 Family Theatre presents Jack Bailey and Pat Crawley. From Hollywood, the Mutual Network in Cooperation with Family Theatre presents The Wise Guy starring Jack Bailey. And now to introduce the drama, here is your hostess, Pat Crawley. Larry Chatterton. Family Theatre's only purpose is to bring to everyone's attention a practice that must become an important part of our lives if we are to win peace for ourselves, peace for our families and peace for the world. Family Theatre urges you to pray. Pray together as a family. And now to our transcribed drama, The Wise Guy starring Jack Bailey. Look, kiddies, if you're stuck by a question, just take a wild guess at it and go on to the next one. Mr. Johnson. Yes, Pam, what is done is. I don't remember you telling us what Balboa discovered. Well, I'll give you a hint. Okay. It wasn't chlorophyll. That's it. Now just sign your papers, drop them off on my desk. And that's it. So we'll see you tomorrow, kids. Bye-bye. Yes, Miss Irwin. I just came by to tell you that Mr. Logan wants to see you before you go home. Thanks, Jesse. What is it? Another complaint about me? Oh, I don't believe so. I think he wants to talk about the new school. You know it's funny, Jesse. I'll never get used to being called down to the principal's office. Even as a teacher? Well, that's the trouble. I can't seem to realize that I'm still not a ten-year-old kid with coolage buttons all over my cap. Oh, well, that's why the children are so fond of you, Harry. You're like one of them. Well, according to the school board, I'm more like ten of them. Come now, Mr. Johnson. Don't start running yourself down. You will never get to be an assistant principal that way. Jess, do you really think I've got a chance for that job when we get over to the new place? Well, I know Mr. Logan submitted your name as a recommendation along with Mr. Spindler's. Oh, laughing boy, Spindler. There's a jolly chap to have around these kids. Well, you must admit, he takes advantage of every opportunity. Yeah, whether it's his or not. Well, I better go see what's on the fire. Thanks, Jess. All right. The principal, Mr. Johnson. Why, no, Spindler, I understood you were in Logan's office drilling for oil and I wanted to see you in your tin hat. Equipped to fit every occasion, eh, Johnson? Always the wise guy. Well, I'd do what I can. Do you think it's a good example for your pupils, always cracking jokes? I haven't had any kicks. From the pupils? Let me give you a little friendly advice, Johnson. When you clown around and cut up in front of the children, you detract not only from your own position, but from that of every other teacher in the school. And as one of those teachers, I want you to know that I don't approve of it. Well, I'll pass that on to the fifth graders tomorrow and we'll put it to a vote. Is that okay, Spindler? Joke. All you want to, Johnson. The time may come when you'll be laughing out of the other side of your mouth. My mouth doesn't have sides, it's round. Like that. Don't say I didn't warn you, Johnson. Boy, how gloomy can you get, him and his good example. Brother, I've seen happier faces on sundials. Come in, come in. It's me, Mr. Logan. Oh, Harry, come on in. Just, uh, Miss Irwin said that she wanted to see me. That's right, sit down, Harry. Well, I see you've got everything packed to move over to the new school building. Just about. It'll be a relief to get out of this fire trap. We wouldn't have stayed here this long if construction on the other building hadn't been delayed. Yeah, I know. Janey and I were just talking last night about how cold it got here last winter when the boilers went out. How is Jane, Harry? All right. Really? Well, kind of lonesome to tell you the truth. We thought everything for the adoption was all set and then at the last minute it sort of fell through. I heard about that. I'm sorry. We're still on the waiting list, though. You watch. We'll wind up with a brood of kids bigger than the fifth grade. Uh, Harry, about your application for assistant principal over at the new place. You don't mean it's come through? Well, no, no it hasn't. I suppose you know that Spindler applied for the job, too. Yeah. Has he got an inside track? As far as the board's concerned, yes. They figure I'm not dignified enough, huh? Well, you could use a little more restraint in the classroom, Harry. I don't think I've ever stepped out of this office without hearing that bunch of yours up on the second floor laughing at something or other you just said. Well, what's wrong with that? I want my gang to like school. Certainly, Harry, so does any good teacher. But, well, the board feels you haven't displayed the qualities of leadership, the willingness to assume responsibility that they expect in an assistant principal. I guess if they won't buy it, they just won't buy it. Oh, no, it isn't certain. It's not official yet. You get it. I'm dead, but not buried. I'd be wrong if I said it looked encouraging for you, Harry. Janey and I were really counting on this, too. I'm sorry I couldn't swing it for you. So am I, Mr. Logan. I'm sorry for a couple of reasons. Harry? Yeah? You hardly touched your dinner. Mm-hmm. Harry, what's wrong? What's bothering you? Nothing. Nothing. I was just thinking about the meatloaf here. The more meatloaf, lady? Harry, what's the matter? Is it because we didn't get the baby? Oh, a little. Well, we'll get when we're still on the list. Look who's cheering up hootin'. Yeah, we're on the list. Lists we got. I just wish we could get off the list and into the parade. Oh, did something happen at school today? Well, I'm gonna have to tell you sooner or later. I blew it for the assistant principal's job. Oh, Harry. It's not official, of course. They still haven't notified the next to kin. Well, what happened? Same old thing. I'm a comic character and it shouldn't happen to an assistant principal. Who gets it? Spindler? Yeah, he's real deep. He's serious, but dignity. Oh, come on now. You admitted yourself he was a good teacher. All right, he's a good teacher. So how come I'm a bad teacher just because my kids don't think I'm Harry the Hangman? Well, I... I don't know, honey. You know what my trouble is? I like kids too much. We've been scratching along for almost eight years just because I get a big wallet. How to watch them get smart and stay pleasant at the same time. Isn't that what a teacher's supposed to do? Well, you'll never prove it by the school board in this town. Did I tell you, Janie, about that real estate guy Edelston that he called me again last week? About the job? Yeah, and he has got himself a salesman, a new salesman, as of next month. Oh, Harry, you know you don't want to give up teaching. Okay, so I don't want to, but what kind of a life do you call this? We're getting along. Be yourself. Honey, how much do we put in the bank every month? You be yourself, Harry. It isn't the money. It's your pride, isn't it? Eight years. I've been knocking myself out in that steam-heated packing box, and why? Because you like it. Well, I've stopped liking it. Happy Harry Johnson. Good for a laugh, but not for a raise. Are you really serious about taking a real estate job, Harry? You bet I am. Okay, ah, so I'll miss the kids. One of it. We'll get kids of our own and get a whole house full of them. Why don't you think it over a little more? I thought it over, honey. I'm through kidding myself. School's out for the summer and another week. They'll have plenty of time to get someone else. Well, if you're sure, this is what you want to do. Sure, I'm sure. And you love real estate business. I'll bring home a box of samples every night. We can raise geraniums. Mr. Johnson. Yeah, my, hello. Yeah, you're at school a little early this morning, aren't you? This felt like looking around, mate. It must have looked at down here in the basement, lest you're interested in antique boiler systems. What happened? Conk out again? Yeah. I'll tell you one thing, Mr. Johnson. The schoolboy ain't getting us out of this building a minute too soon. This old tax just about on its last legs. Well, I thought they fixed it up last winter. We patched it up the best we could, but when the boiler gets this old, it's pretty hard to keep up with what's wrong with it. If it wasn't we needed hot water for cleaning, I'd never touch the blame thing. Well, anyhow, you won't have to wrestle it much longer, Mike. Yeah, thank heavens for small favors. Sure, there ain't anything you want down here? No, I've just taken the last look around. Well, don't tell me you're gonna miss this place. Well, if I did, I guess I wouldn't be missing much, huh, Mike? I here tell you in line for the assistant principal's job over at the new place, that right? That wrong. Turns out I'm a little short in the leadership and responsibility department. Well, I don't know about that, but you taught my granddaughter to spell, and that's more than a spindler could do last year. Oh, is your granddaughter in my class? Fifth grade. Pamela Nixon, my daughter's girl. Oh, sure. Hey, she's a smart little kid. Hey, you said a senior a year ago she couldn't spell cat unless someone gave her the first two letters. No kidding. And shy, you never seen a kid so shy. Now you can't shut her up but giggling and telling us all them funny jokes of yours. Well, maybe I shouldn't kid around so much with them. They'll all get out of school thinking life is just one big belly laugh. This will be a better place if it was. Maybe. Well, thanks for the pleasant minority opinion, Mike. I'll see you later. I gotta get on upstairs. Good luck, Mr. Johnson. I'm sorry to interrupt classes right in the middle of the morning to call you down here, folks, but a member of the board is on his way over to tell the children about the new school. Say, I'm sorry to be late for the meeting, Mr. Logan. Oh, that's all right, Harry. You have your class seated down in the assembly hall. The assembly hall? No. I thought you just wanted the teachers to come down now and... I distinctly told you, Johnson, that Mr. Logan wanted all the classes brought down to the assembly hall. You said we were going to have this meeting first and then bring the kids down, Spencer. I said no such thing. If you paid more attention to business instead of... I do pay attention to business. It would be... Harry, you'd better go and get your class. It's almost eleven now and all the other children are in assembly. All right, Mr. Logan, you bet. I'll bring him in right now. What's the matter, Mike? It's the boiler in the basement. I was trying to shut it off about ten minutes ago and the valve handle snapped. It's building up pressure something off and I can't turn it off. You mean it might blow up? Any minute. I try to shut it off, but it won't budge. Go tell Mr. Logan what happened. Then have him take the kids out of the assembly hall into the yard and tell him to shake it up. But why are you going? Well, my own gang's still up on the second floor. But you ain't going to bring them down this way. No, there's a fire escape upstairs at the other end of the hall. We'll use that. Now, Mike, you get going. Golden downstairs, going outside. Jess, I thought you were down in the assembly hall. Well, I came back up from a first. What's all the excitement? Well, I'll tell you on the way down. All right, gang, now double file. You girls go first down the hall toward the fire escape. Fire escape? Come on, Maria. Harry, what's going on? It's the boiler. If we don't get out of here, it's... Oh! It's like you're going to collapse. All worry about. What happened, Mr. Johnson? Well, honey, I understand Mr. Logan told the eighth graders they could tear down the schoolhouse for a graduation present and it looks like they jumped the gun. Move and gang, keep moving gang. Jess. Yes? You lead them down the hall to the fire escape. I'll keep herding them along after you. All right, all right. This way, children, after them along, follow me. That's the way, gang. Don't worry about your coat. Summer's coming. Yes, sir. Now, quiet, gang. Quiet. Quiet. That's it. Just follow Miss Irwin. Come on, Mr. Johnson. Yes? I'd make it hot for you during exam week. Come on now. Mr. Johnson's going to open the door right away. It looks like all it needs is a good yank. Yeah, that's it. Oh, it's no good. It feels like it sprung or something. Maybe that explosion jammed it. I think so. Gang. Okay, gang. Gang, calm down. Now, here's what we're going to do. Stay in line and just turn around and walk into the sixth grade classroom right over there. That's right. The doors unlock, so go right on in. Go in, go in, and keep in line. Harry, why are you sending them back into a classroom? There's no way downstairs from there. We've got to get them out of this corridor, Jess. Once the draft gets behind that fire on the stairs, it'll shoot through here like watered on a funnel. Well, I guess you're right. All the way. Come on, Jess. You too. Now, let's put this door between us and those flames. Mr. Johnson. Oh, we're going to get out. Pam, I never saw anything like you, kids. You're always trying to get out of school. Don't you worry, honey. We're going to get you out. Harry, look, look. Coming into the schoolyard. The fire engine. Well, I had the princess be along pretty soon. Hand me that book, then, right there on the desk. Yeah, okay. Stand back a little bit. See us, Harry. They see us. Yeah. See, what's that gizmo they're bringing over under the window? It looks like one of those nets that you jump into. I wonder why they didn't raise a lad instead. I got a feeling they're afraid the walls won't last that long. Oh, my God. Oh, Harry. Oh, look. Look, there's smoke coming up through the floor. I know. I can feel the floor getting hotter. Hang on to yourself, Jess. We've got to get these kids out of here. They appear in front of the window. Free parachute jump. None stopped in the schoolyard. Come on, Pamela. You first, honey. Come on. I'm afraid, Mr. Johnson. Afraid? What would Superman think if he heard you talking like that? Hang on now. Listen, kids. Kids. The one who lands closest to the center of that white circle the fireman are holding gets to bring me a candy bar every day next week. That's no present for us, Mr. Johnson. Sure it is, Pam. I don't eat candy. Okay, honey. Here you go. Now, come on. Here we go. 26 to go. Nelly, come on. How many left up there now, Mr. Logan? I might count. They're all out, but Harry and Miss Irwin. Yeah. And then she comes crawling out on the windowsill. Oh, she's ready to jump. There she goes. Bought her, Mike. She's safe. All right, Harry. Come on, jump. Have you talked to any of the kids that were up in that room, Mr. Logan? Why, why? Yes, a few of them, why? I just wondered if you noticed when they climbed out of that net, how many of them were laughing. I know I had them. Mike, look. He's crawling out onto the windowsill. Mr. Logan. Mr. Logan. Come on. It's time to go. Mrs. Johnson. Yes, nurse? The doctor says you can see him now, but just for a few minutes. Fish face. Oh, Harry, honey. Too bad you missed my hideout, honey. Brought down the house. Oh, you crazy guy. You know, the doctor says it'll take me a couple of months to knit up. I seem to have broken everything, including the all-city record for the hot foot. Oh, Harry. Say, Janie, I guess that real estate character Edelston's going to have to stumble along without me for a while. Don't you know what's happened? I don't know enough to tell you. I don't want it to happen again. First I got my foot caught climbing out that net. No, no, no. Not about your accident. I mean, with a scoreboard. Don't tell me the building fell on them, too. Hey, things are looking up here. Of course not. Wait a minute. There's someone out in the hall who wants to see you. Wait a minute. Come in. How are you feeling, Harry? Mr. Logan. Gee, it's real nice of you to come down here. And see me. Well, to tell the truth, this is kind of an official visit, Harry. Oh, now what have I done? Well, the school board directed me to inform you that... Don't tell me I'm going to be docked for breaking that window. Will you let Mr. Logan finish, Harry? Yes. They, the school board, wanted me to find out if you'd consider accepting the post of assistant principal in the new school next September. Assistant principal? Me? They, they realized you've received a very lucrative offer from the Edelston Realty Company, but... Oh, where did they get it? I suppose Spindler got snooping around. No, no, no, no, no. Harry, you see, Mr. Edelston happens to be one of the members of the school board. Oh, I didn't know that. Yes, yes. And he got up at the meeting this morning and said he'd be sorry to lose a salesman with your potential, but that he felt it was more important for the community to have educators whose sense of dedication to their job and their pupils was as strong as yours. No kidding. He really said that? Yes. And he told the board that he didn't know what they meant by leadership, but that he couldn't think of a more perfect example of it than the way you led your class out of that burning building. My gosh. And then he sat down and they voted you the new assistant principal. Well, I'll be the assistant principal. Oh, you take it. You just concentrate on getting well, Harry. You're going to be pretty busy come September. Sure, that's wonderful. Who's going to take over the fifth grade if I'm assistant? Well, as a matter of fact, we were thinking of giving it to Mr. Spindler. Oh, Spindler, why that? No, Harry. Well, what were you going to say, Harry? I was going to say, Mr. Logan, that that might be a very good idea. After all, by the time kids, I mean children, get to the fifth grade. They need someone who will impress upon them the fact that getting an education is, well, nothing to joke about. You know, family theater brings you this program each week for the one purpose of encouraging and promoting prayer throughout the world. We stress family prayer particularly, for the family is the firm stone upon which a nation is built. In these days when the nations of the world are in a topsy-turvy state, prayer is more important than ever before. I'd like to read you a poem that appeared recently in one of our daily newspapers. We all have a secret weapon which can cure our deepest woes. It can tear down walls of hatred and confound our godless foes. It doesn't cost a billion dollars yet can guarantee world peace, not the A-bomb or the H-bomb, yet it makes the war drum cease. It's not guarded from the millions. Each of us can do our share. It grows stronger as you use it, for it's better known as prayer. Yes, prayer is the secret weapon which we all possess. If we but use it, we can bring peace to the world, peace to the nation and peace to our homes, for the family that prays together stays together. More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of. This series of Family Theatre broadcast is made possible by the thousands of you who feel the need for this type of program, by the mutual network which has responded to this need and by the hundreds of stars of stage, screen and radio who give so unselfishly of their time and talent to appear on our Family Theatre stage. To them and to you, our humble thanks. This is Larry Chatterton expressing the wish of Family Theatre. Join us, won't you? Family Theatre is broadcast throughout the world and originates in the Hollywood studios of the world's largest network. This is the Mutual Broadcasting System.