Silver Island was stirring a huge kettle of magic. Every few moments he paused to read out of a great yellow book that he had propped up on the mantle. The fire and the huge grate leaped fiercely under the big black pot, and the sputtering candles on each side of the book sent creepy shadows into the dark cave. Dark chests, books, bundles of herbs, and heaps of gold and silver were everywhere. Whenever the gee wizard turned his back, a rheumatic silver-scaled old dragon would crawl toward the fire and swallow a mouthful of coals until the old gee wizard caught him in the act and chained him to a ring in the corner of the cave. Little joy of my heart, our fortune is about to be made. Hissed the wizened little man, waving a long iron spoon at the dragon. You shall have a bucket of red-hot coals every hour, and I, a silver cap with a tassel. Have not the royal princes promised it? The dragon shuffled about and finally went to sleep, smoking sulkily. Is it finished, son of a yellow dog? Through the narrow opening of the cave, the youngest prince stuck his head. I am working as fast as I can, honorable prince, but the elixir must boil yet one more night. Tomorrow, where the sun shines on the first bar of your celestial window, come and all will be ready. Are you sure you have found it? Little asked the prince, withdrawing his head, for the smoking dragon and steam from the kettle made him cough. Quite sure, wheezed the grand gee wizard, and fell to stirring the kettle with all his might. The scarecrow, although busy with trials in the great courtroom of the palace, felt that something unusual was in the air. The princes kept nodding to one another, and the grand chuchu and general mugwomp had their heads together at every opportunity. Something's going to happen, Tappy. I feel it in my straw, whispered the scarecrow as he finished trying the last case. At that very minute, the grand chuchu arose and held up his hand for silence. Everybody paused in their way to the exits and looked with surprise at the old silverman. I have to announce, said the grand chuchu in a solemn voice, that the great and imperial Chang Wangwo will tomorrow be restored to his own rightful shape. The grand gee wizard of the realm has discovered a magic formula to break the enchantment and free him from this distressing scarecrow body. Behold for the last time the scarecrow of ours. Tomorrow he will be our old and glorious emperor. Old and glorious, gasped the scarecrow, nearly falling from his throne. Tappy, I forgot to lock up the wizards. Great cornstarch, tomorrow I will be 85 years old. Such cheers greeted the grand chuchu's announcement that no one even noticed the scarecrow's distress. I also have an announcement, cried the oldest prince, standing up proudly. To make the celebration of my royal papa's restoration complete, we have chosen the lovely and charming orange blossom for his bride. Bride, gulped the scarecrow, but I do not approve of second marriages. I refuse to, no one paid the slightest attention to the scarecrow's remarks. Hold my hand, Tappy, sighed the scarecrow weakly. It may be your last chance. Then he sat up and stared in good earnest, for the prince was leading forward a tall, richly-clad lady. Orange blossom, muttered the scarecrow under his breath. He means lemon peel, silver grandmother Tappy. Orange blossom was a cross-looking princess of 75 at least. She is a sister of the king of the golden islands, whispered General Mugwump, of a richness surpassing your own. Let me felicitate your highness. Fam me, Tappy, fam me, gasped the scarecrow. Then he straightened himself suddenly. The time had come for action. He would say nothing to anyone, but that night he would escape and try to find his way back to Oz, family or no family. He bowed graciously to princess Orange blossom to the grand chuchu and to his sons. Let everything be made ready for the ceremony and may tomorrow indeed bring me to myself. He repeated solemnly. Nothing was talked of that evening, but the emperor's impending marriage and the grand ghee wizard's discovery. The scarecrow seemed the least excited person in the palace. Sitting on his throne, he pretended to read the royal silver journal, but he was really waiting impatiently for the courtiers to retire. Finally, when the last one had bowed himself out and only Happy Toko remained in the throne room, the scarecrow began making his plans. It's no use, Tappy, said he, tying up a few little trinkets for Dorothy and a silk handkerchief. I'd rather be straw than meat. I'd rather be a plain scarecrow in Oz than emperor of the earth. They may be my sons, but all they want is my death. I'm going back to my old friends. I'd rather... He got no farther. A huge slave seized him suddenly from behind while another caught Happy Toko around his fat little waist. Tie them fast, said the eldest prince, smiling wickedly at the scarecrow. Here, tie him to the beanstalk, merely a part of the great ghee wizard's formula. He exclaimed maliciously as a struggling scarecrow was bound securely to his family tree. Good night, dear papa scarecrow. Tomorrow you will be your old self again and in a few short years, I will be emperor of the Silver Islands. This rather upsets our plans, eh, Tappy? Wheezed the scarecrow after a struggle with his bonds. Pigs, weasels, choked Tappy. What are we to do? Alas, groaned the scarecrow. Tomorrow there will be no scarecrow in Oz. What will Dorothy and Osmo think? And once I'm changed into my old imperial self, I can never make the journey to the Emerald City. 86 is too old for traveling. Has your majesty forgotten the wonderful brains given to you by the Wizard of Oz? I had, for a moment, confessed the scarecrow. Be quiet, Tappy, while I think. Pressing his head against the magic beanpole, the scarecrow thought and thought harder than he had ever done in the course of his adventurous life and in the great silent hall, happy Toko struggled to set himself free. End of chapter.