 I don't think it's a good idea to start experimenting with meth when we're babysitting are we live man yeah we are episode number 12, the mighty Michael foley ashore podcast. here in michael's basement it's been a wild man. how much would it cost for you to try meth to try meth? How much would we have to pay you to do meth? How much of it? How much do I have to do? Just one hit. A big fucking pipe hit. Like a dollar hit. Nothing that's going to kill you. No, but like a decent hit. Why? Just because it's science. How much are you offering? No. Yeah, no. Tell us how much. No, this is a... You tell us what you're offering. You tell us what you're... It's fair. How much would you do meth for? Oh, it's so disgusting to me. I don't know, like a grand? You would try meth for a grand. Really? We're okay. On your holidays, when you have holidays from clang-clang-clang, you have to fucking... If we give you a grand, you will do meth. On the boys' trip, you'll do meth. We won't film you doing it, but we'll let people know that you're going to do meth and then you walk off camera, do meth and then come back and tell us what it's like. Oh, no! This is a horrible conversation. You said you'd do it for a grand. Yeah, of course I would. I'm just saying it's not very... Anyway... Let us know if you would like to see meth on meth. It's not very, very. It is very, very. If you'd like to see meth on meth. I would love to see meth on meth. That's a very good idea. Yeah, we're going to try that. Anyway... I'm scared what it'll do to me. It's not. Yeah, it'll fuck you up. Become super brown. No, you'll love it. Dude, yeah, it is. It's pretty fun. I'll have all of you. I reckon on the boys' trip, you do it and then you get to stay awake. You get to enjoy the whole boys' trip. There's no sleeping. We should all do meth on the boys' trip. That's what he was leading to, is that we all get on meth. Let's do... It makes boys' trip. And if the purist one does it... If we all do meth... We'll have a meth day. If you all do meth. If we all do meth. Will you do it for free? No. But there's days for your clank-clunk work not to know that it's in your system. I don't want to do it. Okay. So that's why the money option will bring me in. Meth day on the boys' trip. You do it for a grand. That's a thousand dollar offer for any friend. That's pretty good. If they want to do meth. Everyone should be able to pay their mate if they have the money to do meth. Let's see how good your self-control is, mate. Let's see if you get addicted, cunt. We should pay him ten grand and see if we can get him hooked. We call him meth, Matt. Or just meth. Or brownie meth. Oh, dude. Yeah, fuck. Maybe not. We won't get you hooked, Matt. But I would love. I reckon we should have a meth day at the next boys' trip. We'll think about it. Comment. Let us know if you think we should do meth on the next boys' trip. And if Matt should do meth, especially for a thousand dollars. All right, fucking shit talk. We had a bit of a mate's wedding on the weekend. Didn't we, Matt Brown? We did. Emile's was very lovely. I wasn't invited. No, you weren't invited. No. It's like the second wedding I haven't been allowed to go to. The funny thing was, one of the girls were there, goes, oh, I heard Marty from Marty and Michael's coming. Oh yeah, he is. And then they went, oh, I heard he's the better one of the two to invite. And I said, oh, to be honest, I think it's the other way around. I think Michael would actually quite decent. It depends. If you got me like proper plastered, it could be like. Yeah, you might not have had enough respect for Emile. It would have just been a wedding that I'm allowed to destroy. No, no, no, I understand. It was small and intimate. Like you would have, it would have been fun. Yeah, it was only like 27 people or something. Yeah, it was quite nice. Quite intimate. But anyway, it was a very fun night. I had a little dance with Emile in front of his family. Yeah, I gave him a kiss in front of his whole family. On the lips? On the lips. Oh man, that's funny. Very funny. With tongue? Nah, I tried. Okay, nothing. Sorry. Yeah, well, guess what? What? It's my birthday. It's been my birthday. Oh yeah, right now. Oh yeah. This is my last week as a 31 year old man. Michael's birthday is on Saturday. We're going to go and have a bit of a party party. That's going to be fucking nuts. I wonder what it's like. I haven't put the deposit down for it yet. So it might not happen. We'll find some way to fucking roll around. I want to do that. And I don't know if you've seen on social media. You know how Michael had a fuckload of rats? Well, remember that? I even sprung up with the idea on a fucking podcast. You might remember. I was like, fuck, it'd be funny to get the rats from inside, from outside to inside. So I bought fucking mouse traps, rat traps, ones that catch them alive. And all of the fucking mice and rats are gone, completely gone. Because we realized it was right after the floods that they left. I haven't heard them since the floods. So we could not catch any fucking rats. So I went and bought 100. And then we fucking threw them in Michael's bedroom. But you weren't even that scared. Well, they were sort of like, I knew they were pet rats. It was scary seeing these weird little creatures. But then I realized, oh, they're pet ones. Because they're all white. They weren't vicious like that one. They were real slow. Like they were cute. And then one bit me and freaked me out. But like, yeah, I'm not into, I must say I did want to keep one. But instead we let them out back. We freed them. We drove to a secluded part of, it was some forest and just released them. But I guarantee they would have been, they're probably all dead now. They stood out so much because they're white. Do you think that all the ones that were in the house originally have been eaten by a giant python? Yeah, maybe. I don't think so. Yeah, I reckon because usually they get... But there were a lot, man. It was like, seriously, we saw 10 that time going across the beam. And I've seen like, oh, probably five other occasions in the garage they were always hanging out. They come out of the bins and jump at me. The snake would be gone now. But I was wondering, because usually when you have a lot of rats in a place, usually you'll find that the snake will show up at some point and eat a few of them. I think that's an urban legend. That's a myth con. Sorry. Sorry about that, hey. But anyway, it's going to be a wild episode. No peer box this week. But what are we having instead? Do we have no peer box? Oh, we got Nicky. We've got your back this week. Yeah, German segment back this week. We're going to start with Nicky's game. A slightly different German game. And other than that, it's just a pretty fucking standard episode. We've got a bachelor brown. We've got a black book entry. We've got Michael's written a Bible entry. Pulled out. We've got a prank call. What did we say for the prank call? What are we doing? I reckon we call up a hotel again. Hotel as Arnold Fine and say he needs his service pig to be able to book a place with his service pig. Sleep in the room because he has anxiety when he goes in public. And the pig's the only thing that stops him from being anxious. And the pig actually identifies as a dog. Or a wife, yeah. So they have to technically now let the pig go in as his wife or dog. So a pretty jam packed fucking episode coming your fucking way. I don't know if you remember last week fucking we said bring your fucking yearbook in Matt Brown and we wanted to see Matt Brown when he was a little little spunky horn dog. So this is actually my sister's one. But remember I told you the story that that there was another Matt Brown in year 12 and my sister was in year 12. You replaced that Brown. And my photo got put in his spot so. Let's have a look here. Try and cover up my sister's name. You get double. Look at Matt Brown. What the fuck man. Holy shit. You look so different there you fucking cunt. Hold it up. Hold it up to the camera but cover my sister's name when you do it. I wonder if that's working. Matt. Matt Brown. It honestly looks like you when you're in high school. How old were you there? I was 14 I think. It doesn't look anything like Matt. If you're listening on Spotify and stuff what would you describe it as? It looks like a pineapple. It looks kind of like a pineapple. You know the cartoon movie 101 Dalmatians? No. The husband of the wife. But instead of that hair it's just like spiked up hair. Did anyone watch Around the Twist? Bronson. Yep yep yep. You look like Bronson. That's a compliment. Anyway that's fucking some childhood shit from Matt Brown. There you go. Also guys don't forget we got let's do our sponsors. Let's do our fucking sponsors. Please like and comment and subscribe. By the way before we get into this please like comment and subscribe. Let me just get the... Why are you saying like comment and subscribe do you want to tell everyone I have a fully actual TikTok. I had guys before we jump into the sponsors we do have a TikTok dedicated to this podcast where we just post little snippets. So it's Marty, Michael, fully actual. On TikToks are gone. If you're on TikTok go and give it a follow. We'll engage with some of this shit. And if you've got any suggestions for TikTok's little snippets from the podcast feel free to send them on through. We'll be doing that. We'll be posting a lot more reels on the fully actual Instagram as well. NordVPN. Do you have a VPN? What? You don't? What the hell, man? You idiot. Don't you know you could have so much security that no one can track where you're fucking going? Don't you want that idiot? No one can fucking track your shit, cunt. Don't you fucking want that cunt? You're fucking idiot. If you don't want that cunt you're a dumb bitch. Seriously. And that's straight from the heart strings. No, I backed that. Look, do you want to know some more shit? It doesn't even make your internet slower. All right. Same speed. What have you got to lose? I'll tell you nothing. Do you know why? It's only $3.35 a month if you go on a two-year plan. That's basically free. On a two-year plan. A two-year plan. Only $3.35 each. Plus, plus, plus. If you use our discount code fully actual, you get a huge discount on top of that and a free bonus gift. Do you understand? Plus an extra month free and there's a money back guarantee if you don't like it. Link is in the description or go to NordVPN.com slash fully actual. If you want all of that insane, it's like free basically. I think, yeah. I think they pay you. Yeah. It's pretty sure you make money. That's how cheap it is. So if you want to make money, get NordVPN. It's like solar power. 110% that. It's a small investment. Just think about it. If you want to watch any show from like like Thailand. Just you get a Thailand VPN. You can watch like their fucking soap, like operas and. Dude, that's really. Thailand shows a great. If you wanted to, you could go to India on your laptop. You actually go to India. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like traveling as a portal. Yeah. Right. It's traveling. You Google India and then do the street maps. And you're there. And you're there. You don't have to travel. And no one knows. And if you've got the VPN on, no one will know you there. No one will know you there. So I'm pretty sure you can't even be seen. Yeah. If you want to run from the government, you get a VPN. Feel any sort of criminal criminal activity. If you buying drugs from the dark web, use NordVPN. 100% that would help out. That would have helped us out so much. And use Bitcoin. Yeah. Anyway, NordVPN. Get it. Get it. Oh, Oh, our second sponsor. Everybody. A fucking manscape. Are you a dumb, hairy piece of shit? Black, wiry first. So thick. People can't even tell you're a human being anymore. We'll go to manscape.com. They got heaps of male grooming product. Some of the best shavers we've ever seen in our lives. They will shave your hair and leave your skin untouched. Do you understand me? Matt's pouring, always pours the shampoo on my legs, uses a bottle every time. Michael and I like to use the nose trimmer. Michael's balls have never been so clean shave and it's sickening. Yeah. Everything smells good for a manscaped. They got ball wipes. They got lip balm. They got deodorants. Just go to manscape.com and see. Now, I know what you're thinking. Thinking, yeah, what do I get out of this? Why would I go on there? Shut up, idiot. 20% off with fully actual 20 as the discount code. You fucking idiot. Get out discount code. You fucking idiot. Look at it. Fully actual 20. Type it in. Now you're saving money. So now you're a dumb fucking dickhead. If you don't fucking use our discount code, cunt. And women can use it too. So our two sponsors combined, you're saving yourself an arm and a leg, plus you have protection and a shaved knee. Hey, while we're on the topic of shaving balls, I was shaving myself before the weekend. And I was like, your testicles. Yeah, everything. You were expecting. And I was trying to get, like, so I'd finished the manscape and it worked perfectly. Exactly how I wanted it to. And I wanted that little extra bit of shave. And so I was getting around like this top it, and like just at the top of like my dick, there was like the lightest of folds in the skin. And it fucking, the razor blade nicked it and it pissed fucking blood everywhere. That's dick pissed blood. So, so don't get the shave. No, the shavers weren't good, but yeah, I used to razor. It worked a little too well. Oh, so it wasn't that way. Yeah, it was a manscape. Okay, there you go. I used a manscape thing. It was perfect. Except I used this razor afterwards. And I nicked myself. And yeah, it just wouldn't stop. I had to do the old shaver trick where you push something gone like a bit of paper on it. Paper. Why does he suddenly smell? All right. And our final sponsor, of course, is the University of Marker. We post a weekly video that's fucking nuts. It's either an adventure from us, but usually it's just a really fucked up video, disgusting or pain that you've never seen before. You will never see this content anywhere else. If you don't believe me, go and have a look. It's a 21 day free trial. So you can leave before you get charged. So if you don't believe me, go prove me wrong. Go on that fucking site. And you show me where you can fucking see that shit anywhere else. It is fucked cunt. There is some crazy shit on there and where the fucking best at it cunt. And right now there's probably in the experiment which kitchen utensils hurt the most. Oh, okay. And let me tell you, mate, it's surprising. The winner is surprising, isn't it? And of course the extended rat prank out right now. Yeah. And then the following week, I think we're going to figure out if humans can become cheaters. You guys asked everyone if they wanted to do vlogs or adventure vlogs. Ringworm of the ring. Well, we've got a fair few comments saying yes. One, there was one that said he wants more pain. Now we've got to figure out where to go vlog. It's like, fuck. I think it's not much in Brisbane. It's like a fucking, there's an airport. There's like a few skyscrapers. Maybe you do it. Maybe you do it as like a thing maybe once a month. Yeah. We need to fucking think it. If you have any suggestions for shit that you want to watch this vlog, let us know because we're always too scared. It's going to be like too boring. If we just go to a fucking like, I don't know, just go like go coding for the day or some shit like that. Yeah, that's there. You can't do that. But what you can do, this is my idea. I reckon we go like, there's a plane wreckage in Brisbane. That's a shit. It is a shit plane wreckage. That's why we want to go there. But we want to go to the plane wreckage and shit on the plane. Because it's a historical piece. Yeah. I'm worried about us putting that out there. No, you're allowed to shit on a wreckage. Bird shit on it. They don't bat an eyelid. Fuck. We can't take it, but we can shit on it. Or at least smear some on. I'll check the books. But anyway, yeah. So we'll be doing some. We'll be doing some adventure vlogs and our typical pain shit as well. So it's fuck. It's over 200 videos on there now. And it funds everything that we do. So fucking gone. Have a fucking geese, brother. Should I get? Is it time for? Break. All right. We're back. If you haven't so far, please. Don't forget to like, subscribe and comment and shit, man. Just lots of comments. But remember, everyone, before we get into on this day, just remember we have a competition. Do we say $2,000? $1,000 for the any, any comment that is put on any podcast of this season. Other way, other way, Michael, other way. Shit. Any comment that is put on any podcast from this season has the chance to win $1,000. The more you comment, the higher chance of winning. And that's across. If you don't even need to make sense, you can just write a comma. And that comment could win $1,000 at the end of the season. Oh my God. I just realized you could have comment of the week and you could pull it out as comment. Like of the year you could double win. Yeah. 100% you could have a double. It's a very small chance. That is $2,000. Highland likely. If that happens, we're all getting fully actual. Imagine if a Marty and Michael. That's two mates on meth. Imagine if Marty, a Marty and Michael comment, won the money. Oh, shit, dude. It could happen and I will. It could actually happen. I'm not lying about anything. One of the time stamp comments wins. Yeah. Anything could happen. Literally, you don't know what's going to happen on this podcast. The other thing is so unexpected, man. There's pubic hair on the fucking table. Yeah. There's piss here. There's piss and shit everywhere, man. On this day. Is the shit still in the toilet? No, we took that out within the hour. Sorry. Too much. On this day in 1992, Steven Seagull emerged from a silver cocoon hanging in the Amazon forest. No one knows exactly what Steven Seagull is, but he has been witnessed communicating with foxes and pigs. He has no family, probably. He has never had a wife either, I think. After thorough research, I personally believe that Steven Seagull is a mutated seed. And if we were to plant Steven Seagull, I believe an alien plant would grow. Really, man? It's true. Bullshit. Fucking look it up. Or a seagull tree. Mutated seed. I met him once in Mongolia. Steven Seagull. Really? Is he the dude that does all the action films heaps? Long hair. He did action films at one point. He has long hair. That's how I remember him, too. Little ponytail. Yeah. I like him. I like him now after that. Yeah, that's impressive. That's really stand up. Stand up, cunt. That's really stand up, cunt. That's journalism at its top fine. It's off tap. Steven Seagull is a mutated seed. Matt Brown figured that out. That should be headlines all over the Daily Mail. Cunt. Cunt. Sorry. Anyway, moving right along to Michael's fucking Bible. Can you please pass me your fucking Bible? Sorry, dude. Okay. All right. Book nine, chapter 12, verse nine from Imagine letting a strange man that you do not know enter your body without a DOM who didn't really go through a proper STI check. Would you let him fuck you? If you let him inside you, you can go to the movies whenever you want and even go out for dinner. If you don't, you only get Netflix and take away at home. The man seems to be friendly but has a lot of support, but he can also be quite forceful. It seems really to give no other choice but to let him fuck you. Just imagine a world where that could be because that world isn't really being much be. If anything, it sounds really shit and dumb. Anyway. Sorry. What was going on there? I think, I don't know. I was like hammer drunk. That's how most Bibles are written. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Jesus was fucking on there. He loved his wine. He loved his opiates too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They used to sleep in all day. Yeah, he was fucking koala. He was fucking, put up on that cross gun. He was passed out. He was smashed. Then they buried him for three days, but he was just fucking out of it. He woke up. That's exactly it. Holy shit. He was fucking gone MIA. He had too many fucking opiates. Oh shit. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Holy shit. We discovered some impressive shit then. All right. It is now time. For the most disgusting segment. Any podcast has ever had before it the most vile sickening inner thoughts of the most deranged sex freak, Matthew Gregory. Oh, that's a little black. I don't think you can talk about me like that. This is pretty much a segment where we find an excerpt from Matthew's black diary here where he has detailed a very vivid description of every single girl that he's ever fucked. Well, girl, corpse, man, thing, whatever. Everything's in there. All of his haves. All right. Now I'm just going to pick one at random. I hope that Matt has personally written. Personally written all of them. No intervention, no help. He just went home, brought me this black book and said here. This is what I used to do. I didn't fucking give it to you. He said here. Here. And he meant here is in H-E-A-R. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Number 30. More on my back. Stop. That's what it says. That's what it says. It was a humid, sticky summer's day. I was lying naked on the roof of my house, scanning my neighborhood for drunk females. Sweat was flowing down my chest and would pool in my belly button. I scratched my scot with my long fingernails, picking fleas off as I went. I was admiring a festering patch of discharge, crusted onto the tip of my little brown. I would gently run my fingers over it and let the hard, crusty outer layer tickle my skin. Discharge had been oozing from my cockmouth for over two weeks and I knew something wasn't right. My little brown lazily flopped around on my belly and I could tell he was feeling quite sick. I must have picked something up from that rotting stillborn I fucked a few weeks ago. I finally scratched the crust off and headed off to my doctor's appointment. I'd never been to a human doctor before and was quite nervous. I arrived and while in the waiting room, my little brown gargled with pain as the other patients shot me concerned glances. The doctor came in and saved my embarrassment. Mr. Brown? Follow me please. I scampered after the doctor like a frightened prawn. The doctor led me into a room and closed the door behind us. So what seems to be the problem, man? My little brown is sick and is producing discharge that smells of cheesy fish and boiled cane toads. Okay, very specific. Why don't you pop your pants off for me and we'll have a look? I slowly stam, still unsure of whether to trust this doctor. I pull my pants down and reveal my writhing little brown. Discharge splattering and spraying from its end. Oh my god. I don't believe I've ever seen anything like this before. I'm gonna have to check your prostate and take some blood. I was unsure what checking my prostate meant but turned around and bent over onto the examination table as instructed. I watched him put the gloves on and then apply lubricant to his finger. Alright, you might feel a bit of pressure here, he said. This can't be happening. Is this doctor attempting to have me after I showed him my festering disease little brown? Surely this man wasn't a doctor. I'd never heard of such treatments. Sure enough, I feel his hands separate my huge ass cheeks and I feel his finger glide into my messy, messy dot. I was stunned. Frozen with fear as his finger fiddled around and worked a twilight on my colon. My mind was racing but then I looked down and see that my little brown looks healthier. He is rock hard and seemingly enjoying this man's finger. The discharge had stopped and it was swollen and throbbing like it usually does. I could see the cream running through my protruding cock veins. I realised that this may be how human doctors treat my particular ailment. Maybe having cue was my stinky discharge. I suddenly became more relaxed and started enjoying the experience. I pressed back into the doctor whose entire hand now disappeared up my thirsty asshole. I felt the doctor try and pull his hand out but I gripped his wrist with my ring muscles and just like a snake, I began swallowing this doctor's arm. What's going on? The doctor shouted. His feet fuelled my lust and my ass enveloped him further up to his shoulder now. He was on his knees desperately trying to pull his arm free. What are you? Help! Help me! I turned my head 180 degrees so I could look him in the eyes. I am Matt Brown. Suddenly my asshole relaxes and he falls back as his arm is freed. My little brown is swaying from side to side. He gets to bury itself in this doctor. I jump on top of the doctor and grab his head on either side. I lower my face so it's an inch from his. I study him as my eyes dart around his face independently. Just like those chameleon lizards. He seems to be scared which was strange I thought. He must be excited to give me my treatment. My tongue explodes into his mouth and wraps itself around the doctor's tongue and starts working up and down like it's joking it. My little brown has already crawled in between his legs and has eaten a hole in the back of his pants. The doctor's arms are flailing around and his eyes were wide open. I couldn't understand what he was saying as I still had his tongue wrapped up in mine. I assumed he was enjoying it and continued. My little brown borrows in between his cheeks and dives into his ass and plunges into his inner shit. I start rolling my hips, falls in back while still filling his entire mouth with my tongue. The doctor was kicking and pushing ferociously. He must really have been loving this. We roll around on the floor knocking over chairs and equipment. My roll fucking starts to speed up and my eyes spasm with pleasure. I grind bang harder and heavier. My little brown had drilled its way through the doctor's collar and was now sitting in his stomach. The doctor had tears running from his shocked face. I still couldn't make out what he was saying but through his muffled screams, but I was getting close to climax. I release his tongue from my tongue and arch my back as my hips hit top's fucks thrust speed. Power fucking at such speed that my hips were a blur. Greasy black men's power flung from my little brown deep into the doctor's body when he maintained eye contact. As I filled and soon my men's began gushing from his eyes, ears and mouth as his body was full. I finally finished men's thing and I unplugged my little brown from his body. Men's was still bubbling and steaming from the doctor's orifices as he lay on the floor. He was dead. He couldn't handle my men's. Strange that this is how the doctor chose to treat me yet couldn't handle it himself. His treatment did seem to work though and my little brown looked completely back to normal. This doctor sacrificed his life so that I could have a healthy little brown. Thank you kind doctor. I gently kissed him on the forehead, shit in my nappy and penguin dove out the third story window. I pounded backwards home and was glad that my human doctor experience was so wonderful. I no longer fear doctors. He pencil dove? He penguin dove. Oh my God. I prefer pencil but that is good. Holy shit Matt, that was very... You love doctors. That's why you love doctors now. You love going on the doctors just because you might get a prostate check which you Matt thinks is sex. Matt thinks the doctor was doing that on purpose initiating sex. But no Matt, that's just him checking prostate and you killed him for that. Oh no. You killed him for no reason. He was panicking and he couldn't talk to you because you had his tongue wrapped around him. Your tongue wrapped around his. Oh my God. He couldn't scream properly. Flailing his arms and legs. Until you filled him with so much ejaculate that it poured from his mouth and eyes. Yeah, sorry about that. And that's not right. Holy shit, dude. That is so intense. Guys, if you can't support us in any other way, right, please just like... If we've put a little small on that dial, please like, subscribe, and don't forget to comment anything. Every time you comment, not only are you helping us, but you're helping yourself and you're being financial. Because you can win a thousand fucking dollars. Please go ahead and do that. And if you're on Spotify, give us a five-star rating. It's so easy. Just search for us and then you click on the stars and go five-star done. Remember? I'm so good with it. Far too ringed, mate. Dude, that was the most intense fucking Brown yet. Really? He killed a man. Yeah, you killed a man. I lost Markle to giggles. Holy shit, dude. It's so intense. Dude. You've murdered someone. Oh. Speaking of murdering people, Matt murdering people, it's time for us, one of our favourite segments. It's time for Michael and I to step into Matt Brown's life. It's not one of our favourite. Fucking organise it, right? It's time for Bachelor Brown Brown Brown. Bachelor Brown Brown Brown. He's right behind you. He's always behind you. Please turn around before it's too late. He's right behind you. Oh, my God. Matt Brown's right behind you. And this is a segment where Michael and I hand-select. The neighbours will be like, wow. Females to have a phone date with Matt Brown, okay? Hand-pick them. And just to help Matt on the right path, we know what he needs to look for in a girl. Matt has no idea. There he sits. All alone on a toilet. Grown man. I'm sitting on a toilet talking absolute nonsense. There's no shit in the toilet. And completely single. Actually, one of the funniest things that wedding was, nearly every single person was in a couple and that was the ongoing thing. Oh, so where's your, you know, who's your partner? Like, you know what I mean? Where's your girlfriend? Yeah, so are you seeing anyone? She's in the trunk of my car. Wow, we did see Matt, like dance with someone. Yeah, man. Yeah, she was my partner in the, cause I was part of the wedding party, everyone. And she was my partner for the wedding party. She was really good. Connor, I trust you. Of course. Connor's going to love that. Of course you'll leave it. But do you think that you think we might be cancelled? Yeah. I don't know. It's sort of promoting clank clunk. What's clank clunk? Giggle, giggle, giggle. Clank clunk clunk. All right, let's get this over with because it's not fun to me. All right, this is a segment way. Like I said, we find a girl from that brand and we call her live on the show and fucking help Matt through this because he is so bad at it. You wait till you hear how bad Matt is at this. I'm already sweating. Yeah, exactly. What's her name? Shaza? Shaza. Yup. Shaza. Shaza. Dude. Matt. Don't start your Judgy McPants. You're called Matt. You are Matt Brown and you are Greg's son. Giggle, giggle, giggle. Giggle, giggle, giggle. All right, here we go. Here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go. Hello. Hello, Sharon. This is Marty and Michael here and you are on the Marty and Michael fully actual podcast and I have a very excited but timid Matt Brown next to me. He's been stressing about talking to you. He's a really nice guy. Don't judge him just based off what you're about to hear from him alone because he's a nervous fucking wreck and his eyes are shooting all over the place and there's drool all down his front. Check if it's her yet? She haven't even given her a chance to speak. Giggle, giggle, giggle. Could be the wrong number. Hello, is this Sharon? Shaza, yup. Yes, I thought it might have been Matt. I thought it might have been. All right, Shaza, well, look, I'm gonna let Matt talk to you and he's gonna sort of ask some questions about you and just try and get to know you a little bit. Go, Matt. Come on. Think of something. Ah. That's good. Come on. Come on, Matt. Oh, my God. Tell her what you do. Dude, ask her something. This is so embarrassing. Can you stop for a sec? Shaza, do you have anything you'd like to ask Matt to try and break the ice? His hands are literally shaking. He's bleeding right now. Yeah. I do have a question. So it's, say, the Sunday. Now, if you were to meet my mother, what would you get her some other day? Holy shit. That's so relevant. Fucking get a one of these. Hang on. Stop it. Get a one of these. Sit down. Sit down. I don't know your mother, so I would be very smart and I'd buy her flowers. What would you say to her? So my mother is actually a gardener and she thinks it's an absolute waste of money buying flowers. She'd punch you. She'd get punched in the face. She'd set me up. She'd set me up. So what would your mom do if Matt gave her a dozen of the freshest red roses? She'd be so polite about it. She is the sweetest human. Oh, there you go, Matt. See, all mothers are sweet. Matt, calm down. Okay, you're talking to Shaza. You're not having to go to a mom. He's swelled up a bit, man. He got a bit excited. Shaza, I'm threesome. Can you calm down? Shaza, I notice you have a... Is it a Kiwi accent? I do, yeah. So we're about to... You're in New Zealand? Oh, here we go. Where are you from? I'm from Orton, but I've only been back in New Zealand for about 18 months now. Oh, okay. Get off me. God. So were you in Australia before that? No. So I've seen the last four years in Canada before that, in Peru and Bolivia. And before that, I actually lived in Peru. You're in Peru and Bolivia? Ask her if she's ever married. I went there once. Ask her if she likes anyone from the podcast. Do you like anyone from the podcast? This is Maria Michael. Ask her if she likes anyone from the podcast. More than a friend. Do you? This is so shit. Do you like anyone on the podcast more than a friend? Oh, definitely you. Okay. Please. Shaza, what do you do when you're not working? What would you do for fun? I try and spend as much time as I can with my family and friends since I've been away for so long. Okay, that's good. Where have they been? No, me. I was travelling. She was travelling. Ask her if she'd consider going out with someone from the podcast. Before I ask her that question, hey, when you were in Bolivia, Shaza, did you go to, is it Route 36 or 26? It's neither. I'm curious. Where's the cocaine store? Shaza? Oh, right. I was just in La Paz for a little bit more time in Peru. Okay. Yeah, I know. I wrote my name on the wall there anyway. Shaza, do you ever come? Do you come to Australia a bit or not much? I am planning to go there in September for a friend's wedding. Where is the wedding at? It's in Perth. You are willing to go to Perth? Pick you up on the way. You always said you go to Perth. You said that you did want to go there. I do want to go to Perth. Do you get a plus one to this wedding, Shaz? No, you can't invite myself to a wedding. That's out of control. You are not inviting yourself. I am inviting you. Do you have a plus one to this wedding, Shaz? Sure, I could get a plus one to the wedding. Oh, that Matthew Brown is going to another wedding. Hang on. Shaza, when we get off the phone here, do you have Instagram? Would you mind adding mattbrown1111 on Instagram? It's four ones. I actually just bought this phone call. Oh, she already does. That's perfect. Maybe you guys can have a conversation. And I seriously think that Michael and I would be happy to pay for the costs of the travel. But if you can get a plus one to that wedding, we would really love to send Matt Brown with you. Oh, no. No. Yeah, dude, we're going on an excursion. No. You're going on an excursion. It's just a fun date. What a better a fun date than a wedding, baby. Yeah, weddings are... I also... ...coming up in February in New Zealand. See, she's moved pretty well. You can go to New Zealand. Yes. See, this is perfect. All right, well, look. This sounds like it could be very promising. Yeah, look. Send us the details of whatever the travel costs are. No. Michael and I will fix that. No. And then we'll just book that in. And then you guys can go on a wonderful date to a wedding you're lucky boy. Hey. I'm so lucky. I'm so lucky. We're doing this for you, ain't we? We should do math. Do the math at the wedding together. Oh, she's laughing. Math and Matt can come out. We'll give you a grand. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Shaza, I've never done math. He said he would for a grand. He said he would for the next boys' trip. They're trying to get me to do it. And I don't want it. You are doing it for the next boys' trip. Holy shit. So you guys are pretty much together now. No. I reckon that's that. You guys are gone. You guys are now together. That's actually serious. It's actually a serious relationship. Agreed? Okay. We found you a girlfriend. Shaza, it's been really good chatting to you. Thank you for your time, Shaz. And we wish you and Matt all the best. And yeah, like I said, just flip me the bill for the extra travel costs and Michael and I'll fix it. Holy shit. Stop telling. Stop saying you're going to fly me places and fly people. Happy chatting to Matt Brown. And we wish you guys all the best. We really do. He's got a golden, golden heart in the very center surrounded by hot mints and lust sperm. But in the very center, it's a golden heart. Isn't it, Matt Brown? It just sounds so romantic. Pardon? It just sounds so romantic. Yeah, exactly. And what a beautiful first date we've set up for you guys. You're welcome. All right, Sharon. Have a lovely day. We love you. Matt Brown especially loves you very much more than a friend. And he can't wait to see you at the wedding. See you, Shaza. Love you. See you. Thanks, Shaza. Bye, Shaz. Bye. Bye. You have a girlfriend now. Dude, you have the best date lined up. Oh, man, that's like the sickest illest shit ever. Does it smell like poo? Bosley. It's amazing. That's incredible. I just got a bit of sweat dripping down there. Yeah, I like to put it on there. La, la, la, la, la, la. Weeks. That's promising, man. Are you talking to the one from last week? Oh, so two updates. Holy shit. Yes, two updates. Before we continue with our great Shaza is, and we're going to fly me to different parts of the world. So, yes, last week I had some good. This man, she's coming to live with you. Shada, she's very nice. She's coming. We got him a roommate and now a wedding date. Don't say it because I think she would actually fly here. Yeah, we're serious. And I'm not. What do you mean, Matt? Anyway, anyway, last week, last week we pointed out that Alexi bailed on us. Yeah. Well, she came back with a vengeance. Oh. What happened? Nothing, nothing. She, because I said she just disappeared. I didn't know what happened. And then, boom, she reappeared and sent me some chats. And we've been talking. Send you some chats. Like what? Are you guys floating? Yeah. Oh, I think so. So you've seen her now? She's very, yeah. She's very flirty. It's hard to. She's top three. To be honest, I think trying to call a top three right now is really difficult. Yeah. He doesn't want to, he doesn't want to show his hand yet. I get it. I get it. He wants to keep. Let's write him down. He wants to fucking string them all along until he finally picks three things. Hang on, hang on, hang on. No, Michael, we'll do it later. It's going to be a task. Okay. Oh, wow. We really go talk it through. Oh, yeah. She's automatically. Look, Matt, how can you be upset with this? You've got, a roommate if you want it there. You've got a date in Perth if you want it there. You've got girls flirting with you on the ground. What more could you fucking want? You had a fucking date? You had a fucking date with a lovely young lady. Remember? Yes. All in the space of 12 weeks. It is only a matter of time. You'll be married in our, I reckon, two weeks. Give us another 12 weeks and you should have a wife hanging off your sores. Oh, just sorry. Oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Anyway, moving, moving right along. And that's a cow, which means it's time for a question of comment of the week where we have a shit board where we cut out with scissors and glue onto a board. If you win comment of the week, any comment can win comment of the week. We just quickly scroll through and just pick one at complete random. They're all the previous winners all of the people on that board are in the running to win a thousand another thousand dollars at The end of the year. Okay, so if you get put on this board, you'll have a one-in-thirty-nine chance of winning a thousand dollars at The end of the year. I like those odds cunt Stand by stand by that's solid odds We've picked another comment is so that's a separate competition to just a random comment that's gonna win a thousand dollars So we have common of the week and random comic. There are two competitions. You can both win a thousand dollars He's a grown man Yeah, what Matt said you're very stoned in your delivery of things so I need to be straight with it sometimes Okay, all right We've already done them. Yeah, I just like spraying. It's like cooling. Yeah, I could've got stuff I wonder if people pick up like the difference between the start the bomb break and then the rest of it All right, let's move on all right comment of the week Do we have the comment over the way you sent it to me? What is it Matt what is it Matt what is it Matt what is it Matt all right comment of the week went to Chris Cullen? Yes? And the comment is Matt's dad Greg Oh Chris Cullen so Chris Cullen you're going on the board and you're in the run running to win Well, you're in the rain to win two sets of thousand, but one of them is very good. Yeah, you've got one in one and 39 fuck another thousand dollars No, no, no, no stop putting money out. No one in thirty nine if you're in the comment I know but he just said another thousand. I don't know what he's talking about two thousand one thousand to two different people in the comments That's two thousand dollars. Yeah, I'm sure odds to one in twenty four point five chance of winning. Yeah, that's right Wow two mates on math you can get if you win two All right, that's was off to some by the way. That's coming in It's not as firm when I do yours Yeah, he's very relaxed and with Matt Brown. It's more like Because he's on a toilet Anyway, you got to be serious about it. All right. Here we go. So these are the questions now these are the questions now Your question or you we read the questions with the most likes, okay? So once you write your question have a scroll through see which questions you like give them a like We read the ones with the most likes first and work your way down and see what happens And unless we've answered them before in which case sometimes we don't answer the most liked questions moving on Yeah All right, top question went to We're fucking fucked up man Make noises Top question went to kill us Okay, here we go. All right, are you guys going to do another members dare soon The one you guys did is one of my favorite videos and I'd love to see another one with love from Canada Yeah, a hundred percent because we're sort of like where it's hard to continually think of so many Pain videos, you know, we feel like we're just like recycling shit So we will 100% become new members soon All right next question is from It's either yasco or jasco. Not sure where they're from and I can't say the last name is omegragic omegragic Yasco omegragic Question for the podcast. How is Matt Brown going to die? We've said this I don't know we did our deaths. I was a motorcycle accident. What was my was I think some sort of complications with an infection on your test Oh, I don't think that was it. I don't want that one either. Oh, I think that that's how you'll go to be honest I don't like it testicle infection. How would yours be? We said a massive Yeah, we all got I retract that now, I believe my heart is fine blood pressure is doing good Lifestyle still not not as healthy as it can be and I'm still I don't feel my heart beating as much anymore I'm not measuring it because it just freaks me out. What is it now kidney failure? No starvation Starvation you die of bulimia Yeah, true get addicted to that you will oh, it's in control. It's in control, but I get it and now It's in control next question is from Matt dog 99 question for the pockers. What does the term king hit mean? He's obviously not from Australia a king here is a slang term for Just punching someone in the head as hard as you can I think another country to call it a cheap shot. Have you ever been king hit Matt? It doesn't need to be as I think that's a common misconception I could be in a fight with someone that they could be facing me and then I king hit them still It's just as hard. It's like a haymaker that I thought the king hit is when you when you hit someone and they're unaware that they're About to get clean that's a coward punch. Yeah, that's a coward. Fuck it is too. What is a king or a legend swing? Heroes punch God yeah, well I'm happy to hear people's opinions on that because I thought it was when you hit him from within. Yeah We've been coward-punched. Oh man. Oh, yeah My tooth goes through my lip once with a coward punch. Yeah, I had like an ice socket, you know I was thinking about that fucking The brawl in Paris the other day. I'm pretty sure that I was knocked unconscious Yeah, well, that's what happens. You sort of sort of like realize I remember that was because I came to and no one was in And then I got up and everyone had been cleared to the sides and everyone's just staring at me And then I just walked outside with a broken fucking nose It's like the time we were lying at like a service Paradise bar and then apparently oh, I got hit and you got kicked out And I just stayed in the line Fucking was standing in a line Michael starts off arguing with some weird fuck behind us Oh, and then Michael just he just fucking punches Michael as hard as he can and then I grab him and bear hug him The security guard sees us fucking wrestling and then kicks us out and Michael's like Concussed and fucked just waiting in line Facing the front and I was a Michael and he just wouldn't respond to me and went into the fucking club And I'm like waiting outside That is fucked. Yeah, that's really bad again. Yeah, we've been king at heart Yeah, the time in Paris same thing tooth went through the lip. It's so annoying. I've had two three piercing I don't think I've ever been king. I've had twice I've heard the footsteps of someone coming at me and I've ducked and got out of the way But I've never been king hit though How much would it cost for you to let us like someone Brown gets king hit on man, would you how much more would you hit? I don't want to get king hit at all Well, so maybe 10 grand 35 if I was 25 I take grand for a king hit now I'd have to get 50k I wouldn't do it 50k Yeah, you could die you could fully die and who's hitting me because I James Lee He goes 50% Yeah, John five I'll take a king hit from John Farnham But don't put like a James Lee on it because I've seen James Lee hit the machine before and it's fucking terrifying Well, imagine he just you're the boys trying to understand Oh Bang I would watch that I would pay some money, but only if you're okay after my brand gets Message him ask him if you'll do it. We'll do it later. Um, all right next question is from toxic plays Marty Michael, why do farts smell worse in the shower? It's a great like sort of we actually have a new idea Yeah, about that. Um, dude does everything smell worse in the shower But like, oh, I guess we could just sort of go take it different types of shit. Maybe some vomit and piss Yeah, what else how do you step it up? It'd be good if we had some golly. How's the cum bottle coming along? Well as a rice smile on his face, is it getting there how much do this with your fingers show I'm not showing you anything please all I'm gonna tell you is I Have attempted to start it out of curiosity of what would happen to it you test it out to test it out and I couldn't resist like I couldn't resist the golly bottle smelling it just to check after like I can't remember how long and It is quite fucked. It's just dry on the sides. Yeah, it is over you may know it doesn't go dry When you're gonna go like golly, it's yeah, it's it's Not much just don't you worry about how much okay, I can't do I can't do this I can't do this because if I do this everyone's gonna know what masturbating a lot All right, everyone already know just know that it's not a good time. No, you love on it You're getting paid to do your favorite pastime How many loads it is can you keep yes, I know Don't stress. I know how many it is and I will continue whoever can guess it gets a thousand Thousands with the episode before with a reveal will get you guys guess whoever gets it correctly You know you get you have those um though at work, they'll do guess how many smarties are in the job That was a bit out of control yuck they're on my leg My next question is from ringworm D 001 Is there any warning or text calls that go out to the neighbors before a video or a podcast so you don't scare the shit out of them No, not in the neighbors here. They're fine with it They use your counter and it's pretty fucking soundproof counter in this fortress It's fucking fortress in here counter. Well, yeah, and they're all cool. They're all lovely people. Yeah, they're all fine Well, they count to Next question is from your face Um You guys have explained before what you think your parents would think about what you do, but um How do you think your parents would describe what you do for a living to someone else? I think mom's told me I think she just says that I I'm a business owner or something or she or Just that I make videos or something like that. Maybe like a one sentence fucking Try and move on to the next subject type reply. Yeah, I don't know. I think they yeah, I have to ask them They work in the media industry The meat industry, yeah, the media industry Yeah One of those two I think that they would say that Oh, yeah, he's a butcher. He was in the meat industry. He's a butcher. I have no understanding of what we do I Just listen to one. I'll I'm fine prank call about his pigs and just assume that that's what we do The butcher Next question Next question is from clo clo Question for the pod how disgusted or weeded out on a scale of zero to ten Were your girlfriends with the podcast last week PS Bosley is the coolest dude They were fine with it. Yeah, they thought that monthly that held back like 10% and I it's probably right But some people reacted really positively that you and the prank call was one of my favorites Like Rhonda is the best to listen to But yeah, no that yeah, they don't mind they look this happens at home to come Question for the podcast Matt what's the story on your dad getting stabbed in the face was that not prepared? So last week I think I mentioned in chatter that my dad got stabbed in the face I'll keep it short and sweet He was in a years ago He was in a 7-eleven and a robbery took place and a dude walked up to him and stabbed him in the face Oh Yeah, both of you Anyway, um, he got caught he got caught from the ear down to the cheek. He was also Being robbed. Yeah, those 7-eleven was getting robbed. Oh, it wasn't just a random attack No, I walked in there The guy walked in there and was wanted to you know make a scene to make sure he got the cash Did he get the cash and he say you got the cash your dad doesn't even have a scar there though No, it's healed up pretty good. He was it was pretty sliced open when it first happened I wish I could have a photo. Did you get a big payout? I don't know. I don't know probably ever call your name You're dad by his name Greg No, it's always times. Would you do a video where you go up to him and just call him Greg? Yeah, I'll do that next time I see him. I would love to see that. What do you want me to say? Hey Greg kiss his cheek with an open mouth Oh How much would it cost for you to kiss your dad on the cheek with an open mouth? No on meth The meth would probably make it easier 100% a wood. Oh, wow Wood Um, next question is from from a Romano Peterson I think Would you ever consider doing another series similar to which sport is the scariest? Yes Yeah, look, we want to do a Marty vs. Michael series. I don't know when yet We're working hard to get a backlog of videos. We're like two and a half weeks ahead So if we were to stop filming right now, we'd have two and a half weeks of videos to come out But remember it's hard for us to get ahead. We push three Facebook I was thinking about it the other day We three Facebook videos on the other page one on them on the main in YouTube plus fucking the podcast plus a website video Plus tiktoks. Sounds like you should hire Fucking insane. Come on You reckon Get around get around Yeah Next question from brass Carter, when will Matt Brown ever get a girlfriend? Well, I reckon two weeks you have a wife two weeks. I'm gonna be married. That's very Very optimistic. Look, I reckon by the end of the season, you'll have a fucking thing on your arm I'm gonna have to have everything talked his arm went all the way up to his shoulder I Lost him again Oh When you're ready Michael Okay, yeah, yeah, Michael and then his head spun around 180 degrees Oh Okay, I'm good. Yeah, sorry you ready? Sorry. Sorry When to see if he goes off again, I'm good Next question I'll sorry last question is from Ed boy con What are what are your guilty pleasures? Sugar is fucking good. I love some treat. Oh Man, it is addictive. I had half a packet of pastels Pastel lollies like sugar coated lollies. I had a kick at chunky and then I had half a bag of lollies again I had too much sugar. No, that was Sunday. Yeah Monday night morning last night Too much I can gorge on sugar. Yeah, no, you have it like it's a meal and you've learned that habit through your childhood. Yeah Yeah, we fucking had a day lollies had a day off yesterday cuz it's public holiday here in Australia Yeah, it's been we've been naughty boys. I've been eating pretty badly. Hey my back sore from this toilet I Lean back. Yeah, no that hurts. It's cuz my goes into my back. You get a pillow or something man God, this is shit. Get a pillow. Yeah, you get a pillow to put there But you got toilet cover you could put there a lot of things. I got it. All right. Well, we might as well have a Such a good way and we're back look at Bosley everyone see such a perfect animal I got a pillow. Look at his lilies. It's a bit darker than the rest of him Unbelievable. I love it when you like He's nine now nine years old Brown. He fully sighs. He can sign that and I guess Yeah, if we're being too loud or something you'll do that Sign leave if he hasn't had dinner. He wants to go for a W. Yeah, he ends up being such an annoying fuck Mending me to Anyway, so moving right along to the German segment. Yeah, how are we doing this one now? I don't know if you guys remember but when we first started the German segment It was me reading a German sentence and then giving Michael a few options to choose which what it means Okay, I guess so it's pretty much German or gibberish But it's all German. You have to guess what it means. We'll do we'll do three. Okay. We'll give it a chance We'll do back to it. Thank you Nikki for doing this again Sorry Oh All right Did I explain what we're doing already? I Can't remember. Yeah, what are we doing? I'm very confused. Are you just gonna read it out? Michael's gonna guess. Yeah, so I read out and you can guess to yeah, yeah, yeah, you guess to brown town Not good at this number one Diaz back from fence up Diaz back from fence up Now that could either mean Number one. She's she is away from the window or number two. Nobody cares about her anymore I'm gonna go. Nobody cares about her anymore Okay in the first one because Michael is correct one no muscle one it is it means She's away from the window Let's take the hand me. I'll make a pile for the used ones. We get confused. You love piles of you Yeah, oh my god Oh Darfur leg ich meine Hansen's fire Darfur leg ich meine Hansen's fire. I'm struggling from Bosley That could either mean for that. I lay my hands in fire or I promise I swear I reckon it's the first one. Yeah, lay my hands in fire. That was demonic. You're both correct to one to Michael That last word Have you done three yet? It's been a long time. Sorry. This is the third one now So Which could either mean I give up or I throw the towel I throw the towel. Oh Yeah, cuz all is towel of course It's shot. Come on. You don't know that. Yep. You were both correct Michael wins three two All right, and now that is the German segment ever. How did you get paid you go playing along at home everyone? Did you guess three out of three? Let me let us know on the ground. That is good interaction with fans You know us. Do you want to do a punishment? Okay Yeah, well, I will have some thanks. Oh Oh Since Matt lost now I get to hit him as hard as I can with his wooden spoon All right, where do you want it cunt? You're on your fucking belly or what? This will be with the might of the doctor's spirit in my feeling at tonight, please be nice you fucking kill them in Oh, you backed up of it. Yeah, I made it worse though Sorry that will maybe the doctor's okay with you killing him. He was only he wanted to die There's only a doctor. I thought it's only a man The spirit of his hit was not that bad. So you're fine. He only killed just a man It's all right. Show me the mark. Show me the marks. Show me the marks I'm that brown as a little red. Well, I hit him hard with the wooden spoon Now we are moving right along no PR box this week We don't have anything sent in if you do want to send us anything Remember send it to peer box two five six taken four zero one eight Queensland Australia send us whatever you want Send us your body parts and this crazy shit They send us stuff to eat send us stuff to apply to our skin Baby, we'll send me a podcast send me a girl send Matt parts of a girlfriend. I'll put her together You know what I'm saying. Yeah, we should get a mannequin and then whatever you send in at the end of the season Whatever's on the mannequin is your now. That's like a requiefton. We build like a That was my envision for the PR box at the beginning of the season. We're getting what's his name armad The mannequin. Yeah Oh, what was his name? I can't remember. Hey, Mish. Chesna Chesna we build him we put him here and whatever people send in we add to the mannequin I can't know. That's you're there. Why because people are gonna send in parts of themselves We've already got pretty much a person Cubes to put on it Put all over it. We got teeth. Have we got teeth? We got hair pubic hair for its head hair as well come so we could cut a hole and stick it in there. Holy shit We have the perfect. We're gonna build a new we have fingernails. Yeah, can we? No, I reckon we're doing it. We have to anyway The t box is gonna be coming and the mannequin goes where the fully actual sign is it goes where that whole bookshelf is so we Can take that out the mannequin goes there if people start smelling us parts of themselves. We will Put it on the mannequin. Okay, where is the mannequin? It's in the garage and like what the fuck was its name? We have to dress it in something so some interesting clothes. Anyway. Yeah, I got either Hamish I was like, um Yeah, it's gone Alberto. It's fucking gone someone said Abraham Lincoln Abraham's an invisible man. Oh, yeah, true All right, prank call time everybody. All right, here we fucking go I'm gonna call a hotel as Arnold fine. We like calling hotels now cuz they're always open Crazy, right? I'm gonna call a hotel as Arnold fine and say that I have a pig that I need to sleep with me in the room Because it's my service pig. Do you understand? It's my service pig. I need it with me. I suffer from anxiety I Don't fine. I don't find I have a pick sorry maybe 50 kilo pick and say that the pig Is a dog. No. No. Yeah, and it is an actual dog. I could talk Sam team. Yeah The same thing same exact animal I'm excited Womp, yeah All right, here we go. Maybe even have Rhonda in the background abusing him They won't let you fucking stay with it. We could pre-record Rhonda and then just play her throughout. Oh Yes, let's do that Confusing the listeners those wandering at home. That's Matt Brown playing He's playing. All right, everybody. Here we go. Stay with it. Remember, they'll be able to hear you if you talk into Oh, hello, my name Arnold fine. I need to book a room for maybe two or three night over weekend What date are you looking at? Maybe Friday a Saturday and I not know about Sunday yet. I find out but definitely Friday Saturday No, I just a Google Hotel and you show up at the top there travel to Brisbane need place to stay So what's your phone number this is? Okay? telephone number 04 0 9 04 1 5 5 6 And what was your name my name Arnold fine Arnold AR and or D So you're looking for Friday Saturday night Friday Saturday night. Yes this week this week You understand that you write that down. This week Yeah, not next week this week for sick six may seven may understand Okay, okay. Okay. I just I just make a show So the room rate will be 159 for the night. Would that be okay? Okay? Do you have? cheaper room and what mit Mini bar and such thing does included or extra No, no, we don't have we got a mini bar from the reception. Okay, and that will be extra. Yeah, okay. Okay, so I come I get a mini bar from reception Okay, yeah You want me to book the room for you? Arnold fine. My name Arnold fine Arnold what Arnold fine my name Arnold fine My sir name F uh-huh II and and E Arnold fine. I Okay, I have a question you allow a Service animal in room or not? Do you have the Certificate with you? Yes, I have a service Certificate with me and Yes, I have if you have the service dog with you. It's a pig Yeah, yeah, if you have service dog the video. We need no notice here service a peak very similar to dog same size Surface peak is for mental health and He bent over for me a pick thing up and bring me my drink etc. Yeah, my service pick. I have certificate I have Oh, yeah, of course I email the service certificate. Yes Yeah, if you can do that, then I can get back to you with the Booking, you know, okay when I come on Friday, please have a ball of water for the peak And separate towel for the peak. I have shower with a pick. Okay, so make sure Understand Okay, okay, I have certificate what the big problem peak dog Same thing that the same animal Exactly the same animal I already say I happily do the detailer and a little the Discrimination against surface pick surface pick very common Where I from the peak most intelligent Animal even even more than a human even more than human sometimes on my peak. He fixed my car He sees a very intelligent creature a little bit of pool and to hear on dawn the trample through the pool and take it Through the heart does not matter. He'll pay a peak. He saw this pick. He's a sauce pick and he very helpful Now, I will try to look out for you. So thank you. Thank you Okay, let me find the pen here flicking around Okay, okay, I have pen okay what your email Cheeky, I have my pen. Okay, I sent through my paper at a paper from Country in Eastern Europe, so I show you the paper from there my country and Everything okay, but after I show you the papers. I still need a special Ball for pick to eat and Extra towel are very important. Are you write that down? My wife is sick. She cannot come beat me You understand my wife. She's sick at home and the service pick is kind of My portable wife. I take her with me. You understand Okay Okay I You back after you see Okay Friday Disrespect you talk about me like that. I have service talking over no worries, huh? Service pick a look down on sparsas Okay, okay, I understand I love I respect respect your strength Okay, okay, okay, okay Wow Man, I really want to email them just a picture I'll just fucking send them something like oh wow should we leave their email in the podcast and then just everyone can flood them with the service papers of a pig Pictures of pigs or dogs maybe maybe what about send the best pig to Fully actual Send the best service certificate of a pig to Matt to Matt Brown Just look at it Yeah, I the other one mine or the fully actual. Oh, yeah, Matt Brown one one one one four ones shit one one one one one chase it Sorry Yeah, anyway guys don't forget like subscribe comment if you had a giggle to give us five star on Spotify Check out our Instagram and tiktok to yeah Let's do all the things that we've said and I can't wait to get out of here and see you all again next week We are best. We are the Matt said it. I love my mom. Yeah, he does fuck. Yeah I love my dad. He got stabbed in the face. Oh, that's right. Oh, sorry. You also got attacked by chainsaw. Anyway We'll talk about that next week. See you guys