 Before I start this video I just want to make some disclaimers. Multiple trigger warnings. I'm going to be talking about a lot of different things such as sexual assault, pedophilia, just anything along those lines so if you are uncomfortable by that don't worry I'll see you next week. Sorry for a lot of serious videos lately. And the timing of this video is probably not the best because there is a lot of serious things going around the world and it seems as though every month it gets worse. I don't want you guys to think I'm trying to draw attention away from them. I'm making this video for my sake and also hopefully it can help someone out because this is not talked about enough in school. I just hope it's a teachable moment. I'm not trying to gain clout from this. I don't think there is a single person in the world who wants to be known for being sexually assaulted. From what I've seen the only thing that comes from this is criticism and people telling you what you should feel about your own experience when they haven't been in the same situation. So please keep your comment to yourself about that. Don't bother fighting with those people in the comments. I don't want this to turn into an argument. This isn't a pity party. I'm fine. Please understand that this happened a long time ago. I'm not going through anything right now. I just rather talk about this because I've yet to. All right. So yes, I was sexually assaulted in third grade. For those of you outside the United States, that is between the ages of eight and nine. So some context for you. I used to live in South Carolina and between first grade and third grade, I had an extra neighbor who was basically my best friend back in my day. I don't know if people do it now, but I used to play out on the lawns. Your kid played in the front yard and that's how I ended up becoming friends with my next door neighbor. We would hang out. He would teach me how to play football, how to fish, how to find shark teeth, how to skateboard. Just simple kid stuff, I guess. Basically he taught me a lot of things that were fun to do as a kid. Our parents were friends with each other. I often went to his house to play video games and I was friends with him for at least three years before this. Mind you, he was five years older than me at least. When I was in third grade, he was in eighth grade. So that's a five or six year gap. So let that sink in for a second that this story is about an eight year old and a 13 slash 14 year old. So one day he invited me to his house and it was just a regular day. We were just playing games. His parents weren't home and he eventually invited me upstairs. It was just like a separate living room with the TV and some games to play. He pulled up YouTube back when it looked like this and showed me a video clip that was basically a satirical cartoon about the birds and the bees. If you don't know what that means, basically I learned about sexual and of course and what puberty is through cartoon. But it easily could have been on Adult Swim because I saw the female reproductive area and the male reproductive area. And I saw a visual of what sex looks like. Now, I don't know about you, but in third grade, I had no idea what those were at that point. I still thought babies were made through a bird dropping by your window. So I had no idea what was going on. But because I was friends with him, I was like, this is fine. Everything's fine. One can say that I have been groomed by this person because it's safe to say I know this person. I have trust in them because we've done a lot of things for two years and he felt like a friend. But if you don't know what child grooming is, it is when someone particularly older builds trust with a younger individual in hopes of manipulating, exploiting or abusing them for sexual benefit. This can also happen online. After that video was done, he asked you want to play Truth or Dare. I had no reason to say no to me. Truth or Dare has always been fun. But basically you can say this was stripped Truth or Dare, which is a game you play where each time you do something, you take off a piece of clothing until you're eventually naked. It was basically only dares. He started off by saying, give me a kiss on the cheek. Then he would do the same to me. And then he would say, take off your shirt. Then he took off his shirt. If my body language sucks right now is because I am very uncomfortable talking about this. Eventually I took off my pants, so did he. And he started touching me in that certain area. Then he told me to touch him in that area. So you could say I've reached second base at eight years old. If you don't know what I mean by bases, it's a way of saying the stages of a relationship that you have reached. First base is kissing, second base is fondling, touching private areas. Third base is oral sex. And fourth base is sexual intercourse. I reached third base already by the time that Truth or Dare ended. He first performed oral sex on me. And then he told me to do the same thing to him. I don't know about you, but as an eight year old child, I have no idea what that is. I don't think I was thinking too hard because there's not much to think about when you're eight years old. So in my head, I thought this is just what friends do. He's my friend. This is a normal thing. There was no indication for me to know that this was wrong at the time because no one had taught me otherwise. Eventually we were both fully naked and he got on top of me and performed the motions of sex without inserting anything. I think the term is dry humping where you just perform the motions without actually doing anything. That lasted for a couple of minutes until his sister walked in. His sister is around the same age as him. She screamed, ran away. And because the parents weren't home, he just told me to put on my clothes and go back to my house. Next day, nothing happened. No one came to my door. I didn't tell my parents because I have no idea how to verbally describe what happened to me. And at that point, I did not feel any trauma because I just didn't know what happened. When this stuff happens to you and no one teaches you otherwise and it's just with someone you trust, you just assume it's a normal thing. So I didn't know what to think. And I'm assuming the sister didn't say anything to the parents because she also had no idea what to think. I don't know what I would do if I was in that same situation. So I don't put any blame on her for not telling her parents. But this happened again two months later in my house. Same thing, it was true they're there, except it was only dares and I ended up naked with him. And it escalated to the same level that it did the first time. After that, he was already going into high school. So I didn't really hang out with him anymore. So I didn't really talk to him. We just part of ways because at that point I would stay at home and play games online instead. And I'm assuming he found better friends to hang out with because once you reach high school, I don't think he would hang out with someone five years younger than you all the time. And I didn't tell anyone about this for five, six years. Until ninth grade I told someone for the first time. It was my best friend and she was completely worried for me because I told her exactly what happened. I didn't think about this for five years until eighth grade where we had sex education, which by then I learned what sex actually was. But I didn't know anything about what a male and a male would do. They don't really teach anything besides heterosexual sex. So I still had no idea what to think about my experience. And still in eighth grade, I didn't know anything about what sexual assault means or what a child predator is or pedophilia. I didn't think anything about that until ninth grade where I just told my best friend what happened to me. She was very worried for me obviously and I just was confused on why it was such a problem. I still thought it was just a thing that happened that I shouldn't think too hard about. I kept this to myself because it didn't feel like it was an important thing to talk about. And my friend said that this is actually sexual assault. You should research this Frederick so you know what happened to you. And do you need help was her main question. My answer was no because I still didn't feel instantly traumatized by thinking about it. I just, I was the most indifferent person you could say. Then I moved to New Jersey. So I never saw this person again. I haven't told my parents about this still. They do watch my videos though. And the reason why is because when I moved I didn't see a point in telling them because we're not gonna see this person again. I just thought it would cause more trouble in our house because I wasn't on good terms with my parents because I recently came out to them. You know that story, we're fine now. And before anyone says that experience is why you're gay Frederick. I really don't need that conversation because that is just completely false. So still didn't tell anyone when I moved because I had no friends basically. And when I found some people I'm assuming they all thought I was just joking or lying about it because it is such a weird story that is so wrong. None of it sounds true because when I say it it's the most casual thing that comes out of my mouth because I still don't know how to feel about it. They all still said like, are you okay? Like, was this traumatic for you? My answer was always I think I'm okay. I don't see what was traumatic about it because I didn't feel any trauma at the time. And there wasn't really anything for me to do about it anyways because I wouldn't see this person ever again. You can't go to the police about this. There is no evidence. There was no evidence even when I was eight years old. And I also didn't know how to report as a child. So I didn't know what to do. And between my four years of high school I still thought about this to myself. Was this traumatic? Was it sexual assault? And the more stories I read about sexual assault survivors and people who have dealt with pedophiles the more I felt like my experience didn't count because he was a minor too. I still thought that to be a pedophile you had to be an adult pursuing a child not just some teenager pursuing a child. Which is so not true. Please understand that by definition pedophilia is just having an attraction to a child. Your age does not matter. So you do not have to be an adult to be one. Last year I told my sister about it and she obviously had a reaction because she knew this person because he would come to our house. She asked me the same questions everyone else would ask me the moment I told them and a few months ago I still had no idea what to think about this. And the idea came into my head because I saw some other videos about sexual assault and I just got reminded of it. So I called a hotline in South Carolina and said, hi this happened 10 years ago what do you think about it? And the person said, well it doesn't matter what I think because you just told me exactly what happened and it's clear that it's a form of sexual assault. There is no charges that can be filed obviously that wasn't my intention. I just wanted to know whether or not I can count this as sexual assault and whether or not I could even call this person a pedophile and yes, they're a pedophile. What happened to me was sexual assault because there's no excuse for a 13 slash 14 year old to do that to an eight year old child. Just picture what you knew at 13 years old and whether or not you would do that to someone and someone is going to say but age doesn't matter Frederick. And to you, if an eight year old child comes up to you and tells you a similar experience to mine and you just say, but age doesn't matter I have no words for you. Just please leave and get an education because it does fucking matter in this case. Not only is it illegal because an eight year old literally cannot consent to this. It's just plain wrong. And I don't care if you call me a liar just because I'm not giving you receipts on a platter. I just don't want to see anyone trying to defend this 13 year old. And this isn't the only experience. I'd rather just talk about all the other ones too that have happened after this. In my third year of high school I dated someone for around a month and around two weeks into this relationship. I don't know if you can call it that. They insisted on having sex with me. Now, until that point I did not really want to do that with anyone because I was still uncomfortable by the idea of it because of my past experience. I said no multiple times until he eventually peer pressured me and I caved and it lasted for a minute. I instantly stopped it and then I broke with him the next day. I'm not revealing any names. I don't want this to turn into a mob chasing someone. I rather just inform you guys about this and hopefully these people have learned. Maybe I'm too optimistic. And my last experience was actually my first semester of college. The same thing happened. I ended up at this person's house and they insisted. I said no until he eventually came upon me because he was stronger than me and I couldn't escape because I was at his house and it was night. And it was only me and him in his apartment and I couldn't run away. So that happened. Please be careful when you open yourself up to other people. Don't be dumb like me and go to someone's house alone. Make sure you have friends and codes to tell each other in case something bad happened. So they know instantly to call for help. And if you're younger and you feel like something has happened to you online or you feel like someone is trying to get you to reveal personal information, whatever situation you're in, just please don't send pictures of yourself. There are a lot of shitty people on the internet who try to pretend to be other people in hopes of getting information out from you. And this happened on our Discord server. So yes, I do feel a type of way about it because I'm partially responsible for letting this person enter my server and almost groom someone again. So if that person's watching, fuck you. And I'm sorry to anyone who has felt uncomfortable on my community just because another person decided to pretend to be someone else. That's all I have. Sorry I made like three dark videos about real life shit that's uncomfortable to watch. I know that's not my main goal on this channel. We'll go back to our regular program next week but just I hope you guys know more about what these things are. You are not alone. If this has happened to you, do not feel ashamed at all. It is not your fault. To anyone who didn't know what these things are, you know now so that you can maybe prevent it from happening to you. I just know that if this wasn't as taboo as it is in school and more people who are younger knew about it because those people are specifically targeted more often, this wouldn't be as prevalent as it still is in this world because people are fucked up. So see you guys next week. Bye.