 the guys and the girls will get married. Make sure that you write this down when you get married. When you have issues with your husband, as long as they're not, you know, out of the world issues, very strange issues, you know, ups and downs that every married guy and girl have, make sure you don't complain to your parents. Don't go and get your parents involved. Now I already mentioned that when I spoke about the advices to the mother-in-law. So at the same time that the mother shouldn't keep on getting involved, you, the daughter and the son, shouldn't keep on involving your parents. Every time I go visit my mother and father, I complain to them, my wife did this today, my wife did that today, my husband did this, my husband did that. Don't do that, mother and sisters, because that will only lead to more problems. Unless, unless you really need a solution and your parents, you think they can solve the issue. Yes, that will be different. You're not just complaining. Some people, they just want to complain. They just want to complain. They don't really, they know there's no solution. They know the parents can't really do anything. First of all, you're just upsetting your father. You're just upsetting your mother. What's the point? If there is no solution and your parents can't do anything, why go and tell them? Break their heart every day. That's number one. Number two, by doing that, you're just escalating the issue. Maybe sometime it's better to tell other people, don't go and tell your mother. Don't tell your father. Remember, the father is overprotective and he's going to come and maybe he wants to deal with it in a violent way. The mother is too emotional. Maybe you should find other people because they'll be more objective when they look at your issue. The parents of your wife, they won't be objective because it's their daughter. Of course, they're going to be biased towards their daughter. And this is natural. Find someone that is more objective, more neutral and have them solve your issue. So this fact, this, you know, this process that every day I go and I complain to my parents of my marital issues. This is also, as I mentioned, recipe for disaster. And then again, brothers and sisters, you know, some wives, some couple, some spouses, they're not fair at all. When there's a problem, they go and tell their parents. But when they're the days that there are no problems, when the husband is good, when he does something good, or when the girl does something good, they don't tell their parents. Only the bad reaches the father and the mother. The good doesn't reach them. Why didn't you tell your mother that he took you out for dinner, that he bought you a gift, that he bought you this? He told you some nice words, even something as small as that. The good things, we keep them for ourselves, right? We keep it between us, between us, me and my wife. But the bad things, we always go. And we tell our parents. So this is unfair. So my, you know, the, my parents will think that, you know, this person is the worst individual that I got married to, because all I'm relaying to them is the negatives. And I forget to tell them the positives. And you know, this is what I usually say with social media. On social media, people, they do the opposite. They only put the good things they have in life. Go on any individual social media. And you'll just see the nice things, the nice juicy hamburgers they ate, right? The day before when they ate the leftover food, they don't put pictures of it. Did they? Oh, I'm eating a nice leftover meal from two days ago. Nobody's going to put that on social media. Why? Because people don't want to see that. You're not going to get likes. The days that they're traveling, they're having fun vacationing in a five star resort, they'll put 10 pictures every day. They go for Ziyara, 20 pictures every day. The boring days, no pictures. So when you look at their accounts, you think their life is the nicest life. Masha'Allah, it's all about food and vacation and travel and fun and entertainment. My life is so boring, right? No, your life is the same as their life. The difference is they only portray the good, they hide the boring and the bad. So with marriages, we do the opposite, unfortunately, with our parents. We just show them the negatives and we hide the positives. And there's a hadith, listen carefully from the Prophet. He tells, he says this hadith, Haqqul Mar'ati Ala Zawjihah An-Yasudda Ju'ataha wa An-Yasutra Awrataha, says one of the rights of a wife that the husband must fulfill is that he feeds her, the Prophet says, wa An-Yasutra Awrataha, that he conceals her flaws. He conceals her mistakes. If my wife makes a mistake and the same thing applies to the husband. If I'm a woman and my husband makes a mistake, I must conceal it, as long as it is a reasonable mistake. It's not something that's too too big. Most people have these mistakes. This is a right that the other has upon me. Don't go and telling your friends about it. Sometimes even they go to social media and they post some of the problems that they have. I call my friend, my best friend, and I complain. I call my parents. I call this, this is wrong. The Prophet says, Men Haqqul Zawjah Ala Zawjihah. Men Haqqul Zawjah Al-Mar'at Ala Zawjihah. This is a right of the woman, that if she makes a mistake, he conceals and forgives. And Allah mentions this in the Holy Qur'an when he speaks about marriage. What does Allah say? He says, Hunna libaasun lakum wa antum libaasun lahunna. He says, look at the relationship between a married man and a woman. He says, you are a garment. Allah uses the word libaas. Libaas means clothing, garment. You are like clothing for her and she is clothing for you. What does that mean, brothers and sisters? Why does the Qur'an use the word libaas, garment? How is my wife garment for me and I am garment clothing for her? Ask yourself, what do clothes do? They conceal you, right? You don't go out naked, obviously. It will be the biggest disaster, the biggest scandal, if I go out naked, right? So what do clothes do? They conceal you, they protect you, right? This is what the husband does to his wife. He conceals, he protects. This is what she does for him. What happens between them stays between them. This is the right of each individual. Hunna libaasun lakum wa antum libaasun lahunna. So we have to conceal each other. We have to forgive our mistakes, keep them between us, forgive. And as they say, forget. This is number three. And this is number three. And finally, I will end with this. This is very important, brothers and sisters, never ever make your spouse choose between you and their parents. There are some women that tell the husband, look, either me or your mom, you can't have both. Because remember, there's a fight between her and the mom. Or there are some husbands that tell his wife, tell their wives, either me or your father or your family. This is haram, brothers and sisters. Not only is it a sin, this is destroying the marriage. When I make my spouse, my spouse wants both. I want my wife and my mom. But my wife cannot come and tell me that you have to choose me or your mom. This is haram. I cannot choose you over my mother, because if I choose my wife over my mother and I have lost my mother, that means I have lost my Akhira. That means I have lost Allah The Hadith of the Prophet says, heaven, paradise is beneath the feet of your mother. How dare my wife come and tell me, choose between me and my mother, who heaven is beneath her feet? If I choose you over my mother, that means I have no paradise. That means, I have lost Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So if she even knew what she was saying with a wife when she tells her husband, either me or your mother, she's basically saying, choose hell or heaven. What kind of question is that? Would anyone choose hell over heaven? No one. So this is unacceptable when either of the two, the husband or the wife, tells the other either me or your family. No, there should always be a middle ground where he respects his parents. He respects his family members, maintains good ties with his family, and at the same time, he can please me. But remember, brothers and sisters, if there is a clash between my spouse and my parents, who's more important Islamically? Who's more important? My parents come before anyone. Your father and your mother, they come only after Allah, Allah than your parents. I don't care how much I love my spouse, how many years I've lived with them, but if, you know, we shouldn't let it reach that level where there's a conflict and I have to choose one over the other. But if I did have to choose one over the other, I would definitely choose my parents, because my parents are the ones that raised me. They gave me life. My mother carried me nine months in my womb. Now I come and I disrespect her and they'll neglect her for someone else. No way. Not only is this un-Islamic, it is immoral and it is illogical. So that's why, brothers and sisters, we should never be an obstacle between my spouse and his parents. My spouse and her parents. I find myself sometimes that because of my influence on my wife or on my husband, his relationship with his parents is weakening. Yes, brothers and sisters, some people, they get married. And because of that marriage, it has a negative impact on their relationship with their family members, their relationship with their mothers, with their fathers. This is a terrible marriage. Something that comes between me and my parents, I should never allow that. And that's why I've seen certain brothers they make, or certain sisters they make this clear. Sometimes even in the marriage contract, that, look, my parents are always the priority. Don't think that I will neglect them and take you on vacations and this and that. No. After my parents comes you because this is how Allah swt wants it to be. Yes, sometimes the mother may be wrong. The mother may be unjust. The mother may be cruel with her daughter in law. But that never ever justifies that I, the son, the daughter, I get involved and I also, you know, I try to punish my mother. I try to punish my father, not for brothers and sisters. Our parents come before anyone. And there's a story that's narrated during the time of the Prophet, a young man by the name of Al Qama, he was dying. And his wife sent a message to the Prophet that he's dying. But that dying stage, which we call it, when the angel of death takes our soul, that process, that stage, it was taking too long. You could tell that he was in torture. So in such situations, you can imagine that this person is probably being punished. That hadith tell us that a believer has the easiest death and a non-believer or a sinner, someone that is far from Allah swt, his death will be difficult upon him. So she said, she sent a message to the Prophet that please come and help. He's not dying, nor is he getting better. So the Prophet sent some of his companions, they came to him. What did they tell him? You see someone dying, you tell them the Shahadatain, right? Talqeen. You tell them, say the last words. This is the best way I can end my life. The last words I say are the Shahadatain. This is how I will greet my Lord in the next life. Witnessing that he is the God, the only God, and that Muhammad is his messenger. So the companions come to him, they tell him, say the Shahadatain, but he can't. He tries to say he can't. So eventually they come back to the Prophet and they tell him, we couldn't help this guy. So the Prophet came and he asked, is his mother alive or his father? They said, yes, he has an old mother. He said, I want to speak to the mother. They brought the mother He asked her, the Prophet asked her, your son who's dying right now, was he a good individual? She said, he used to pray, he used to fast. Yes, the rituals, he would do them. So the Prophet asked her this question, are you pleased with him? Are you satisfied and happy with your son? Was he a good son to you? She said, no, Ya Rasulallah. He was not a good son to me. Yes, he prayed and he did fasting and he was a religious individual, but with me he was a terrible person. Why? He said, because of his wife. The mother tells the Prophet, because of his wife, his wife hated me and because of his wife he always was with her. He would stand with her against me and oppress me, neglect me and disobey me. So I'm not pleased with him. And this is when the Prophet had to intervene and he had to tell her to forgive him or else Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will punish him. The Prophet told her according to the Hadith that he will not benefit from any of the good deeds that he did, the Salah, the fasting, the dua, if you are not pleased with him, the mother. Only then when she forgave him, finally he was able to say the Shahadateen and he died and the Prophet then attended the funeral. So brothers and sisters, never forget your parents. When you get married, before you are married, your parents are the two most individual, the two most important individuals in your life. And after you get married, until the last day of your life, your parents are the two most important individuals in your life. When I get married with someone, I have to make sure that they understand this. They understand this with my parents and I understand it with their parents.