 My name is Sanbak Nin and I am the author of Malignan self-lover, Narcissism Revisit. Many victims of narcissists are firmly convinced that they have been chosen by their abusers because of their capacity to empathize, their innate sensitivity, their compassion, and their ability to love and care. Indeed, these qualities tend to attract exploitative psychopathic predators who leverage these human emotions to their advantage. Classical narcissists, however, are actually repelled by such displays of contemptible, mushy friendlies. They regard natural-born empaths as deplorable, nauseating weaklings who deserve all the abuse and ill-fortune that life and the narcissists meet out to them. Narcissists, therefore, are highly unlikely to be drawn to such displays of tenderness, understanding, and sympathy. They are bound to consider them fake, manipulative ploys, whose sole purpose is either to extract something of value from the gullible narcissist by harping on his emotional needs, or to hurt and torment the narcissist once having secured his attachment in reciprocal, so-called love. Narcissists attribute to empathic sensitive persons their own faults, traits, and motives. And this is a primitive psychological defense mechanism known as projection. So what is the profile of the typical victim of narcissistic abuse? The short and the long of it is, there is none. Victims come in all shapes, sizes, professions, genders, and ages. They vary in educational and professional attainment, levels of self-esteem and self-confidence, family background, personal history, socio-economic strata, political affiliations, and any other parameter you can think of. Narcissists are not choosing, and they have no predilections when it comes to sources of narcissistic supply. They check up with anyone who shows them adulation and showers them with attention. So, as a victim, you ought to get rid of this self-defeating refrain. I attract abusers like a magnet. I am a narcissist magnet, or in-magnet. Review your life in minute detail. Over the years, and in a variety of settings, your family, your workplace, church, voluntary organizations, many people of both sexes must have found your company desirable, and your personality agreeable. Were they all narcissists? Surely not. Were all those who found you sexually attractive and sought your friendship and companionship monstrous abusers? Again, no. Were you victimized in all your relationships, whether romantic and intimate or not? There is no way you can answer any of these questions in your family. If you chose your partner's bedding, or if you did not extricate yourself post-paste once you have been mistreated, it must have been your doing. Magnets are passive. They have no judgment and cannot exert control over their destiny. They are a bed seamer. Human beings are not inert. They are not helpless, mindless substances like magnets. Human beings are aware of what they are doing. They can distinguish right from wrong. They can and do act upon information. They exercise judgment. Bed relationships, however harrowing, constitute opportunities to learn lessons. And if you fail to do that, you have no one to blame but yourself.