 Okay, welcome back. Yeah, we are, we've started on with the tending skills and we did look at the three Vs and the one B and I have displayed an example here for you. So I'm encouraging all of you to attempt and figure out how you would address this. So the counselor says, so Tina, how did you enjoy the holiday you went with your husband last weekend? And Tina looks away from the counselor, averting the counselor's eyes and responds in a faint voice. It was fine. Is there a mismatch in the verbal and the nonverbal reactions of Tina? If so, how would you address it? First, can I start? Yes, Chaya, go ahead. Yeah, there is mismatch because when the counselor asked Tina, so first thing, she looks away. So maybe she's nervous to answer or maybe she's sad or disappointed. And she's not looking and these things reveals that she's disappointed. So how would you address it, Chaya? What would you, what would your next line to her be? Maybe I'll have that. All right, no wrong right answers. Just confidently say it. Don't worry. No one's going to laugh at you. I promise this is a place where you can make many mistakes. So go ahead. Okay, I want all the others to think. Yes, Chaya, keep thinking. Yes, so I agree with Chaya. Yes, there's a mismatch between her verbal and nonverbal reaction. How I would address her issue or situation will be simply to ask, you don't seem happy based on your facial reaction. What seems to be the problem, right? I just kind of ask in a way. After showing like, I asked her very, like with excitement, how was your journey? How was your trip with this and then she replies me, but I'm like, oh, you don't seem happy about what you just said. So that's how I would engage her first of all. If I see she's still reluctant to say anything, I will be, you don't seem, then I keep forduring, I keep asking her questions that you don't seem happy. Is there anything wrong? I'm here to listen, give an assurance that I'm here to listen to her, give an assurance that I can always hear out no matter what happens. And then from there we'll see how it goes. Basically, that's my attempt. Wonderful, Shay. Great. That is, that's, that's lovely. Good. Good. Okay. So Susan, yes, you're right that Tina was not happy and you can see that. So how will you address it? Is there anything, any other way that you can address it? So Shay spoke about one way. What are the ways can you express it? Make your attempts. It's okay. Sorry, I didn't hear that. I will think only. You will, I will think, I will try. Yeah, yeah, go ahead, go ahead. Sorry, I don't know who's speaking. Who's speaking? Go ahead, go ahead, whoever said that. Yes, Christopher. Yes, I would have a different perspective to this. Again, it depends on, you know, the situation. If the, if the, if it seems that Tina does not want to discuss it at the moment, I would, you know, go to another topic and, you know, continue on that, on that topic. And then perhaps at a, at a later stage, come back to this and then ask the question or this may, this may, you know, be a situation where, you know, Tina herself will, you know, will start talking about it. So just give her that space to, you know, to be able to feel comfortable to share the situation because this could have happened, you know, just, you know, maybe one day before and, you know, it's still very, very uncomfortable for her to talk about it. Yeah. Okay. So that's, that's, that's good. However, I think I would, I would do something in the interim. I would maybe also mention, probably reflect that and say, you know, from, from your voice or from the way that you've said it, I, I, I see that you, you're, you're disappointed or you're upset or something happened that's troubled you. However, I am perfectly, you know, you perfectly have the right and I'm perfectly okay to talk about this later if you're uncomfortable to share it. So I would probably say something like that and give her the freedom to choose. She says, yes, you're right. I don't want to talk about this. It's uncomfortable. So, you know, that that at least helps the councillor understand that I have taken note of something that's been, that's going wrong. So I would probably do that in the interim to help her see that I have noticed it yet I want her to be in charge of whether she would like to discuss it or, you know, keep it for later. So that's something additionally that I would do. Okay. You would listen to her, concentrate on her, give her space to be comfortable. So yeah, so that's what I'm asking. What is it that you will concentrate? What is the space you're going to give? How are you going to articulate that or you're going to, what are you going to do? That's what I'm asking. What would you do to help this? Yes. Yes, Harrison. All right. Thank you. But before I answer this, maybe I say something, I want to find out was the husband there when this question was asked? No. Okay. Just her. Just her. Okay. I want to draw some few things, you know, from what she said. It's also important for us to know that, you know, the question we ask does not trigger a reaction that was since the situation. Okay. That's if the husband was there. That's what you're saying. That's it? Yes. That's one. And even if the husband was not there, you know, because the truth is that there are reactions that cannot really tell if that's the situation. So the thing now is that questions, you know, like she said, you know, questions, you know, is something that really works, you know, for you to be able to troubleshoot what's in the mind of the person. So if I want to ask, you know, maybe I want to ask some few questions, you know, I'm based on what, based on the verbal and non-verbal reactions, you know, of the client or maybe the counselor. I would say that, okay, from what I'm seeing, it does not really show that you had a good time. Is there a problem? So like what she said, you know, you know, the questions, you know, come after you get a response from the client or the counselor. So because I mean, I want to be troubleshooting questions at once. And we want to ask them one after the other and get the reaction before the next question will come. Because I cannot determine, you know, the next questions to ask until I hear from the counselor. So maybe what I want to do first is to create a reaction from her that will give me room to ask more questions. Thank you. Absolutely. Wonderful. Good. So I think that was, that's an, those are excellent remarks in ways that that you all have have spoken of. Okay. So that's good. I'd just probably like to take one more example. And so there are three here. Maybe we look at the second one. Okay. And says a nervous and a scared teenager is supposedly brought by her parents to you. Okay. And so this, this young, this, their own volition, but bought by his or her parents. What would be, and they're just sitting there. They're not going to say anything. What would, what would your first liner be? Okay, this is something all of us can attempt. So maybe those who have not spoken yet. Would you like to attempt? Come on, come on. Let's, let's, let's get to the challenge quickly. Hi, what is your name? Okay. All right. Maybe you can keep progressing from that. Okay. Anita says, hi, what is your name? Okay. Are you okay? Okay. All right. What else would you say? Come on, come on. Challenge, challenge. Let's get on. Hello. My name is Shea. Hi. Yes, she. My name is Shea. No, I basically just introduced myself. I agreed her. Hello. Hi. My name is Shea. It's wonderful to have you here. Welcome to this canceling session. And we, I hope it will be a wonderful time for both of us just to kind of break the ice. Good. Good. That's wonderful. Yes. So you would introduce yourself and, you know, break the ice in some way. All right. Hi. How are you doing? Okay. What else? What else would you say? Welcome. Feel free. Okay. What else would you say? Anything else? Come on. There are so many things we can say. There isn't a right or a, there are only effective questions and ineffective one. There's no right and wrong. Okay. So we're just trying to make it most effective. So come on. I'd like all of you to try. Come on. Come on. Greet him. Introduce myself. Make him feel comfortable. If you can put it up in your first person responses, that'll be helpful. You know, what are you going to say? Because that's going to help all of us. So if you can write what you're going to say. Anything, anything else? Come on. Ma'am, if she's a girl, then we can compliment her and, you know, try to talk to her, compliment her for something that we can observe in her, which is worth complimenting, maybe a dress or hairstyle or something. Okay. All right. Okay. Now imagine yourself in a situation like this. Okay. What would you want, how would you want someone else to make you feel comfortable? Imagine yourself sitting, you're scared and someone walks up to you. What would you like them to say? Okay. Let me share a little experience, you know, for me, for example, now I want to, I want to speak to him on number one. Now having a depressed person in front of you, even if I get introduced myself, I don't know if he's going to walk because after introducing myself, a depressed person can still be looking at me and not say any word. Okay. But one thing I know that I've done, you know, is to like, after introducing myself, I don't give from, you know, for me to start hearing them words from a depressed person or, or like, how will I put it or like, you know, try to get a feedback, you know, from the person. But maybe I started by telling a story. Hmm. Start by telling the story. I don't want to know what my story would do to her, but I want to create a room, you know, for her to start thinking. So I start telling a story about myself or about someone that I know very well, that I'm sure of what I'm saying. That no matter what it is, you know, it will break an ice, you know, to like, you know, dive into whatever I'm trying to achieve, you know, for that day. Mm hmm. So with my story telling, I don't know what the outcome would be. So it could be that it would be something that could touch her. And maybe after telling my story, I may ask her some few questions about my story. So tell me, what do you think, you know, about, you know, what I've shared with you right now? Or what do you think, you know, if you're in the position, what would you do? So it's more like, you know, opening up, you know, the conversation, you know, for us, you know, to start interacting instead of me trying to solve a problem at that moment. So maybe give her room, you know, for us to discuss about the situation that is not concerning her at the moment, but to give room for us to dive into what we are facing at that particular time. Just, yeah, thank you. Nice. That's, that's very innovative. Very, very creative. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Harrison. All right. Okay. I think there have been some other, some other responses, getting assurance and a bit of encouragement, give them place of comfort. Is it right to ask the parents to go out? Absolutely. You should ask the parents to go out. Okay. So something that I've seen sometimes works is, yes, introducing yourself. So in that way, you are showing respect to them. Okay. Respect to her or to him, whoever the teen is, saying that, you know, this is my name and this is who I am. And so I would probably say maybe, you know, how it's happened is the parents have been in the counseling room, the parents have given, you know, a whole list of complaints and is sitting there. So yes, you send the parents out. Okay. Or, you know, they've come in and they've just pushed the child into the, into a counseling room saying that the person needs help. Okay. And so this may be, so it also really depends on the background, what you know, and maybe you don't know anything. So it really, but vaguely, you know, let's suppose you know a little bit from maybe there's a phone call that's been, that's come to you with by a parent and saying, you know, this is what's happening. I'm bringing the child over or you've had a one on one with conversation with the child, with the, with the parents. And you kind of understand that the child was in there on their own volition and has been bought by force. So yeah, so you can introduce yourself and, you know, with the kind of body language, you're able to see that the child definitely is comfortable, does not want to be there. And reflecting that and saying, you know, I really, I'm really impressed or encouraged by your courage to be here. I do see that you just do not, did not, you had had had, you didn't will to be here. But I really am encouraged by your courage. And if I were in your place, you know, I would want to run out from here. I wonder if that's your experience, did you feel the same way too? I'm sure you're feeling quiet and comfortable. So I, so what I'm doing here is to just help the person see and kind of show them that, you know, if I were in her situation, I would probably be worse off than her. I wouldn't want to get out, I would want to call out. Okay, something one, one way. The other way that I'd say is, you know, I'm, there is, there is concern that I show, you know, your parents have said such and such things. And I see that there seems to be some struggle or a challenge that you as a family are facing. And they brought you here. And, but I want to assure you this one thing. So I probably assured a couple of things. One is that, you know, I, but if she isn't comfortable, I can wait till the time that she's comfortable to talk to her. Okay. So I'm helping her see that I am taking on in, taking the session on at her pace. So that's one thing that I would say. I'd say you probably are worried that, you know, me being an adult and your parents being an adult, that I would probably take the place of a parent as well. But I want to assure you that I'm here to, I'm by your side. I'm in your team. I want to help you. Okay. So that's the second thing that I would probably bring about. I would also bring about something with regard to confidentiality that, you know, if you're afraid that something that you disclose here would go back to your parents, I want to completely assure you that whatever you share with me is going to be confidential. And I'm here to help and to protect. So it depends on whatever the issue is also. Okay. So these would be some ways that I'm attempting to engage. Now does does it happen that all times you have a successful engagement? Maybe not, you know, like Harrison was saying, you probably say a story and maybe it will connect, maybe it will not connect. But it actually gets them to a place either of comfort, or at a place of defocus, or at a place of knowing that there is someone else who's attending to them. Okay. So these are certain ways that you would begin the conversation. So they may say, you know, maybe I'm not comfortable. I wouldn't like to stay here. And you say, I completely respect that. And then you could also bring about if at any point of time maybe give them a number or give them some form of contact and say, if at a later point of time you feel that you would like to talk to me even, you know, even maybe without your parents knowing you could just probably pick up the phone and give me a call and you know, hand them over something so that you have that assurance that you have given them a source of help to come back, come through. Okay. These are certain ways that you would like, you would deal with that. Okay. I would have loved to go through the rest of the response, the examples, but you know, since we have a lack of time, we're shortage of time, we'll move ahead. Okay. Now remember, so we said the attending is viable and nonverbal messages. The second is attending by listening. Now listening, we all know is an ability to attend to what is being said, to what the council is sharing out from their experience or sharing out of their story. So it is, it's something that they are going to be saying to you. Okay. And it's actively picking up on what information or even the thoughts or even on the feelings of what is, what is being, what is being spoken about. Okay. So I'm trying to get to the next slide. Yeah. Okay. Now what is the purpose of listening actively? We find that, that the, the council, you are demonstrating to the council that you were listening and you're understanding what they're saying. Okay. So that's the purpose of it. It's also to clarify certain things that may appear confusing for you or that may appear unclear. So it is an attempt to also clarify. It is also when you listen, also picking up and highlighting concerns or issues that is, that, that needs to be picked up. So when you're listening, they may be telling you very many things, but you are highlighting on the certain issues that, that, that need to be addressed or stating them more concisely. So they may give you huge number of details and they can, sometimes councillors can go into the minutest of details which aren't very important. And what listening does is you're effectively throwing off that which is unnecessary and really picking up the, the meat, taking off the bones and just picking up the meat. Okay. And your listening also helps it accuracy. So you're, you're trying to understand whether your perceptions are right or whether your deductions of what the councillor is saying is, is, is more clear. Okay. And in this listening, we're going to be looking at four techniques. Okay. And that's paraphrasing, clarification, reflecting feelings and summarizing. So through these skills is how you help the councillor understand this or, or it, or it helps you come this up. Okay. So these are the, this is the purpose of it. And these are the tools that you use in, in active listening. Okay. So let's go through each of them. Okay. Paraphrasing is, and I know if all of us have taken English in ninth and 10th grade and you've had long passages that you've had to paraphrase, now it's very similar to that. What does paraphrase mean? It's bringing into succinent meaning of what the councillor is talking about. So it's to express the meaning of the statement or a series of statements or different words or paragraphs that the councillor has spoken about. It's, it's in short, just capturing the essence of what is being said. Okay. So when you're paraphrasing, what you're really doing is you're just restating in different words. So for the example that's given here, it's, I'm really doing my best to get on along with them. And so the councillor says, you're really trying very hard to be friendly with them. So what you're doing is you're just reinstating, restating, sorry, restating those words differently so that you, the councillor is being heard, heard. Okay. They know that they're being heard. And how is it done? Very simple. You just restate the basic ideas and the facts or you reword what the councillor's message is. Not really parroting. Okay. Not just saying what they're saying. Like, you know, you're really trying hard. Oh, okay. You're really trying hard to be friendly. Yeah. Yes. Last week, I went there and did. Oh, okay. Last week, you went there. Not that way. But, you know, you take a couple of sentences maybe, and then make it into fewer words without really changing the meaning. And as you're doing that, you're helping them to show that you're listening. You're helping them show that you're understanding. You're helping them also clarify details that may not be, may not be completely spoken about. Okay. So just a couple of examples here, just for us to understand this, the example of paraphrasing. So the councillor says, I don't know about her. One moment, she's really friendly. And the next time I see her, she's totally cold. Okay. So the councillor restates that you haven't experienced her as being very consistent. Okay. So you just paraphrase something that she's told you. Or the councillor says, every moment there is something new to do. There must be 10 different things going on at the same time. So the councillor paraphrased that and says, there seems to be a lot of activities for you to choose from. Okay. Next one, councillor says, he's really crummy. His degree is from a non accredited school. He's had very little training and he has a poor relationship with his wife. So the councillor says, you don't think he's very competent. Okay. So these are just ways in, what do these statements also do? It also helps you to stay in tune with what the councillor is saying. Like I said, there can be a lot of information and data that the councillor gives you. And if you don't paraphrase in between, you can go to sleep or you can go on a journey of your own. Okay. Especially if a story can be very repetitive and can be very mundane and can very be a routine. And it can give you details that really doesn't catch your attention. Okay. So paraphrasing can really help in keeping you on track. Okay. So let's take an example. I'm completely worn out. Not an example of practice. I'm completely worn out. It's twice as difficult for me to get around now with physical difficulty and my family thinks I'm feeling sorry for myself. Can you take us? How will you paraphrase this? Hello? Anybody home? Your parents think, so you're saying your parents feel you're disappointed with yourself? Okay. Alright. Okay. Alright. So maybe something like I will probably say, you know, you're exhausted just trying to adjust to this new situation and your family don't seem to be able to understand either. Okay. So I've just kind of paraphrased some of that. Alright. Okay. Good. Good, Che. Thank you. Thank you. One more. I've had it with my son and had to bring his line with I don't feel all alone dealing with this issue right now. Yeah. Students. You're feeling burdened What is he said? She says, I don't feel all alone dealing with the issue now. Right. So there seems to be some sense of a relief, I think, right through what is being said. We can say that you mean by including your husband in the situation, you will find solution or he'll be part of solving the solution. Okay. Alright. Yeah. That's good. Samuel said, you feel relieved that you shared about your son's behavior with your husband. Okay. Good. Good. Or you could say you seem to be feeling much better after having talked to your husband about your son's line. Right. So, so these are these are certain ways. Alright. So what are some of the introductory phrases you can use for paraphrasing? You can say, so what I hear you saying is or it sounds like you dash dash dash if I understand you correctly or you're telling me that these are all helps you to begin your sentences. Okay. It really helps. I mean, these are starters paraphrase starters or paraphrase introductory phrases that you can use. Okay. So that's that's paraphrasing. And if you look in your notes, there are some some homework for you all to do. So please take time to do that because it will only practice how we're going to learn how to do that. Okay. Now, reflecting feelings, that's the second part in listening in attending by listening. And a lot of this you will find even in the next skill we're going to learn responding. Okay. There is a little bit of an overlap, but it comes under attending as well as responding. So don't be confused. Why is this here and why is this there? It works in both attending as well as in responding, reflecting feelings. What's the meaning of it? It's a lot like paraphrase, except that you restate what you the counseling is feeling. Okay. So it is like paraphrasing, but what you do additionally is you restate what the counseling is feeling or you are guessing what the counseling is feeling. So it's not only it appears not only that you understood or heard what is being said, but you've also able to bring out or flesh out the feelings or the emotions that the counseling is experiencing. So here you're restating both the words as well as the feeling. Okay. So let's look at an example. The counseling says, my ex-wife phoned me yesterday. She told me that our daughter is very ill after our accident. I'm feeling very scared for her. They live in the Middle East. So I'm going to have to travel to see her. And now I have been made redundant. I don't know how I can afford to go. Okay. So that's the data or the information that you're given. Okay. So the counselor here says, so you have had some bad news about your little girl who has been involved in an accident. You are frightened for her. And also you have worries over money. Now you have lost your job. What are the emotions that's come up here? The counselor has bought up about the fact that he's frightened and also worried over money. Okay. So counseling says, yes, yes, that's right. Okay. So here notice the counselor does not offer advice or start asking how long he and his wife have been separated, but reflects the emotion of what is said. Okay. Frightened. Right. So that's what we are talking about, reflecting about feelings. All right. So let's take an example. So many things are going on right now. Another hectic semester has started. My dog's sick. My mom's ill too. I find myself running around trying to take care of everything. I'm not sure I can take this anymore. Okay. How would you respond to this? How would you reflect feelings? It seems you're overwhelmed by the situations in your life right now. Very good. Yes. Excellent. So that's what I had in mind. You feel pretty overwhelmed by all the things that are going on right now. Excellent. Thank you, Shay. Okay. So that's, that's again, reflecting feelings. Now there's a similar set again. Nodes, please ensure that you take some time to do it because, you know, these things definitely need practice. Okay. The next one is clarification. What is clarification here? As the word says, you clarify what you thought you heard. And what you do is you are asking questions to clarify. So when you're doing that, you're, you are, you're trying to gauge to see whether your inference has been right or whether your inference has been wrong. Now don't worry if your inference is wrong. You're not there to know everything. And when you actually clarify and say, you know, I'm trying to understand that and say, okay, I'm glad you clarified that for me. I got that, I got that understanding. What does it do? It shows genuineness on your part and shows interest that you really want to know what is the real meaning. Okay. So that really helps. So when you clarify, you are clarifying whether you, you've understood the issue right or you understood that wrong. So how do you start off for clarification? So you can use any of this. I'm not quite sure I understand what you're saying or, you know, you say, oh, I don't clear about the main issue here. Or when you said this, this, this, what did you mean? Or did you mean this, this, this? Or you could say, could you kindly repeat what you said? So that really helps in bringing about a sense of clarification. Okay. Now clarification is, is fairly easy when you haven't quite understood or they're giving you cryptic message, they're saying something without actually having given you a background. Okay. And that really helps them to see that, hey, this person's interested that they haven't figured out this thing here. And so they will say, yeah, I didn't tell you something that I should have told you earlier. And they will probably bring about a lot more of information through that. Okay. The last one is summarizing. Summarizing is you're putting together the whole lot of information that they've given certain themes, certain feelings, and the crux of the information that the council has presented. Okay. So what you're doing is, it's like reading an entire story and summarizing it. Okay. So you are, you are taking the key flesh out of what the entire situation is that they are talking about. Now, why is it necessary to summarize? I mean, I've had, you know, sessions where the council has started from the first minute of the hour till the 60th minute of, they have continued talking without a break. Okay. And it becomes important because often there is a lot of, like I said, rambling, that is, you know, they are bringing it things from here and there. They're very confused and they are huge, unnecessary details that's come or unrelated details have come in. And there you provide some direction. Okay. Or you are actually talking about, I mean, they're saying something and they have gone away from the topic of discussion to something else. Maybe they're talking about their relationship with them and their children. And it's gone on to the children's schools, it's gone on to issues in the playground, it's gone on to the, you know, maybe the diet of the child, it's gone on to very many things. And then so what you're doing is saying that, you know, I heard you saying through all of this, this is something that's important for you, or that, you know, this is what you are struggling with. And you're really looking at finding a solution on this one. So when you summarize it, you've brought direction to that, or you're moving the conversation from one seat to another. Okay, maybe there's a lot of exploration that's done. Okay, a lot of things that's happening there, you want to move them to a place of understanding and to a place of personalizing. And that kind of helps to, when you summarize that, that kind of helps that. Now there are three different kinds of summaries. One is focusing summary. It is used often in the beginning to pull together information, that information that's been shared prior. So that's what's called as focusing summaries that, that are maybe 10 points that have brought out, maybe there's a single point that you're focusing into get on to the conversation. Signal summaries are used to signal that you have captured the essence of their topic and that they can move on. Like, maybe they're saying, they're giving you details about something at work. You're saying, yeah, okay, I understand that this is what you have said. And then maybe you end it with a question, could you tell me a little bit more about what happens at work? So, you know, they may be going on and on about issues at a certain place. So when you want to make them understand, yes, I have heard that, I have understood that, let's move on to something else. Planning summaries are those that help you to progress forward in bringing about certain plans or bringing about certain recommendations or certain agreements that are being made. So you're planning ahead to saying, okay, you know, through this entire hour, this is what we spoke about. You spoke about these four things. Now I'm looking at how is it that we can plan ahead on this certain point. So you're helping them to focus on one certain goal that you would like them to meet. So these are the three different types of summaries that you use. And I've just taken an example, you know, a very short example, but nevertheless, you know, to see a summarizing really happen, you may need to sit through a session how some of these can be actually picked up. So here, the counseling is for a young girl. At the beginning of the session, the girl says, I don't understand why my parents can't live together anymore. I'm not blaming anybody, but it just feels very confusing to me. And she's saying this in a low, soft voice with a lowered voice and her eyes are moist. Around the middle of the same session, she says, I wish they could keep it together. I feel like they can't because they fight about me so much. Maybe I'm the reason they don't want to live together anymore. Okay, so you're able to see that there have been certain key points that this young girl has said. So the counselor here is summarizing and says, earlier today, you indicated you didn't feel like blaming anyone for what's happening to your parents. Now I'm sensing that you're feeling like you are responsible for their breakup. So you've actually bought into this. Okay, and that really helps the counseling to focus on the part of it that makes it more close to her heart to be able to deal with the fact that she didn't want to blame someone or the fact that she feels responsible for their breakup. So this is what summarizing can do. It brings together in a nutshell what you would like your counseling to begin to work on. Okay, moving to the next part. Okay, sorry. What are some summarizing? What you can use is these are the key ideas you have expressed today. Today, we discussed the following issues. Based on our discussion, we agreed that you would do such and such this. Remember, you should be and what you're bringing back something that the counseling said that they will do. What I've heard you say so far is dash dash dash. Okay, so these are just some helpful tips to work through things. Okay, I'm not going through the slide. I think this is fairly easier. What are some of the barriers to listening? It is daydreaming or thinking about your own experience when the counseling is stalking you're actually thinking of what happened to you or thinking about something quite different while the other person is stalking or you're rehearsing that is you're thinking about what you want to say back or you're filtering you're listening to only some interesting parts of the conversation or you're judging that you've stopped listening and you've labeled them or there's ignorance and prejudice. These are some barriers to listening. The last one is attending by observation. Now observation is paying close attention to the behavior of your counseling. Okay, yeah, sorry that word's missing there. So much of the information is seen through your observation. Now, it's important that even as you're interpreting nonverbal behavior, you need to check if your conclusions are right. Okay, and here I've just put in a couple of examples of certain nonverbal expressions that are there and what could be the possible meanings. Okay, so I'm going to go through this very, very quickly. So a direct eye contact means generally means attentiveness. It's a possible meaning. A lack of contact could mean withdrawal. A looking down or in a way means an avoidance or preoccupation. Fixed staring could be uptightness or some sense of a probable mental health condition. Eye blinking can be anxiety or excitement. Squinting or wrinkled brow could mean annoyance or concern or thoughtfulness and dilated pupils could mean alarm or interest. Facial expressions, what are some of the, if there is a flushed face, meaning your face is all filled with blood, it's red in color, it shows embarrassment or anxiety. Eyes open wide and mouth opening is surprise or a sudden insight. A furrowed brow with tight mouth means either concentration or annoyance or rejection of what someone is saying. Like when you say, you know, you do that, it's kind of a rejection of what your counselor has said. All right. The others are shoulders and arms. The shrugging shoulders means an uncertainty or ambivalence. Slouch shoulders is often sadness, withdrawal or a bad posture also. Older dimes can be being, you know, having arms like this can be being emotionally distant. Open gesturing can mean openness to disclosure. That open gesturing means more of, you know, that they are throwing up their arms to you. Okay. Then, sorry. And stiff or unmoving could mean anger or anxiety. Okay. What about the legs in the feet? Crossing and uncrossing of feet can mean anxiety or depression or nervousness or just discomfort or self-protection. Okay. Foot tapping, someone tapping foot can be impatience or it can mean anxiety. Stiff movements can be being close to contact or being repressed. What are the interpretations of certain body movements? Leaning forward shows a tenderness. Leaning away back shows being very withdrawn or feeling rejected. It can also mean relaxation. That really matters on how their arms are also. Okay. But if they move, sit back like that, it shows more of a rejection. Turning the side is avoidance or fear of rejection. Rocking or repetitive motion is usually anxiety, nervousness or it can be even bad habit or it can even be a disorder like a developmental disorder. You know, maybe someone who has autism or developmental delays could also have those motions. So that's why you've got to be careful that you don't make quick judgments. Habitual movements could be impatience or even just a bad habit. Okay. So what does observation specifically work through? What you're doing is you are having an indication of the counseling and what they may be going through. Okay. And even as you are talking and even as you are sharing or you are, bringing about your conversation, you can actually gauge the effectiveness of what you're saying by their facial expressions. Okay. Like, are they looking away or do they seem to be bored or are they keenly listening or, you know, do they have their mouths open that they're just so unconscious about how their physical expressions appear could actually give you a lot of understanding. Okay. Now learning to attend only comes by observing and practicing. So all of these skills that we spoke about today comes only when we are, we practice it and we observe. So this does not come and I really want to encourage all of you to do that on a regular basis even as you are just generally talking to people to be able to observe this and use these attending skills. You will begin to find the difference in the way that people begin to relate to you. Okay. All right. Are there any questions quickly? Maybe a minute for questions and then we can, we could close for the day. Any questions? Okay. I guess not. All right. So let's, let's just close. May I request somebody to close with a word of prayer? Anyone could close with a word of prayer? Nisha, would you like to close with a word of prayer? If you have your... Yes. Let's pray. Yes, Elayshah. Go ahead. Yeah. Our most precious father, we thank you this morning. We bless you for this opportunity to gather here. Oh Lord. Amen. Father, we pray that whatever that we have been taught, Father, may it impact our lives, may it, oh God, be part of us as we constantly interact with people so that you help and you will be able to influence others whom you brought in our way. Father, we pray that may you continue to be with us, your presence continue to be with us and bless us and see us through the day. In Jesus' mighty name we pray. Amen. Amen. Thank you, Elayshah. Thank you all. Please ensure that you do your assessment. Please do not forget that. March 7th is the last day. God bless and we will meet again next week. God be with you. Thank you. Thank you. Bye-bye.