 Of course, thank you so much for being part of this morning conversation. This is Power Talk. Welcome. Very good morning to you. Hope that you're well. My name is Ram Magukko. It is a pleasure being with you on this fine Thursday morning. Remember, repeat of this show as again tonight and every Thursday at 10 p.m. Catch us live because we're streaming through our website. That's at www.kabc.co.ke4 slash y254. That is www.kabc.co.ke4 slash y254. We are coming to your live from the broadcasting house here in Nairobi, Kenya. And of course, the hashtag as always is Power Talk Show at Ram Magukko, which is my handle, tag me. And the official station handle is at y254. Now today is all about matters concerning best friends. People call BFFs. Do best friends cause problems in relationships? Today we want to talk about that particular conversation. When best friends become a problem in your relationship, can best friends cause ruin your relationship? Have you seen people who have dated and ended up, you know, breaking up only to get with each other's best friends? Such scenarios are there. Today let's talk about this particular issue here because it affects mostly the youth. I don't know if the married also go through such things. If you're only married and you're tuning in and you're watching, tell us if at all it also affects you as a whole in your marriage. Does your partner's best friend affect your marriage? Is it possible? Today we are with the Queen Masi. She is the vice chairperson at Furraha Foundation Alumni Association. Karibusana Queen? You're well. Karibusana. You have a best friend? Of course. A male. Now we shall find out about that. And of course according to our posters, Anthony Njanga, who is a concerned psychologist, was supposed to join us. Of course we are expecting him to join us in a bit, but the show must go on. Aki Wasili, we shall be able to hear his voice as we continue with this morning conversation. But engage with us. The hashtag is Power Talk Show. Head over to our Facebook page and drop in your comments on our page. You will see our poster that is there on our page. Like the page, follow the page and drop in your comment on the comment section below and I shall sample your feedback a bit later on during this morning conversation. Now Power Talk starts now. Keep engaging with us. Start tweeting and start talking towards Queen. Have you ever been in a relationship where your best friend became an issue in your relationship? Technically, I cannot say yes because I have never been in a relationship where I get to fully involve my best friend because my perspective in terms of having a best friend is you are there to listen, you are there to understand. We can talk, we can have normal conversations. But now when I cross the bridge and start dating, it means there is a certain boundary. There is a certain boundary that I cannot allow you to overstep. Because my question is why would I be having a boyfriend and I am not able to share everything with his boyfriend? I would like to get this from a woman's perspective. And I know ladies are the ones who have issues of BFFs. Yes. Yes. You are your best female friend. Let's talk about ladies alone first. You are dating, you have a boyfriend and your boyfriend and your BFF get close. Will you have a problem with that? Yes, I will have a very big problem with that. Because to begin with, before you met my best friend, it is me that you met. Let us put in that perspective. But you are calling your best friend Babe and at the same time you are calling your boyfriend Babe. So what is your priority? Priority is to my boyfriend. However, as ladies, we tend to have a certain perspective of she has to know everything. She has to... I have to tell her everything about my relationship. Which is? Which is at times... What do you mean? Which is okay at times, but not all the times. There are things that are in a relationship that your best friend should not be aware of. Mostly if these things are not bringing harm to you. If their plans of you guys want to grow to another level and you have future plans. But now, in another perspective, female friends are quite important. Best friends are quite important because at the end of the day we will be talking. If I am going through something, if I am going through assault, if I am experiencing domestic violence. I will tell my friend. But now, my best friend should not be a problem. In the way you have put it, for her to be so close to my man. Let me get it from you. Ladies, I will poke you to the dog. I will poke ladies today because you are the only lady today. But you are the only lady today. Let's start with the closeness. Your boyfriend wants to know who your best friends are. Would you allow that to happen? Yes, I will. Continue. Continue. I would allow. Because it's not like both of us are hiding things from each other. No my friends. Because at times I might not be available. I might not be around. You might not be able to reach me. But you have someone that you can ask. Now some ladies are not comfortable letting their boyfriends know who their female friends are. Because they feel, you know what, this is my best friend. Now that is insecurity problems. Not with a man, but with a lady. If I am so secure with this man, and I am so sure that this man cannot do anything. That I will not be proud of, even if when I am present. I will be having problems with that. So at the end of the day, it is to me, to my perspective. It is the insecurities that I have with myself. Probably because I have done that. Maybe I have. And if you find a person that has this issue, I cannot have my best friend so close to my boyfriend. Or I cannot expose my friends to my boyfriend. Because maybe I know I am also in a position whereby, if I go close to another person, to another... My friends, let's say boyfriend, I might be able to snatch him. Which you... He is the one maybe. I have used the word maybe. But it's a very wild world for women. If a woman has an issue with their best friend knowing who their boyfriend is, would you say that they need to work on their own self insecurities first? Yes. Work on your insecurities first. Then, who are these people that you introduce them to your boyfriend? Are they new or to not trust? The question is, they are your friends? Yes. You just don't introduce everyone... Why would they be your friends if you don't even trust them to be the friend of your boyfriend? That is why I am coming to that. In terms of why you are choosing these people in your life? Are they people that you can trust? Are they people that you can give an account of? At the end of the day, will you be comfortable with them being with your boyfriend? Or people that are close to you? Yes. So, at the end of the day, first work on your insecurities. Second, know the people that you introduce them to your close people, your boyfriend. Let's say your fiancé or such. But still, as much as you are having people, as much as you are introducing your best friends to your boyfriend, there has to be boundaries. Which sets you or your boyfriend? It is me that sets first. There is a level that you cannot go with my boyfriend. For example, we are dating and I have my best friend. I will not expect for my best friend to be calling you on a daily basis. What are you talking about? What? What? Where? How? No! What were you doing with him? I don't expect you to, because you are in town, or probably you are around where he works. Maybe if I have a place to work, you just want to pop into his office to do what? So, who sets these restrictions? You or your boyfriend? Okay, for me it will be me. Let me say I might be a protective kind of a person, and that is where I might set such things. But once in a while, you can pop up to each other and say hi, hi, that's all. Because at the end of the day, you met my boyfriend through me. I am trying to protect my relationship. And if you want to pop at my boyfriend's office, or you want to be calling him, will you be comfortable with me doing the same? All right, but I have realized that this particular problem mostly affects ladies. This issue of best friends. Do you agree? Yes. Tell me, so I have an issue with it, and not the men. Okay. Do you think that's true? That's a corner, but both of us will have issues. Who has more issues? Who is the victim in this case? The person who is the offender. The person who always ruins relationships between the females and the male. Which is the female. That I totally agree. And guilty of all charges. Because at the end of the day, we tend, as ladies, we tend to have that, as much as not all ladies, some ladies, we tend to have that aspect of what will people say. Okay? What will people, what a change, and who do we go to? It is to our friends. If you want to date Ram, I will, for example, I will, Ram would come and talk and air his views out, okay? And at the end of the day, I'll have to go talk to my friend. By the way, could you tell me 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6? Udaku. Udaku. I did not want to use that word. Udaku. I did it. However, I would like to get an opinion as to what my friend has to say about this guy. As much as at the end of the day, I know the decision fully lies on me. But I would still want to get that opinion from that one friend that I have. And in most cases you find, maybe because maybe your friend does not have, is not more intellectual or does not just take things the way they are and think about them. You find people losing friendships, losing marriages, sorry to say. But at the end of the day, what my friend is telling me might not be of positivity that I'm going to use to mend my relationship or even marriage. So yes, Udaku means usually better. I will come to you and talk to the ladies. But as I said earlier, Anthony in the jungle is with us. Karupsan Anthony. You're well. Good to see you to my brother. Thank you. You always look dapper. Looking sharp. Anthony in the jungle is a counseling psychologist to help us in this particular conversation. Can best friends ruin your relationship? You've heard what she has said. Maybe I can give you time to give in your opinion, remarks, even as you address the things that you've heard her say. So when it comes to best friends ruining relationships, by the way, I know clearly, when it comes to, if it is the man or the lady who has an issue. I agree. It's the ladies who have the most issues. But there are people who don't know. In that circle, the ladies, there are people who don't know. But when it comes to that, there are people who don't know what to do, or who don't know what to do. Try something new. Who may be this best friend who has an idea of what you're going to use to mend your relationship? You understand? So best friends actually ruin relationships because most people are the ladies. They say the men have an issue, but the ladies are the ones who don't know. They say to their boyfriend, if you're the lady, hey, I've got this man, he looks dapper and all that. So it's time for me to introduce the best friend in which I want to say it is not advisable for you as a lady to introduce your man to your fellow best friends. As long as it is okay. Let me poke you there. I will poke the women, I'll poke the men. Why can't men stick to their own woman? You have your girlfriend's best friend. You have their number, and they text you and they say, hi, I wish you met me before my best friend. Why can't you reject such things? Why can't you report? Do men even report such things? They do not report such things. They receive photos from the best friend, who is a lady, your girlfriend's best friend, the photos, it could be of them, it could be suggestive, but you're quiet. You don't report such things. So men have a problem. When it comes to that, I think they don't know which direction they want in a relationship because you have to start the conversation from there. I understand your statement, but when it comes to such a man, maybe if you're watching in your such a man, you don't know the purpose of you being this girl. So why then should you be with your girlfriend and behind the scenes, the best friend, your girlfriend, your girlfriend, your best friend, your best friend, your girlfriend, and all that. If you're such a man, then you don't know what you want in a relationship. In the first place, why did you date this lady? If it is the best friend you want, then you're your girlfriend and they're your best friend. Choose. But your girlfriend doesn't know anything about you, and your best friend doesn't know anything about you. If you don't know what you want, before you get into this relationship with your girlfriend, before you're your best friend, you need to know what you want in a relationship. You need to know what you want, the qualities of a partner you want. Do women have this thing, the female version of a brocode? Yes. You have it? Yes. So you would not cross your best friend's fiancé or boyfriend. You would not go send them nudes, send them any texts? Those brocodes, they are there. Let me call them sister codes. They are there. Okay. However, a woman knows what she wants. Yes. The minute a man comes up to a woman and and then also it is us women that destroy what we have. Let me say that. Because at the end of the day, if I want to air out the negativities that this man has to my best friend and this best friend of mine has already seen that this is the type of man that I want. What is preventing her from sending nudes? Nothing. At the end of the day I will take that advantage of you're seeing a weakness in this man but you're not trying to find a way of mending this man. Let me come in and mend this man. This is where you find a lot of people say that oh, I don't know what happened but we were working and then when she came in things stopped working. Things did not stop working. You are the one who made things to stop working. Because at the end of the day it is you to protect your relationship. Yes. It is you to protect what you have initially. Yes. But still I have a question. As much as we are to blame for everything why would a man go and say broke your base and you're talking, you have a coffin, whatever and then you would want to discuss a lady why do you do that? Because at the end of the day it is for you to choose. Yes. Then it means if it is for a man to choose and men are representative of leaders we tend to look up to you guys so why would you go and discuss a woman in your brokered and then because men also have their own kamukunji they talk about women also. But you also get suggestions there. But as much as there is that kamukunji where men want to discuss I think as much as whatever you discuss about this lady what you need to specify or what you need to tell your brokered this is the lady I want this is the lady I have chosen to be with. Now Anthony let me get you there it is these groups that men are in that they discuss how many women they have slept with. It is in these same same groups that they discuss who you are and they even do something called distribution of labour full of labour let me use the right time Manisafi use your whiskey but I guess my circle of friends don't know such things they are such type of men they say Manisafi end the change like kamukunji is my best friend my goodness but let me tell you something there is a mindset that we should avoid what we suppose to tell the people is you need to know what you want first you need to know if it is a relationship you want with this lady or it is just having a one time thing and it's over you know if you are in that state where you have a brokered and you are like that is not the right thing to do actually whatever you do whatever you do whatever you do right now has a consequence you will see the consequence your generation to come and it's good that we also put this disclaimer a conversation like this I don't know if it happens among the married but I think among those who are dating and trying to get into marriage yes those who are in campus high school are to see mention high school high school and I like it but those who are in campus and also trying to get into marriage now let me get it from you a queen when a woman is interested in a man you said a woman always knows what she wants what would be your piece of advice to that lady who has a friend you are admiring your best friend's man because women do that you have been friends for a long time and then your best friend says today I want you to meet my man I love you how should such a woman do because not only are comfortable with it if you have because I know such things happen and if it has happened the first time and you have known it has happened keep off one because of the respect that you give you not even that man because of the respect that you give in your friend how long has your friendship been how long has it like 10 years maybe 5 maybe 1 but there is something that was putting the two of you together so you guys had your friendship keep off that man and if truly it is meant for the two of you to be together imagine there is only something that will come but do not push it keep by the way should you be happy when they break up and that is your best friend ok I will answer this in two ways one it is profit if they have broken up and you are seeing this man is genuine how have they broken up has this man found out just an absurd reason of breaking up with my friend because at the end of the day what is preventing you from doing the same to me let me come to you man to the man your word you are dating your woman and the day she introduces her best friend to you you say ok I like or I see what would you say to such a man that is a pervert mind straightforward you are being a pervert you do not know what you want so for women it is not perversion but for men it is perversion why the double standards both of them it is perversion you need to know what you want from a lady cannot waste a man's life and a man cannot waste a lady's life it goes two ways but you see I beg to differ at the end of the day there is something that might have attracted like this for example I get attracted to men with brains not just you are coming the way you are coming you might have money but I get attracted to brains I have gone out with my boyfriend and we are sitting in the talking but I know my man does not have that much of brains and in the midst of his friends I notice there is someone who has brains and brains that I can walk along with because at the end of the day even if you say women you should submit to men which brains am I submitting to so at the end of the day I feel if I get attracted to a certain thing I don't think it is perversion to me can I ask you a question Queen right now let's say for example maybe you are dating or not what is the first thing you look what is the first thing you think about when you want to get into a relationship the first thing I think about is it taking away from me or is it adding in my life do you look at the qualities or do you just go for anyone exactly when she is talking about the brains at the end of the day anyway I am listening to you guys talking when you are picking this guy when he is talking about the brains I am looking at this in this way before you start dating if it is a man before you start dating this lady before you start dating a man what do you look for the qualities I want you guys to even find out that we are trying to find out and engage with us from home let us know is it okay to be in love with your partner partner's best friend your partner's best friend yes is it okay to be in love with your partner's best friend well let's take a break we will be back in a bit after this I want us to find out we have talked about the women you like your partner's best friend you have talked about the men you like your partner's friend but still what about a scenario whereby best friends connect each other let's take a short break we will be back in a bit this is power talk and of course if you really want to be part of this particular conversation I would like to ask you to head over to our facebook page that is Y254 go to our page like the page and of course show support to this particular station for followers on facebook and scroll down you will see our photo there and of course drop in your comment on that particular picture drop in your comment that is at Y254 and of course I shall send you feedback a bit later on but let me just read one or two I am seeing Kim Lee, Disney and I say when they seem to be most sweeter than your bae you will be killed hmm so best friends become a problem in your relationship and when they seem to be sweeter than your bae you and I say this is quite hilarious thank you so much I am full of panic I am saying now go ninga thank you so much for tuning in let me just read one more comment on our page that is at Y254 hmm Zai people of names Zaiyo they can just trust a few a few manzee not all people are good some are sent just to destroy what was built some are there to drag you down and not to see you in any relationship I am calling you I am calling you alright Mr. Reza Nasema there is always a jealous friend period keep talking to us the hashtag is part of show at Ramaguko not Y254 channel let's continue with this particular conversation here in this particular show so ladies gentlemen we want to talk about that particular aspect of Liu liking your partner's best friend and then we move forward but first of all answer this one do you have any agreement towards the point that he said that if you end up liking your partner's friend then you are what was the term? perverted I still disagree because like the next question I am about to ask these things happen but the way you will handle that situation will determine your brains so is it okay to have feelings for your partner's best friend okay to me it's fine because it's normal Anthony but you said you mentioned perversion but how is it it is okay let me tell you something let me tell you what okay like like something like that it is a perverted mind why should you even be in that situation in the past it is okay to respect that friendship you guys have it is what matters by the way before we have been best friends then why should you let that best friend and respect the best friend respect the best friend okay yes it is okay to like your partner's best friend but what you should look at is respect your friendship with your best friend because the moment you start liking my partner which is okay that means women compromise my relationship alright let's move on still another example we have friends who are always interested in the gossip of other people's relationships and I try to talk to them I talk to them I talk to them I talk to them I share I talk to them I talk to them I talk to them they are those people who will want to find out if you are having a problem if you are having a fight how is it those nosy friends let's start from there because you are not okay I will just ask a simple question everyone and the viewers is it a must you tell your best friend everything that goes on in your relationship it is like and then because I have seen something because I start and dressing myself do I need the public to see me naked will I be comfortable with the public seeing me naked because they mean it to go open up and tell them as much as they are nosy as much as they are nosy as much as they are nosy as much as they are nosy as much as they are nosy as much as they are nosy do you need to tell everything last week we went to Garden City oh by the way I have to go next weekend we are going for a getaway do I have to tell you everything will I get killed because I have not told you everything how will you even know I have not told you everything if I don't open my mouth at the end of the day it is me to choose what I want to tell you if I decide to hide certain information from you I will do that and couples and celebrities who put their private life private because at the end of the day it is not for the public to see the public will not come and sleep with you in the same house exactly Anthony I agree what she says there is freedom in privacy because we have also men who want to know about their fellow men's relationship about the women they are doing so what do you want to tell me there is freedom in privacy there is freedom in privacy one thing you need to know if you are dating and you are all over I am very excited I need to tell my friend we went this and that so what anyway let's move on we have best friends who want to advise you on your relationships kind of such people ruin ruin things and I will come and say ah how are you doing one day you are at home you are a man and laugh at the lady do you want me to copy and say babe why don't you pay me I will say I am fine I will ask you to take a photo shoot I will say you didn't like photos and now I do because just because they are friends advise them that you should be taking photos of those couple golds that's an example Anthony still on it there are positive and negative advices and you should choose what to consume if you are consuming you choose what to consume not every single detail you are consuming then taking it to your boyfriend or to your girlfriend choose what to consume if you want to take photos or post and all that choose what to consume there are two ways I would agree with him it's not a must because at the end of the day the two of you know each other so try and find out where is this where is this photo shoot where is this photo shoot exactly it is not her mind and be so keen on listening on what she tells you about the relationships that are happening around her friends so you will understand that she is not herself those ideas are not hers so at the end of the day you choose to consume what is necessary even if maybe there are those friends that really give good advices but you are not supposed to take all advices what about those who advise you that you know what my man gives me 5000 shillings for just my nails your man is taking you to some place tell your man that you don't want such a thing initially you used to be understanding but now you are realizing by the way it's happening to them why can't it happen to me so at the end of the day are you the one in control of that relationship because if you are choosing to take such information in will there be more cash than you are being given is it you in control of that relationship at the end of the day can you see it someone else controlling your life at the end of the day to your life I also want to say also when it comes to best friend you need to know who should be your friend and who should not be your friend as much as you want to know but your best friend will be your friend you will be able to call your best friend know the qualities in a friend that you want and qualify to call your best friend now there are some best friends who advise you not to date people to date they will say ah there is no approach ah there are many approaches ok ah there is a channel bad news ladies do that men do that when best friends ruin relationships I love you you find yourself with a channel but finally once you end up dating the same person the same person they told you not to people who advise you not to date not to date as particular individuals ladies talk about that before you first of all accept not to date this person you should get reasons for what reasons what are the reasons for have you been with this person have you ever had sitting down with this person how well do you know this person for some men they say when you invite someone to the club when they asked you to dance and you say no I'm advising you as a brother when I tell you to date you should get dating you should date It happens actually, but you need to know what you want and then from what I started with, know what you want. And if you know what you want, nobody will influence your decision. You will follow what you want. What should you do? And I know there is somebody watching from home who is going through this. I know somebody has gone through this. You advise, both of you, advise on this. You find that your current partner is in a compromising situation with your best friend. What do you do, Queen? Okay, compromising situation. Me as Queen, I will work out. Because one, you came and talked to me, you wanted me to be your girlfriend. There is a reason why I did not go to your best friend first. But it has now reached a point where I'm getting the two of you in a compromising situation. It means priority is not me number one. So if I'm not your priority number one, why should I? Because I'm not in a compromising situation. You are not in a compromising situation. How? That is a red flag. You are not in a compromising situation. My friend, we know how to hide things. If I want to hide that I have feelings for this guy and I'm ditching you, you will never know. Imagine you will know, Queen. Let me tell you something. How do you know? I don't know. Who is the thief? I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. If anyone is not there, they will not be there If they are not there, they will not be there Just a simple mistake Kiddo go, that's a renf Now what do you do once you find them there? In this particular composition, your partner and your best friend Just leave Because they are not there Why should this person be there? If he is not there, he will say he is not there Priorities Quickly, another example I am on fire Do you have a scenario with me? Yes, I have a scenario Because we have a good friend We have best friends who we mentioned earlier Transfer Anthony has a girlfriend Broke up with a girlfriend Anthony gets a new one Now the best friend of Anthony gets Anthony's ex You get the scenario? Yes So my question See, to look at the breakup We had already broken up No strings attached, no size And he has his friend He has a friend And then his best friend comes to me I don't see the problem as to There is no problem To me there is no problem Because at the end of the day See, at the end of the day I will not be snatched from that relationship I will not be snatched from that relationship There is no problem If you are married You will not be snatched from that relationship So it is okay to date your best friend's ex For me it is fine You cannot You cannot But in society, when you judge You broke the broke code It is his sister code No And then Sister code is the person in society You are the person in society And maybe this person Would actually take very good care Compared to your ex No Will you say no because Society My friend If everybody was living under society's rule No one could be with anyone I will not be snatched from that relationship I will not be snatched from that relationship I will not be snatched from that relationship As long as we have broken up I will not be snatched from that relationship Do you know someone might even write that thing There is a time I actually believe That that is the right story And I spoke it in public I spoke it in public I spoke it in public I spoke it in public And I will say it boldly So let's head over to Facebook I love it too And then you guys can give in your comments there I spoke it in public The Kenya we are living in The Kenya we are living in My best friend and my woman should Not even talk Not even meet Let me add to him Yeah, yeah This comments are so many Agnes T. Nyari BFF are hell living on earth Out of experience Agnes Chubui Very correct Mr. Reza Nassima This is a jealous friend period Kennedy Jumba as Sirig Nassima, count me in Thank you so much Ken for tuning in Mr. Reza Nassima Zayo Nassima We are living in a fake world Forerite Nassima I think who you Who you mama are not to corrugate you And I don't want to be like experience Okay Okay And I don't want to be like that Jeremy Benkip Yes, I have an experience about This particular issue Nassima, can friends ruin your relationship Experience about it Tell us who you experience my brother Tell us what happened Who hurt you Kevin Nassima Yeah, they can Oh Oh Sorry Sorry Ron Fully Mr. Reza Nassima Junior Junior Nassima, respect your best friend And leave you Jeremy Ben And Mr. Nassima Matthew Witte Nassima, best friends are not All that bad We cannot all deny that many Relationships ended We cannot deny that Many relationships ended The ones that we were warned Of by our best friends Know your friend The things they can do And the ones they cannot So that When they help you see the red flags You do not see them as Devils Your comments on Those things Mr. Nassima Okay, I'll just agree With the last comment because If you don't know the people that are around you You will not know what is To come If you know them most importantly At the end of the day If you don't know them You will not know They will be respect And boundaries that are You will not know boundaries And return boundaries Now let me ask this question Before I ask, Anthony your feedback Your response Choose a friend wisely Just don't go for any Person and make them your best friend Now let me ask this In the menu who are wondering Whether they should go for it or not Is it okay to have a best friend Who is of the opposite sex If you want a best friend Then it is okay If I'm dating Whether you're dating or not You have a best friend Who is of the opposite sex We are best friends We are not lovers Even the point that you date You still maintain them as best friends Like when? I beg to differ Best friend who is a man I seriously beg to differ Because at the end of the day She's a lady She's a woman, I'm a woman And there is, even if people say That oh my partner is not jealous He's not jealous Okay There's attention that you're giving this lady And I am feeling That it's okay A certain percentage Let me say to a 30% of myself It's fine But to a 70% I will sit down and think Are you happy? Are you happy? Are you happy? And I'm remembering She's a woman as I am What is going to happen But now you can you also have A best friend of the opposite sex I would date I would I literally would not I would have close friends So that I avoid problems and issues In my relationship Because at the end of the day I will be questioned And I don't want to be questioned Because to a point of I am trying to choose I don't want to choose between the two of you I am not ready to choose Let me ask you this question now How often should you be meeting In those times that you guys will be meeting up For coffee To talk or Name them I also want to say this When you are dating You need to like your girlfriend How often do you meet your best friend When you are dating Like in a month or in a week Same in a month Like 20 sometimes That's a worry Will you avoid meeting your best friends Still as my opposite sex The same sex pair With my boys No girls allowed You have a lover And you have a partner Who will you prioritize first Who will prioritize first With your girlfriend But it depends How often do you guys go out Because at the end of the day As much as we are together You are not in a cage So how often Is it every weekend If it's every weekend now we will have a problem If it's every time Any free time You are already out with your friends Let me give an example of those who go to clubs And smoke and drink There are those who say You know what I have a partner And I invite her And she will be happy And I base it on her As a partner And she will say My friends have come They have come over How often should we Be seeing that happen For somebody who is dating Your privacy should matter Because if you want to invite your friends Over for drinks And you have forgotten that you are dating Your privacy should matter It is fine, you can have it once a month But it should not Be to an extent where it is too much That I am feeling the pressure Alright Some people say I am surprised that I am not seeing them Anthony, yes I agree You should be every time Respect the privacy that you guys have With your partner Let's go to church We have Those friends who you meet every Sunday You know Your partner Of course doesn't go to the same church with you Maybe you are going to church in Guinea But you have your friends who you meet with every Sunday So every Sunday with a partner Ladies like doing that Sometimes men like doing that They say after church we are going to KFC After church we are going to this place We are going to eat Have a good time You ask them How are you doing And you feel uncomfortable about it Because every week they meet During the week They talk, they chat on Sunday When they are out, would you be okay with that Should that be happening? If it is every Sunday I would not be comfortable with it Because one, at the end of the day We need to create time to be with each other At the end of the day This friend of mine should understand That I am in a relationship That is my priority If you are going out with your friends To KFC And you are comfortable with me being around your friends I can hop in, let me come, let me go And then Why should I be in a setup Whereby I am not able to call My boyfriend to come At the end of the day Even if I am meeting up with my friends after church By the way, this Sunday I am coming to your place after church Next Sunday we come Both of them Because we also need time for ourselves Priorities at the end of the day really do matter Okay, I understand Do you have time? As I said, I agree Priorities do matter I really respect these people In relationships And they tell their partners That I am your best friend You communicate You communicate in advance I am going out with my best friends To get along Are you comfortable to pop in? As simple as that We have best friends who always want your attention Put them off Tell them They should be able to handle Whatever you are going to tell them If you are not able to approach a best friend And tell them that by the way There is one, two, three going on in my life That is not a person that you are supposed to be with You should tell them be open By the way You have to understand That there is someone else who has come into my life And also needs attention And that attention I cannot divert it I know I can give them both of your attention But one has to be larger than they are Alright, now this one comes to you Anthony We have best friends who want to hook you up With other people They know you are dating They know you are with somebody By the way You check in this guy That is your best friend If you are dating someone You are just having fun I want to eat at the devil's scent Those are the devil's scent What do you do when you have a relationship And you are trying to divert my mind And my attention to someone else And it starts behaving in this way With people You are making your friends If you are making friends Who have bad company And you are going to be pressuring them That type of friends you should be with No, you are making friends with You have thought on that I think I just agree with him Because at the end of the day You disagree or just agree I agree with what you have said You have to know that Why should you be with Such people in your life You should be with friends who are able to protect you With Exactly Whether your partner is there or not Someone that you can stand in accountability Like for example people that are dating And are into courtship headed for marriage You need to have an accountability couple Now I have a problem here And I really need you guys to clarify When it comes to Closeness Some say Your best friends were there Before your partner came And they will be there even When you guys break up So keep your relationships Well With your best friends While others say Your partner is the one who you should give priority to It doesn't matter Who your best friends are Sometimes you need to let go of your best friends For the sake of your partner Now I am confused Who should we give priority here To whom Exactly When it comes to secrets That some Have best friends who know more about them Than their partner And some have Their partner who knows about them Than their best friends Which one is better I will tell you I will tell you Why Anthony Is it too much of a priority Because now The moment you give your best friend too much of a priority How this person of yours So priorities Alright Priorities and secrets I think When you establish respect between the two of them No one will feel more entitled than the other Because your question It is all about entitlement I am entitled to her And it's like If you as an individual first of all Establishes respect between Your best friend and your partner You will not be having such kind of questions Going on What is my man doing with the lady Best friend What are they bestifying That I cannot They are bestifying Bestification That's a lie It can never be me Not all best friends Can ruin your relationship But some can do it Because of jealousy A friendship may add a lot of value And happiness to your life But it can affect your life In not so good ways too Especially if your friends Don't wish too well For you Alright guys time We have to close it there And of course I know We still have not covered a lot That's how power talk is There is no day we have ever had Some good time but please bring up the quotas We bring this conversation to a close Now tell us whether you agree I come to Michael Basenden Anasema it's tragic How couples allow outsiders To ruin something so precious That took so long to build Loving your friends And family should never come At the price of destroying Your marriage or Your relationship And of course that presents To the end of this morning conversation Right on power talk Thank you so much for coming As I understand a big thanks to Quinn Massey Thanks so much for coming And of course a big thanks to everyone That ensured this show was a success My name is Ram Maguko See you again next week for power talk And of course we value your feedback Keep talking to us I repeat of this show as again tonight May God bless you May God bless the work of your hands This is power talk